Why wouldn't someone want to lose weight?!

124

Replies

  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
    I just didn't have the will power, and I liked food more than I wanted to change. But then my life got super stressful (which normally is when people would eat more, but...) and I realized that my weight is the one thing that I can change right now, something I, and I alone, can control. So I am. I asked for help, I got it, and now my weight is going down.

    Everyone just needs to find their point of change. It's not going to be the same for everyone, and we will complain over and over until we finally hit that point and make the change.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    sarab920 wrote: »
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?

    Your profile says you need to lose 24lbs. Why did you wait to try and lose?

    I've been wanting to lose it since 2012, but life got in the way and the weight just kept coming. I basically support myself, so i chose work over getting healthy. Now I have time and I'm financially able to do what I need to do.

    so could that be why others have chosen to wait also?
  • sarab920
    sarab920 Posts: 68 Member
    sarab920 wrote: »
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?

    Your profile says you need to lose 24lbs. Why did you wait to try and lose?
    I've been wanting to lose it since 2012, but life got in the way and the weight just kept coming. I basically support myself, so i chose work over getting healthy. Now I have time and I'm financially able to do what I need to do.

    so could that be why others have chosen to wait also?
    Of course, I'd never put anyone down for that. I know the struggle, but when you're complaining and being a Debbie downer on someone else's accomplishments it's not fair.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    sarab920 wrote: »
    sarab920 wrote: »
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?

    Your profile says you need to lose 24lbs. Why did you wait to try and lose?
    I've been wanting to lose it since 2012, but life got in the way and the weight just kept coming. I basically support myself, so i chose work over getting healthy. Now I have time and I'm financially able to do what I need to do.

    so could that be why others have chosen to wait also?
    Of course, I'd never put anyone down for that. I know the struggle, but when you're complaining and being a Debbie downer on someone else's accomplishments it's not fair.

    ok i gotcha. i think this was not made clear in your initial post and maybe why some starting getting offended.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?
    sarab920 wrote: »
    Of course, I'd never put anyone down for that. I know the struggle, but when you're complaining and being a Debbie downer on someone else's accomplishments it's not fair.

    Wouldn't you though? Feeling like no one is recognizing your own accomplishments in the weight loss department is not a good reason to complain about others' failures in that area of life. And that's what it is, a very small area of life. There are people out there who are much nicer than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are more intelligent than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are much better off financially who don't put any effort into losing weight. I'm not by any means saying we're not nice, or not intelligent, or poor. I'm really not. I'm pointing out that weight loss initiative is only one thing in an incredibly long list of things that make up a human being. I'm losing weight, taking the initiative to better my body while somewhere there's a fat doctor in North Korea treating childhood cataracts for free, you know what I'm saying? Weight loss and fitness are not the end all be all of what defines people. And yes, from the perspective of someone who thinks it's VERY important to be healthy and lose weight, there are gonna be people who lead much better lives than me and have a greater impact on the world than me because rather than count calories, they spent their days risking life and limb to get into North Korea to help the blind see (see the fat doctor, who really exists, in the documentary with Lisa Ling on Netflix!).

    Obviously this isn't everyone, but this goes back to my former point, which is that there is no point in having this conversation. You can't change these people whose complaints you have to listen to. You can't make them care about this as much as we do. All you can do is better yourself and be decent to people so they will respect you enough to follow in your footsteps when they are ready to change. Why wouldn't someone want to lose weight? it doesn't matter. And it's none of our business. Our business is self-improvement and education for those who desire to learn.
  • MorganMoreaux
    MorganMoreaux Posts: 691 Member
    edited November 2015
    ..
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    Wouldn't you though? Feeling like no one is recognizing your own accomplishments in the weight loss department is not a good reason to complain about others' failures in that area of life. And that's what it is, a very small area of life. There are people out there who are much nicer than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are more intelligent than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are much better off financially who don't put any effort into losing weight. I'm not by any means saying we're not nice, or not intelligent, or poor. I'm really not. I'm pointing out that weight loss initiative is only one thing in an incredibly long list of things that make up a human being. I'm losing weight, taking the initiative to better my body while somewhere there's a fat doctor in North Korea treating childhood cataracts for free, you know what I'm saying? Weight loss and fitness are not the end all be all of what defines people. And yes, from the perspective of someone who thinks it's VERY important to be healthy and lose weight, there are gonna be people who lead much better lives than me and have a greater impact on the world than me because rather than count calories, they spent their days risking life and limb to get into North Korea to help the blind see (see the fat doctor, who really exists, in the documentary with Lisa Ling on Netflix!).

