People Problem

I've been trying to maintain my weight for about 2 months now. Controversially I am refusing to weigh as well during this time. Why? I need to prove to myself that my habits are permanent now. That I have the self control I need to make this permanent. I check my trousers (pants) every time I put them on to ensure there is still that "extra" room to which I have become accustom to in them. If that wasn't the case I would probably weigh and get back into my old routine.

So far so good. I have enjoyed being able to eat pizza, chocolate and crisps again. Not that I ever banned them but they were carefully controlled in my calorie counting. Have I over indulged? Of course! On balance though I feel as though I haven't moved very much in terms of weight. My clothes still fit as before. I can still feel all those new bones in my body that I gained in the past year.

My other half finds it mind blowing that a 365 pound man can drop to 175 pounds and not have to worry about he way he eats going forward. The truth is I do worry about it, every day, every meal and every time I put on clothes. I'm happy with this though. I have replaced total indifference to my excessive consumption to a heightened awareness of what I am doing to my body.

I tend to eat twice a day with a few little snacks just because of my lifestyle now. If I do overindulge often it's at breakfast and then I just end up having an evening meal later. If I do pick at sweets or crisps that people have around me then I just let it wash over me. I have a few of them now and not whole bag so I need to forgive myself these treats every now and again.

I still refuse to participate in cake or cookie consumption in work. I don't see any point in it. If it's someone's birthday then I'll join in but I'll not be eating your cake because you came in via a supermarket and they have massive boxes of cakes on offer and you wanted one but didn't want to indulge alone so now you are fattening the whole office up to make you feel better. I refuse to play the game of people telling me what I should or shouldn't eat.

People will do this! I'd lost 10 stone when sat at my desk eating crisps (low fat ones) and a manager about 3 or 4 stone heavier than me said "you shouldn't be eating those". I think looking at you my friend it is I that should be dishing out the advice about who can eat what! Conversely people will say "oh go on you can have one", I'm sorry I wasn't aware that the NHS outsourced my dietician to being you? Is this now like Alcoholics Anonymous? Have I got you as my mentor? Do I ring you at 3am crying about the Jaffa cakes calling me from the kitchen cupboard? Will we be found the two of us in a cardboard box down an alleyway with empty multipacks of crisps strewn across the floor if we fall off the wagon and have one too many biscuits?

All of this leads me nearly to the point of this post. The biggest problem in your life and success at weight loss is other people. A friend, parent, partner or child who is not supportive of your goals is like dragging a heavy rock on a marathon. Talk to them. I am not suggesting you cut them out of your life but just make it clear how you feel. Tell them how badly you want to change and how they can support you. Communication is king. A supportive partner in this fight can make such a huge difference.

I will return to daily logging I am sure, but for now I need to relax a little. 18 months of "dieting" has awakened a need to just stop counting for a little bit. I don't intend to go mad and I'll hold my hands up and tell you all that I am still learning. I know I'll eat what I buy so I buy smaller or not at all. No multipacks for me! BOGOF deals stay on the supermarket shelf. It's not a perfect life but it is my life.