How do I stop feeling so self-conscious at the gym?

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BabyBloodheart
BabyBloodheart Posts: 6 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
New to the gym, and anxious about being there.

I feel absolutely ridiculous using an Olympic bar with just little 2.5kg plates (but the set bar weights available are too light) and using light weights when doing exercises like deadlift or barbel rows - I'm doing StrongLifts 5x5 and really weak so have to start light as possible. My form is terrible so I probably look ridiculous and all together very awkward trying to do an exercise too.

I get so anxious and I know people can tell - I have a strong 'worry face' and it can take me a few minutes of faffing around or checking videos of form to psyche myself up to doing an exercise. I'm also really odd looking, especially with my hair tied back, so that makes me anxious too!

I can't afford a personal trainer and go to the gym alone, so not sure how to get past this.
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Replies

  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,394 Member
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    It sounds like you know what you need to be doing so just keep doing it! Just ignore everyone else, assume they don't even know you're there. Are you listening to head phones? cause that really helps me get in to it.
  • bac0s
    bac0s Posts: 48 Member
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    In my experience, no one is worried about what everyone else is doing there. Everyone else seems to be doing the same thing I am... Getting my workout in so I can go about my day.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    You're pretty much gonna have to suck it up and keep going until you're moving big weights and your form is awesome.

    Just like everybody else on the planet.
  • suzettedees
    suzettedees Posts: 85 Member
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    My gym had an orientation that goes over all the equipment. I have worked out 1x a week with a trainer for the past 7 months. My first few times going by myself were scary but, I kept going and now I go 5x a week. See if you can download a strength training program for beginners and carry it with you at the gym. Honestly though I have found that no body is looking at me and I'm too busy focusing on what I am doing that the person next to me could be naked and I wouldn't notice. Keep going, it will get easier.
  • carlyp79
    carlyp79 Posts: 95 Member
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    I recently started at a gym and I find everyone else is busy with their own stuff and unless i am wandering back and forth looking lost or hopeless, nobody gives me a 2nd glance.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Quiet frankly no one cares about you.

    You're doing the right things... Go ahead and do the things you you're doing. You'll be alright.
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
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    JoRocka wrote: »
    Quiet frankly no one cares about you.

    You're doing the right things... Go ahead and do the things you you're doing. You'll be alright.

    Very much this. At my old commercial gym, I paid very little attention to what anyone else was doing, and while I occasionally got stares, I just tuned it out.

    At my current gym, well, we do pay a fair bit of attention to each other. But then, for the powerlifters, we are teammates and do help each other out with a spot or whatever else we need. And watching anyone attempt a new pr lift and cheering them on is par for the course.
  • BabyBloodheart
    BabyBloodheart Posts: 6 Member
    edited August 2015
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    But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.
  • dgiddens2001
    dgiddens2001 Posts: 23 Member
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    I just recently started at the gym, need to lose 125 lbs. I can only do 20-30 minutes on the treadmill, but I go and do what I can. The 1st time there, a very young muscular gentleman saw and and praised me for being there. That is the reason I keep going.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,618 Member
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    Lol, when I first started working out, I couldn't even bench the Olympic bar. So I started with 15lbs dumbells.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
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    BabyBloodheart wrote: »
    But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

    I get that feeling that everyone is looking at you and judging you, being almost painfully shy myself. But anyone looking at you in almost every gym is either not actually looking at you (mentally prepping for their next set, whatever) or respecting you for showing up. No one but you cares about how much weight you are lifting. Promise
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    BabyBloodheart wrote: »
    But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

    If you really are so odd looking, then why aren't you used to it already? I'm no prize but I stopped caring about what people think of my appearance long ago. Please refer to my previous post.
  • oh_happy_day
    oh_happy_day Posts: 1,138 Member
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    BabyBloodheart wrote: »
    But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

