Why wouldn't someone want to lose weight?!

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Replies

  • frankiesgirlie
    frankiesgirlie Posts: 669 Member
    Sarajvz wrote: »
    Because a lot of people just don't care and it's a non-issue for them. I was thin until after my third pregnancy, gained a lot of weight in my early 3os, and at that point I honestly didn't care. It was a non-issue for me until I found out I was a pre-diabetic by chance. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have lost the weight.

    And now being on the other side of it, having gone through the weight loss phase and now in maintenance, the world hasn't magically gotten better since I've lost the weight, except I now have better test results. I don't feel any different, people don't treat me any different etc etc. If anything it's annoying now because I have to be mindful of how much I eat, vs before. Realistically, if my weight didn't have such a correlation to my glucose numbers I wouldn't be doing this whole thing, even being where I am now.


    You don't feel any different since conquering being overweight? People don't treat you differently? No disrespect but, I find both statements very hard to believe.
    Are you sure you're not just looking for an excuse to slack off? Managing your weight and staying fit is not easy for anyone, but I believe most people would agree it is sooo worth it.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    Sarajvz wrote: »
    Because a lot of people just don't care and it's a non-issue for them. I was thin until after my third pregnancy, gained a lot of weight in my early 3os, and at that point I honestly didn't care. It was a non-issue for me until I found out I was a pre-diabetic by chance. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have lost the weight.

    And now being on the other side of it, having gone through the weight loss phase and now in maintenance, the world hasn't magically gotten better since I've lost the weight, except I now have better test results. I don't feel any different, people don't treat me any different etc etc. If anything it's annoying now because I have to be mindful of how much I eat, vs before. Realistically, if my weight didn't have such a correlation to my glucose numbers I wouldn't be doing this whole thing, even being where I am now.


    You don't feel any different since conquering being overweight? People don't treat you differently? No disrespect but, I find both statements very hard to believe.
    Are you sure you're not just looking for an excuse to slack off? Managing your weight and staying fit is not easy for anyone, but I believe most people would agree it is sooo worth it.

    Yeah I have to second this.

    If you don't perceive people as treating you differently, it may be you're just not seeing it, cause overweight females actually make less money in this country, even less so than the normal 78 cents to a dollar gender-wage-gap. I mean, being treated differently because you are thin and attractive doesn't have to be overt. It could be that time the gas station guy let you slide on being 60 cents short. Or the time the bus driver waited 30 seconds more than he might've if you were overweight. Or the security guard who DIDN'T follow you around the nice clothing store because 'what could a fat girl want in here, she must be trouble' (I couldn't possibly have been buying one of my friends, who are skinny all, a birthday gift or anything). I've only lost 18 lbs and I'm already noticing the reactions strangers have to me are different, 99% of the time they're better than they used to be. Of course, I've been looking out for changes, and it may not have been obvious to me if I wasn't.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Gisel2015 wrote: »
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?

    Your profile says you need to lose 24lbs. Why did you wait to try and lose?

    And your profile says that you are in your 60s. Why did YOU wait to try and lose?

    Maybe she gained the weight in her 60s.

    Maybe she doesn't judge people for gaining weight (seems likely).

    Hmm.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Sarajvz wrote: »
    Because a lot of people just don't care and it's a non-issue for them. I was thin until after my third pregnancy, gained a lot of weight in my early 3os, and at that point I honestly didn't care. It was a non-issue for me until I found out I was a pre-diabetic by chance. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have lost the weight.

    And now being on the other side of it, having gone through the weight loss phase and now in maintenance, the world hasn't magically gotten better since I've lost the weight, except I now have better test results. I don't feel any different, people don't treat me any different etc etc. If anything it's annoying now because I have to be mindful of how much I eat, vs before. Realistically, if my weight didn't have such a correlation to my glucose numbers I wouldn't be doing this whole thing, even being where I am now.


    You don't feel any different since conquering being overweight? People don't treat you differently?

    I think people treat me differently, but I don't know, since I know I interact differently when I feel more confident and for me I feel more confident when I'm thinner. But I have worked with obese people who were also confident and felt (when I was obese) that I wished I seemed as confident and dressed as well as they do, so I cannot say for sure that what I perceive as a difference isn't related to a difference in me.

    My salary is the same obese and not, and was quite good when I was obese. I do think that I would have had a harder time getting my job (which I am good at) when obese.
    Are you sure you're not just looking for an excuse to slack off? Managing your weight and staying fit is not easy for anyone, but I believe most people would agree it is sooo worth it.

    Eh, I'm much happier being thin to normal weight, but I really wasn't extremely unhappy about being fat and for a time didn't mind it at all and thought being able to eat whatever was worth it. That wasn't an excuse, it was true. Maybe there's something wrong with me that it was true, but I genuinely did not care that much. I felt reasonably good and was not impaired in my ability to do normal activity. I prefer being really fit, but at the time that was what worked for me and I really feel puzzled that anyone else thinks it was their business or that I should have felt worse than I did.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    edited November 2015
    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    Sarajvz wrote: »
    Because a lot of people just don't care and it's a non-issue for them. I was thin until after my third pregnancy, gained a lot of weight in my early 3os, and at that point I honestly didn't care. It was a non-issue for me until I found out I was a pre-diabetic by chance. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have lost the weight.