    Obviously this isn't everyone, but this goes back to my former point, which is that there is no point in having this conversation. You can't change these people whose complaints you have to listen to. You can't make them care about this as much as we do. All you can do is better yourself and be decent to people so they will respect you enough to follow in your footsteps when they are ready to change. Why wouldn't someone want to lose weight? it doesn't matter. And it's none of our business. Our business is self-improvement and education for those who desire to learn.

    So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic because it's "none of our business", even though obesity causes other serious illnesses such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes. As a society, so many of our children are overweight. Many young people are being put on blood pressure and cholesterol drugs because they are ill due to their weight, ultimately shortening their life spans, and this is "none of our business?" Our society is becoming sicker and sicker and we shouldn't have a discussion about it? I completely disagree. This is not about judging people, it's about what's going wrong and how can it be fixed. Is it mental health, is it lack of knowledge, is it economics, there are so many variables in play, but the fact remains that the problem exists and doesn't seem to be going away. The fact that it is affecting our children to the degree it does is a glaring statement that WE as a society are failing.

    Nothing changes IF NOTHING changes, and by not having discussions and conversations is a great way to ensure that the problem doesn't get addressed, and society stays sick. We collectively need to quit judging, become accountable, and work together towards a solution.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    edited November 2015
    ..
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    Wouldn't you though? Feeling like no one is recognizing your own accomplishments in the weight loss department is not a good reason to complain about others' failures in that area of life. And that's what it is, a very small area of life. There are people out there who are much nicer than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are more intelligent than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are much better off financially who don't put any effort into losing weight. I'm not by any means saying we're not nice, or not intelligent, or poor. I'm really not. I'm pointing out that weight loss initiative is only one thing in an incredibly long list of things that make up a human being. I'm losing weight, taking the initiative to better my body while somewhere there's a fat doctor in North Korea treating childhood cataracts for free, you know what I'm saying? Weight loss and fitness are not the end all be all of what defines people. And yes, from the perspective of someone who thinks it's VERY important to be healthy and lose weight, there are gonna be people who lead much better lives than me and have a greater impact on the world than me because rather than count calories, they spent their days risking life and limb to get into North Korea to help the blind see (see the fat doctor, who really exists, in the documentary with Lisa Ling on Netflix!).

    Obviously this isn't everyone, but this goes back to my former point, which is that there is no point in having this conversation. You can't change these people whose complaints you have to listen to. You can't make them care about this as much as we do. All you can do is better yourself and be decent to people so they will respect you enough to follow in your footsteps when they are ready to change. Why wouldn't someone want to lose weight? it doesn't matter. And it's none of our business. Our business is self-improvement and education for those who desire to learn.

    So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic because it's "none of our business", even though obesity causes other serious illnesses such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes. As a society, so many of our children are overweight. Many young people are being put on blood pressure and cholesterol drugs because they are ill due to their weight, ultimately shortening their life spans, and this is "none of our business?" Our society is becoming sicker and sicker and we shouldn't have a discussion about it? I completely disagree. This is not about judging people, it's about what's going wrong and how can it be fixed. Is it mental health, is it lack of knowledge, is it economics, there are so many variables in play, but the fact remains that the problem exists and doesn't seem to be going away. The fact that it is affecting our children to the degree it does is a glaring statement that WE as a society are failing.

    Nothing changes IF NOTHING changes, and by not having discussions and conversations is a great way to ensure that the problem doesn't get addressed, and society stays sick. We collectively need to quit judging, become accountable, and work together towards a solution.

    1. "So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic" - Nope, I didn't say that. The original post asked very specifically 'Why wouldn't people want to lose weight', which is a very personal and targeted question. OP was even clear to point out that she heard complaints about clothing sizes and pain from actual single individuals in her daily life. So I don't know where you extrapolated what I said to an over-all encompassing obesity-as-a-public-health-crisis thing aside from some serious misinterpretation of the original intent of this thread.

