Any advice to convince wife lifting isnt just for men?
crpoll5
Posts: 105 Member
My wife (44) is totally into fitness and goes to the gym daily with me. She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio. I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat. I look at other women who enter the gym and go straight to the weights compared to the ones who are cardio only. There is a huge difference. (No, I am not a gym creeper). How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband. Also, is there a good website or program for women and weight lifting?
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Replies
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New rules of lifting for women
Jamie Eason Live Fit Trainer
Strong Curves
I think for a lot of women, it's all mental and a lack of knowledge. New rules and strong curves does a lot to discuss how women will not get "bulky" and "big" from lifting weights. She needs to learn that cardio is not necessarily king. Does she notice the women that lift? What are her opinions on them? Maybe if she pays attention to them, she will see that they aren't bulky or big or gross. They are strong which to me, is way more important. Anyway, good luck!0 -
Enough said
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I looked at enough photos of women who lift to realize those were the body types I'm after. Not nearly done, or trying to toot my own horn, but the below picture is before and after I did New Rules of Lifting for Women, and only about 7 pounds difference. It totally changed my body and how I look at exercise.
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I love weights. I do slow reps until muscle failiure, it gives u definition and quick. If she alternates that 30mins 3 times.a week with a couple of 15min Hiit sessions she will see a real difference. We dont hold the levels of testosterone to bulk up naturally0
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Oh and trx is the bugs nuts0
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Is she a member of MFP? If so just have her read this thread https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/977538/halp-heavy-lifting-made-me-supah-bulky/p1
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OP, in your post you wrote, "she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat." Can you explain what you mean by this statement?
My first reaction to this post is to remind you that everyone has their own fitness goals, and lifting weights may not be a part of hers. Either way, that is for her to decide. If she is not losing weight, it is because she is not in a calorie deficit. That's the plain truth. Trading cardio for strength training will not necessarily help with that.
To answer your question, I don't know how to convince any human being on the planet to start lifting weights. How were YOU convinced?0 -
JamestheLiar wrote: »OP, in your post you wrote, "she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat." Can you explain what you mean by this statement?
My first reaction to this post is to remind you that everyone has their own fitness goals, and lifting weights may not be a part of hers. Either way, that is for her to decide. If she is not losing weight, it is because she is not in a calorie deficit. That's the plain truth. Trading cardio for strength training will not necessarily help with that.
To answer your question, I don't know how to convince any human being on the planet to start lifting weights. How were YOU convinced?
^^^Makes a good point
OP instead of coming at this from the aesthetics angle talk to her about the health benefits (which are way more important anyway) of resistance training for women. Staving off osteoporosis,retaining bone mass, keeping her healthy and strong etc. Most women who have got themselves locked into the cardio bunny mindset have no idea how important resistance training is for for their health.
If she is very hesitant about venturing into the weight room suggest she starts with a body pump type of class.
I would however be very careful how you go about this one though. Whilst I'm sure you're not saying this what she might hear is 'I would find you more attractive if you lifted and toned up'
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If she isn't interested, there may be no convincing her. Have you asked her WHY she isn't interested in trying them?
My wife is almost the same age and knows that if she lifted even a little bit she'd lose more weight, but she's intimidated by the weight area at her gym. (Or the people there, either way.)
I'm hoping when I get my garage finished there's room for a squat rack up front and will see if I can get her doing some lifting 2-3x a week. Nothing crazy, just enough to help her upper body build some muscle and help accelerate her weight loss. This would give her a "safe" place to learn some lifts and build some confidence.
But, if she's set in her reasons, no amount of "convincing" will work and the potential for hurt feelings could be high.0 -
JamestheLiar wrote: »OP, in your post you wrote, "she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat." Can you explain what you mean by this statement?
My first reaction to this post is to remind you that everyone has their own fitness goals, and lifting weights may not be a part of hers. Either way, that is for her to decide. If she is not losing weight, it is because she is not in a calorie deficit. That's the plain truth. Trading cardio for strength training will not necessarily help with that.
