Discouraged about how much I have to lose...

ditsyblond17
ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
edited November 26 in Health and Weight Loss
I am ashamed to admit how much I have to lose. It's quite sad, really.

The starting and stopping results from me giving up before I even really start. The reason? I realize I need to lose the equivalent of an overweight, grown man! I just don't know how to keep the "one day at a time" mentality and not get tripped up by the fact that I have to do this hardcore everyday for the rest of my life. At least for 2+ years just to get to a weight to maintain!

Does anyone have any suggestions? Please be kind...don't kick me when I'm already down. Thanks.
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Replies

  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,284 MFP Moderator
    You can either start today, and take it one day at a time... and next week you'll be further along than you are today... OR you can give up before you get started and be in the same place next week that you are in this one. You CAN do this. Try looking at it not as an 'ultimate goal' but as you getting healthier. You don't have to hit that 'ultimate goal weight'. You just have to be better tomorrow than you were today.

    Sending you hugs, lady. You can do this if you put your mind to it.
  • yarwell
    yarwell Posts: 10,477 Member
    I have a friend who turned 30 in a similar position and with a growing number of health issues joined up to a local slimming club with a couple of friends and knuckled down to what will be a 2 year effort for her too.

    "Thirty and thin" might be a goal to aim for. Find changes to food and activities that you like and can sustain.
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
    Those are great ideas! Thank you!!

    Sometimes it's nice to just feel like I have support. I have NO ONE supporting me in my imediate family or life. It's rather sad and pathetic. It's hard to keep going when surrounded by other fat people that don't want to change. But I need to realize, this is for me, not them! I am going to be the one happy and fit, and hopefully, I will lead by example.

    Have you guys ever wondered what it's even like to be "thin"? I've never been thin in my entire 26 years of life. EVER. I can't even begin to fathom how it will feel. In a way, I'm terrified of the unknown about it too. I think that may have a lot to do with it, as well.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    Set weight loss milestones and only focus on each milestone at a time. It could be 20lb or 10kilo milestones, reduction in clothing size etc.

    I also think you need to start looking at the positives over what you perceive to be negatives (eg time to reach final goal weight) such as all the achievements to be made along the way...reduced blood pressure, improved health, doing your first first run/walk, dancing, swimming, exercising, reduction in clothing size, being able to buy clothes of the rack, I am sure you will be able to list a whole lot of achievements to come that are relevant to you.
  • I started here just less than two years ago in a similar position, I'm 145lbs lighter and still going! XD If I can do it I know you can. Focus on day to day or week to week rather than that big, daunting number.
  • tonisha1821
    tonisha1821 Posts: 24 Member
    I'm 5'0 and weight 243. I lost 25 pounds earlier this year and then gained it all back. Yes, it's unfortunate that I gained it back, but the upside is that now I know I can do it and it's not nearly as torturous as so many people make it seem. There's no point in waiting to start or procrastinating. Once you start trying you'll start to gain more respect for yourself just for the effort. I hate that I gained the weight back, but I love that I lost it at all and now I'm preparing to start all over again from scratch and do better to maintain it this time. There's no shame in falling short. The shame is in not giving yourself a chance. You're capable of whatever you say you're capable of and you deserve a healthy lifestyle.

    When I first started my weight loss journey, I refused to look at the scale for the first month. I stepped on once to get my starting weight and then didn't check it again until 30 days out, after consistently logging my food. It took the pressure off of me to see results right then and there. When I saw that I had made progress just by trying, I was elated! Also, I like to cook so, I had a lot of fun looking up and trying out new recipes. I also researched cardio exercises. Walking is best for beginners and once that got to be too easy and I wasn't burning as many calories, I'd try jogging intermittently I started with 30 minutes of walking. My next stage was 9 minutes of walking 1 minute of jogging. Then 8 minutes of walking 2 minutes of jogging. Then 7 minutes of walking and 3 minutes of jogging and so on and so forth. On the days I didn't feel like getting on the treadmill, I took my jump rope outside and set a goal to jumprope for the entire duration of one of my favorite songs. Most importantly though, I stopped telling myself that I could not do it and that I was fat and nothing was ever going to change. Your mindset is most important of all. Getting started is only as hard as you make it.
  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
    I started here just less than two years ago in a similar position, I'm 145lbs lighter and still going! XD If I can do it I know you can. Focus on day to day or week to week rather than that big, daunting number.