    And now being on the other side of it, having gone through the weight loss phase and now in maintenance, the world hasn't magically gotten better since I've lost the weight, except I now have better test results. I don't feel any different, people don't treat me any different etc etc. If anything it's annoying now because I have to be mindful of how much I eat, vs before. Realistically, if my weight didn't have such a correlation to my glucose numbers I wouldn't be doing this whole thing, even being where I am now.


    You don't feel any different since conquering being overweight? People don't treat you differently?

    I think people treat me differently, but I don't know, since I know I interact differently when I feel more confident and for me I feel more confident when I'm thinner. But I have worked with obese people who were also confident and felt (when I was obese) that I wished I seemed as confident and dressed as well as they do, so I cannot say for sure that what I perceive as a difference isn't related to a difference in me.

    My salary is the same obese and not, and was quite good when I was obese. I do think that I would have had a harder time getting my job (which I am good at) when obese.
    Are you sure you're not just looking for an excuse to slack off? Managing your weight and staying fit is not easy for anyone, but I believe most people would agree it is sooo worth it.

    Eh, I'm much happier being thin to normal weight, but I really wasn't extremely unhappy about being fat and for a time didn't mind it at all and thought being able to eat whatever was worth it. That wasn't an excuse, it was true. Maybe there's something wrong with me that it was true, but I genuinely did not care that much. I felt reasonably good and was not impaired in my ability to do normal activity. I prefer being really fit, but at the time that was what worked for me and I really feel puzzled that anyone else thinks it was their business or that I should have felt worse than I did.

    I wouldn't say anything was wrong with you for that feeling. When I did it, it was a rationalization to excuse my overweightness, but there is something rather satisfying about watching other people have to watch what they eat while I scarfed down a key lime pie in .08 seconds. I don't think that's wrong, it's maybe not right, perhaps it's best to call it being human:)

    ETA: While I very objectively disagree with some minor mostly-me stuff, your experience is a pretty prime example of what many people on here have rightly been told, which is that losing weight may not make you happy, it will probably just make you weigh less. I hope you share your experience with people when they are having "I must lose weight to be a happy person" moments. (Which isn't to say you aren't happy, but you know what I'm failing to get at right? I just don't know how to say it)
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,089 Member
    ..
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    Wouldn't you though? Feeling like no one is recognizing your own accomplishments in the weight loss department is not a good reason to complain about others' failures in that area of life. And that's what it is, a very small area of life. There are people out there who are much nicer than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are more intelligent than us who haven't put in any effort to lose weight. There are people who are much better off financially who don't put any effort into losing weight. I'm not by any means saying we're not nice, or not intelligent, or poor. I'm really not. I'm pointing out that weight loss initiative is only one thing in an incredibly long list of things that make up a human being. I'm losing weight, taking the initiative to better my body while somewhere there's a fat doctor in North Korea treating childhood cataracts for free, you know what I'm saying? Weight loss and fitness are not the end all be all of what defines people. And yes, from the perspective of someone who thinks it's VERY important to be healthy and lose weight, there are gonna be people who lead much better lives than me and have a greater impact on the world than me because rather than count calories, they spent their days risking life and limb to get into North Korea to help the blind see (see the fat doctor, who really exists, in the documentary with Lisa Ling on Netflix!).

    Obviously this isn't everyone, but this goes back to my former point, which is that there is no point in having this conversation. You can't change these people whose complaints you have to listen to. You can't make them care about this as much as we do. All you can do is better yourself and be decent to people so they will respect you enough to follow in your footsteps when they are ready to change. Why wouldn't someone want to lose weight? it doesn't matter. And it's none of our business. Our business is self-improvement and education for those who desire to learn.

    So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic because it's "none of our business", even though obesity causes other serious illnesses such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes. As a society, so many of our children are overweight. Many young people are being put on blood pressure and cholesterol drugs because they are ill due to their weight, ultimately shortening their life spans, and this is "none of our business?" Our society is becoming sicker and sicker and we shouldn't have a discussion about it? I completely disagree. This is not about judging people, it's about what's going wrong and how can it be fixed. Is it mental health, is it lack of knowledge, is it economics, there are so many variables in play, but the fact remains that the problem exists and doesn't seem to be going away. The fact that it is affecting our children to the degree it does is a glaring statement that WE as a society are failing.

    Nothing changes IF NOTHING changes, and by not having discussions and conversations is a great way to ensure that the problem doesn't get addressed, and society stays sick. We collectively need to quit judging, become accountable, and work together towards a solution.

