Hating the attention I'm getting....

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  • tkfunkyfrogg
    tkfunkyfrogg Posts: 58 Member
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    meganridenour wrote: »
    What makes me laugh is when people tell me I've gotten sooo skinny, but according to my BMI I'm pretty sure I'm still considered obese!

    BMI is based on the sedentary individual. The folks at the fire dept that are fit are obese on the chart but are actually ripped and have low body fat %.

    People definitely feel like they have the right to discuss my losing weight and baggy clothes (still need to buy new wardrobe). I use one poster's response by going ad nauseum about all the work until the commenters learn their lesson not to bring it up again. I never know how else to deal with it because if you say thanks, they continue to point it out every time they see you.
  • ogmomma2012
    ogmomma2012 Posts: 1,520 Member
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    I've found many people coming out of the wood work talking about my curves. I have always been a larger lady, but my tummy is smaller and my hips are prominent. I really dig the comments and it's helped me value myself more, so I dress better and really have come into myself and appreciate my body.
  • cnbbnc
    cnbbnc Posts: 1,267 Member
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    Thanks for all the thoughts. I agree that I need to work on coping with this better. I've had a negative body image forever, and I'm trying so hard to get to where I feel good and comfortable with myself. I've made huge changes in my food choices, counting calories/weighing food, joining a gym and working out.... I do look different, and that's an adjustment too. I guess it's my own self hatred that sets me off when anyone comments on my appearance. Need to add that to the list of things to work on....

  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    cnbbnc wrote: »
    Thanks for all the thoughts. I agree that I need to work on coping with this better. I've had a negative body image forever, and I'm trying so hard to get to where I feel good and comfortable with myself. I've made huge changes in my food choices, counting calories/weighing food, joining a gym and working out.... I do look different, and that's an adjustment too. I guess it's my own self hatred that sets me off when anyone comments on my appearance. Need to add that to the list of things to work on....

    It's good to learn to cope better, but don't change too much, or make changes you can't live with.

    Learn to stick to a healthy calorie limit for life by eating the foods you love in moderation.
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
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    You are achieving something most can't obtain, something difficult.

    Is it surprising to get attention?

    But I can understand that some attention is the wrong sort, like recommending you eat more like your not an adult capable of decision making.

    Or some jokes about you disappearing when it's no longer funny.

  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    edited October 2015
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    Why?

    This is why.
  • Montepulciano
    Montepulciano Posts: 845 Member
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    What an amazing and supportive thread. Thanks for asking the question and for all the astute answers.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
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    cnbbnc wrote: »
    Why is that everyone feels the need to start commenting when you lose weight? Every time I lose weight (this isn't my first time at the weight loss rodeo) this is the part I truly detest.

    So far this week my choice of lunch during a meeting was commented on because it was "not enough".
    I've been told I'm disappearing. ???
    That was topped off with a "don't go losing too much." WTF?!?!?!?

    I should be blowing if off, but it really makes me uncomfortable and starts giving me a complex! I don't like attention being drawn to myself and this is making me stand out. I guess it's my issue. Just don't know why people have trouble shutting their mouths.

    Look up MBTI INTJ. I think you're a unicorn like me.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
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    SergeantSausage wrote: »
    Why?

    This is why.

    That's cool, I can think of times I wish I knew this!
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    SergeantSausage wrote: »
    Why?

    This is why.

    I was thinking much the same thing.

    People can be very thoughtless at the best of times, and especially when they feel like they've been bettered by someone.
  • twohourshower37
    twohourshower37 Posts: 37 Member
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    I am personally loving every time someone tells me I've lost weight! Although in the back of my mind I'm like "wow I guess I was a lot bigger than I thought" but all in all it helps me stay motivated knowing that the results are showing! I say embrace it!
  • DaleCannard
    DaleCannard Posts: 11 Member
    edited October 2015
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    It's my favourite part!! , but when I get comments about putting on weight :(
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    • they're used to seeing you look a certain way, and the change is weird for them.
    • most people suck at trying to lose weight, because of all the crap out there. when they see someone succeed, they think it's magic/an illness/something's wrong.
    • some are insecure about their own weight.
  • absoluttalent
    absoluttalent Posts: 40 Member
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    As a guy, I'm sure my experience is a little different. A lot of guys (mostly male shop) comment on my loss. It's mostly the same thing "hey, you look like you've lost for weight". Then a follow up of "what are you doing?"

    Usually I will tell them how I'm not eating like a fatass any more and pimp MFP, sometimes I open with "Chicago meth and Twinkie diet".
    None of their comments and questions are laced with malice or sarcasm, General positive support from everyone.

    Yes, it does get repetitive to the same questions from over 100 people, so yes a little annoying. But I take it in stride, part of the process of being fat most of the time working with the same people,and then being 45 pounds lighter few months later
  • hekla90
    hekla90 Posts: 595 Member
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    I'm am an adult and unless it's my doctor, it's zero % others peoples business. If someone comments about how I look, I just start commenting about their diet and weight and they usually shut right up. People should mind their own business. You're adult so set limits. If people are crossing them it's probably because you aren't setting limits. What you allow is what will continue to happen.
  • VykkDraygoVPR
    VykkDraygoVPR Posts: 465 Member
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    clgaram720 wrote: »
    Look up MBTI INTJ. I think you're a unicorn like me.

    Me too. And I wouldn't have it any other way.



    That said, I struggled with the extra attention when I first started losing weight. The questions didn't bother me too much, but being looked at did. I just had to change my perpsective, and embrace it. So I started wearing flattering clothes. By presenting myself in a different way, it was empowering instead of awkward. Finding out how to do that was personally difficult, but objectively easy.

    Actually, it was quite nice seeing the reactions then, since my efforts had the intended effect.
  • Matt71Fleming
    Matt71Fleming Posts: 68 Member
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    If someone says " you've lost weight"or comments like that I've found telling them back they put on a few pounds and look well usually shuts them up. ;)
  • barbarjarooney
    barbarjarooney Posts: 2 Member
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    cnbbnc wrote: »
    Why is that everyone feels the need to start commenting when you lose weight? Every time I lose weight (this isn't my first time at the weight loss rodeo) this is the part I truly detest.

    So far this week my choice of lunch during a meeting was commented on because it was "not enough".
    I've been told I'm disappearing. ???
    That was topped off with a "don't go losing too much." WTF?!?!?!?

    I should be blowing if off, but it really makes me uncomfortable and starts giving me a complex! I don't like attention being drawn to myself and this is making me stand out. I guess it's my issue. Just don't know why people have trouble shutting their mouths.

    People are jealous. Just be who you are and let it roll off your back. Insecure people will try and break you down. You look wonderful!
  • natboosh69
    natboosh69 Posts: 276 Member
    edited October 2015
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    It's the opposite for me, I eat a chocolate bar and people in work are like 'Ooh thought you were being good'. I feel silly saying 'Actually I logged this Mars Bar 3 days ago', so I just laugh :')

    just ignore comments and do what you're doing :)
  • knelson095
    knelson095 Posts: 254 Member
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    I was telling my amazing aunt about my success so far and my sister walked up and scoffed when she heard what I was talking about. My aunt said, "You know what they say when you lose weight, right? Your friends find them!"

    I guess she didn't think my sister was being very nice, so she basically told her she was looking heavier.... It was glorious. My sis has been a real ***** about me losing weight and she's still in denial about what it would take to actually do it. I love her to death, but she needs to quit being jealous and actually do something about it besides calling attention to my flaws to make herself feel better...

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