Why wouldn't someone want to lose weight?!

realityfades wrote: »

Some people are in denial.
Some people are too lazy.
Some people have food addiction or emotional issues.

My mom needs to lose weight. She is beyond morbidly obese. She has fatty deposits on her arms that are pushing on her nerves. She avoids doctors so she can remain in denial. She smokes and has COPD. She won't change. Like, if anyone needed Dr. Now from My 600 Lb Life, it would be my mom.

She will die at a youngish age due to her bad eating, her smoking and not taking care of any possible health issues. That is what she wants so I don't say anything.

That's sad. I'm sorry.

I met a friend's mother who is the same way. She doesn't care. She lost her husband a few years ago. She seemed to believe that weight isn't an issue and that women in her family live long though, so what can you do.

But sometimes you have to wonder, when I see the way my grandparents and my mother in law are/were 'living' in their last years... maybe dying younger isn't always such a bad thing (dementia/alzheimer/strokes).

Thanks for the post! At first, I was taken back by your question, but it made me really think as to why I waited so long to lose weight. It was personally very eye opening.

Change is often scary and therefore not sought after. Most folks actively avoid it!

Sometimes being what others don't like is a big ole FU to them. Maybe dumb to punish yourself to hurt others. But peeps do it.

For as many different people who have weight to lose, each of them probably has many different reasons why they're overweight in the first place. When you then compound the fact that your looking at multiple problems that a person has to deal with before addressing ingrained habits, it's easy to see why there's not really an easy answer to the question in the original post.

Overeating can be both psychological and behavioral. A person has to deal with a lot of mental roadblocks to get the psychological reasons out of the way before they can start addressing the behavioral issues. This is hard, challenging stuff and there are often lots of false starts. It can seem overwhelming, and many people would just rather not try than try to face all this, not knowing where to start dealing with it all.

I personally think of a lot of comes from a combination of confusion about what works for any one person and what is so readily available/pushed in our society relative to food (at least the US). People can get very frustrated when they're trying to do something "right" and get little/no results. Or the results are temporary and they regain the weight. And finding out what is "right" for you can very so much on the individual. When you're a person that hasn't found a good, longterm sustainable way of eating, it can feel like you're perpetually fighting a losing battle.

I know that I followed various types of advice over the years without really understanding the underlying science (and even that is still very much in debate). When I finally found what worked for me, it was shockingly easy -- like 5% of the effort I used to expend But, before that, it was shockingly hard.

Plus, weight creeps on a little at a time and people adjust. At my heaviest, I was only 30 lbs over my ideal body weight and that felt like a TON. I literally cannot imagine being 50, 75, 100+ lbs overweight -- it just boggles my mind knowing how unhappy I was with that 30 lbs. But, come here to MFP and there are many, many people that have lost that sort of weight or are trying to lose that sort of weight. I think it's very insidious and easy to not realize how bad it is sometimes.

The second half of my comment didn't post! My weight loss journey!! It's really hard to start and stay consistent! Especially when no one around you says anything about your weight etc. the only one making me feel bad was me so I was the one who had to force myself to start! And now I'm the only one on the healthy eating and exercise train...my BF can eat whatever and be thin so he does!! It's obviously the worst when you're clothes shopping but you have to make a choice every day in order to change that one day of clothes shopping...for most people we just "don't worry about it"!

I can only speak for myself, but being overweight felt safe for me. I was not overweight as a teen. I became overweight as a young adult and yo-yo through to my 50's. When I lost weight in the past and some man gave me the once over, I went into a panic attach. When I gained weight, I became invisible. I am 100% certain it was a result of being a sexual abuse survivor. I also was comforted by food. I had to get healthy mentally before I could get healthy physically. I have survived a once over this summer, without a panic attach, so I have made progress.

Obviously can't speak for everyone, but I just didn't give a damn for most of my life. I was going to school, working, and was happy just getting by. When I decided I was ready to start dating, I buckled down and lost a ton of weight. My reason was pure vanity. I want to be with a woman I find attractive, so I made myself more appealing first. It worked!

So, yeah. Not everyone who stays fat is weak willed, or complains a lot. Some people just honestly aren't bothered about it. I never once dieted and failed. I never once tried a fad. I never went in for woo. I just never cared about my weight until the day I did.

How do you know that everyone who complains about being overweight is doing nothing about it? Have you questioned all of them, asked them to show you their food and exercise logs, gotten a detailed medical history?

I assume that you are a perfect size and weight. You might want to update your profile.

Please tell us all how easy it was to do. I'm sure you're an inspiration to us all.