    2. "As a society" ....does not boil down to the personal interactions of the OP, to which this conversation is limited. I have a lot of great ideas about how to solve the societal obesity issue, not the least of which is voting for leaders who will reduce and eventually eliminate all corn and sugar subsidies, to which the American taxpayer shells out 89 billion dollars per year. But that's not at all within the scope or context of this conversation as the OP is written, which is why I didn't bring it up.

    3. "This is not about judging people" ...... oh but it is. Or at least it became that. OP started with "Why wouldn't people want to lose weight", as though anyone who is overweight and hasn't gotten here yet is somehow wrong or inferior to us because we're losing weight, as though everyone here was not once them (as though SHE wasn't very recently them), as though everyone on here doesn't have someone they care about who is still overweight/obese and has a little issue with someone claiming they must not WANT to lose weight. (That's my mama you're talking about, and someone else's too probably). And then to top it all off, the brazen and disgusting assumption that people who are obese or overweight are just lazy and would rather complain about clothing sizes, rather than the much truer reality that there is an entire multi-billion dollar industry of weight loss stuff conspiring to keep them exactly as they are, by manipulating them with half-truths and outright lies and misinformation, so they will continue to lose a little/gain a lot and thus repeatedly shell out $49.95 to these thieves for the next 15 years trying to get what we are achieving. And if you think they're just stupid and it's their own fault so screw them, I'll remind you that 33% of this country doesn't believe in evolution, 29% don't believe in climate change, and a whopping 35% believe gay men and women can actively choose to become heterosexual in spite of OVERWHELMING SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY for all three of those.

    This is not about judging people? This is a bunch of people who are succeeding at losing weight sitting around talking about people who aren't. This is no different than a bunch of old rich dudes sitting around talking about the problems of the gender wage-gap among women in the lower echelons of the poverty scale. Why don't people lose weight? I dunno, why don't poor people just go make more money? What the heck is wrong with them amiright? They complain all day about how expensive gas and rent is instead of going to MyFinancesPal.com and learning how to save and invest their money adequately so they can lose poorness like I have!

    The vast majority of responses to this thread have been overflowing with compassion and empathy, for which I am both grateful and overjoyed. @MorganMoreaux, if you really wanna have a discussion about society wide obesity and all the facets of intricacies of it, I bet we'd have the time of our lives, because I can already tell there is much we agree on in that area. But it's gonna have to be a different thread, because this is not that conversation, this is the "gosh what is with fat people? I'm irritated" conversation and it's goal is neither to solve problems nor discuss solutions.
  • bobsburgersfan
    bobsburgersfan Posts: 6,454 Member
    I think there are a thousand reasons people don't lose weight, and everyone is a little different. At my heaviest I hated everything about my eating behaviors, I hated myself and how I looked, and I absolutely WANTED to change, but I just couldn't do it. I still can't explain why, but I remember the absolutely hopeless feeling I had. I've been working at my weight steadily for the last 3 years; I've been far from perfect, but I've seen amazing changes from just losing 60 pounds. But even though I feel a million times better than I did before and I NEVER EVER want to go back to where I was, it doesn't make it easy. It's still an internal battle to keep trying, and I don't win that battle every day.

    Because my personal journey has been so slow but I haven't quit for 3 years, it has shown me that I really can't assume anything about others. To someone who doesn't know me, I am still morbidly obese. They might assume that I am a binge eater, or that I am lazy. But that person has no idea how much I've worked at this and for how long, or how much better I look now than I did 3 years ago, or that I've developed a consistent exercise habit and have more strength and energy than I can ever remember having.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    I love your question. I may have some answers. Some of my friends are very thick, and they say their boyfriends love them that way. I tend to think it's probably because of security reasons, and they don't want to lose them to another guy maybe. Also, I think some girls get "curvy" mixed up with "fat". Not trying to be mean, but I think when guys say they like girls with curves, they are thinking of "Marilyn Monroe" type women. That song by Megan Trainor, "All about the base" I think may deceive some women into thinking that fat is sexy. One more thing, some women can't have big butts after they lose weight, so they just settle for all over fat. Big butts are in!
  • missblondi2u
    missblondi2u Posts: 851 Member
    I think there are two very different concepts being batted around here. One has to do with judging random people who are overweight/obese for not doing anything about it. The other is being frustrated with those in our lives who constantly complain about their weight or who have serious health issues caused by excess weight, but won't do anything to change it. To me these are very different things.

