What do you say to those that arent encouraging?

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AngieM76
AngieM76 Posts: 622 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I just started this journey yesterday and my fiance looks at me and says "I give you a week and you will be done with it". I was offended and not happy with that comment. I need all the support and encouragement I can get especially from him. I didnt know what to say to him so I just said "ok whatever you say"
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Replies

  • cillytilly
    cillytilly Posts: 243
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    It is hard when those around you are not encouraging. They do not understand that this journey is about you and bettering yourself. My intial reaction to that is I will show you!!! I know that is immature but I would use that as your inspiration to continue doing it. If you need an encourager all of us are out here and willing to be your cheerleaders.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,344 Member
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    You are gonna get a lot of comments on this haha we don't like unsupportive people. I would be double determined and keep it up then you can have the pleasure of rubbing it in his face. I would even add that to your profile on your list of goals.
  • AHealthierRhonda
    AHealthierRhonda Posts: 881 Member
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    OUCH! Well, for me those would have been fighting words, but hey! that's me!
    I guess I wouldn't say anything really and just show them that you are serious and can do it!!!! Hopefully those people will begin to see the new you and change their tunes. If they don't, well, for me, it would be buh bye......
  • getmehealthy
    getmehealthy Posts: 19
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    wow - don't listen to your fiance! If he won't support you getting healthier you need to look elsewhere. Start with yourself, family, friends and here of course. Please don't let him drag you down. Does his opinion really matter to you about your health? Good luck - you can do it - one day at a time!!
  • Amanda993
    Amanda993 Posts: 51
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    It hurts to hear things like that expecially from your fiance :( Just stick with MFP and you WILL see results, and he will feel bad for not supporting you in the first place. Friend me if you like and I will encourage you!
  • Lshizz
    Lshizz Posts: 44 Member
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    First of all, that sucks. But some people don't get it and they never will. I think the best thing in those circumstances is to zip it....say nothing. Prove him wrong with your results! If you're serious, then in no time, you're going to start feeling and looking better and he's gonna see that and think to himself, "Man, I was wrong." Nothing feels better than doing this for you, but it feels damn good when you can prove someone wrong along the way :)
  • Bead_Maker
    Bead_Maker Posts: 6 Member
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    Sounds like a jerk moment, hopefully he's not always like that and will be more encouraging once you're farther along and he realizes you're serious....

    one hopes he'll appreciate you getting sexier too! ;-)
  • meshellmybell76
    meshellmybell76 Posts: 139 Member
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    I certainly hope he is not this unsupportive in other areas in your life :( Not the best quality in someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
  • CatchThatKitten
    CatchThatKitten Posts: 47
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    You don't HAVE to say anything....while it was crappy of him to be mean like that, the best thing you can do is ignore him, then prove him wrong HARDCORE. You can do it!!
  • Bgriff1974
    Bgriff1974 Posts: 12 Member
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    Honestly It is easier if he supports you however your doing it for you and not for him or anyone else or it is very difficult to stick with it anyways. Do it for yourself.. Let the results be your encouragement.. And all of us here as well...

    He will see it and come around.. Just dont let it get you discouraged.. Do it consistantly, stay focused and enjoy the results!

    (then IN HIS FACE!!!)

    :)
  • blueocean52811
    blueocean52811 Posts: 83 Member
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    I know for me it just gives me more power when they say things like that now. It would bother me before, but now I know I can do it, if I want to and I think that is the key you have to want to make the change. I would also let him know that it bothered you that he was not being kind to you and that you would like his help in this journey. Just stay positive and we are are all here for you!!! You can add me if you want some support. Best of lcuk!!!
  • freerange
    freerange Posts: 1,722 Member
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    F$%K off? Is what I say to those kind of people.
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
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    Look at him and say "Thanks so much for your support. I knew I could count on you."
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
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    To me, it sounds like a challenge. Sometimes, if I challenge myself, I fail. However, if someone else challenges me, I excel to incredible lengths. So, not only should you make him eat his words, challenge him back. Or pull the ever so fun - "Ok, if I can stay committed (you can prove my printing out your food reports/exercise reports) and reach my goal, (insert what you want here...maybe he treats you to a spa day). If I give in and dont manage, I (insert what you'll do)"

    It sounds silly, but it works like a charm every time.
  • MaryKatU
    MaryKatU Posts: 146
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    You have to do this for yourself, no one else, or it won't work. Prove him wrong!
  • millermichellelea
    millermichellelea Posts: 226
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    I just started this journey yesterday and my fiance looks at me and says "I give you a week and you will be done with it". I was offended and not happy with that comment. I need all the support and encouragement I can get especially from him. I didnt know what to say to him so I just said "ok whatever you say"

    Use it to make you more determined - my husband was like that --- Now all he says is "wow, look at you in that outfit," and "oh, heck no you are not wearing that outside this house." ~~~~ it sure changed his tune. I took the lack of his faith and used it to help me stick with it - he made me more determined to succeed.

    You will do it!!!!! Don't make him right, make him realize just how amazing you are when you set your mind to it!!!!!! :drinker:
  • electricnarwhal
    electricnarwhal Posts: 95
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    Just stick with it and get healthy for yourself! I'm sure he'll grow to appreciate all of your hard work you have done, and it will show him that you can do anything... Despite him being unsupportive with it. Find support elsewhere, like with friends and family and MFP is a good place for that, too. :) I wish you the best of luck! Stay strong girl!:flowerforyou: We're all here for you.
  • davidcookfan
    davidcookfan Posts: 37 Member
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    i would just keep going and prove him wrong. I used to have a BF like that. HE was not supported when i joined weight watchers he laughed at me too. So i lost 15 pounds to prove him wrong. After i was done with WW i put back on the weight plus more : ( but then when we ened things i lost 40pounds. If your heart is into losing weight and feeling good about yourself then keep doing what you are doing. Don't give up!!!!!
  • ami789
    ami789 Posts: 47
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    Use it to prove him wrong. Every time you don't feel like doing it..just remember what he said, get angry and show him, yourself and everyone else that you can.

    It's great fuel for your workouts too!
    People don't like change, especially if they are not familiar with it. But you do what is right for you. You know what you want and need. He may come around or even want to start changing after watching what your doing. You may be surprised.
    Don't let it get you down. Be strong and you will reach your goals one day at a time.
  • MsAngelJ
    MsAngelJ Posts: 3 Member
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    That was pretty harsh..what really gets me is when they say, "oh that's great your trying to get in shape and eat right, here eat half of this pie with me!" Then they get offended if you don't. Getting in shape is so hard, especially when one is used to eating whatever they want and not exercising when they should. That's the case for me anyway. I've decided that I need to do this for me, and even though I will and have failed at times, its not their body its mine. They can say and do what they want. I will succeed in time, and you will to. Put the negativity out of your mind and focus on your goal, but remember changing your life style takes time. It won't happen over night, so don't get frustrated when it doesn't. Just keep on going and when you are sucessful chances are others will be saying I want to be healthy too!! :)

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