Why is losing weight so effortless for some and so difficult for others?
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kommodevaran wrote: »snowflake930 wrote: »Sandra37405 wrote: »Because life isn't fair.TheopolisAmbroiseIII wrote: »If losing weight and eating right is so easy for you, how did you get to the point of needing to lose weight in the first place?
People are all different. What is easy for you is difficult for someone else. It doesn't matter what the issue is. I don't understand why that is hard for you to understand OP.
It may be because I have Asperger's and thus a lack of empathy. I know I have trouble with imagination and seeing things from other people's views. I don't understand myself sometimes either. I struggle with other issues, but weight is so easy. I just want to grasp the "why".
I was actually wondering whether you were on the spectrum. I wasn't going to ask because that would be rude. But this makes total sense now. There isn't one single answer as to "why" - it will be different for each individual. There are many complexities and shades of grey. You may just need to reconcile that some of the issues you struggle with are a breeze for others, and weight loss was simple for you but for others it is a struggle.0 -
The "why" can be very simple, or very complex. For some it truly is mentally & physically more difficult (usually mentally) but I also think many people make it far more difficult than it needs to be.0
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Most people go straight to trying to lose 2 pounds a week. OF COURSE it's going to be hard.
I never did that. MFP said the recommended loss was 1 pound a week, so I went with that, and my goal was never under 1650 calories (factoring exercise).
Easier also for taller people because portion sizes don't accommodate short people - for example if one day you have two slices of bread, a slice of cheese, two eggs, an apple.. they're pretty much all one size and will be more of your calories if you're small than if you're tall. I mean, sure, you're smaller, so probably less hungry overall, but that extra cookie you really want will do more damage on a 5 foot person than a 6 foot one...
Then there's hormones. Goddamn hormones.0 -
Some people are ready to totally own their responsibility for weight loss or gain
I think that's the key right there. Once you get to that point, nothing can stop you. It became (I won't say easy) much less of a challenge for me when my mind clicked into that state and I realized that I am completely in control of my weight and overall health and that my decisions alone would determine the outcome.0 -
oh_happy_day wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »snowflake930 wrote: »Sandra37405 wrote: »Because life isn't fair.TheopolisAmbroiseIII wrote: »If losing weight and eating right is so easy for you, how did you get to the point of needing to lose weight in the first place?
People are all different. What is easy for you is difficult for someone else. It doesn't matter what the issue is. I don't understand why that is hard for you to understand OP.
It may be because I have Asperger's and thus a lack of empathy. I know I have trouble with imagination and seeing things from other people's views. I don't understand myself sometimes either. I struggle with other issues, but weight is so easy. I just want to grasp the "why".
I was actually wondering whether you were on the spectrum. I wasn't going to ask because that would be rude. But this makes total sense now. There isn't one single answer as to "why" - it will be different for each individual. There are many complexities and shades of grey. You may just need to reconcile that some of the issues you struggle with are a breeze for others, and weight loss was simple for you but for others it is a struggle.
Yes - and I noticed you also mentioned empathy. It actually makes me sad (not your question, but every time I'm reminded that I could need some). You are right. I have to find peace with that we are all differnt and have different challenges in our lives, and that I can't understand everything.
Some of my threads in here have been closed, and I understand that it sometimes looks like I try to be a besserwisser. That is not my intention. I have often trouble finding the right words. In addition to that, English is not my primary language. (Grr, I hate this. Don't want to come across as a pity party goer either.)0 -
kommodevaran wrote:I've seen both - having much to lose is easier because your body burns more and you have more wiggle room; having less to lose is easier because your habits don't need to be changed so drastically.
Not necessarily. I was making all the "bad choices" and doing all the "bad habits" that would one day lead me to being severely overweight if I didn't change anything. I was just lucky to stop and change my lifestyle before my body started burning less calories (due to ageing) being alive. I would get people telling me they were jealous that I could eat whatever I want and not be 300kg. That wasn't the case, I just wasn't 300kg yet.
So while yes, often it is a case of habits not being changed so drastically, but not always.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »
Regardless of how small I am or how active i've been - I still want to eat just as much as someone who has a calorie budget twice as big as mine. I just know I can't without eventually gaining. Just because I maintain on X calories, doesn't mean I can eat what I want and be satisfied without moderation on X calories.
I used to think that way too and would eat like the biggest guy in the room. When I finally understood the point with portions, I understood that I don't need that much food, and I learnt to recognise the feeling of "fullness". That is not the same as "stuffed".
