Discouraged about how much I have to lose...

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ditsyblond17
ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I am ashamed to admit how much I have to lose. It's quite sad, really.

The starting and stopping results from me giving up before I even really start. The reason? I realize I need to lose the equivalent of an overweight, grown man! I just don't know how to keep the "one day at a time" mentality and not get tripped up by the fact that I have to do this hardcore everyday for the rest of my life. At least for 2+ years just to get to a weight to maintain!

Does anyone have any suggestions? Please be kind...don't kick me when I'm already down. Thanks.
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Replies

  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,197 MFP Moderator
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    You can either start today, and take it one day at a time... and next week you'll be further along than you are today... OR you can give up before you get started and be in the same place next week that you are in this one. You CAN do this. Try looking at it not as an 'ultimate goal' but as you getting healthier. You don't have to hit that 'ultimate goal weight'. You just have to be better tomorrow than you were today.

    Sending you hugs, lady. You can do this if you put your mind to it.
  • yarwell
    yarwell Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I have a friend who turned 30 in a similar position and with a growing number of health issues joined up to a local slimming club with a couple of friends and knuckled down to what will be a 2 year effort for her too.

    "Thirty and thin" might be a goal to aim for. Find changes to food and activities that you like and can sustain.
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
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    Those are great ideas! Thank you!!

    Sometimes it's nice to just feel like I have support. I have NO ONE supporting me in my imediate family or life. It's rather sad and pathetic. It's hard to keep going when surrounded by other fat people that don't want to change. But I need to realize, this is for me, not them! I am going to be the one happy and fit, and hopefully, I will lead by example.

    Have you guys ever wondered what it's even like to be "thin"? I've never been thin in my entire 26 years of life. EVER. I can't even begin to fathom how it will feel. In a way, I'm terrified of the unknown about it too. I think that may have a lot to do with it, as well.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,361 Member
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    Set weight loss milestones and only focus on each milestone at a time. It could be 20lb or 10kilo milestones, reduction in clothing size etc.

    I also think you need to start looking at the positives over what you perceive to be negatives (eg time to reach final goal weight) such as all the achievements to be made along the way...reduced blood pressure, improved health, doing your first first run/walk, dancing, swimming, exercising, reduction in clothing size, being able to buy clothes of the rack, I am sure you will be able to list a whole lot of achievements to come that are relevant to you.
  • Pretty_Little_Nobody
    Pretty_Little_Nobody Posts: 626 Member
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    I started here just less than two years ago in a similar position, I'm 145lbs lighter and still going! XD If I can do it I know you can. Focus on day to day or week to week rather than that big, daunting number.
  • tonisha1821
    tonisha1821 Posts: 24 Member
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    I'm 5'0 and weight 243. I lost 25 pounds earlier this year and then gained it all back. Yes, it's unfortunate that I gained it back, but the upside is that now I know I can do it and it's not nearly as torturous as so many people make it seem. There's no point in waiting to start or procrastinating. Once you start trying you'll start to gain more respect for yourself just for the effort. I hate that I gained the weight back, but I love that I lost it at all and now I'm preparing to start all over again from scratch and do better to maintain it this time. There's no shame in falling short. The shame is in not giving yourself a chance. You're capable of whatever you say you're capable of and you deserve a healthy lifestyle.

    When I first started my weight loss journey, I refused to look at the scale for the first month. I stepped on once to get my starting weight and then didn't check it again until 30 days out, after consistently logging my food. It took the pressure off of me to see results right then and there. When I saw that I had made progress just by trying, I was elated! Also, I like to cook so, I had a lot of fun looking up and trying out new recipes. I also researched cardio exercises. Walking is best for beginners and once that got to be too easy and I wasn't burning as many calories, I'd try jogging intermittently I started with 30 minutes of walking. My next stage was 9 minutes of walking 1 minute of jogging. Then 8 minutes of walking 2 minutes of jogging. Then 7 minutes of walking and 3 minutes of jogging and so on and so forth. On the days I didn't feel like getting on the treadmill, I took my jump rope outside and set a goal to jumprope for the entire duration of one of my favorite songs. Most importantly though, I stopped telling myself that I could not do it and that I was fat and nothing was ever going to change. Your mindset is most important of all. Getting started is only as hard as you make it.
  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
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    Pretty_Little_Nobody wrote: »
    I started here just less than two years ago in a similar position, I'm 145lbs lighter and still going! XD If I can do it I know you can. Focus on day to day or week to week rather than that big, daunting number.

    Congratulations on your super achievement love :)
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
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    yes, it seems so easy when you guys put it like that. I suppose the depression it's put me in has an effect on it. But I will overcome this. It's certainly mind over matter. ALL mental. 100%.

    Congrats Pretty_little!
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    Can you talk to a therapist? If you are in a depression cycle, it will help a lot and make everything easier.
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
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    tonisha1821 wrote: »
    I'm 5'0 and weight 243. I lost 25 pounds earlier this year and then gained it all back. Yes, it's unfortunate that I gained it back, but the upside is that now I know I can do it and it's not nearly as torturous as so many people make it seem. There's no point in waiting to start or procrastinating. Once you start trying you'll start to gain more respect for yourself just for the effort. I hate that I gained the weight back, but I love that I lost it at all and now I'm preparing to start all over again from scratch and do better to maintain it this time. There's no shame in falling short. The shame is in not giving yourself a chance. You're capable of whatever you say you're capable of and you deserve a healthy lifestyle.