To answer your question, I don't know how to convince any human being on the planet to start lifting weights. How were YOU convinced?
I'd have to agree with this. This is something that I wouldn't push at all. I think that weights are great and awesome and I can't imagine not lifting them but not everybody feels the same way. My husband hates lifting weights. He thinks it's the most boring thing ever. He had to do it when he was younger for sports and hated it then and once he no longer was on a team he stopped lifting. He broke down and tried it with me once several months ago and still did not enjoy it. So he just doesn't do it now. Yeah, I kind of wish he was more into them but I'm not going to push him to do something he doesn't like.0 -
My wife (44) is totally into fitness and goes to the gym daily with me. She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio. I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat. I look at other women who enter the gym and go straight to the weights compared to the ones who are cardio only. There is a huge difference. (No, I am not a gym creeper). How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband. Also, is there a good website or program for women and weight lifting?
No. She is not losing because currently she is eating at maintenance. Whether she will eat less, add strength training or choose to hop around the enighbourhood to create a deficit is up to her, IF she wants to create one.
Not all women who have nice bodies use weights.
To give you an opposite example, in my gym, most women (not all) you would meet lifting in the late evening, they honestly do not look good. It has nothing to do with weight lifting, it is just coincidence. Weight lifting does not guarantee a nice body. Take a look at some of the olympic medalists in weight lifting (women). They are all incredibly strong, many have a body that would not be called slim or even lean by any stretch of the meaning.
If she frequents the gym a lot, at her age, she probably knows what she likes. She cannot commit to a training routine because you think it would be better for her. What if she told you that male dancers have usually awesome bodies (and they usually do). Would you feel comfortable starting ballet classes because your wife like the bodies of dancers and hopes it will work for you too?0 -
The compound lifting gives me more power in tennis.
And, when I'm 90, I don't want to be worrying about breaking a hip or waiting for someone to open a door for me.0 -
So, the thing is that you have to lift weights instead of cardio to lose weight now? *yawns*0
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My wife (44) is totally into fitness and goes to the gym daily with me. She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio. I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat. I look at other women who enter the gym and go straight to the weights compared to the ones who are cardio only. There is a huge difference. (No, I am not a gym creeper). How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband. Also, is there a good website or program for women and weight lifting?
If you really believe the bolded, you're not in any shape to talk to anyone about weight loss. I wonder if your wife really wants to lose more weight/change her physique, or if that's what you want her to do.
EDIT: English are hard language.
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She has to come around to it on her own, honestly. My husband told me to lift heavier weights for 9 years, but it wasn't what I wanted to do. Turns out he was right, that lifting weights would help me achieve my aesthetic goals, but I need to realize that on my own.0
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Ironmaiden4life wrote: »OP instead of coming at this from the aesthetics angle talk to her about the health benefits (which are way more important anyway) of resistance training for women. Staving off osteoporosis,retaining bone mass, keeping her healthy and strong etc. Most women who have got themselves locked into the cardio bunny mindset have no idea how important resistance training is for for their health.
This is great. Not to mention the brain benefits (neurogenesis). The more I've learned, the more I'm convinced every man, woman, and child should ideally be lifting.
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I started doing mainly cardio. Then I added upper body weights because I figured my legs were getting enough of a workout carrying me around. Then, as I started losing weight, I started working on my legs because they didn't have as much weight to carry around. I've noticed that my cardio capability has increased since I added weight training on my legs. Bulking up (if that's what she's trying to avoid) isn't a necessary consequence of resistance training but it sure does a body good. Women, especially, need to watch their bone density.0
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There are plenty of women who don't lift weights and have nice, lean and toned bodies and all they do is run, cycle, spin, bodyweight exercise, pilates, yoga etc. If she wanted to lift weights she'd already have done so by now. Some women, like me, are just not into barbells, not because we're ignorant or afraid of bulking, we just don't want to.