    As to the random fat person in the grocery store, like someone said above, you never know what another person is struggling with, and whether or not they want to lose weight is none of our freaking business.

    As to people in our lives that we care about, I think a little tough love and perspective is a good thing. Someone above analogized it to a loved one with a drug addiction. Would you just sit by and not say anything if your husband/mother/child/best friend killed themselves with heroin, or would you do what you could to intervene?
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    I love your question. I may have some answers. Some of my friends are very thick, and they say their boyfriends love them that way. I tend to think it's probably because of security reasons, and they don't want to lose them to another guy maybe. Also, I think some girls get "curvy" mixed up with "fat". Not trying to be mean, but I think when guys say they like girls with curves, they are thinking of "Marilyn Monroe" type women. That song by Megan Trainor, "All about the base" I think may deceive some women into thinking that fat is sexy. One more thing, some women can't have big butts after they lose weight, so they just settle for all over fat. Big butts are in!

    Since guys are individuals with individual preferences, there probably isn't one meaning to the statement "I like girls with curves."
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?

    I would imagine that it's not so much "not wanting to"...but rather not knowing how to go about it. Also, making life changes is easy to talk about but can be rather difficult to actually implement. I would wager that most people who fall into the category that you're talking about have had issues most, if not all of their lives...they're likely lacking in even the most rudimentary knowledge of actual nutrition, probably have not done much if anything in regards to exercise and fitness, etc...so basically, they have to completely re-invent themselves...that can be a pretty tall order. Never mind the diet and fitness industry at large muddying the waters with all kinds of BS.

    I have a friend who is more or less in this boat...he has pointed out to me (and I can see his point) that this stuff was "easier" for me in that I have never been grossly overweight...I was always active and playing sports, etc and I grew up eating pretty well...I put on about 40-50 Lbs after graduating college and taking a busy desk job and becoming way more sedentary than I've ever been. I didn't have to re-invent myself...I just had to get myself back into fitness and eating the way my parents and grandparents taught me to eat. For him, just not that easy...he's never done anything remotely active...never played sports...loathed PE at school, etc. To boot, he's basically lived on "junk" since he was a baby...he's learning, but it takes a lot more for him to completely re-invent himself than it took me to simply pick up old fitness and eating habits.

  • MorganMoreaux
    MorganMoreaux Posts: 691 Member
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    1. "So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic" - Nope, I didn't say that. The original post asked very specifically 'Why wouldn't people want to lose weight', which is a very personal and targeted question. OP was even clear to point out that she heard complaints about clothing sizes and pain from actual single individuals in her daily life. So I don't know where you extrapolated what I said to an over-all encompassing obesity-as-a-public-health-crisis thing aside from some serious misinterpretation of the original intent of this thread.

    2. "As a society" ....does not boil down to the personal interactions of the OP, to which this conversation is limited. I have a lot of great ideas about how to solve the societal obesity issue, not the least of which is voting for leaders who will reduce and eventually eliminate all corn and sugar subsidies, to which the American taxpayer shells out 89 billion dollars per year. But that's not at all within the scope or context of this conversation as the OP is written, which is why I didn't bring it up.

    3. "This is not about judging people" ...... oh but it is. Or at least it became that. OP started with "Why wouldn't people want to lose weight", as though anyone who is overweight and hasn't gotten here yet is somehow wrong or inferior to us because we're losing weight, as though everyone here was not once them (as though SHE wasn't very recently them), as though everyone on here doesn't have someone they care about who is still overweight/obese and has a little issue with someone claiming they must not WANT to lose weight. (That's my mama you're talking about, and someone else's too probably). And then to top it all off, the brazen and disgusting assumption that people who are obese or overweight are just lazy and would rather complain about clothing sizes, rather than the much truer reality that there is an entire multi-billion dollar industry of weight loss stuff conspiring to keep them exactly as they are, by manipulating them with half-truths and outright lies and misinformation, so they will continue to lose a little/gain a lot and thus repeatedly shell out $49.95 to these thieves for the next 15 years trying to get what we are achieving. And if you think they're just stupid and it's their own fault so screw them, I'll remind you that 33% of this country doesn't believe in evolution, 29% don't believe in climate change, and a whopping 35% believe gay men and women can actively choose to become heterosexual in spite of OVERWHELMING SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY for all three of those.