I know I can't eat as much as other people because I am older and short AND I DONT eat "like the biggest guy in the room" but that does not mean that I sometimes would like to be able to eat a little more and still be in a good deficit...its not going to happen though. I also recognise the feeling of "fullness" which is not the same as being "stuffed"...........I'm sure other people do too!!!!0 -
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PinkPixiexox wrote: »People are very fond of the "It's simple - CICO" answer in regards to weight loss - and that's exactly how to do it - but there are many who struggle, and that's totally okay too. There is little room for sympathy on the message boards in regards to 'I'm finding this really hard' and it's a shame because everyone has a different story.
Case in point? My mum. She has been up and down weight-wise all her life. There was a time where she was at a very healthy weight and feeling fabulous - she knows all too well HOW this is done. Now? She is around 100 LBS overweight. She knows HOW to lose weight and many would question 'Well why hasn't she?'. Her mother recently passed away and her father is suffering from dementia - she is his full time carer and is slowly having to watch him fade away. She is a single mother to a 12 year old girl and she struggles to pay her rent. She also suffers from depression on top of everything else. So yes, it is simple - CICO, but my mum struggles to focus on weight loss for absolute obvious reasons. She just can't commit to any plan despite knowing how because she just has too much mentally going on in her life to spend her time calorie counting and meal prepping. And I would never, ever hold it against her.
Some people struggle with it - that's just the way it is. And I would never, ever judge someone for that. Others find it easier to mentally 'get in the zone' so to speak. We ALL need a little boost every now and again, that's a fact
I disagree with this, but not in the way you think. I do think there is a lot of sympathy and compassion for the folks who find it hard, even from the tough love crowd.
I can feel for your mom's situation. I know all too well about not doing what you know works...because you just don't have the ability. I conveyed a very similar message in the "I Give Up" thread.
However, I also think it is helpful and compassionate to say that when you are ready, the simpler you make it...the easier it can and will be.
This is my opinion too - I'm just not able to communicate it tactfully.0 -
I've seen both - having much to lose is easier because your body burns more and you have more wiggle room; having less to lose is easier because your habits don't need to be changed so drastically.
Not necessarily. I was making all the "bad choices" and doing all the "bad habits" that would one day lead me to being severely overweight if I didn't change anything. I was just lucky to stop and change my lifestyle before my body started burning less calories (due to ageing) being alive. I would get people telling me they were jealous that I could eat whatever I want and not be 300kg. That wasn't the case, I just wasn't 300kg yet.
So while yes, often it is a case of habits not being changed so drastically, but not always.
I don't know where your quoting went wrong but I didn't write that.0 -
It took me almost ten years after deciding to lose weight to learn all the things I needed to learn about nutrition in order to be successful. But once I finally figured out the lifestyle and equation that worked for me, it did look easy and simple from the outside. But it has been a long difficult journey for me. Thankfully I started young, and before I was very overweight, so it had been easier than some experience.0
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I thought it was pretty easy when I started(weighing 265) and could eat 1900 calories a day and still lose two pounds a week. Now that I have less calories to eat,it's becoming increasingly more difficult. Not impossible,but not much room for error.0
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Why is drawing so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is singing so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is hitting a baseball so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is calculus so effortless for some and so difficult for others?
People are different.0 -
I've seen both - having much to lose is easier because your body burns more and you have more wiggle room; having less to lose is easier because your habits don't need to be changed so drastically.
Not necessarily. I was making all the "bad choices" and doing all the "bad habits" that would one day lead me to being severely overweight if I didn't change anything. I was just lucky to stop and change my lifestyle before my body started burning less calories (due to ageing) being alive. I would get people telling me they were jealous that I could eat whatever I want and not be 300kg. That wasn't the case, I just wasn't 300kg yet.
So while yes, often it is a case of habits not being changed so drastically, but not always.
I don't know where your quoting went wrong but I didn't write that.
No... you didn't. That was weird. I've fixed that now.0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »Why is drawing so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is singing so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is hitting a baseball so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is calculus so effortless for some and so difficult for others?
People are different.
Yup. Losing weight is learning something, then applying it. Like pretty much anything people learn, some learn it faster, some learn it in different ways, some are better at applying it, some struggle to learn it, and so on. People are different, in a myriad of ways.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
Portions in restaurants and shops don't reflect the size and activity level, so more restraint is required if it's necessary to eat at 1200 than 1500 etc. Societal / social pressure to partake in the office pizza or cupcake is proportionally worse for those with lower calorie needs.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »snowflake930 wrote: »Sandra37405 wrote: »Because life isn't fair.TheopolisAmbroiseIII wrote: »If losing weight and eating right is so easy for you, how did you get to the point of needing to lose weight in the first place?
People are all different. What is easy for you is difficult for someone else. It doesn't matter what the issue is. I don't understand why that is hard for you to understand OP.
