How does everyone else deal with negative people?

sdcamp3020 wrote: »

Thanks everyone! I have always appreciated her outspoken personality; but, this time she went too far, Anyway, feeling better now. The cookies are my favorite recipe from my Grandmother.

1c. Crisco 1c sugar 1c brown sugar 2 eggs 1-1/2c flour 3c oats 1c chopped pecans 1tsp vanilla

Cream together Crisco and sugars. Add eggs. Add flour, oats and nuts a little at a time until all are mixed in well. Form into rolls and wrap with parchment paper then aluminum foil. Chill at least 3-5 hours but best overnight. Slice and bake at 350° until very lightly brown. Let cool completely.

cookies sound really nice. thanks for the recipe
so what have you decided to do in terms of making the cookies, and dealing with your friends personality?

Those cookies sound delicious. I can understand not wanting all of them in the house. When we made cookies for Christmas last year I had to take them to work because I found it very hard to have so many around the house.

I would probably just not talk to the friend at this point. I don't have room in my life for rude people and I have no problem dropping contact with people who act like that.

I put up with a lot of that negativity too. I was told that I "look terrible" and "you're just hurting yourself". It's crap. Remind them that your health is more important. You might have to be "mean" but it's the only thing. Otherwise, you might need to push those people away. You deserve better.

This post reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

So, my I'm feeling that this is not about the cookies. Without knowing anything about your friend I'd venture to guess that she doesn't have a healthy lifestyle, doesn't workout, doesn't care about nutrition and has no plans to do anything about it.
I think her negativity stems from her own insecurities -- She has to sabotage your success in order to feel "safe"

Even if she felt that maybe there is a sensible way of engaging in the cookie swap while maintaining balance and blah, blah, blah - her jarring response to your refusal seems unwarranted.

In saying "so why punish yourself and everyone else." she is trying to guilt you and manipulate into giving up your choice.
And in disregarding your response and putting down for the cookies anyway, she is totally dismissing your feelings, which is insulting.

I think that her response is not only negative, but disrespectful. This is beyond the cookies.
I think she feel threatened by your lifestyle change. She probably feels like she's going to be left behind and she intends to drag you down with her.

Sorry. That's not a friend. Surround yourself with people that lift you higher.

You've said no to the cookie swap, so I suggest you leave it at that as far as that acquaintance is concerned. People like that, you give them an inch and they take a mile. If she asks later where are your grandma's cookies, remind her you already said no.

For energy suckers, I use a "boundaries" technique. The good and grateful people accept my boundaries. The dweebs get struck from the list.

A quickie article on energy vampires. I spend time with people who are supportive and energizing. The rest get the leftovers.

sdcamp3020 wrote: »

My "friend" called me on Friday because I hadn't signed up for our annual Christmas cookie swap. I reminded her that I was dedicated to my diet and keeping my sugars down. Her response was "You know you are going to gain all that weight and more back within a year; so why punish yourself and everyone else. I am just going to put you down for your grandmother's oatmeal cookies." I refused again; but it planted that seed of doubt and I have spent all weekend struggling with the urge to give up and binge. How do you deal with negative people?

Her negative comment was completely rude and inappropriate.

But food is an important piece of our cultural glue. It is at the heart of pretty much any social event I go to - especially this time of year. If I can't make peace with it, both loss and maintaining are much more challenging in the long run.

I'm baking 35 pumpkin pies over the next week and a half - some will be served at events I will attend, about half I'll hand over and not see eaten. I love baking, and I love providing food that people enjoy. I eat what I need in advance, figure out what I can safely eat at the event, or take some staples with me. That way I can enjoy the communion with loved ones without feeling the need to eat things my body can't handle.

If you enjoy baking, and whatever festivities that go along with the cookie exchange, take part in it - and drop the cookies you receive off at a local soup kitchen on the way home. They will really appreciate it - that's where about 20 of my pies will go.