my family don't understand my lifestyle.

Options
diyadiamonds
diyadiamonds Posts: 74 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I'm on maintenance calories ATM slowly transitioning into a cut. I don't live with my family So the whole week I follow a strict diet, however on the weekends my life literally turns into a living nightmare. I avoid going round my mums the whole week ( I can blame it on work etc) however when it comes to the weekends I have no excuse. From when I get in the pressure to eat what they do is so full on, sometimes I'll pack my own lunch to bring round and my mum turns her nose up at me for that.. She gets really mad at me when I try to say no to food she offers me, therefore weekends I end up eating things I shouldn't be due to feeling bad seeing as my mum only sees me once a week.my family don't eat healthy and I have tried to explain why I eat the way I do, what my goals are etc BUT they just DONT GET IT. My mum just thinks its a massive insult to her if I don't eat her meals, but they don't understand how much it effects me!



I'm so sick of it. Any suggestions to how I can tackle this? Can anyone relate to me at all...
«1

Replies

  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
    Options
    You don't have to eat what you don't want to. I just keep telling my mum no thank you till she gets fed up
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    Options
    Yes. I bring my food my mom get used to it. She say oh you eat too much but now months later she interested in what I eat even tho she makes rude comments at times. She says now im looking good! That is major for her. She even now if we go out will jelp me find the healthier meal. In time they get used to it but u have to stick to it and say no thanks mom or eat a half portion or own foods.
  • Ashtoretet
    Ashtoretet Posts: 378 Member
    Options
    Really this is a family dynamics issue more than it is a food issue. I think you should find some other way to make her feel special or needed so that she'll stop focusing on food.
  • slyzxx
    slyzxx Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    You can sit your mom down and explain, show her exactly. Cause she might be offended she worked so hard to cook etc.
  • diyadiamonds
    diyadiamonds Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    I have tried to explain to her, sat her down and all. She doesn't understand why I need to eat healthy, she knows I'm doing it to look a certain way but she still thinks the food she makes is healthy when its not.
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,388 Member
    Options
    therealdiamondss wrote: »
    I have tried to explain to her, sat her down and all. She doesn't understand why I need to eat healthy, she knows I'm doing it to look a certain way but she still thinks the food she makes is healthy when its not.

    You can't just eat smaller portions of it? Or see her when it's not a meal time?
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
    Options
    therealdiamondss wrote: »
    I have tried to explain to her, sat her down and all. She doesn't understand why I need to eat healthy, she knows I'm doing it to look a certain way but she still thinks the food she makes is healthy when its not.

    Meaning too much butter? Sauces? What is making it so unhealthy? Can you just eat a small portion and bring yourself a big salad? I hate to say it but, any chance that you are being overly restrictive?

  • happygalah
    happygalah Posts: 343 Member
    Options
    Just ignore it. You have to live your life. I don't think it is even about being restrictive. So much of the garbage I used to eat, tastes terrible and I don't even like it anymore.
  • diyadiamonds
    diyadiamonds Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    happygalah wrote: »
    Just ignore it. You have to live your life. I don't think it is even about being restrictive. So much of the garbage I used to eat, tastes terrible and I don't even like it anymore.
    Exactly, I actually feel the side effect of eating junk within a few hours, I get sluggish and drowsy and depressed. I am a control freak (not towards other but with myself) and I get really frustrated when I have to do things out of routine. My mum makes me feel bad about not eating her meals as I only see her on the weekends.. Which is why I end up eating it
  • FatMoojor
    FatMoojor Posts: 483 Member
    Options
    You have a few options.
    1. Eat what she has made, but eat a much smaller portion
    2. Take your own food and suck up the comments
    3. Tell your mum that is she doesn't stop making an issue over this then you will just stop coming around
    4. Just don't eat anything while you are there.
  • maasha81
    maasha81 Posts: 733 Member
    Options
    What exactly is unhealthy about her food? I usually bring a healthy dish to share with everyone and just have a tiny portion of what they cook. It works for me and they usually enjoy my dish as well.
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
    Options
    Well without knowing what she cooks, its hard to know but its sounds like its you who are being unreasonable. I mean it won't kill you to eat her food. Or even if you put on a tiny amount of weight from eating some of it, how is that doing to cause you any harm. Its that you don't want to eat her food for your own private reasons. You ahve a right not to eat her food but I think you should be compromising because i can't see how eating her food can be that bad but your refusing to her eat food could easily be seen as insulting. In fact it is insulting as you reckon its not good. I think you are probably being selfish.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
    Options
    Patttience wrote: »
    Well without knowing what she cooks, its hard to know but its sounds like its you who are being unreasonable. I mean it won't kill you to eat her food. Or even if you put on a tiny amount of weight from eating some of it, how is that doing to cause you any harm. Its that you don't want to eat her food for your own private reasons. You ahve a right not to eat her food but I think you should be compromising because i can't see how eating her food can be that bad but your refusing to her eat food could easily be seen as insulting. In fact it is insulting as you reckon its not good. I think you are probably being selfish.