    Congratulations on your super achievement love :)
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
    yes, it seems so easy when you guys put it like that. I suppose the depression it's put me in has an effect on it. But I will overcome this. It's certainly mind over matter. ALL mental. 100%.

    Congrats Pretty_little!
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    Can you talk to a therapist? If you are in a depression cycle, it will help a lot and make everything easier.
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
    I'm 5'0 and weight 243. I lost 25 pounds earlier this year and then gained it all back. Yes, it's unfortunate that I gained it back, but the upside is that now I know I can do it and it's not nearly as torturous as so many people make it seem. There's no point in waiting to start or procrastinating. Once you start trying you'll start to gain more respect for yourself just for the effort. I hate that I gained the weight back, but I love that I lost it at all and now I'm preparing to start all over again from scratch and do better to maintain it this time. There's no shame in falling short. The shame is in not giving yourself a chance. You're capable of whatever you say you're capable of and you deserve a healthy lifestyle.

    When I first started my weight loss journey, I refused to look at the scale for the first month. I stepped on once to get my starting weight and then didn't check it again until 30 days out, after consistently logging my food. It took the pressure off of me to see results right then and there. When I saw that I had made progress just by trying, I was elated! Also, I like to cook so, I had a lot of fun looking up and trying out new recipes. I also researched cardio exercises. Walking is best for beginners and once that got to be too easy and I wasn't burning as many calories, I'd try jogging intermittently I started with 30 minutes of walking. My next stage was 9 minutes of walking 1 minute of jogging. Then 8 minutes of walking 2 minutes of jogging. Then 7 minutes of walking and 3 minutes of jogging and so on and so forth. On the days I didn't feel like getting on the treadmill, I took my jump rope outside and set a goal to jumprope for the entire duration of one of my favorite songs. Most importantly though, I stopped telling myself that I could not do it and that I was fat and nothing was ever going to change. Your mindset is most important of all. Getting started is only as hard as you make it.

    Absolutely! Thank you!!

    And congrats. Sounds like you are exactly where you need to be. Great tip on the scale idea. May have to put it in the garage till Christmas ;)
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
    aggelikik wrote: »
    Can you talk to a therapist? If you are in a depression cycle, it will help a lot and make everything easier.

    I actually already see one! She knows my struggle with food. For some reason, I'm having a hard time snapping out of this feeling of hopelessness towards food. And only food. Nothing else in my life is like this. Just my weight loss/food problems.
  • chulipa
    chulipa Posts: 650 Member
    You need friends on mfp it has helped me alot since i dont have a lot of family support it just me and my husband and he is not over weight so if you would like to add me you can i still have all most 100 lbs to lose
  • I started where you are now. I was 329lbs at 5'7". Losing half my body weight seemed impossible, and my issues with food were complex. I set myself small goals. Track my food each day, go for a short walk each day or do 10 mins on a (cheap) exercise cycle I acquired, lose 5kg. That was all. If I focused on needing to lose 75kg, it was immense, but 5kg I could manage. It's amazing how quickly it added up. As I went along I changed my goals and challenged myself so that I would be fit as well as much healthier when I got to goal.

    The other thing I did was set my calorie goal to a reasonable deficit. I knew if I was going to lose weight long term then 1200 calories wasn't going to work for me. I need to be able to have some of the food I love or I would binge. So I ignored sodium, sugar and carbs, and ate ice cream or chocolate or chips if I wanted some. BUT, my portions were weighed and tracked, and I stuck to my calorie goal. Moderation worked where fads and crazes never had. Over time I started paying attention to macros and added in heavy lifting, but at the start it's sustainability that's important. End result, it took me 2 years but I lost 71kg, I'm happy with my size and I've been maintaining for around 18 months.

    Weight loss is very much a mental thing, but you CAN do it :)
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    2 years are going to pass whether you lose weight or not. In two years, if you don't start today, you will be wishing you did. It will be a cycle you will never escape if you don't get working now.