    This is not about judging people? This is a bunch of people who are succeeding at losing weight sitting around talking about people who aren't. This is no different than a bunch of old rich dudes sitting around talking about the problems of the gender wage-gap among women in the lower echelons of the poverty scale. Why don't people lose weight? I dunno, why don't poor people just go make more money? What the heck is wrong with them amiright? They complain all day about how expensive gas and rent is instead of going to MyFinancesPal.com and learning how to save and invest their money adequately so they can lose poorness like I have!

    The vast majority of responses to this thread have been overflowing with compassion and empathy, for which I am both grateful and overjoyed. @MorganMoreaux, if you really wanna have a discussion about society wide obesity and all the facets of intricacies of it, I bet we'd have the time of our lives, because I can already tell there is much we agree on in that area. But it's gonna have to be a different thread, because this is not that conversation, this is the "gosh what is with fat people? I'm irritated" conversation and it's goal is neither to solve problems nor discuss solutions.

    Lol - I do think we would have some good discussions. I went back and reread what the OP originally wrote (had read it before going to sleep and didn't pick up on the tone). Ouch.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    I love your question. I may have some answers. Some of my friends are very thick, and they say their boyfriends love them that way. I tend to think it's probably because of security reasons, and they don't want to lose them to another guy maybe. Also, I think some girls get "curvy" mixed up with "fat". Not trying to be mean, but I think when guys say they like girls with curves, they are thinking of "Marilyn Monroe" type women. That song by Megan Trainor, "All about the base" I think may deceive some women into thinking that fat is sexy. One more thing, some women can't have big butts after they lose weight, so they just settle for all over fat. Big butts are in!

    Since guys are individuals with individual preferences, there probably isn't one meaning to the statement "I like girls with curves."

    I didn't mean all guys! My husband doesn't like big butts. He's a leg man. All guys are different. Boy, are they different!
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    1. "So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic" - Nope, I didn't say that. The original post asked very specifically 'Why wouldn't people want to lose weight', which is a very personal and targeted question. OP was even clear to point out that she heard complaints about clothing sizes and pain from actual single individuals in her daily life. So I don't know where you extrapolated what I said to an over-all encompassing obesity-as-a-public-health-crisis thing aside from some serious misinterpretation of the original intent of this thread.

    2. "As a society" ....does not boil down to the personal interactions of the OP, to which this conversation is limited. I have a lot of great ideas about how to solve the societal obesity issue, not the least of which is voting for leaders who will reduce and eventually eliminate all corn and sugar subsidies, to which the American taxpayer shells out 89 billion dollars per year. But that's not at all within the scope or context of this conversation as the OP is written, which is why I didn't bring it up.

    3. "This is not about judging people" ...... oh but it is. Or at least it became that. OP started with "Why wouldn't people want to lose weight", as though anyone who is overweight and hasn't gotten here yet is somehow wrong or inferior to us because we're losing weight, as though everyone here was not once them (as though SHE wasn't very recently them), as though everyone on here doesn't have someone they care about who is still overweight/obese and has a little issue with someone claiming they must not WANT to lose weight. (That's my mama you're talking about, and someone else's too probably). And then to top it all off, the brazen and disgusting assumption that people who are obese or overweight are just lazy and would rather complain about clothing sizes, rather than the much truer reality that there is an entire multi-billion dollar industry of weight loss stuff conspiring to keep them exactly as they are, by manipulating them with half-truths and outright lies and misinformation, so they will continue to lose a little/gain a lot and thus repeatedly shell out $49.95 to these thieves for the next 15 years trying to get what we are achieving. And if you think they're just stupid and it's their own fault so screw them, I'll remind you that 33% of this country doesn't believe in evolution, 29% don't believe in climate change, and a whopping 35% believe gay men and women can actively choose to become heterosexual in spite of OVERWHELMING SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY for all three of those.

    This is not about judging people? This is a bunch of people who are succeeding at losing weight sitting around talking about people who aren't. This is no different than a bunch of old rich dudes sitting around talking about the problems of the gender wage-gap among women in the lower echelons of the poverty scale. Why don't people lose weight? I dunno, why don't poor people just go make more money? What the heck is wrong with them amiright? They complain all day about how expensive gas and rent is instead of going to MyFinancesPal.com and learning how to save and invest their money adequately so they can lose poorness like I have!

