"You don't NEED to lose anymore weight!!!"
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Yes - I hate this - I'm just in the beginning and some people are arguing that it's ok for me to lose 2-3 kg and that's enough. I'm 70 kg, 168 cm and I want to lose 10 kg. And they are constantly "advising" me - it's frustrating and very annoying!0
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Ignore them. There's lots of skinny fat people walking around too! The only important marker is your percent of bodyfat.
I don't agree with the body fat comment, I think it is how you look and feel that is important, I've been 9 stone and looked ok, but at 10 stone was more toned and looked much better ...0 -
The same people who used to get on my case about being too heavy are now telling me to stop losing weight because I'm skinny enough now. I've been called anorexic, unhealthy, and a relative even joked that I must be on chemo or something. (I don't find that to be a funny joke at all, by the way. Not cool.)
If you're believer in BMI, I'm not even out of the "overweight" range yet for my height, and I most definitely have a lot of belly fat still to lose. I think in about another 25 lbs., I'll be starting to think about maintenance. The last time I saw him, my doctor even said "You're doing everything right. Continue to try getting down to a healthy weight." Notice he didn't say, "Your weight is healthy now. Please stop."
Yes, I'm way skinnier now. Yes, I look much smaller, especially now that I've refreshed my wardrobe a bit and am wearing outfits that fit my new body. But this journey ends when I say it ends. Not when anyone else does.0 -
The wonderful world of being vertically challenged, or as I like better "space efficient."
With all the ups and downs I've been through with my weight at only 5'0", I can completly relate. Another I love, "you ONLY wear a size 5/6?! You are so lucky! I would NOT be dieting if I could squeeze my butt in a size 5!"
What the taller people fail to realize is that at my height, any pant size above a 1 or a 2 means I am overweight. Size 5 is a step away from being obese.
I envy the taller people, from my short prospective, it feels like it would be much less of a struggle to keep the weight down if only I was tall. My husband is 6'1" so he can eat, what seems to me, a massive amount of food and still stay lean. He also burns nearly triple the amount of calories I do when we go hiking together. Must be nice :-(0 -
I know this too. I think the good thing to know is that most people try to act and say things in a well meaning way. Most people are uncomfortable about their own weight and in most cultures we don't know how to politely talk about fat and weight. It all ends up in a a bit of an uncomfortable social blunder.
We are also very conditioned to act or feel victimized in our culture....examine if you are allowing yourself to feel victimized and knock it off immediately. Those feelings won't help you in any way. Better to spend emotional energy celebrating your successes... Like nearly reaching your weight loss goal. Acknowledge that your feelings are hurt and move on to greatness.0 -
I get this a lot now. I find it really interesting actually. Not to get all psychobabbleish, but I often think it's just people projecting their frustration with themselves onto me. Seeing others have success and the resulting change in lifestyle and attitude just reminds so many people that they haven't been able to do it in whatever capacity they have attempted.
Or not.... hahah.
I used to answer the question. I used to say "yeah but if you didn't know me and saw me walking down the street, you wouldn't think twice about my weight".....
Now I just use the "NOPE" reply mentioned above. It's a winner! lol0 -
Today I had a whole lot of that conversation.
Them wanting to know if I were going to keep losing weight or if I were planning to stop now.
Me hedging.
Thing is, I'm not even at the halfway point of my normal BMI range yet. I'm really close ... like within 1 kg, but not quite there. And I'd like to get into the lower half of my normal BMI range.
I'm not planning to go underweight.
I'm not even planning to go right to the bottom of my normal BMI range.
I'd just like to be somewhere in that lower half of the range so I don't have so much weight to haul up the hills around here. I want to be able to cycle up hills and not feel like I'm dying when I get halfway up!!
And the funny thing is, I spent a lot of years in that lower half of the range ... only the people I know now, even my husband, never knew me then. So what seems normal to me, seems skinny to them.
This. I have experienced this and seen lots and lots of forum discussions about it.
For me, it's not people being jerks or what not. It's often a reaction to seeing the change in your body. People know you a certain way, so they are reacting to the change. If someone was always a certain weight than that is what people is as their normal. When someone loses a bunch of weight....the shift can be jarring, so you get a lot of the "You look great now. Don't lose anymore." It's all relative. I doesn't mean it isn't frustrating, but it's also not abnormal. IMO.
I usually tell people that I will always be working on my fitness. At this point, I am not trying to lose any more weight...so I just tell people I am staying right where I am at. Or I say, I'm happy where I am....thanks.
Yes exactly.
I was kind of taken aback today especially when crowds gathered and everyone was saying how thin I looked etc. etc. I don't mind.
But at the same time, in my head was ... but I'm not even down to my normal weight yet! And then it suddenly occurred to me that I've only been working here for 2 years, and up till recently I was a bit overweight. These people don't know me at my normal weight.
So it's OK ... we'll all adapt.
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I wouldn't let it bother you much. You can just tell them that your goal weight would leave you right in the middle of a healthy BMI, and you feel better than ever.0
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I have always been overweight. When DH met me in early college, I was around 170. By the time our first kid came I had been at 225 for the longest time. I am also 5'2. A couple of years ago, after we were done having kids, I decided to lose weight and lost 40 lbs and stabalized in the 160's and was pretty happy. Now all the kids are in school and I am back at it again to get down to 135 (which is top of the BMI but middlin top for the large frame). DH actually had the convo with me the other night of so how far down are you gonna get? When I told him 135 he thought for a bit and was like, ok..thats cool...but I don't think you should go any lower. When I asked why, he looked at me so sadly and said, cause I don't want you to lose your butt! Total pear here and never ever will I lose my butt cause its huge. I laughed at him and said honey, even if I got lower, I would be a stick with this huge ole butt on the back, you don't have to worry.