It may be because I have Asperger's and thus a lack of empathy. I know I have trouble with imagination and seeing things from other people's views. I don't understand myself sometimes either. I struggle with other issues, but weight is so easy. I just want to grasp the "why".
It might have been helpful if you had said that up front.
Having said that, the concept fo weight loss is the same for everyone. But mentally, everyone is different. I've been at this almost 3 years, and it's been hard. The. Whole. Time. I've had to deal with a lot of mental/emotional issues along the way. It's not like that for everyone. For some, it is a matter of making simple adjustments. But for a lot of people, a lot of mental/emotional baggage is tied up into the process.0 -
I think the concept is simple, but the mental aspect of weight loss (or weight gain for that matter) is the hard part.
This.
I've lost a bunch of weight twice, and found it pretty easy each time. (I worked hard while doing it, as I tend to find I enjoy losing more if I make it about exercise and fitness, but it didn't really feel hard -- I mostly enjoyed it and didn't feel like it was drudgery I was doing to lose.) Same for the 5 year period I maintained after the first loss, before regaining.
However, both times I just managed to get to a place where I was extremely motivated and really cared about losing the weight. I've tried at other times and not been into it and not stuck to it (including of course when I regained.) The difference for me is that I just shrugged and said "I'll do it later" so while not a great attitude I didn't have the perception that weight loss was hard but that I wasn't really doing weight loss, that I wasn't ready.
I think a lot of people try when the motivation isn't there, and that makes a difference. You can't force yourself to care enough and being unhappy with your body isn't really sufficient to say you really care, care enough to make the sacrifices and do what's needed and change your lifestyle that you might be attached to. You have to be ready.
Of course, you can't just rely on motivation, so the trick is using the initial motivation when it comes to work on sustainable habits that won't require motivation. Right now, for me, exercise isn't about being motivated, as it's so much of my lifestyle. My basic eating habits are now my default -- my reasonable calorie, tasty, healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. Where I have a tendency to start slipping up again (or first) is the snacking or stress eating stuff, so I need to stay vigilant about that or at least watch it and recommit if I start overdoing and the scale shows it. (I mention this because I'm quite close to goal and finding it easy enough to maintain, but impossible to lose. I know it's not -- I know I'm not losing because I'm not committed to doing so and am not logging well (not logging at all currently) -- but those were things that were largely effortless to me at a different stage of the loss, because I was so motivated.)0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »Why is drawing so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is singing so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is hitting a baseball so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is calculus so effortless for some and so difficult for others?
People are different.
I understand that I have to accept this. But for drawing, singing and hitting baseballs you need innate talent and motor skills - a steady hand, a good voice, good vision. Counting calories and not buying stuff you tend to gorge on if it lays around, isn't that something one can decide to do and then do?0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
Portions in restaurants and shops don't reflect the size and activity level, so more restraint is required if it's necessary to eat at 1200 than 1500 etc. Societal / social pressure to partake in the office pizza or cupcake is proportionally worse for those with lower calorie needs.
I've come to realise this. It helps to hear it again. Thank you.
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princessbride42 wrote: »It took me almost ten years after deciding to lose weight to learn all the things I needed to learn about nutrition in order to be successful. But once I finally figured out the lifestyle and equation that worked for me, it did look easy and simple from the outside. But it has been a long difficult journey for me. Thankfully I started young, and before I was very overweight, so it had been easier than some experience.
I struggled with my weight for a long time too. I knew I had to eat fewer calories than I burned, and I knew a lot about nutrition, but I had missed the small type. I need more fat and taste than usual diets provide, but I can't eat food that taste too much either. I would exercise and suddenly something made it impossible to continue. I had to find the balance in my everyday life. I hope I don't lose that balance.0 -
It is. That's why everyone can lose weight but not everyone can hit a major league curveball. Even so, the ability and desire to lose the weight still fall on a continuum.kommodevaran wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »Why is drawing so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is singing so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is hitting a baseball so effortless for some and so difficult for others? Why is calculus so effortless for some and so difficult for others?
People are different.
I understand that I have to accept this. But for drawing, singing and hitting baseballs you need innate talent and motor skills - a steady hand, a good voice, good vision. Counting calories and not buying stuff you tend to gorge on if it lays around, isn't that something one can decide to do and then do?
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honkytonks85 wrote: »People who are shorter and lighter have fewer calories to work with. If you are 5'3 and weigh 65kg unfortunately you need to cut calories pretty much down to 1200 calories to create a reasonable deficit and be super accurate with your logging.
