Hating the attention I'm getting....

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  • christinasoonmrsnewton
    christinasoonmrsnewton Posts: 22 Member
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    People just talk about anything. It's like when you're pregnant and everyone asks how long you've got left. I am not sure why you are taking offence :) If it wasn't your weight, they'd comment on your new hair colour etc etc. That's just human nature.
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  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    This is so relevant!

    About 5 minutes ago, I was standing in the kitchen at work making a coffee and a colleague stopped for a 'chat'. Of course, the 'chat' was (once again) about how much weight I have lost and how I keep getting smaller and smaller every time she see's me! I've always been fairly shy and self aware so inwardly I was absolutely cringing! Ultimately though, I think people mean well and they are simply trying to pay some kind of compliment.

    When people tell me 'not to go losing too much weight', I tend to think they are hinting that I'm 'just fine as I am' which really, is a nice thing for them to say - if a little familiar! :)
  • allenpriest
    allenpriest Posts: 1,102 Member
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    Go to lunch with a different group.
  • MommyL2015
    MommyL2015 Posts: 1,411 Member
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    Luckily, I work from home and live far away from family. :) So All I really have to deal with is one friend who knows everything there is to know about losing weight, yet fails to lose any and names 1,000 reasons why. (None of which are true.)

    And my mom over the phone, who simply can't lose weight because "insert excuse here," and how easy it is for me because i'm "Young." I'm 44. lol And then she tells me that when I reach menopause, nothing I do will stop the weight from piling on, "You just wait and see, there's nothing you can do! It's just what happens to women." I was so frustrated with her yesterday, I flat out told her that's bull*** and if she thinks it was easy for me, she's just wrong. I worked hard and will continue to work hard at keeping it off! I never bring up the topic of my weight loss to anyone, they always start the conversation but I always seem to end up completely frustrated.

    My husband, on the other hand, can't keep his hands off me, which is a good thing most days, and has been nothing but supportive. :blush:
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    clgaram720 wrote: »
    cnbbnc wrote: »
    Why is that everyone feels the need to start commenting when you lose weight? Every time I lose weight (this isn't my first time at the weight loss rodeo) this is the part I truly detest.

    So far this week my choice of lunch during a meeting was commented on because it was "not enough".
    I've been told I'm disappearing. ???
    That was topped off with a "don't go losing too much." WTF?!?!?!?

    I should be blowing if off, but it really makes me uncomfortable and starts giving me a complex! I don't like attention being drawn to myself and this is making me stand out. I guess it's my issue. Just don't know why people have trouble shutting their mouths.

    Look up MBTI INTJ. I think you're a unicorn like me.

    Another INTJ over here!
  • choppie70
    choppie70 Posts: 544 Member
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    I don't mind the comments. It helps to keep me motivated. I appreciated comments like "you look great, keep it up!" However, I have one coworker who keeps blurting out "Skinny", when I walk by. I am by no means skinny, I am still in the obese range. To me that is just lying (I admit, my OCD may be coming into play here!)
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    I don't mind comments. I don't get that many of them from people other than my close family or friends, who generally say "you look great" or something like that. I've not had one negative comment.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
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    your changing is making people uncomfortable. its their problem not yrs.
  • nyponbell
    nyponbell Posts: 379 Member
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    I hate the attention. When I started drinking protein shakes at work instead of eating the white bread on offer (I work in a school, so that's pretty much the basic snack) more than one person (whom I've never talked about weight loss with, and don't even talk much with in general) asked me if I was on a diet, because they thought it was "diet shakes".

    I dislike the comments, especially as I'm nowhere near my goal weight - I haven't even reached halfway! So commenting on me "getting smaller" or whatever, just reminds me that I've been fat the whole time I've worked there and that the person commenting on it has noticed - it does not motivate me or make me happy. Just the opposite. It makes me self-concious and it's none of their business -- unless I invite the conversation by bringing it up!



  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
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    cnbbnc wrote: »
    Thanks for all the thoughts. I agree that I need to work on coping with this better. I've had a negative body image forever, and I'm trying so hard to get to where I feel good and comfortable with myself. I've made huge changes in my food choices, counting calories/weighing food, joining a gym and working out.... I do look different, and that's an adjustment too. I guess it's my own self hatred that sets me off when anyone comments on my appearance. Need to add that to the list of things to work on....

