How to diet when your SO is not???

I share all my meals with my lean OH (unless I want to eat something he doesn't like, then I cook 2 different meals, but it's very rare) and simply give him bigger portions/supplement my smaller ones with salad. That's the only real trick. He has a very high metabolism and eats treats every day otherwise he loses weight. That's the hardest for me. I try to have fruit instead, of low fat treats.

Ugh - this one was a bit hard for me. My husband wasn't on board for the longest time...something like 6 months before he started trying to log food intake, etc.

There were things I had to do like make my own "snack box" with protein bars, and portioned out pretzels, etc. and put it where I wouldn't catch sight of things he liked but weren't food journal friendly for me.

I also had to make the decision that I was doing this whether the SO was doing it or not. I told him of the things I needed him to "hide" from me so I wouldn't be tempted....and would rather not even know it was in the house.

It took about 7 months and I had lost at least 50 pounds before he started logging his food and increasing his activity. He said he couldn't believe that what he was having that he "thought" was reasonably healthy and it SO was not healthy at all.

My husband is on the skinner side....could use to lose about 20 pounds (maybe). I remember there were nights when my food journal was "full" and didn't feel like I could have popcorn and he really wanted it. Sometimes I said I really couldn't have it, and moped about it. Other times I just gave in and had it anyway. It's taken a long time, but I'm now to the point where I don't care if he has it or not. I'm going to have something with more protein. Right now that just "sounds" better to me.

Once I started looking at a "protein first" point of view - it has helped me a lot.

Pretty much what others have said. I do most of the cooking, except weekends when we might just have a "do your own thing" night, lol. But even though I don't eat much of things like rice or potatoes I do cook them, and he eats that and I eat the meat and vegetables and a few potatoes or a small portion of rice. We don't do desserts much although he has a favorite Portuguese cake thing that he buys for himself and has on the weekends. I'm not tempted by that because it's not chocolate. I mean, why eat cake if it's not chocolate?? lol

When I make a big salad I put all the veggies in it and then set out cheese, beans, nuts, and tomatoes (I don't add the tomatoes because it makes the lettuce soggy). I might add some beans to mine and my husband adds everything to his.

We do eat pizza but it's usually never unplanned so I take that into account when I plan my breakfast and lunch on pizza days... I might have just an egg white omelet with veggies for breakfast, and a salad for lunch, and make sure to take a good walk that day, then I have a lot of calories left for pizza.

My husband makes us a gin and tonic every evening in the summer. He makes his with regular tonic and mine with diet tonic.

Those are some of the things we do so that I can stick to my calories. I have to say though that when I mentioned to him the "diet" advice of half your plate with veggies, and the other half for everything else he started doing that too. lol. Not sure he's lost weight (he doesn't really need to lose much) but he's eating healthier.

I struggled with this a lot when I was on a very strict 12 week cut, adhering to specified foods and portions with 100% compliance. My husband did NOT join me on the plan, and in fact complained at times that "eating with you is no fun anymore" because I had to take tupperware with me when we went out, or only ordered salads without dressing.

Living with a SO who isn't eating what you're eating, or who doesn't really support you in your dieting strategy can be a hurdle, but it's not going to stop you unless you let it. Tell the SO what your needs are, ask for their support, but know it's really got to come from within you, and you CAN do it on your own.

As far as shared activities where snacking might be involved . . . I find ways to keep my hands busy. When we watch shows or movies together, I'm typically knitting or sewing or involved in some sort of project that doesn't mix well with casual munching. (Who wants chip powder on their yarn?) My boyfriend will also keep his snacks out of my easy reach or eyesight if asked. (For example: If I'm sitting on his left, the snacks are on his right, blocked from view by his body.)

My husband is twice my weight. He's also 9 inches taller and very different builds. We only eat our evening meal together as he's out at work before I have breakfast with the kids. This is part of the reason that I save about half my calories for my evening meal and evening snacks. I don't mind light breakfast and lunch but need to have a big filling (but healthy) tea.

Also - exercise is key. So important.

I'm not dieting though. I'm just noting everything I eat and adjusting portions so I'm not pigging out on left over pasta or snacking on crazy stuff like bowls of cereal. Or having a mug of tea in the evening rather than half a bottle of wine.

You can still eat pizza. You can still eat that triple chocolate thing.

Here's what I do - I make myself a hot cup of herbal tea and slowly sip on it while watching tv so I feel like I'm "eating"/"consuming" something without any added calories. Or keep low calorie popcorn available that you can pop and eat when he's junking away.

My SO and I are in a very similar situation to you by the sounds of things. We've been living together in our own place for 6 months now, 4 of which I've been using MFP. He is also considered slightly underweight and struggles to gain. I just buy different things and it doesn't bother me. My choices are my choices; I don't inflict my low calorie diet on him because he's not the one that's overweight. We do share some snacks- things like popcorn is good as its relatively low cal and easy to snack on- but I'll weigh my portion out and give him the rest of the sharing bag.

Most other times we tend to have our own snacks, his higher and mine lower cal (or smaller portion sizes). We even have separate bread/cheese/mayo each as mine is low cal and his is 'normal', just because of preference haha.

Things like meals- I make alterations for each of us. Sometimes we'll eat the same things in the same portion sizes, sometimes we'll eat the same things and I'll have a smaller portion, and sometimes I'll make something (say grilled chicken) and I'll have a mix of veg with it, while my SO will have gravy, chips, beans etc alongside it to bump up the cals a little

My husband and I are not on the same game plan. He can have all the junk food he wants he actually has his own cupboard. He no longer tries to sabotage my dieting. It's a give and take and after a while the foods that tempt you won't be as appealing.

Luckily my SO is also athletic and health-conscious (more so than me at times), and we go through phases of eating well at night or not-so-well. But what makes it work to some extent is that I don't eat a lot during the day (a bar for breakfast and salad for lunch) while he eats a more typical sandwichy-type lunch and drinks sweet tea and things like that (not to excess, but I rarely drink them). I find that saving most of my calories for dinner is what works for me. If I was on really short rations at night as a rule I think that would be hard (alone or with him).

Even if I cook, I just weigh/measure out my portion and he has what he wants. I find that doing "components" works well (we do a lot of chicken/rice/shredded LF cheese/avocado/salsa -- things like that) because I can measure out what I can manage on that particular night.