Tired of people "helping"? I definitely am.

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Replies

  • juliebowman4
    juliebowman4 Posts: 784 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    Just smile and nod.

    Everyone has an opinion. You do you and just let their well-meant advice go in one ear and out the other.

    This.

    Haha, your sister-in-law should meet my brother.
    The one who advised me I should only eat 900 calories a day.
    -eye roll-

  • beachhouse758
    beachhouse758 Posts: 371 Member
    edited November 2015
    The conversation should have gone like this:

    sister: You're doing really well! Nice job!
    me: Thanks! How are you doing?

    That's it. No more.

    Your ambivalence about whether you will be able to achieve your goals gave her the impression that you need or are asking for help.


  • melonaulait
    melonaulait Posts: 769 Member
    The only funny suggestion I have received so far was when I first began my journey here and right off the bat my bf was like "how about you stop eating carbs?" That doesn't reeeeally work for me being a vegetarian and all, and besides I wasn't looking to change up my diet completely anyway.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    I really enjoyed reading this becase, yep, I've been there. I have learned not to engage in a manner that opens the door for further conversation.

    Congrats on your weight loss. Job well done!
  • frankiesgirlie
    frankiesgirlie Posts: 667 Member
    Working2BLean wrote: »
    We as past fat people have a track record of failing when it comes to managing food.

    People will offer help. After all, it was the previous norm for us to fail at managing food.

    Just because we have gotten a handle on managing food does not get us a ticker tape parade. It does not erase our past

    So yeah, people may offer help.

    It is good the conversation is about fitness and people are having it with you. Maybe you can redirect things.

    I don't think mentioning how slow things are going is helping you though. It seems to be taken as an invitation for them to share and contribute to your success

    It does not seem malicious.


    Not everyone on MFP is a former fat person. Not that there's anything wrong with being a fat person or former fat person, but a lot of people are here because like me they got sick of being in shape/out of shape or got tired of losing and gaining the same 10 or so vanity lbs. , and are looking to get long term results.
    The family conversations are the same type though:
    Sister (who is 40 or so lbs overweight)--"I heard you're the workout queen lately".
    Me (who is excited about my new fit MFP lifestyle)---"yeah, I've really gotten into exercise big time, I'm loving it"
    Sister--"and you're on some kind of diet??"
    Me--"No, no diet. I just track my calories on MFP"
    Sister--"Oh. Well maybe someday I'll have time for that. Right now it's all about taking care of my family"
    Me--Snickering inside--"yeah maybe someday you will"

    Holy crap--give me strength!!
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    125goals wrote: »
    World war 3 problems.

    How is that?
  • afatpersonwholikesfood
    afatpersonwholikesfood Posts: 577 Member
    queenliz99 wrote: »
    125goals wrote: »
    World war 3 problems.

    How is that?

    I believe the poster meant "first world problems". Meaning that the OP's problem is actually a total non-problem.
  • Domicinator
    Domicinator Posts: 261 Member
    Well, for the record, during the two days of Thanksgiving gatherings I attended last week, just saying "thanks" totally worked. I honestly got ZERO suggestions. Just lots of complements and "how did you do it?". I never said whether I'm done losing or not. I never said if I'm happy with where I am now or not. I just said "thanks".

    I think another thing that helped was that I ate. (Honestly, I overate a bit and gained a pound.) People seeing me able to enjoy some extra appetizers and drinks but still have my weight under control was probably enough to keep them off my back. ;)
  • kpk54
    kpk54 Posts: 4,474 Member
    Yay! Thanks for the update. I was wondering how it went / how you handled the day.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    Just feel blessed for the success.

    "Thanks for noticing. I'll keep that in mind."
  • dalielahdawn
    dalielahdawn Posts: 141 Member
    edited December 2015
    But, did you start lifting weights yet? You should.
    :-P
    Congrats on you loss!!
  • USAFmaa
    USAFmaa Posts: 8 Member
    In response to these "helpful" responses, my reply is "oh well thank you for the advice but so far what I'm doing is working so I'll just stick to that." Politest way I thought of to say that I don't want any suggestions, but direct to stop the incessant conversation. :) enjoy the holidays!

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