I think thats the first time I ever got the, don't go any lower then that. He already says I look fantastic and I hear good things quite a bit, but while I like what is see with the clothes on, I am not happy with the nakid in the mirror 0 -
People have little clue what X lbs of weight loss look like on someone. You should see peoples' faces who have known me all my life, obviously saw me a couple of years ago when I decided to lose some weight, and when I hit goal weight, asked me now how much I have lost.
They about fainted when I said nearly 25 lbs. They were thinking maybe 10 lbs. And they about croaked when I told them I could technically lose another 10 lbs and still be healthy by BMI.
See, I was never technically overweight. And, I'm almost as short as you (5'3"). People think they're going to notice every pound lost. But they don't unless the fat is mostly coming off in one area and it often doesn't work that way.0 -
PinkPixiexox wrote: »Is anyone else familiar with the "That's enough now.. You don't need to lose anymore weight, you'll look GAUNT" conversation? *Rolls Eyes*
It kind of depends on context. I've told people they should consider the fact that they don't need to lose anymore weight, but I never would've volunteered that comment if I didn't think I had the appropriate kind of relationship to say it.
I've told two separate people to stop losing because I was concerned about their health. Because they already had very little body fat and lean mass and were talking about trying extreme things like only eating raw veggies and chicken broth for a month to lose whatever pudginess they imagined was there. When I brought up my concerns for their health, they didn't want to hear it, but when I brought up their looks, and how other people might see them... Well, the appeal to their vanity worked. (And that's one reason why I go straight for the side effects of hair loss and bad skin when talking to people on VLCDs here on MFP; they don't care what under-eating does to their organs, but if affects their looks, they're more likely to listen.)
That being said, I've received the "you're getting too skinny" comment from my mom when I was even heavier than I am now (and I still have 30 lbs I want to lose). The eye roll definitely happened. But in her case, I knew she was trying to be positive, so I changed the subject and continued on my merry path.0 -
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You might consider "nope" for an answer.
"Are you planning to lose more weight?"
"Nope!"
10 pounds later...
"Have you lost more weight?"
"Nope!"
This was the strategy I used with my wife. I started losing weight while she was pregnant and gaining weight, which irked her. "Have you been losing weight?" Nope! She caught on after about 30 lbs though....
What's interesting about the subject at hand is that it's NOT limited only to people who also need to lose weight. It would be easy to label this problem as being jealousy or something like that. Last night at work a coworker who is quite fit and thin asked me if I was planning to lose more weight. When I replied "probably another 15 lbs" her response was "Really? From where?" as if to imply that I'm rail thin. I'm still 183 lbs, not "thin" by any means!
I think the "nope" response is really the best one.0 -
30 lbs in 5 months? That is awesome. You started exactly where I am and are now exactly what I want to be at.
Maybe people are jealous. You were very successful in what so many people fail at. Congrats! Take it as a compliment.
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stephaniemarie2 wrote: »30 lbs in 5 months? That is awesome. You started exactly where I am and are now exactly what I want to be at.
Maybe people are jealous. You were very successful in what so many people fail at. Congrats! Take it as a compliment.
Thank you very much :]
I am happy with my weight loss so far but if I were to do this again, I would probably slow it down and entitle myself to have a bit more of a 'life' in the process. I haven't had a single treat as of yet (something I will definitely be changing)! I appreciate your comment however.0 -
Don't let it mess with your head, I received comments like your heads to big for your body, you're getting to small, you don't look good skinny... lots and lots of *kitten* up comments! All from coworkers within an office environment which was/is completely unprofessional IMO.
100000000 questions about my diet all the time, every day ... trying to explain I just eat healthy and am not on diet was the worst.
They'll start to ask you for help; don't do it man!! it's such a waste of your time! I've done full meal plans, offered free training no one does anything with it. My go to is; I'll help as soon as you invest some time and learn why you need to restrict your calories, do that and track your food for 2 weeks bring me the logs and then we can start. By "they" I mean coworkers I help my friends for free.
I did a bulk for a year after all the comments about being small got to me, you do get the reverse. I had people ask me if I stopped working out, "why'd you quit working out"... "way to fall off" it's like ... there is no pleasing any of these mothers. I was also asked if I was using or am on steroids, people didn't believe that I've done everything 100% natural... it's so annoying
I can legit go on about this and the *kitten* rude people around me for hours!!! at the end of the day I am in year 3 of being smaller, the attention has died off but it comes up with new hires from time to time (not by me). just a FYI I went from 355lbs to 182lbs total of 173lbs lost, I never reached my goal... I wanted to weigh 178lbs so I could say I lost literally half myself ... I could care less now.
[Edited by MFP Staff]0 -
Tell them you're working your way to the weight range your doctor told you to do. And yes, you've had a second opinion that concurred. Even if you really haven't, most people aren't going to argue with that!0
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Until it's coming from the doctor, it's just people giving opinions and doesn't matter.
Loads of people feign shock when I say that yes, I plan to lose a lot more weight. They think it's the nice thing to do. I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not paying them for good advice, you know?
When the doctor says he thinks it's a bad idea, then it's time to listen. 0 -
I got to admit that bmi really isn't that accurate, you could have lots of muscle and be considered overweight and not have any fat on you.
I guess it would be best to go by body fat, not bmi.0 -
This isn't scientific or anything, but I couldn't help but notice that the few people who have commented negatively on my weight loss ("So, are you done, yet?" "You're going to disappear!") sure could stand to lose a few, themselves.
Just sayin'.
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