    The vast majority of responses to this thread have been overflowing with compassion and empathy, for which I am both grateful and overjoyed. @MorganMoreaux, if you really wanna have a discussion about society wide obesity and all the facets of intricacies of it, I bet we'd have the time of our lives, because I can already tell there is much we agree on in that area. But it's gonna have to be a different thread, because this is not that conversation, this is the "gosh what is with fat people? I'm irritated" conversation and it's goal is neither to solve problems nor discuss solutions.

    Lol - I do think we would have some good discussions. I went back and reread what the OP originally wrote (had read it before going to sleep and didn't pick up on the tone). Ouch.

    I do to, please know that none of that was directed at you. It's merely an expression of my own discomfort with the subject matter. We would have us a great time talking politics:)
  • MorganMoreaux
    MorganMoreaux Posts: 691 Member
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    1. "So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic" - Nope, I didn't say that. The original post asked very specifically 'Why wouldn't people want to lose weight', which is a very personal and targeted question. OP was even clear to point out that she heard complaints about clothing sizes and pain from actual single individuals in her daily life. So I don't know where you extrapolated what I said to an over-all encompassing obesity-as-a-public-health-crisis thing aside from some serious misinterpretation of the original intent of this thread.

    2. "As a society" ....does not boil down to the personal interactions of the OP, to which this conversation is limited. I have a lot of great ideas about how to solve the societal obesity issue, not the least of which is voting for leaders who will reduce and eventually eliminate all corn and sugar subsidies, to which the American taxpayer shells out 89 billion dollars per year. But that's not at all within the scope or context of this conversation as the OP is written, which is why I didn't bring it up.

    3. "This is not about judging people" ...... oh but it is. Or at least it became that. OP started with "Why wouldn't people want to lose weight", as though anyone who is overweight and hasn't gotten here yet is somehow wrong or inferior to us because we're losing weight, as though everyone here was not once them (as though SHE wasn't very recently them), as though everyone on here doesn't have someone they care about who is still overweight/obese and has a little issue with someone claiming they must not WANT to lose weight. (That's my mama you're talking about, and someone else's too probably). And then to top it all off, the brazen and disgusting assumption that people who are obese or overweight are just lazy and would rather complain about clothing sizes, rather than the much truer reality that there is an entire multi-billion dollar industry of weight loss stuff conspiring to keep them exactly as they are, by manipulating them with half-truths and outright lies and misinformation, so they will continue to lose a little/gain a lot and thus repeatedly shell out $49.95 to these thieves for the next 15 years trying to get what we are achieving. And if you think they're just stupid and it's their own fault so screw them, I'll remind you that 33% of this country doesn't believe in evolution, 29% don't believe in climate change, and a whopping 35% believe gay men and women can actively choose to become heterosexual in spite of OVERWHELMING SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY for all three of those.

    This is not about judging people? This is a bunch of people who are succeeding at losing weight sitting around talking about people who aren't. This is no different than a bunch of old rich dudes sitting around talking about the problems of the gender wage-gap among women in the lower echelons of the poverty scale. Why don't people lose weight? I dunno, why don't poor people just go make more money? What the heck is wrong with them amiright? They complain all day about how expensive gas and rent is instead of going to MyFinancesPal.com and learning how to save and invest their money adequately so they can lose poorness like I have!

    The vast majority of responses to this thread have been overflowing with compassion and empathy, for which I am both grateful and overjoyed. @MorganMoreaux, if you really wanna have a discussion about society wide obesity and all the facets of intricacies of it, I bet we'd have the time of our lives, because I can already tell there is much we agree on in that area. But it's gonna have to be a different thread, because this is not that conversation, this is the "gosh what is with fat people? I'm irritated" conversation and it's goal is neither to solve problems nor discuss solutions.

    Lol - I do think we would have some good discussions. I went back and reread what the OP originally wrote (had read it before going to sleep and didn't pick up on the tone). Ouch.