Not always true. Many women workout hard to be able to eat more. This thread isn't specifically about short women, but several are peppered through the responses:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/506349/women-who-eat-more-than-1800-calories-a-day/0 -
I dont know if this is ok to ask, but I am currently 165 pounds and I would like to lose around 35-40 pounds in 3 months. I usually record my log- in's on myfitnesspal, and it says in 5 weeks I will lose 15-16 lbs. if I were to eat 1,100 calories per day. But I dont know how accurate that is. Can someone provide advice on what I can do to shed this weight off and keep it off?0
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kommodevaran wrote: »
Portions in restaurants and shops don't reflect the size and activity level, so more restraint is required if it's necessary to eat at 1200 than 1500 etc. Societal / social pressure to partake in the office pizza or cupcake is proportionally worse for those with lower calorie needs.
Oh this, so much. Restaurants are frustrating, when even the entrees and salads can blow your limit unless you've exercised heaps.0 -
honkytonks85 wrote: »People who are shorter and lighter have fewer calories to work with. If you are 5'3 and weigh 65kg unfortunately you need to cut calories pretty much down to 1200 calories to create a reasonable deficit and be super accurate with your logging.
Not always true. Many women workout hard to be able to eat more. This thread isn't specifically about short women, but several are peppered through the responses:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/506349/women-who-eat-more-than-1800-calories-a-day/
Yes -- I'm 5'3 and about 57 kg, if my math is right (125), and sure, if I'm mostly sedentary I have to eat around 1600 to maintain (even assuming I walk some) and so 1200 would be about right to lose. I've generally lost on 1600 or more, though, since I exercise a bunch.
Luckily for me then and annoying now, I found it LOTS easier to eat 1200 when I first started and was way overweight (and losing 2-3 lb/week and felt newly great) than I do to stick to 1600 now.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
I struggled with my weight for a long time too. I knew I had to eat fewer calories than I burned, and I knew a lot about nutrition, but I had missed the small type. I need more fat and taste than usual diets provide, but I can't eat food that taste too much either. I would exercise and suddenly something made it impossible to continue. I had to find the balance in my everyday life. I hope I don't lose that balance.
Yes, the long term part of this means that I've had to decide what things I can give up forever, what things I have to learn to eat in moderation, and I also had to learn that I will most likely have to be consciously thinking about maintaining my weight for my whole life. I will probably never be able to trust my instincts because they don't work right.0 -
Some people have medical reasons why it's difficult. Thyroid disorders, medication that causes weight gain etc. Apart from that, there's quite a bit about nutrition that people don't understand. The whole "I hate egg whites and salad" approach is sadly the common thing I hear. There's also so many things about fitness that are also misunderstood. The main one "I don't want to get bulky" with regard to lifting weights and the whole infatuation with cardio. I'm always trying to learn new things about fitness and nutrition. I read magazines and blogs etc. It's intriguing to me.0
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honkytonks85 wrote: »People who are shorter and lighter have fewer calories to work with. If you are 5'3 and weigh 65kg unfortunately you need to cut calories pretty much down to 1200 calories to create a reasonable deficit and be super accurate with your logging.
Not always true. Many women workout hard to be able to eat more. This thread isn't specifically about short women, but several are peppered through the responses:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/506349/women-who-eat-more-than-1800-calories-a-day/
Yeah but it will still be harder on the petite woman to have that extra cupcake than for the 6 foot man, if both exercise the same.
I exercise a lot to be able to eat more, and I can't imagine doing much more, to be honest, so I wouldn't expect a smaller woman to do that either just so she can eat as much as I do...princessbride42 wrote: »It took me almost ten years after deciding to lose weight to learn all the things I needed to learn about nutrition in order to be successful. But once I finally figured out the lifestyle and equation that worked for me, it did look easy and simple from the outside. But it has been a long difficult journey for me. Thankfully I started young, and before I was very overweight, so it had been easier than some experience.
Yep. Actually 15 years for me to be mentally ready to do the change and to want it enough to be successful. And it WAS easy, much easier than I thought it would be, but only because I was determined.
Notice the past tense though. I've been maintaining for a year and it's been really hard. My appetite has skyrocketed since I got close to my goal weight. I go to bed hungry half the time, and that's on maintenance calories. So I'd add that people's satiety signals and hormones DEFINITELY have something to do with it too... Those people who are 'so full on 1200 calories' will probably have a easier time losing than people who still go to bed hungry on 1600, even with a similar diet.0 -
I have found it both easy and hard and I think a lot of what makes it one way or another is my mindset. When I am really engaged in losing, and I have had a small amount of success, it is really easy. Right now I am at a place where it is hard. I am finding myself indulging more often and just not caring as much so I am struggling a bit to maintain an even keel. My successes are further apart and my loss has slowed to a crawl. I need to find something that will get me engaged in it again.0
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