We broke up because...
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Because she wanted to know how to dougie when I preferred to twerk!0
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Found her twerking with a bunch of naked guys in the bedroom.0
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I revealed that my hair isn't actually red0
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She was a liar!0
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I was testing him and he failed0
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When I said I was fine, it obviously meant that I was not!0
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She was too hot and cold.0
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Liked sleeping with the stuffed animals more than me0
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When she cleaned the floors she demanded that I yell "SWEEP"0
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Had a whip and used it. Not in a sexy way.0
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Didn't like that I knew how to ride0
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Never got off her high horse0
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Wouldn't let me strut in heels0
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Was extremely clumsy in heels.0
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His house was an obstacle course0
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She ate all the pumpkin pie0
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I asked for pumpkin pie and she made me yam pie and said "same thing"0
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She loved thst spray can whipped cream...like Really loved it.0
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He didn't all of my pranks0
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He was the star of leaked porn vids...0
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His online ratings weren't high enough from the secret video tapes0
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He did not have a great appreciation for the great things in life i.e., The Good Wife! We just had to break up.0
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She wouldn't give me a back rub while her shows were on.0
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She left body oil stains on everything.0
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He was too clingy. Followed me around and would give me personal time0
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We just drifted apart0
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He didn't share his coffee0
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He didn't like to share with me0
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