Will not eating enough really stop me from losing weight? Suggestions please!

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  • justrollme
    justrollme Posts: 802 Member
    edited August 2015
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    sheldonklein wrote: »
    Until she accepts that she is eating enormously more food than she thinks she is (far more than can be explained by the inaccuracy of measuring cups, etc.) she will not lose weight. It is an act of cruelty to not tell her that as clearly as possible.

    I never said not to tell her. "Clear" and "sensitive" are not mutually exclusive. And, plenty of people on here were able to say it both clearly and with sensitivity, but unfortunately, she may be missing a lot of them, because she may not bother looking here again, which is my point.

    Edit:

    DeguelloTex wrote: »
    If someone is discouraged by facts, her chance of success is already minimal, whether she jets or not. Enabling and coddling doesn't have a perfect track record, either.

    Responding to someone in a sensitive manner does not mean it is enabling or coddling. o/
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    You don't have to "Eat alot" or have a "big appetite" to gain weight. Yes, it's absolutely about calories. To get to your current weight, you ate too many calories. Doesn't matter if it was a small amount of food or a large amount of food. What matters is the amount of calories you consumed. So maybe today is a "typical" day for you, but what about your other days? Are they the same exact meals? Probably not. Maybe you eat less calories one day but then eat alot more calories the next. Today you didn't have breakfast, but what about tomorrow? Your calorie intake is going to vary greatly, everyday.

    As for your logging, yes, I'd consider it inaccurate. You made the first step, which is to measure your food. But what your really want to do is weigh it. I can weight the same cup of oatmeal every single day and the weight of every single one is going to be different, making the calories different. Peanut butter is a higher calorie food. Any variation is going to skyrocket that calorie count, because there's not much peanut butter for your calorie buck. Also, even breads and pre-packaged foods should be weighed. I weigh my bread. 2 slices of my bread is supposed to be 43 grams. When I weigh it out, it can range anywhere from 36 grams to 48 grams. That's actually alot in terms of calories, especially if you're using a higher calorie bread.

    Believe me when I say NO ONE thinks you are lying or is accusing you of lying. What they do think is that your logging can be tightened up into tip top shape. They also think you do not defy the laws of math and science, which is what calorie intake and weight loss is. Because you are in the position of needing to lose weight, you had to have had a calorie surplus, regardless of how much (quantity) you ate. Like I said, you don't have to have eaten alot or have had a big appetite. Some foods are small but super high in calories.

    Don't get angry or offended. Get accurate. Get Educated. Get Successful.

  • justrollme
    justrollme Posts: 802 Member
    edited August 2015
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    Caitwn wrote: »
    The statement you use as an example ("there's no way you'd lose 300 pounds") is not even close to being offensive, and if someone is so reactive and defensive that they take it that way, I'm going to be courteous but I'm not going to walk on eggshells.

    Edit: It isn't offensive to you. That doesn't not mean it isn't to someone else.

  • litnbug
    litnbug Posts: 20 Member
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    I made the mistake of going back on this thread, which I will not do after this post. I UNDERSTAND about weighing, I UNDERSTAND about the whole process. As for the man that said I'm not ready, he can bite me. I appreciate the constructive criticism and advice. Some of you people are a little overzealous and I realize now that I should not have posted this thread. My mistake. I will not make it again. I know a woman who lost almost 100 lbs and never weighed an ounce of food. I also know a woman who is obsessed with it. My question didn't have anything to do with weighing or not weighing or whether I actually knew what a teaspoon was.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
    edited August 2015
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    litnbug wrote: »
    You know, this is really starting to aggravate me. I don't understand why you all would think I would lie about what I'm eating and then ask for advice. As far as medical problems, there are none that I know of, and I have had several different things checked including my thyroid, and was very let down when I found out it was normal.
    Did they run the whole panel? Unless you're plucking them, you've got the hypothyroid eyebrows. That's the only reason I ask. I'm kind of picky on the thyroid thing because my doctor said he ran the panel, but all he ran was TSH. I spent many years insisting I couldn't lose and being told that if those numbers were right, I should be losing. I was like, "Duh! I know that! That's why I came!"

    When I complained that I couldn't exercise because I was out of breath way too easily, he suggested more exercise. I was like, "How can more help?! I can't even swim anymore!" he suggested trying.

    Try.

    There were MANY comments carrying the moronic insinuation that I was lying and/or lazy. I really didn't appreciate that doctor or dietitian, lol.

    Then I got a good doctor. And everything changed. They whiz zed me through the endo, the surgeon, the cardiologist and into surgery. It wasn't even two weeks and that's with me having other important things to do.

    My dang thyroid was so ginormous that it had grown down and through my chest and was smooshing my lungs. It was also cutting off my windpipe. And that guy insisted it wasn't thyroid.

    You should've seen the surgeon's face when he said I'd let it go too long and I briefly told him my story. He asked questions. Then he asked for that guy's name and office location, lol. I hope he gave him hell.

    So, I'm very pro on getting the whole panel run. By an endocrinologist, if you can get the referral.

    I don't think you're lying and I KNOW that sometimes, there really is more to it than not logging properly.
  • justrollme
    justrollme Posts: 802 Member
    edited August 2015
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    Caitwn wrote: »
    justrollme wrote: »
    Caitwn wrote: »
    The statement you use as an example ("there's no way you'd lose 300 pounds") is not even close to being offensive, to me, and if someone is so reactive and defensive that they take it that way, I'm going to be courteous but I'm not going to walk on eggshells because someone else perceives things differently than I do.

    Fixed it for you.

    I'm not saying this to be a jerk. You should know that the "FTFY" stuff is something that can get you warning points. It's not considered to be respectful of other posters' point of view. I'm not reporting you for it because I don't report people for anything other than blatant hate-talk or promoting VLCDs or MLM schemes. Just letting you know about it.