    Start easing into it. Set yourself one goal at a time. Maybe one week it could be walking more. Next week it could be drinking more water. Little steps with yield big changes. Not everything needs to be done at once.
  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
    I do hope the superb posts of people who had a similar amount to lose as you can inspire you to start your weight loss journey.
  • melonaulait
    melonaulait Posts: 769 Member
    It doesn't matter how much you have to lose. I have to lose half my body weight to be on the slim side, but right now I am happy with just the 13kg I've lost so far. Every little bit will make you more excited, no matter how long it takes you!
  • eeede
    eeede Posts: 88 Member
    I was in the same situation. I had half of my weight to loose, 130 lbs (60kgs).
    It's huge, it really huge. But what choice do we have? Or we try to change something and lose or where will we be in 5/10/20 years?
    I'm just 27, I don't want to not be able to walk at 40 or even before.
    I have divided my goal in two halves -30kg / - 60kg.
    I also make small victories with my BMI (for example under 40), /5kg...

    Also, I understood weight loss is not linear and sometimes you can gain back a little not because you did something wrong but because of fluctuation (ToM for example).
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    The 2+ years are going to pass whether you're losing weight or not, right? You might as well work on losing the weight so that 2+ years from now you're in maintenance, not still looking at 2+ years of losing.

    Just do what you need to do without worrying about the time, because that's time is going to pass just the same either way.
  • lindabortner
    lindabortner Posts: 20 Member
    Set small goals and celebrate small losses. I set 5 pound weight loss goals 46 pounds ago. Read as many inspirational weight loss stories as you can. When i feel like binge-eating, I watch my 600 pound life, And that usually keeps me motivated. I believe in you. You can do it. Do not think of this as a diet. Think of this as a new way of life. Most thin people i know eat healthier and exercise.
  • vivmom2014
    vivmom2014 Posts: 1,649 Member
    chulipa wrote: »
    You need friends on mfp it has helped me alot since i dont have a lot of family support it just me and my husband and he is not over weight so if you would like to add me you can i still have all most 100 lbs to lose

    I would feel overwhelmed too. But just start.

    Doing something will feel better than doing nothing. Taking a stand will move you forward; caving into a feeling of defeat will keep you stuck.

    Press on. Believe in the small doses. You. Will. Get. There.



  • AspenDan
    AspenDan Posts: 703 Member
    edited November 2015
    Welp...100lbs ago I knew I had to lose weight, and I tried..and I failed 2 days in...then 50lbs ago I tried again and failed maybe 2 weeks in..

    My point is that, imo, someone needs to be mentally prepared to fully commit to the caloric deficit lifestyle. It takes lots of little sacrifices every day, all day, in hopes for an awesome reward far in the future...that takes commitment, and if you fail don't be too tough on yourself, but just keep working on it.

    TLDR is that some people take a while to mentally prepare, and if you fail, possibly you're not ready for that commitment...BUT TRY, TRY AGAIN!






  • Madwife2009
    Madwife2009 Posts: 1,369 Member
    I understand the overwhelming feeling when looking at the long-term weight loss. I worked out that I needed to lose the equivalent of one and a half times my oldest daughter when I started. Over half of my body weight (actually closer to 60%) at the time. It seems completely insurmountable and that's enough to put anyone off even trying.

    However, the weight isn't going to miraculously disappear. I've spent long enough ignoring my weight issue to know this.

    I told myself that there was only one person who can make a difference and that the time to deal with it was then. Not the day after, not the following week/month/year. I'm now 15 weeks from that day and 48lbs lighter. I am SO glad that I decided to start dealing with my weight all of those weeks ago as that's 48lbs I don't have to deal with any more. I feel so much better and I'm fitter as I walk miles (believe me, the first walk I took once I started was a killer. I had to rest for a long time before walking back again). And the long-term goal doesn't seem so bad any more either, because I KNOW that I will get there, and I will maintain that end goal, even though I am still taking it one day at a time and one lb at a time.

    I think that what I'm trying to say is that you have to start somewhere and at some point. Why wait? Now is better than tomorrow, or next week, or next year.

