What you don't want to hear....

AnaNotBanana
AnaNotBanana Posts: 963 Member
edited September 28 in Chit-Chat
I heard a story on NPR about a guy that had brain cancer. He wrote a book about things NOT to say to people who have serious/terminal illnesses. One of the things he said was he didn't like when people said "You look great" when his hair was falling out in clumps.

It got me thinking what are some of the things that you don't like hearing from people as a result of your weight loss?? I hate it when people say "Wow, you look so much better!!" like I looked awful before?! What are some of the things that people have said to you that were rude/inappropriate/awkward as a result of your weight loss??
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Replies

  • DKev
    DKev Posts: 266 Member
    "You're even starting to lose some of that baby belly!" (My "baby" is nearly 6!)
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    My husband has terrible foot-in-mouth disease -- even though he's absolutely wonderful, he often says things without realizing how they sound... like, "I never realized how HUGE you were before!"

    A couple others that lots of people have said that bothered me:

    "You look like a totally different person!"

    "I could barely recognize you!"

    Now, however, I'm coming to peace with those two comments because, in reality, I do look like a different person - a healthy, more youthful person.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    "what are you starving yourself?"....
    "you? go to the gym? yeah right"
    "you lost weight? you can't really tell"


    just to name a few
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    "Oh are you doing a low carb thing?"
  • divades
    divades Posts: 145
    For me, it's "you don't need to lose any more weight". While it sounds like a compliment and I know they don't mean any harm by it, it can be irritating, especially since they can't seem this layer of belly fat that I hide so well.
  • sarahbear1981
    sarahbear1981 Posts: 610 Member
    Dad says " How much have you lost so far?"
    Me "30 pounds"
    Dad "Hey if you loose another 30 people might start to notice"
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    As long as it's not along the lines of, "You looked better when you weighed more." I don't care what they say!

    I know my arms, legs, belly, back and chins looked worse. That's why I lost weight.
  • LilChickPea
    LilChickPea Posts: 122 Member
    "Glad you're finally doing something about it."
  • annacataldo
    annacataldo Posts: 872 Member
    My boyfriend said one of his good friends told him that "she'd be gorgeous if she were 150pounds".. its great that he thinks im pretty, but i have to be skinny to be gorgeous..

    my boyfriend just yesterday said "your looking really good these days"... now at the time i took it as a good compliment, but then now that u mention it, did i not look good before? I know this is not what he meant; he fell in love with me 40pounds ago; but still LOL.
  • Kayamooh
    Kayamooh Posts: 45 Member
    When people say "oh, she's on a diet" or "how's your diet going?"

    I'm not on a diet! I'm just changing my diet! and there is a difference in that.

    I'm not doing things strictly, I'm not avoiding foods, I haven't made a huge change.
    But I've made a small change that's significant. It's not a short term "diet".
  • TakuraHunt
    TakuraHunt Posts: 208
    Its about time you came out of denial... REALLY...
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I had to add a few more:

    "WHAT DIET ARE YOU FOLLOWING?"

    "HAVE YOU TRIED HCG?"

    "DID YOU STOP EATING CARBS?"

    "WHAT KIND OF PILLS ARE YOU TAKING?"

    ***** My answer to all of the above - THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL OR SUPER DIET!!! Eat nutritious, well balanced meals and snacks, drink lots of water, and MOVE your body!!!!
  • "why are you losing weight; you dont need to lose weight"
    mind you i was over 250lbs(and started at 280lbs) when people started saying this and still saying this at 235lbs
    "when are you going to be done losing weight"
  • SecretlyBatwoman
    SecretlyBatwoman Posts: 79 Member
    I had to add a few more:

    "WHAT DIET ARE YOU FOLLOWING?"

    "HAVE YOU TRIED HCG?"

    "DID YOU STOP EATING CARBS?"

    "WHAT KIND OF PILLS ARE YOU TAKING?"

    ***** My answer to all of the above - THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL OR SUPER DIET!!! Eat nutritious, well balanced meals and snacks, drink lots of water, and MOVE your body!!!!

    THIS.
  • kgs0201
    kgs0201 Posts: 459 Member
    When someone else makes a comment about my weigh loss and a "friend" responds... "She doesn't eat anymore" ... umm how about I eat responsibly and exercise! They just totally brush off all of the hard work and commitment I put in to lose weight and make it sound like I've been doing it the unhealthy way.
  • mywaytobeingfit
    mywaytobeingfit Posts: 17 Member
    ** "Don't lose any more weight. Your getting too skinny". (Where they have only known me 2-4 years)

    Then you see other people and you worked so hard and they don't notice. Since those people knew you 8 years ago and according to them they are probably thinking, "Wow she gained weight" but at least they don't say it.

    **Or like the other day my sweet friend said, "Wow that is a great picture! When was it taken? (I tell her yesterday. She glances at me) and then says "Really??"

