How is the MFPer above going to die?

Smothered under a pile of hot men.

Eaten by pirhanas

Finally pulled the sword out of the stone, but accidentally stabbed himself.

Trampled by a horse and buggy due to crossing a street while texting and not paying attention in an Amish community

fell into the shark tank at the aquarium

Ate too much turkey and burst a gut.

Choked on a turkey bone

^^ I had to Google that

Slipped on a cranberry and fell out the window