"Too heavy" he said to me

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Replies

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Lol! Thank you
  • Lynzdee18
    Lynzdee18 Posts: 500 Member
    He saved you dumping him later when you saw his true colours! Sent a text? Jerk.... Not worth the trouble....
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you!
    Lynzdee18 wrote: »
    He saved you dumping him later when you saw his true colours! Sent a text? Jerk.... Not worth the trouble....

  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
    OP. You'll know when you meet the right person - someone who wants 'you' for 'you' and just simply loves you, regardless of what size you happen to be at the time.

    When I first met my partner of over 20 years I was 112lbs and had a great figure. We had a great physical relationship and were (and still are) true soul mates. I can remember him telling me that he would love me just as much if I was twice the size and guess what - I did get fat and old lol and he does love me just as much.
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Wow! Thank you for sharing, I feel more hopeful today than yesterday!
    suziecue20 wrote: »
    OP. You'll know when you meet the right person - someone who wants 'you' for 'you' and just simply loves you, regardless of what size you happen to be at the time.

    When I first met my partner of over 20 years I was 112lbs and had a great figure. We had a great physical relationship and were (and still are) true soul mates. I can remember him telling me that he would love me just as much if I was twice the size and guess what - I did get fat and old lol and he does love me just as much.

  • emmagrace0818
    emmagrace0818 Posts: 211 Member
    Omg that's so awful, he was definitely a waste of your time! Stay positive and focused and do this for YOU.. you will be happier in the long run
  • krenwren
    krenwren Posts: 136 Member
    edited September 2015
    not to worry, plenty of folks out there that are looking for what you got!
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    rhianna818 wrote: »
    Yeah, that really sucks. Its hard to hear. Especially after 4 months. But in the long run it was better the told you. I mean, he could have left the part about your weight out of it tho. That is the part that makes him a dbag. Having a preference is fine. I've had to be the one to tell someone I wasn't interested (not bc of weight but other physical features) and it was so hard to find the courage to say it, but I took into account the other persons feelings and wasn't mean. Good luck to you and you will find someone who will love everything about you! The before and after picture :smiley:

    What she said. There are more mature men out there, he just is not one of them.
  • jessica22222
    jessica22222 Posts: 374 Member
    arditarose wrote: »
    what a turd

    Bahaha! Perfect.
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    LOL!
    jessica22222 wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    what a turd

    Bahaha! Perfect.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Awwwwww thanks
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you so much!
    emmagrace0818 wrote: »
    Omg that's so awful, he was definitely a waste of your time! Stay positive and focused and do this for YOU.. you will be happier in the long run

  • ManiacalLaugh
    ManiacalLaugh Posts: 1,048 Member
    You've already received 100 replies, so let me just add (or repeat?) that the silver lining is that you found out about this now. It's so much better than finding out after investing physically and emotionally that you're not what your partner really expected (something I'm kind of dealing with, to an extent - after two years dating and one year living together).

    I know that doesn't make it easier though. :( Some people just have wonky priorities.
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    edited September 2015
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »
    Unpopular opinion alert....
    I actually thought his text was tasteful. It hurt to read, I'm sure, but he was trying to be gentle.
    Looking at the other side, perhaps he enjoyed spending time with you so much that he wanted to try getting past the physical part, but then decided it was a deal breaker for him. He should have made this decision earlier for sure, but 4 months really isn't that long in the scheme of things.

    Pick yourself up and move on. If you want to lose weight, great, but it shouldn't have anything to do with revenge or anyone else.

    This is interesting.
    I'm actually glad he said anything at all... although his reasoning being your size, I mean yeah that stings...I'm sorry about that. He probably could have gone with out saying that, and just told you he wasn't feeling any chemistry...because if it's been 4 months and you wanted sex and he didn't (apart from religious reasons) he wasn't into you anyway. Sorry he strung you along for that long... there is always someone else around the corner that will like you inside and out.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    Sounds like you got lucky!
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
    At least he was honest with you and saved you finding out he was not compatible in the long run. He obviously has his views/opinions on what he's looking for in a partner and expressed them to you. Sorry it did not work out and I'm sure you will find somebody more compatible.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    He could have been honest 4 flipping months ago! Everyone has a preference, but why string along someone for 4 months when you weren't attracted to them in the first place? It doesn't take 4 months to realize this. You are better off and friend request sent!
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    He could have been honest 4 flipping months ago! Everyone has a preference, but why string along someone for 4 months when you weren't attracted to them in the first place? It doesn't take 4 months to realize this. You are better off and friend request sent!

    Maybe he did not want to be shallow and judge on first impressions and wanted to get to know her more as a person before deciding. Why is it stringing her along, they were dating to see if they were suitable for each other to take the next step. Both parties were involved in the dating process and it sounds like they had a nice time while it lasted.
  • MondayJune22nd2015
    MondayJune22nd2015 Posts: 876 Member
    slideaway1 wrote: »
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    He could have been honest 4 flipping months ago! Everyone has a preference, but why string along someone for 4 months when you weren't attracted to them in the first place? It doesn't take 4 months to realize this. You are better off and friend request sent!