    So ignore them. Also just because they're looking at you doesn't mean they're judging you or thinking about you. Sometimes I catch myself 'looking' at people but it's more that I've zoned out and staring into middle distance. Or I'm thinking "oh I like her shoes". I don't pay attention to what sets people are doing or how much they're lifting. My experience is that most people at gyms are either disinterested in other people or are friendly and are thinking positively towards everyone else who has showed up.
  • Asher_Ethan
    Asher_Ethan Posts: 2,430 Member
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    I go to the gym all the time and I hardly ever look at anyone else... If I am looking at someone else it's because I'm admiring them. If they are super fit I am admiring their body... if it looks like they're a beginner and scared, I admire that they stood up to their fears and they are actually there (I wish I could cheer them on but that would be weird)

    You are fine, I promise.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    BabyBloodheart wrote: »
    But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

    Let's look at the level of detail we're talking about here - you think you're being stared at because you look awkward especially with your hair tied back? Really? The other gym goers finally get a few spare minutes away from screaming kids and other obligations, manage to fit a [sometimes] difficult workout in the middle of an already challenging day, but now they'll spend their time focused on someone because she's got her hair tied back or some other reason related to how she looks?

  • BodyByBex
    BodyByBex Posts: 3,685 Member
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    @BabyBloodheart If people ARE looking at you and you SEE them looking at you, ask them if they can watch your form for you and be willing and able to take some constructive criticism.
    OR before you work out, look for a familiar face, someone you see there at least as often as you are there and who looks like they know what they are doing, and ask them for assistance.

    It's harder than it seems to walk up to a stranger and ask for assistance but if you come up to them awkwardly enough they might find it endearing. In my experience, most people at the gym are happy to help those who are struggling. :smiley:
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,484 Member
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    Ok I may well be way out in left field here but;
    Have you thought of using the lighter bar, or even hand weights, until you get your form correct? Common sense says it would better to have correct form before progressing with weight, and it sounds as though the weight is stopping your form from progressing.

    As to how you look, maybe it is gym etiquette that is preventing people approaching you with help, but people are keeping a gentle eye on you for if you get into trouble. Ask for some tips, I bet you will get them.

    I am a diminutive old codger and no one cares when I trudge in to do my version of 5x5 with, sometimes incredibly light, hand weights ( only use an oly bar for dead lifts, and that is a bare bar)

    Just trying to give you a different slant on things.

    Cheers, h.
  • blueboxgeek
    blueboxgeek Posts: 574 Member
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    BabyBloodheart wrote: »
    But the point is that people ARE looking at me...because I'm odd looking, obviously anxious so wandering back and forth looking lost or worried, and using the equipment incorrectly or low weights which looks out of place.

    If I happen to notice another woman lifting weights at my gym (which is unlikely because I don't really pay attention to anyone else) and I notice she is using small weights.... I think "bloody good for you!". Everyone has to start somewhere. Just go for it x

  • AsISmile
    AsISmile Posts: 1,004 Member
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    middlehaitch wrote: »
    Ok I may well be way out in left field here but;
    Have you thought of using the lighter bar, or even hand weights, until you get your form correct? Common sense says it would better to have correct form before progressing with weight, and it sounds as though the weight is stopping your form from progressing.

    As to how you look, maybe it is gym etiquette that is preventing people approaching you with help, but people are keeping a gentle eye on you for if you get into trouble. Ask for some tips, I bet you will get them.

    I am a diminutive old codger and no one cares when I trudge in to do my version of 5x5 with, sometimes incredibly light, hand weights ( only use an oly bar for dead lifts, and that is a bare bar)

    Just trying to give you a different slant on things.

    Cheers, h.

    This.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    What they all said nobody cares. Keep a record of progress and you will see if you are consistent you will only lift heavier. If you really have such an anxiety problem then go at quieter times till you build up confidence. Just above in tat form is really importnat so dont be afraid to ask, but pick your moment.

    If you are stuck then ask a trainer if they cna just show you correct form as its in their interest for people to do things safely. They should always spare 5-10 mins. Dont sign up just be polite. Overcoming your anxiety issues at the gym will give you confidence and will be as much a bonus as getting stronger and losing weight.

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