    I do to, please know that none of that was directed at you. It's merely an expression of my own discomfort with the subject matter. We would have us a great time talking politics:)

    Didn't take it that way - you raise several valid points. After rereading the original post it made me sad. That is exactly the kind of mindset that damages people and causes so much emotional pain.
  • DKG28
    DKG28 Posts: 299 Member
    I was acceptably happy with being 50 lbs overweight. I had good self-confidence, and got lots of praise because I excelled in academics and at work. I grew up being taught by my parents that being smart was more valuable and important than being thin and pretty, and I took it to heart. Somehow the question of health was never part of my thinking. I confess to having a skewed understanding that it was impossible to be thin and not vain and self-absorbed, and I didn't want to be like that. Of course that's not true, but I was completely convinced of the stereotype of skinny bi#$% and found nothing attractive about it. The day last January when it hit me that my weight might one day cause health problems that would hold me back from achieving what I want to achieve, that's the very first time I'd ever given any thought to losing weight, and I've done it. I was always overweight, so being of normal weight was never part of my life experience, so there was no urgency to "get back to" that place. I'm afraid the huge emphasis on "inner beauty" that I got growing up failed to be balanced with an understanding of "inner health". My perspective is just now getting rounded out. It's a complex issue.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    ..
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    Wouldn't you though? Feeling like no one is recognizing your own accomplishments in the weight loss department is not a good reason to complain about others' failures in that area of life. And that's what it is, a very small area of life. There are people out there who are much nicer than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are more intelligent than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are much better off financially who don't put any effort into losing weight. I'm not by any means saying we're not nice, or not intelligent, or poor. I'm really not. I'm pointing out that weight loss initiative is only one thing in an incredibly long list of things that make up a human being. I'm losing weight, taking the initiative to better my body while somewhere there's a fat doctor in North Korea treating childhood cataracts for free, you know what I'm saying? Weight loss and fitness are not the end all be all of what defines people. And yes, from the perspective of someone who thinks it's VERY important to be healthy and lose weight, there are gonna be people who lead much better lives than me and have a greater impact on the world than me because rather than count calories, they spent their days risking life and limb to get into North Korea to help the blind see (see the fat doctor, who really exists, in the documentary with Lisa Ling on Netflix!).

    Obviously this isn't everyone, but this goes back to my former point, which is that there is no point in having this conversation. You can't change these people whose complaints you have to listen to. You can't make them care about this as much as we do. All you can do is better yourself and be decent to people so they will respect you enough to follow in your footsteps when they are ready to change. Why wouldn't someone want to lose weight? it doesn't matter. And it's none of our business. Our business is self-improvement and education for those who desire to learn.

    So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic because it's "none of our business", even though obesity causes other serious illnesses such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes. As a society, so many of our children are overweight. Many young people are being put on blood pressure and cholesterol drugs because they are ill due to their weight, ultimately shortening their life spans, and this is "none of our business?" Our society is becoming sicker and sicker and we shouldn't have a discussion about it? I completely disagree. This is not about judging people, it's about what's going wrong and how can it be fixed. Is it mental health, is it lack of knowledge, is it economics, there are so many variables in play, but the fact remains that the problem exists and doesn't seem to be going away. The fact that it is affecting our children to the degree it does is a glaring statement that WE as a society are failing.

    Nothing changes IF NOTHING changes, and by not having discussions and conversations is a great way to ensure that the problem doesn't get addressed, and society stays sick. We collectively need to quit judging, become accountable, and work together towards a solution.

    I would make a big distinction between saying "we have an obesity problem in our society, what are some things that we might be able to do to deal with this?" and going up to someone and saying "it's really easy to lose weight, why don't you?!" I saw OP's question as more similar to the latter, and saying "lots of reasons someone might not lose weight at a particular time, not hard to understand, none of your business" to that is NOT the same thing as saying "la, la, la, who cares about the obesity problem."

    That said, I think people can reasonably debate whether there is much we can do as a society (in terms of programs) vs. just cultural change and individual decision making. By which I don't mean I think there's nothing we can do, but that I am undecided and think things are worth trying but none strike me as particularly likely to make a huge difference yet.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    edited November 2015
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Wanting to repeat or continue a pleasurable experience isn't the same thing as an addiction.

    Does anyone jump off a table after five minutes of a massage? Does anyone get out of a bubble bath after 30 seconds?