    And that aside, you seem to have done a good job of missing my point in the first place.

    I'll go ahead and edit that. I think it is safe to say that we have missed each other's points completely and that we firmly disagree.

    Edit: Is your snarky "good job" okay to say? I'm guessing it is, which is pretty interesting.
  • HikeCyclist
    HikeCyclist Posts: 153 Member
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  • hamptontom
    hamptontom Posts: 536 Member
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    justrollme wrote: »

    I have noticed that occasionally, someone will post an apology for "being stubborn," after arguing over advice etc., which is great. But I'm suggesting that it has to be considered how many people jetpack.jpg out of here, discouraged. Everyone is quick to tell someone who apologizes how "classy" they are for doing so, but that really should be going both ways.

    I've wondered quite a bit, even during the short time i've been here, if anyone else noticed that, or if the sometimes prevalent tough love/hardass thing was just an accepted behavior model here.
  • UltimateEscape
    UltimateEscape Posts: 95 Member
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    hamptontom wrote: »
    justrollme wrote: »

    I have noticed that occasionally, someone will post an apology for "being stubborn," after arguing over advice etc., which is great. But I'm suggesting that it has to be considered how many people jetpack.jpg out of here, discouraged. Everyone is quick to tell someone who apologizes how "classy" they are for doing so, but that really should be going both ways.

    I've wondered quite a bit, even during the short time i've been here, if anyone else noticed that, or if the sometimes prevalent tough love/hardass thing was just an accepted behavior model here.


    When the "Diet Bullies" smell blood in the water they have a feeding frenzy.
  • justrollme
    justrollme Posts: 802 Member
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    hamptontom wrote: »
    I've wondered quite a bit, even during the short time i've been here, if anyone else noticed that, or if the sometimes prevalent tough love/hardass thing was just an accepted behavior model here.

    Yes, I do think it is accepted (and perhaps even encouraged) behavior here.
    shell1005 wrote: »
    Nah, there are just as many enablers and coddlers as there are tough love/truth tellers. So, pick your poison.

    "There is always a way to be honest without being brutal." ~Arthur Dobrin
  • slinke2014
    slinke2014 Posts: 149 Member
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    hamptontom wrote: »
    justrollme wrote: »

    I have noticed that occasionally, someone will post an apology for "being stubborn," after arguing over advice etc., which is great. But I'm suggesting that it has to be considered how many people jetpack.jpg out of here, discouraged. Everyone is quick to tell someone who apologizes how "classy" they are for doing so, but that really should be going both ways.

    I've wondered quite a bit, even during the short time i've been here, if anyone else noticed that, or if the sometimes prevalent tough love/hardass thing was just an accepted behavior model here.

    Its the same on most sites that I have found. Its not really tough love or being a hardass, at least in my opinion. I think its a lack of sugarcoating and treating adults like they are precious delicate little lambs incapable of hearing the truth about things. Some people might be a little more harsh than others but people can respond to it how they like. Sometimes facts are not pleasant. If people want to pack up their toys and go home, then that is on them and I don't even give much advice on this site.
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
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    litnbug wrote: »
    I made the mistake of going back on this thread, which I will not do after this post. I UNDERSTAND about weighing, I UNDERSTAND about the whole process. As for the man that said I'm not ready, he can bite me. I appreciate the constructive criticism and advice. Some of you people are a little overzealous and I realize now that I should not have posted this thread. My mistake. I will not make it again. I know a woman who lost almost 100 lbs and never weighed an ounce of food. I also know a woman who is obsessed with it. My question didn't have anything to do with weighing or not weighing or whether I actually knew what a teaspoon was.

    But our point is that until and unless you are ready to confront the fact that you are clearly eating more than you think you are, your chances of success are slim-to-none. I would bet that the person you know who lost a 100 lbs without weighing a thing probably had a better understanding of what she was eating in the first place.

    Again, no one is calling you a liar. If that is the only thing you are getting out of all the help you've been given here, then, no, you're not ready to make a change that will result in the weight loss you seem to want.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    shell1005 wrote: »
    hamptontom wrote: »
    justrollme wrote: »

    I have noticed that occasionally, someone will post an apology for "being stubborn," after arguing over advice etc., which is great. But I'm suggesting that it has to be considered how many people jetpack.jpg out of here, discouraged. Everyone is quick to tell someone who apologizes how "classy" they are for doing so, but that really should be going both ways.

    I've wondered quite a bit, even during the short time i've been here, if anyone else noticed that, or if the sometimes prevalent tough love/hardass thing was just an accepted behavior model here.

    Nah, there are just as many enablers and coddlers as there are tough love/truth tellers. So, pick your poison.

    You cannot have tough love without any love. Without actual love, it's just toughness.

    You can tell the truth without name-calling. Truth doesn't have to be brutal truth. There are other kinds.
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
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    hamptontom wrote: »
    justrollme wrote: »

    I have noticed that occasionally, someone will post an apology for "being stubborn," after arguing over advice etc., which is great. But I'm suggesting that it has to be considered how many people jetpack.jpg out of here, discouraged. Everyone is quick to tell someone who apologizes how "classy" they are for doing so, but that really should be going both ways.

    I've wondered quite a bit, even during the short time i've been here, if anyone else noticed that, or if the sometimes prevalent tough love/hardass thing was just an accepted behavior model here.

    I have been given some harsh advise and just plain mean speech here in to response to some replies I have made. If you hang around here for awhile, you know which of the frequent flyers are tough but accurate and which are completely lacking in tact. I take the tactless ones with a grain of salt, knowing that is their MO. The third kind, are abusive name callers, I report them, they don't seem to come back that often.
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