    **or my favorite one is hard. I will hear friends after watching the Biggest Loser Finale take about how awful someones arms are and their skin hanging. It hurts. Because that is me. I think I am more confident with my body in the winter. But I'm trying to get over it.
  • DeadlyDame13
    DeadlyDame13 Posts: 197 Member
    You have SUCH a pretty face its just your belly you need to work on....LIKE OK AM I MADE OF PLAY DUH??? LET ME MOLD U A SIX PACK SO U CAN SHUT IT ...
  • divades
    divades Posts: 145
    Another one is when people try to tell me what I can and cannot eat - "she can't get that, she's on a diet"
  • Finnity
    Finnity Posts: 1
    I've had four people ask me if I had weight-loss surgery. I don't know why it bothers me so bad . . .
    Also, I hate hate hate it when they ask me what my goal is and then tell me, "thats unrealistic. You can't lose that much because you're not that heavy." Well guess what, I can, I am, and I will! I weigh 255 lbs, and I don't need anyone trying to feed me sugar-coated lies about it, either. I'm 5'8" tall, and I think 155 lbs is a perfectly reasonable goal weight!
  • Cristy_AZ
    Cristy_AZ Posts: 986
    What pills are you taking?

    Which plan are you on?

    Are you doing that 700 calorie a day thing? (really!! I get that ALL the time at work, I don’t even know what they are referring to, honestly!!!)

    And the off-handed remarks…. Like “I want to sit in her chair” (from someone at the office, I really wanted to say, “sure as long as you get out of it and work your *kitten* off at 5 am every morning, that’ll work for you!!”)

    AND…. For the biggie and I know it’s just me… is SKINNY…

    Look how SKINNY you are getting!!
    There goes Skinny Mini!

    First off I’m just barely out of obese and slowly working my way from overweight to healthy and am no where near skinny… but also, I’ve BEEN skinny… unhealthy, underweight, sick looking, no muscles… THAT’s what skinny means to me so I just hate the word (yea, I have issues, I’m aware!!! :wink: )
  • AnaNotBanana
    AnaNotBanana Posts: 963 Member
    It always shocks me when people say certain things....like they know what is best for you.
  • circusmom
    circusmom Posts: 662 Member
    "Your 40 your not going to look like you did in your 20's" just typing that pissed me off!!!!
    "You've had 4 kids, you can't expect to look like you did before they came along"
    " Your not feeding your kids diet food are you?" well do you mean whole foods rather than processed, than yes I am!
  • smason1284
    smason1284 Posts: 25 Member
    I really hate it when I see someone I haven't seen for awhile and they are like "oh my have you lost weight" Even if I haven't I feel like I need to lie and say "yea I have!"
  • mheightchew
    mheightchew Posts: 334
    I get the "Which surgery did you have?" question a lot. I'm not knocking people who have had surgery at all. My doctor actually recommended that I do it. I just hadn't really tried to do it on my own yet and wanted to try that route first.

    And I hate it when people ask me how much I work out, and I tell them I aim for 6 days a week, they say, "Don't you think that's a little obsesive?" NO I DO NOT!!! This is now my hobby! I enjoy it and it's healthy. You play beer pong 6 days a week, I work out lol To each his own
  • jessdeweerdt
    jessdeweerdt Posts: 128
    what I actually hate most is what is not said.. when someone you haven't seen for awhile eyes you up and down (sometimes multiple times) and doesn't say anything. I can't tell if they're thinking something is different, but can't place it, or if they think I've gained and don't want to say it.... and also when I KNOW that I look better than I did a month ago, and no one notices!
  • I have two blubbery cousins who take turns at cheap shots. I join them for dinner at an elderly uncles house to give the "old guy" some company. First there was disbelief, when I explained that I needed to make different meal choices, like there was no way weight loss was ever going to happen.

    When the first 20 dropped one cousin asked "How much weight have you lost?" When I responded with 20 pounds, the other said, "Well, you can't tell!"

    Once the 30 pound loss was hit, I was tag teamed again! One said, "Wow - you've really dropped weight!" Only to be followed up by the other doofus saying "Yeah, it really shows! Look how flabby you're getting!"

    I am thinking of making these two knuckleheads a dessert of brownies laced with x-lax!!! With my luck, my elderly uncle would eat 'em and poop himself to death! (lol!)
  • Newmammaluv
    Newmammaluv Posts: 379 Member

    I am thinking of making these two knuckleheads a dessert of brownies laced with x-lax!!! With my luck, my elderly uncle would eat 'em and poop himself to death! (lol!)

    Seriously.... just make them a care package to take home with them!!! OOO those two make MY blood boil for you!!
  • Newmammaluv
    Newmammaluv Posts: 379 Member
    I hate hearing comments about me being skinny.... ok look folks I am 234 at 5' 7" I am FAR from skinny. I am almost dredding what I will hear when I hit my goal of 160.

    Today my boss made me a little self conscious when she looked at me mid sentance and said "holy cr@p!! How much weight have you lost? I can REALLY tell it in your face."
  • KickassYas
    KickassYas Posts: 397 Member
    my personal favorite is "you're gonna look so hot when you lose all that weight."

    there's also the "and you're not diabetic!?!?" really people!?!? REALLY!!?!? geez.

    and the ever popular "but you have such a pretty face"

    also the rendition of that being "wow you lost weight! you can see it in your face." really? because i want you to see it on my *kitten*.
  • cerob
    cerob Posts: 13 Member
    When someone else makes a comment about my weigh loss and a "friend" responds... "She doesn't eat anymore" ... umm how about I eat responsibly and exercise! They just totally brush off all of the hard work and commitment I put in to lose weight and make it sound like I've been doing it the unhealthy way.

    exactly! i have a couple friends that always respond with, "he doesn't eat" or "he has like two grains of rice for dinner." with the time and effort i've put into my diet AND exercise, it's almost insulting.
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