    Lord help me,
    OP send this poster to your mums to eat the food instead
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
    Options
    I love my mum to bits, but she loves to feed people. Some how she will always find a way to add food into the conversation. My mum has always been this way and always will be this way, so I have found my ways to cope with it. I say no thank you, no thank you, no thank you. She might not like it but she cant do anything about it. When I fancy some, I dish the portions myself.

    Its not selfish its taking responsibility and control. What I do not think is good is staying away from the house because of it.
  • diyadiamonds
    diyadiamonds Posts: 74 Member
    edited October 2015
    Options
    Patttience wrote: »
    Well without knowing what she cooks, its hard to know but its sounds like its you who are being unreasonable. I mean it won't kill you to eat her food. Or even if you put on a tiny amount of weight from eating some of it, how is that doing to cause you any harm. Its that you don't want to eat her food for your own private reasons. You ahve a right not to eat her food but I think you should be compromising because i can't see how eating her food can be that bad but your refusing to her eat food could easily be seen as insulting. In fact it is insulting as you reckon its not good. I think you are probably being selfish.

    LOL didn't I say I do eat her food?

    I am a control freak (not towards others just towards myself) and when I'm not in routine I get irritated - call it selfish if you want.
  • diyadiamonds
    diyadiamonds Posts: 74 Member
    edited October 2015
    Options
    maasha81 wrote: »
    What exactly is unhealthy about her food? I usually bring a healthy dish to share with everyone and just have a tiny portion of what they cook. It works for me and they usually enjoy my dish as well.

    Cheesy pasta dishes, curries, fried chicken the rest. Weekends are my off days and also low carb days so eating the above seems really stupid to me.
  • diyadiamonds
    diyadiamonds Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    Therealobi1 wrote: »
    I love my mum to bits, but she loves to feed people. Some how she will always find a way to add food into the conversation. My mum has always been this way and always will be this way, so I have found my ways to cope with it. I say no thank you, no thank you, no thank you. She might not like it but she cant do anything about it. When I fancy some, I dish the portions myself.

    Its not selfish its taking responsibility and control. What I do not think is good is staying away from the house because of it.

    That's the thing .. I genuinely love seeing and being around my family, I just can't do with the amount of pressure there is to eat.

  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,388 Member
    Options
    diyadiamonds wrote: »
    Therealobi1 wrote: »
    I love my mum to bits, but she loves to feed people. Some how she will always find a way to add food into the conversation. My mum has always been this way and always will be this way, so I have found my ways to cope with it. I say no thank you, no thank you, no thank you. She might not like it but she cant do anything about it. When I fancy some, I dish the portions myself.

    Its not selfish its taking responsibility and control. What I do not think is good is staying away from the house because of it.

    That's the thing .. I genuinely love seeing and being around my family, I just can't do with the amount of pressure there is to eat.

    Are you there all weekend? Like, the entire day? If you only visit for a few hours, just make it during non meal times. If you're there all day, then Idk girl!!! haha, good luck though!
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    Options
    What, besides the fact it doesn't fit your routine and therefore triggers your "control freak" tendencies, makes what your mother makes "bad"?
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,388 Member
    Options
    brianpperkins wrote: »
    What, besides the fact it doesn't fit your routine and therefore triggers your "control freak" tendencies, makes what your mother makes "bad"?

    She already said that she feels like crap after eating the types of food her mother makes.

    Honestly, if she's set her fitness/health goals and wants to eat a certain way to follow those goals, she shouldn't be made to feel bad by a loved one because of it. Or forced in to doing something she just flat out doesn't want to do (which is eat the foods that her mother is cooking her).

Categories