If she's stopped losing weight despite all the cardio she does, it's not because she's reached some kind of limit. It's because she's eating at a maintenance level equal to her activity level. She either needs to increase her activity, or eat less or both.0 -
Maybe try a class ... If your gym has them thongs like body pump and kettle bells always have women in them also lots of easy to follow moves good music and doesn't make you feel like you will bulk. Might not get results as fast but I love my classes.
Maybe see about a personal trainer session0 -
She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio.
She's not losing because she's not in deficit, it doesn't matter whether she's doing CV or resistance work.I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat.
How much of that failure to convince her is because your assertion is wrong? Resistance training creates a different type of repair need, so helps with composition. As she's not in deficit she's not optimising how her excess fuel is used.
Turn your message into something positive, and informed, and she might be more receptive.How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband.
The conversation really depends on your relationship and equally how informed you really are on how the body responds to training.
Resistance training <> lifting weights, bodyweight work or strap systems work well, so the right answer for her may be different. Equally what motivates her to train, what does she enjoy about what she does?
I'd suggest that this is about supporting her in achieving her goals, not convincing her to do what you want her to do.
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Cardio vs strength training don't have that much to do with losing weight. Only a calorie deficit will create a weight loss.0
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The big obstacle I've encountered trying to bring weight training into my exercise plan is that whenever I start working with weights, I get sore, and it interferes with my very modest cardio activities. Going from not fit to fit, it's been difficult to shift my life also to fit in sessions to the gym. I'm aiming for twice a week strength training, and it's on a list, and I have been going easy, which may not be as beneficial. Not getting there twice yet, but with it will happen if I keep trying to work at it.0
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I agree with a lot of the information you've already been given. Lifting weights has a lot of benefits including helping to retain bone density and not losing muscle will help older individuals maintain mobility. I've been really looking around at a lot of older people, and there's a huge difference in quality of life based on their ability to move around easily or not.
That said, lifting weights isn't the only way to get there. I love lifting, but many women don't, and that's fine. There are tons of types of resistance training, and some women don't like it at all. If she doesn't enjoy something, she's not going to do it long term. You can point her in the direction of the supah bulky thread above, and bret contreras has some good info on why women should lift. But, it's her decision.
And i agree with the statement that if she's not losing, she's eating too much. Adding lifting to her program isn't going to make her magically lose. In fact, many women get frustrated with lifting because they experience a gain when they first start or sometimes a very long stall in losses.
She needs to be tracking her calories accurately, eating at a moderate deficit, eating foods that keep her satiated so that she's able to stay within her goal, and doing exercise she enjoys to help maintain longterm health.0 -
My wife (44) is totally into fitness and goes to the gym daily with me. She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio. I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat. I look at other women who enter the gym and go straight to the weights compared to the ones who are cardio only. There is a huge difference. (No, I am not a gym creeper). How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband. Also, is there a good website or program for women and weight lifting?
http://www.acsm.org/about-acsm/media-room/news-releases/2011/08/01/acsm-issues-new-recommendations-on-quantity-and-quality-of-exercise
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Get her the book Lift to get lean by Holly Perkins. I was on the fence to start lifting and my husband bought me it. She explains why lifting isn't just for men and doesn't mean that you'll get all big like a man. Also talks about changes to make in your diet and explains proper use of the machines. Plus it also has lifting plans in it that range from beginner to expert. It's a great book.0
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jennifer_417 wrote: »Cardio vs strength training don't have that much to do with losing weight. Only a calorie deficit will create a weight loss.
True statement - if you just care about the weight - If you lift moderately heavy (what ever is heavy for you) you are going to keep muscle while loosing fat. The weight? who knows - you will probably have a smaller waist . Better looking (and stronger) arms and legs, and a better appetite - Eastcoast Jim
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