    When I first started my weight loss journey, I refused to look at the scale for the first month. I stepped on once to get my starting weight and then didn't check it again until 30 days out, after consistently logging my food. It took the pressure off of me to see results right then and there. When I saw that I had made progress just by trying, I was elated! Also, I like to cook so, I had a lot of fun looking up and trying out new recipes. I also researched cardio exercises. Walking is best for beginners and once that got to be too easy and I wasn't burning as many calories, I'd try jogging intermittently I started with 30 minutes of walking. My next stage was 9 minutes of walking 1 minute of jogging. Then 8 minutes of walking 2 minutes of jogging. Then 7 minutes of walking and 3 minutes of jogging and so on and so forth. On the days I didn't feel like getting on the treadmill, I took my jump rope outside and set a goal to jumprope for the entire duration of one of my favorite songs. Most importantly though, I stopped telling myself that I could not do it and that I was fat and nothing was ever going to change. Your mindset is most important of all. Getting started is only as hard as you make it.

    Absolutely! Thank you!!

    And congrats. Sounds like you are exactly where you need to be. Great tip on the scale idea. May have to put it in the garage till Christmas ;)
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
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    aggelikik wrote: »
    Can you talk to a therapist? If you are in a depression cycle, it will help a lot and make everything easier.

    I actually already see one! She knows my struggle with food. For some reason, I'm having a hard time snapping out of this feeling of hopelessness towards food. And only food. Nothing else in my life is like this. Just my weight loss/food problems.
  • chulipa
    chulipa Posts: 650 Member
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    You need friends on mfp it has helped me alot since i dont have a lot of family support it just me and my husband and he is not over weight so if you would like to add me you can i still have all most 100 lbs to lose
  • xX_PhoenixRising_Xx
    xX_PhoenixRising_Xx Posts: 622 Member
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    I started where you are now. I was 329lbs at 5'7". Losing half my body weight seemed impossible, and my issues with food were complex. I set myself small goals. Track my food each day, go for a short walk each day or do 10 mins on a (cheap) exercise cycle I acquired, lose 5kg. That was all. If I focused on needing to lose 75kg, it was immense, but 5kg I could manage. It's amazing how quickly it added up. As I went along I changed my goals and challenged myself so that I would be fit as well as much healthier when I got to goal.

    The other thing I did was set my calorie goal to a reasonable deficit. I knew if I was going to lose weight long term then 1200 calories wasn't going to work for me. I need to be able to have some of the food I love or I would binge. So I ignored sodium, sugar and carbs, and ate ice cream or chocolate or chips if I wanted some. BUT, my portions were weighed and tracked, and I stuck to my calorie goal. Moderation worked where fads and crazes never had. Over time I started paying attention to macros and added in heavy lifting, but at the start it's sustainability that's important. End result, it took me 2 years but I lost 71kg, I'm happy with my size and I've been maintaining for around 18 months.

    Weight loss is very much a mental thing, but you CAN do it :)
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
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    2 years are going to pass whether you lose weight or not. In two years, if you don't start today, you will be wishing you did. It will be a cycle you will never escape if you don't get working now.

    Start easing into it. Set yourself one goal at a time. Maybe one week it could be walking more. Next week it could be drinking more water. Little steps with yield big changes. Not everything needs to be done at once.
  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
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    I do hope the superb posts of people who had a similar amount to lose as you can inspire you to start your weight loss journey.
  • melonaulait
    melonaulait Posts: 769 Member
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    It doesn't matter how much you have to lose. I have to lose half my body weight to be on the slim side, but right now I am happy with just the 13kg I've lost so far. Every little bit will make you more excited, no matter how long it takes you!
  • eeede
    eeede Posts: 88 Member
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    I was in the same situation. I had half of my weight to loose, 130 lbs (60kgs).
    It's huge, it really huge. But what choice do we have? Or we try to change something and lose or where will we be in 5/10/20 years?
    I'm just 27, I don't want to not be able to walk at 40 or even before.
    I have divided my goal in two halves -30kg / - 60kg.
    I also make small victories with my BMI (for example under 40), /5kg...

    Also, I understood weight loss is not linear and sometimes you can gain back a little not because you did something wrong but because of fluctuation (ToM for example).
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,658 Member
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    The 2+ years are going to pass whether you're losing weight or not, right? You might as well work on losing the weight so that 2+ years from now you're in maintenance, not still looking at 2+ years of losing.

    Just do what you need to do without worrying about the time, because that's time is going to pass just the same either way.
  • lindabortner
    lindabortner Posts: 20 Member
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    Set small goals and celebrate small losses. I set 5 pound weight loss goals 46 pounds ago. Read as many inspirational weight loss stories as you can. When i feel like binge-eating, I watch my 600 pound life, And that usually keeps me motivated. I believe in you. You can do it. Do not think of this as a diet. Think of this as a new way of life. Most thin people i know eat healthier and exercise.
  • vivmom2014
    vivmom2014 Posts: 1,647 Member
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    chulipa wrote: »
    You need friends on mfp it has helped me alot since i dont have a lot of family support it just me and my husband and he is not over weight so if you would like to add me you can i still have all most 100 lbs to lose

    I would feel overwhelmed too. But just start.

    Doing something will feel better than doing nothing. Taking a stand will move you forward; caving into a feeling of defeat will keep you stuck.

    Press on. Believe in the small doses. You. Will. Get. There.



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