How does everyone else deal with negative people?

Cook cookies, do the swap, eat two cookies, give rest away. Stick to sensible plan, lose the weight, keep it off and prove the *kitten* wrong.

Easy.

So its not just me. I had a "friend" from church say something very similar milar 3/4 weeks ago, it has been a struggle for me ever sense. It is a if my brain and body are now our of sync, I actually gained weight and its taken me 3+ weeks to lose the 3 pounds. Ugh!!!! I don't know what to say or do!!!!

We have got to find a way to get back to our goals, hopes and hard work!!!!!



quote="sdcamp3020;10283764"]My "friend" called me on Friday because I hadn't signed up for our annual Christmas cookie swap. I reminded her that I was dedicated to my diet and keeping my sugars down. Her response was "You know you are going to gain all that weight and more back within a year; so why punish yourself and everyone else. I am just going to put you down for your grandmother's oatmeal cookies." I refused again; but it planted that seed of doubt and I have spent all weekend struggling with the urge to give up and binge. How do you deal with negative people?[/quote]

That is a tough call. If you can't have them in the house without gorging yourself....you have to decide weather its worth missing out on a holiday tradition for.
I find it empowering to have 'high cal treats' in the house (halloween is tough) and not indulge. If you aren't there yet mentally......you may have to skip it.
Screw the haters. Use their negative energy to fuel your passion to stick it in their faces when you succeed long term.

It took me a long time to understand that the actions of other people are beyond my control, but my reactions are very much my choice. I choose not to give others the power to disturb me- hard to do at first, but easier with practice.

Sometimes people are jealous and negative for that reason unfortunately ... My really good friend has been negative to my recent 40 pound weight loss bcz she is still overweight ... I've never made her feel bad or brag to her ...yet, she still has made a few comments similar to what your friend did ... I'm not saying she's necessarily jealous about the weight loss but maybe more jealous that you are totally dedicate to something ... Which I say, AWESOME job on your dedication!!! I work in cardiology and I can't tell you enough how that's helped to change my view on the way I eat ... I'm a lot more health conscious and that's wonderful that you are too ... So, what to do about negative people??? Ignore them... Stick with your goals and keep your head up bcz at the end of the day... It's all about you.

You [enthusiastically] share what you're doing to improve your life, and instead of a "way to go", you get your efforts stomped on for your trouble instead. Been there, done that. Pick yourself up, know what you're doing is right, and that when its all said and done, more people than you'll ever care for (count-wise) will be asking you how you did it

As for this particular situation, it seems a friend/acquaintance really hurt you, and this could be an opportunity to hopefully calmly express that it wasn't okay.

Sometimes you just have to be stubborn and stick to your guns. A very important part of weight loss or any life style change is to surround yourself with supporters! If you stick by your decisions people will eventually support you or they might fall gently by the wayside.

sdcamp3020 wrote: »

My "friend" called me on Friday because I hadn't signed up for our annual Christmas cookie swap. I reminded her that I was dedicated to my diet and keeping my sugars down. Her response was "You know you are going to gain all that weight and more back within a year; so why punish yourself and everyone else. I am just going to put you down for your grandmother's oatmeal cookies." I refused again; but it planted that seed of doubt and I have spent all weekend struggling with the urge to give up and binge. How do you deal with negative people?

thats exactly what your silly friend wants you to do give up and then she will be happy. So make sure she never talks to you like that again, and also decide if you want to particpate in a cookie swap or not. Its your decision.
People only get away with what we allow them to.

It's about the cookies but not about the cookies.

1. She is a sabbateur... Distance yourself from her.

2. Life will happen and you can't always avoid social situations. If you want to go - go for you. Make some super healthy cookies to avoid having to bake junk. The cookies you receive? Put them on a table and let the others eat them. Take a healthy snack for you. I made some apple carrot muffins with whole wheat flower sweetened with banana for a breakfast party. There are many recipes that will support your new way of eating.

I'm still early in my weight loss journey, but find when I can incorporate my new way of eating into my old lifestyle I feel less deprived and isolated. It took me a few weeks of hibernating and staying out of the way of temptation but now I found my rhythm it's easier to get back to life and my friends.

All my friends support me. This lady is not your friend.

She is not a "friend" so she will be easy to drop.
Regarding the cookies: make some for yourself or the people that you love or do not make any at all this year. It is up to you. This is your path and these are your decisions.

I do not do cookie swaps or anything else like that. I am comfortable with a small treat a few times a week.

sdcamp3020 wrote: »

Thanks everyone! I have always appreciated her outspoken personality; but, this time she went too far, Anyway, feeling better now. The cookies are my favorite recipe from my Grandmother.

1c. Crisco 1c sugar 1c brown sugar 2 eggs 1-1/2c flour 3c oats 1c chopped pecans 1tsp vanilla

Cream together Crisco and sugars. Add eggs. Add flour, oats and nuts a little at a time until all are mixed in well. Form into rolls and wrap with parchment paper then aluminum foil. Chill at least 3-5 hours but best overnight. Slice and bake at 350° until very lightly brown. Let cool completely.

cookies sound really nice. thanks for the recipe
so what have you decided to do in terms of making the cookies, and dealing with your friends personality?

Those cookies sound delicious. I can understand not wanting all of them in the house. When we made cookies for Christmas last year I had to take them to work because I found it very hard to have so many around the house.

I would probably just not talk to the friend at this point. I don't have room in my life for rude people and I have no problem dropping contact with people who act like that.

I put up with a lot of that negativity too. I was told that I "look terrible" and "you're just hurting yourself". It's crap. Remind them that your health is more important. You might have to be "mean" but it's the only thing. Otherwise, you might need to push those people away. You deserve better.

This post reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

So, my I'm feeling that this is not about the cookies. Without knowing anything about your friend I'd venture to guess that she doesn't have a healthy lifestyle, doesn't workout, doesn't care about nutrition and has no plans to do anything about it.
I think her negativity stems from her own insecurities -- She has to sabotage your success in order to feel "safe"

Even if she felt that maybe there is a sensible way of engaging in the cookie swap while maintaining balance and blah, blah, blah - her jarring response to your refusal seems unwarranted.

In saying "so why punish yourself and everyone else." she is trying to guilt you and manipulate into giving up your choice.
And in disregarding your response and putting down for the cookies anyway, she is totally dismissing your feelings, which is insulting.

I think that her response is not only negative, but disrespectful. This is beyond the cookies.
I think she feel threatened by your lifestyle change. She probably feels like she's going to be left behind and she intends to drag you down with her.

Sorry. That's not a friend. Surround yourself with people that lift you higher.

You've said no to the cookie swap, so I suggest you leave it at that as far as that acquaintance is concerned. People like that, you give them an inch and they take a mile. If she asks later where are your grandma's cookies, remind her you already said no.

For energy suckers, I use a "boundaries" technique. The good and grateful people accept my boundaries. The dweebs get struck from the list.

A quickie article on energy vampires. I spend time with people who are supportive and energizing. The rest get the leftovers.