    I empathize with you. My MIL was so worried about me losing my chubby cheeks when I was bragging to her about losing my double chin and gaining visible collar bones...sigh!
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    I got called "skinny" the other day. I know she means it as a compliment, but even so, it's not true. I'm dead center in the overweight range. I'm not even at a healthy weight or body fat. I'm certainly not "skinny".

    People just have skewed perceptions on what is even healthy anymore.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    It can be annoying. Especially when I'm stuffing my face at parties and get told 'how do you stay so skinny?' (which I'm definitely not) by people I see once or twice a year.

    On the other hand, when you see family members that you haven't seen in months and they don't even acknowledge that you've lost 80 pounds, it kinda stinks too. I wonder if it's because they're convinced that I'll gain the weight back or something... or they still think I'm fat anyway. Who knows.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    It can be annoying. Especially when I'm stuffing my face at parties and get told 'how do you stay so skinny?' (which I'm definitely not) by people I see once or twice a year.

    On the other hand, when you see family members that you haven't seen in months and they don't even acknowledge that you've lost 80 pounds, it kinda stinks too. I wonder if it's because they're convinced that I'll gain the weight back or something... or they still think I'm fat anyway. Who knows.

    ALL of this!

    If i'm eating something quite 'high', I've had comments such as "Where do you PUT it all?!". I just rub my stomach contentedly!

    As for seeing family members and getting absolutely no recognition - I sometimes feel like stripping off hysterically whilst screeching "CAN'T YOU SEE THIS?!". Ah well.
  • ghouli
    ghouli Posts: 207 Member
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    I'm right there with you. I hate when people make those kind of comments about my weight loss. A simple, genuine compliment like an "oh you look good" or something is different than a "wow haha you're disappearing you should eat more"

    It used to bother me a lot more than it does now, mostly because I realized that in MOST cases (in my personal experience anywho) they're saying things like that out of jealousy. Some people just don't want to see others succeed on their journey, which really sucks.

  • yayamom3
    yayamom3 Posts: 939 Member
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    I have a friend who has lost a significant amount of weight. Every time I see her, she is smaller than she was before. I am a little tired of always commenting about her weight loss, but I'm afraid if I don't say something to acknowledge it, then she will think I am jealous or not happy for her (neither of which is true). Opinions on whether I should keep complimenting her or shut my trap?
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
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    yayamom3 wrote:
    Opinions on whether I should keep complimenting her or shut my trap?
    If you think she looks well, say that.
    If you think she looks nice, say that.
    If you like her hairstyle, say that.
    If you like her blouse, say that.
    Just don't link it to her weight.
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
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    Once in a while I'll get the "stop losing weight" comments,
    and usually my response is "thank you for your concern".
    Then change the subject or walk away.

    I'm still about 30 lb over a healthy weight (top end of the green range for BMI).
    So no, I'm not going to stop.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    yayamom3 wrote: »
    I have a friend who has lost a significant amount of weight. Every time I see her, she is smaller than she was before. I am a little tired of always commenting about her weight loss, but I'm afraid if I don't say something to acknowledge it, then she will think I am jealous or not happy for her (neither of which is true). Opinions on whether I should keep complimenting her or shut my trap?

    You don't have to say something every time you see her. Has she actually given you reason to think she'd be offended if you didn't say anything? Regardless, you are under no friendship or moral obligation to comment on her weight/appearance every time you see her.
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
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    I get this a lot. It's irritating as hell. When I was 60lbs overweight, no one said a word. Drop some pounds, they come out of the woodwork commenting about what they think you should eat, when, why...

    "Is it okay for you to be eating that?"
    "You are getting too skinny."
    "You are wasting away."

    Mind you I'm 5'6" and 160 lbs at maintenance. I'm NOT at risk of starving to death.

    There's a woman at work who is a feeder. She would constantly offer me food, and say things like "With all that running you do, you can eat the calories." I finally sat her down in my office and told her I have an eating disorder, and she needed to stop offering me food. Do not feed me. Do not comment on what I'm eating. Ever.

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