    Maybe he did not want to be shallow and judge on first impressions and wanted to get to know her more as a person before deciding. Why is it stringing her along, they were dating to see if they were suitable for each other to take the next step. Both parties were involved in the dating process and it sounds like they had a nice time while it lasted.

    Even though life is the longest thing we do, it's still too short; to spend 4 months of dating to know whether or not someone is physically attracted to them. Physical attraction is determined upon 1st glance. Whereas other attractions, take longer. It seems to be that he was having a good time with her, as a friend only but was aware that her interest went beyond that. I believe that he thought that if she knew, he was just friend zoning her; she wouldn't want to spend anymore time with him because possibly she wasn't looking for another friend. So he strung her along, until it came to a point; that he felt that she'd want to have sex with him.
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    edited September 2015
    Tks
    MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »
    slideaway1 wrote: »
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    He could have been honest 4 flipping months ago! Everyone has a preference, but why string along someone for 4 months when you weren't attracted to them in the first place? It doesn't take 4 months to realize this. You are better off and friend request sent!

    Maybe he did not want to be shallow and judge on first impressions and wanted to get to know her more as a person before deciding. Why is it stringing her along, they were dating to see if they were suitable for each other to take the next step. Both parties were involved in the dating process and it sounds like they had a nice time while it lasted.

    Even though life is the longest thing we do, it's still too short; to spend 4 months of dating to know whether or not someone is physically attracted to them. Physical attraction is determined upon 1st glance. Whereas other attractions, take longer. It seems to be that he was having a good time with her, as a friend only but was aware that her interest went beyond that. I believe that he thought that if she knew, he was just friend zoning her; she wouldn't want to spend anymore time with him because possibly she wasn't looking for another friend. So he strung her along, until it came to a point; that he felt that she'd want to have sex with him.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Well said! Thank for your comment
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    He could have been honest 4 flipping months ago! Everyone has a preference, but why string along someone for 4 months when you weren't attracted to them in the first place? It doesn't take 4 months to realize this. You are better off and friend request sent!

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Tks
    slideaway1 wrote: »
    At least he was honest with you and saved you finding out he was not compatible in the long run. He obviously has his views/opinions on what he's looking for in a partner and expressed them to you. Sorry it did not work out and I'm sure you will find somebody more compatible.

  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,644 Member
    Sounds like a real a-hole. In case you lose a bunch of weight and he starts paying attention to you again, start thinking of clever quips now. You'll want to be ready with creative ways to tell him where he can shove it.
  • KateTii
    KateTii Posts: 886 Member
    Eh, sounds like an excuse. "Too heavy" is the sort of excuse an insensitive person would say on the first date. It's not something you come up with 4 months in. He has lost interest for some other reason and decided "too heavy" was a "good excuse". I would wager it's not your weight or anything else to do with you. Dodged a bullet there!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    edited September 2015
    tcarmen85 wrote: »
    This was the tex I received from him "I really do enjoy hanging out with you and you are lots of fun. There's a lot of characteristics about you that I do like. However I'm afraid of myself. I've never dated anyone heavier than me. I'm not sure how I would handle that in the long run. That may not be fair to you. that may not be fair to you. And perhaps I'm the one with the problem.
    karyabc wrote: »
    :/ please elaborate the exact words he told you , like "yeah you're actually too heave so no thank you? "

    Hey, I dated a guy who was the opposite... he told me that he wasn't used to being the fat one in the relationship. The man I'm head over heels in love with now was well worth the wait.

    Clearly your ex IS right - it's his problem.
  • LeWahnderful
    LeWahnderful Posts: 64 Member
    At least he was honest with you, and didn't just disappear.
  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
    I don't think what he said was that mean. It seems like he really liked hanging out with you but you weren't just his type physically? He maybe thought he could overcome the physical thing but after 4 months realized he couldn't? We all have our preferences.
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Tks
    Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »
    I don't think what he said was that mean. It seems like he really liked hanging out with you but you weren't just his type physically? He maybe thought he could overcome the physical thing but after 4 months realized he couldn't? We all have our preferences.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Tks
    LeWahnderful wrote: »
    At least he was honest with you, and didn't just disappear.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Lol funny and Thank you
    MireyGal76 wrote: »
    tcarmen85 wrote: »
    This was the tex I received from him "I really do enjoy hanging out with you and you are lots of fun. There's a lot of characteristics about you that I do like. However I'm afraid of myself. I've never dated anyone heavier than me. I'm not sure how I would handle that in the long run. That may not be fair to you. that may not be fair to you. And perhaps I'm the one with the problem.
    karyabc wrote: »
    :/ please elaborate the exact words he told you , like "yeah you're actually too heave so no thank you? "

    Hey, I dated a guy who was the opposite... he told me that he wasn't used to being the fat one in the relationship. The man I'm head over heels in love with now was well worth the wait.

    Clearly your ex IS right - it's his problem.

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