    It's two completely different things.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Once again, I attribute that to willpower. And, no I cant have just one chip lol I'd rather not start to begin with, because usually I'll eat the whole packet.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Yes, actually.

    What I find makes a difference in how many chips (or similar things) I eat is not how processed they are. Indeed, I have a harder time stopping freshly-made tortilla chips or homemade/housemade potato chips, as I find them more delicious -- I'm pretty sure I like the combination of ingredients, not the extra additives in the bagged ones, where they exist. Instead, it's whether I put a few on my plate with some other food, in which case I will eat those and be perfectly satisfied, or whether I eat out of a bag or off a basket on the table while waiting for other food and while hungry. Then I keep eating. But it's the environment, not the food, which leads to that, so I know better.

    Similarly, if I get talked into doing family style meals (for example, an Ethiopian meal where we share dishes or a similar thing with Chinese or Indian) or if I do a really good all-you-can-eat buffet or holiday dinner with lots and lots of dishes, I will likely eat FAR more than if I dish out appropriate amounts of food at the beginning of the meal. With large restaurant portions I need to decide in advance how much is appropriate to eat and hold myself to it. It's otherwise easy to eat more than you really need.

    Stuff like this is discussed in Brian Wansink's books and for me at least they really ring true.
  • stephanieluvspb
    stephanieluvspb Posts: 997 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Of course not, I eat a serving and move on. I also don't eat just one bean or one bite of an apple.
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Yes, plenty of times. Especially if it's something my kids are eating, and I want a taste, but I don't want a serving of it.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Wanting to repeat or continue a pleasurable experience isn't the same thing as an addiction.

    Does anyone jump off a table after five minutes of a massage? Does anyone get out of a bubble bath after 30 seconds?

    It's two completely different things.
    I don't know for a fact, and you don't know for a fact, that they don't put some addictive chemical in food these days! I wouldn't be surprised at all!
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Wanting to repeat or continue a pleasurable experience isn't the same thing as an addiction.

    Does anyone jump off a table after five minutes of a massage? Does anyone get out of a bubble bath after 30 seconds?

    It's two completely different things.
    I don't know for a fact, and you don't know for a fact, that they don't put some addictive chemical in food these days! I wouldn't be surprised at all!

    Oh my....
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Wanting to repeat or continue a pleasurable experience isn't the same thing as an addiction.

    Does anyone jump off a table after five minutes of a massage? Does anyone get out of a bubble bath after 30 seconds?

    It's two completely different things.
    I don't know for a fact, and you don't know for a fact, that they don't put some addictive chemical in food these days! I wouldn't be surprised at all!

    Maybe?? But it will never be able to be proved...
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Wanting to repeat or continue a pleasurable experience isn't the same thing as an addiction.

    Does anyone jump off a table after five minutes of a massage? Does anyone get out of a bubble bath after 30 seconds?

    It's two completely different things.
    I don't know for a fact, and you don't know for a fact, that they don't put some addictive chemical in food these days! I wouldn't be surprised at all!

    It's a conspiracy? Involving every country with an obesity problem? That is extremely difficult for me to think this is possible.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Wanting to repeat or continue a pleasurable experience isn't the same thing as an addiction.

    Does anyone jump off a table after five minutes of a massage? Does anyone get out of a bubble bath after 30 seconds?

    It's two completely different things.
    I don't know for a fact, and you don't know for a fact, that they don't put some addictive chemical in food these days! I wouldn't be surprised at all!

    Maybe?? But it will never be able to be proved...

    I
    Some people would argue that processed foods are not addictive, but have you ever eaten just one potato chip?

    Wanting to repeat or continue a pleasurable experience isn't the same thing as an addiction.

    Does anyone jump off a table after five minutes of a massage? Does anyone get out of a bubble bath after 30 seconds?

    It's two completely different things.
    I don't know for a fact, and you don't know for a fact, that they don't put some addictive chemical in food these days! I wouldn't be surprised at all!

    It's a conspiracy? Involving every country with an obesity problem? That is extremely difficult for me to think this is possible.

    It's not difficult for me. It's all about money honey!
  • Gisel2015
    Gisel2015 Posts: 4,185 Member
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?

    Your profile says you need to lose 24lbs. Why did you wait to try and lose?

    And your profile says that you are in your 60s. Why did YOU wait to try and lose?