    Best of luck
  • ShashayLee
    ShashayLee Posts: 178 Member
    in this online community you have many people in the same boat as you. I find reading posts helps keep me motivated & on track. I've started and restarted many times over the years. I restarted again back in late May & this time now i find that even if i am challenged i am able to get back on track within a few weeks, i have never done that before, this is huge for me.
    I'm still allowing myself some kind of occasional treats worked into my calories. This is not a diet, it is my lifestyle change. I'm down 66 pounds now
    Start now, one step at a time, one meal at a time or one day at a time, whatever works for you. Small goals is much better than thinking of the end amount
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Try thinking of your weight in 10 lb increments. If you think of the whole picture, that's when it gets overwhelming. Go for 10 at a time. Small bites. If you don't start now, time will continue on anyway and do you really want to be in the same place a month from now?
  • ShashayLee
    ShashayLee Posts: 178 Member
    wow, very motivating posts everyone, you all have got me motivated more!
    and if anyone is looking for mfp friends feel free to add me :)
    all the best you everyone in their journey to health
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    Those are great ideas! Thank you!!

    Sometimes it's nice to just feel like I have support. I have NO ONE supporting me in my imediate family or life. It's rather sad and pathetic. It's hard to keep going when surrounded by other fat people that don't want to change. But I need to realize, this is for me, not them! I am going to be the one happy and fit, and hopefully, I will lead by example.

    Have you guys ever wondered what it's even like to be "thin"? I've never been thin in my entire 26 years of life. EVER. I can't even begin to fathom how it will feel. In a way, I'm terrified of the unknown about it too. I think that may have a lot to do with it, as well.

    Remember what you said here today. When you have lost your weight (yes when), perhaps they'll see that they can too. And then you can show this to them when they ask you the same question.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    I'm the only "thin" person in my obese family. Exercise makes the difference in my gene pool (not like killing yourself at the gym, but just being active overall). But eating also contributes. I didn't have quite the same amount to lose as you, but here's what I wanted to share.

    The first 30 or so is the hardest. That's when you're fighting to learn a new mindset and attitude. The next 150 are just continuing to do the same thing. Yes, it can feel like a long slog. But after the first 30-50 it just becomes your lifestyle. I found I stopped looking at the big picture of oh my god I have to keep doing this for two years, and all I thought about was today. Today I'll have oatmeal for breakfast. Today I'll walk the mall. Tonight I'll make pot roast and then ride my bike. I only had to think of today. And then after 2 years of getting through today (and of course there were birthdays and sad days in there too) one day I woke up and was a "normal" BMI.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    If the big picture is overwhelming you---don't think about that, just start, and say "I'll see how far I can go". It's important to start. Get your digital food scale, start weighing and measuring everything and try to stay within your MFP calorie goal. Will you make a mistake? Will you backtrack? Sure. Everyone does. Just get back on track the next day and keep on truckin'. Try to move more. Walking is good to start, if you have access to a pool, swimming is easier on the joints. As you lose and feel better, you'll branch out with other exercise. People, and especially family, may say dumb things. Be prepared. Do not let them derail you. Weight loss and fitness are just small everyday things--it's not as hard as you may think. Start today, and in 2 years (which will fly by) you'll have a success story for us to read. Best of luck--and NEVER give up.
  • cnbbnc
    cnbbnc Posts: 1,267 Member
    Think of it this way. It may take you quite sometime to get where you want to be. Maybe it will be a couple years.... BUT....those two years are going to go by regardless, so would you prefer to be healthier/happier two years down the road, or still be where you are now and feeling bad?

    The other thing I'll say is not to get too consumed by the big picture. Break your goals down. Small steps. Mini goals.

    Have you looked at all the success stories on the forum here? If not, I would start looking at it. There are plenty of people who have lost considerable amounts of weight there, and I find it very inspiring.

    You CAN do this. Do not for one second tell yourself you can't. Ever.
  • Eligis
    Eligis Posts: 1 Member
    It's not necesary to start hardcore workout from the beginning, jogging few times a week 20min in the morning more then enough to boost your metabolism. Weight loss is mostly about right nutrition, keeping it strict. P.S from personal experiance, and if you dont like feeling starving I recommend looking into ketogenic diet.
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