    1. "So essentially you're saying that we shouldn't even have a conversation about the obesity epidemic" - Nope, I didn't say that. The original post asked very specifically 'Why wouldn't people want to lose weight', which is a very personal and targeted question. OP was even clear to point out that she heard complaints about clothing sizes and pain from actual single individuals in her daily life. So I don't know where you extrapolated what I said to an over-all encompassing obesity-as-a-public-health-crisis thing aside from some serious misinterpretation of the original intent of this thread.

    2. "As a society" ....does not boil down to the personal interactions of the OP, to which this conversation is limited. I have a lot of great ideas about how to solve the societal obesity issue, not the least of which is voting for leaders who will reduce and eventually eliminate all corn and sugar subsidies, to which the American taxpayer shells out 89 billion dollars per year. But that's not at all within the scope or context of this conversation as the OP is written, which is why I didn't bring it up.

    3. "This is not about judging people" ...... oh but it is. Or at least it became that. OP started with "Why wouldn't people want to lose weight", as though anyone who is overweight and hasn't gotten here yet is somehow wrong or inferior to us because we're losing weight, as though everyone here was not once them (as though SHE wasn't very recently them), as though everyone on here doesn't have someone they care about who is still overweight/obese and has a little issue with someone claiming they must not WANT to lose weight. (That's my mama you're talking about, and someone else's too probably). And then to top it all off, the brazen and disgusting assumption that people who are obese or overweight are just lazy and would rather complain about clothing sizes, rather than the much truer reality that there is an entire multi-billion dollar industry of weight loss stuff conspiring to keep them exactly as they are, by manipulating them with half-truths and outright lies and misinformation, so they will continue to lose a little/gain a lot and thus repeatedly shell out $49.95 to these thieves for the next 15 years trying to get what we are achieving. And if you think they're just stupid and it's their own fault so screw them, I'll remind you that 33% of this country doesn't believe in evolution, 29% don't believe in climate change, and a whopping 35% believe gay men and women can actively choose to become heterosexual in spite of OVERWHELMING SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY for all three of those.

    This is not about judging people? This is a bunch of people who are succeeding at losing weight sitting around talking about people who aren't. This is no different than a bunch of old rich dudes sitting around talking about the problems of the gender wage-gap among women in the lower echelons of the poverty scale. Why don't people lose weight? I dunno, why don't poor people just go make more money? What the heck is wrong with them amiright? They complain all day about how expensive gas and rent is instead of going to MyFinancesPal.com and learning how to save and invest their money adequately so they can lose poorness like I have!

    The vast majority of responses to this thread have been overflowing with compassion and empathy, for which I am both grateful and overjoyed. @MorganMoreaux, if you really wanna have a discussion about society wide obesity and all the facets of intricacies of it, I bet we'd have the time of our lives, because I can already tell there is much we agree on in that area. But it's gonna have to be a different thread, because this is not that conversation, this is the "gosh what is with fat people? I'm irritated" conversation and it's goal is neither to solve problems nor discuss solutions.

    insert standing ovation gif
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    Gisel2015 wrote: »
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?

    Your profile says you need to lose 24lbs. Why did you wait to try and lose?

    And your profile says that you are in your 60s. Why did YOU wait to try and lose?

    I am not the one that doesn't understand why people put off losing weight. Nor am I the one that is questioning why they can't find the motivation to do so. My question to the OP was to make her look at her own reasons for waiting.

    To answer your question however...I used the same reasons that had allowed me to gain the weight as a reason not to lose it...I didn't care about what happened to me...didn't feel as if I deserved to be happy. That changed one day and I have been trying (with some falling off the wagon and falling back in to my old mind frame) ever since to get my life back. It has been difficult and has taken every ounce of my will power to stay on track. Many times I have grown tired of the fight and have wanted to quit. So I understand that we each have our own battles and demons to face.

    I hope that answers your question.

  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    Gisel2015 wrote: »
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    sarab920 wrote: »
    I know so many over weight people, mostly young, always complaining about not being able to find clothes that fit properly, complain about body pains, not being able to sleep in the same bed as their significant other because of their size etc etc, but yet they aren't doing anything about it? I know some people have medical conditions that can hold them back, but when you're sitting home when you can be going walking or at least slightly making a difference in your diet, you really have nothing to complain about. I'm rambling, but how is one so comfortable with that? I'm not saying everyone needs to be supermodel thin, but change is good...right?

    Your profile says you need to lose 24lbs. Why did you wait to try and lose?

    And your profile says that you are in your 60s. Why did YOU wait to try and lose?

    Maybe she gained the weight in her 60s.

    Maybe she doesn't judge people for gaining weight (seems likely).

    Hmm.

    We all have our own stories...who am I to judge the story of another.

    I truly believe that each of us has to be ready to take control of how that story ends. It takes some people longer than others to take control. For some people that time never comes.
  • riffraff2112
    riffraff2112 Posts: 1,756 Member
    It is a battle no matter how you look at it. Some people just aren't ready for it. As easy as some will tell you, lifelong habits are hard to break.