What you don't want to hear....

24

Replies

  • AnaNotBanana
    AnaNotBanana Posts: 963 Member
    also the rendition of that being "wow you lost weight! you can see it in your face." really? because i want you to see it on my *kitten*.


    Bahahahaha! Love your response!!!
    :laugh:
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    **or my favorite one is hard. I will hear friends after watching the Biggest Loser Finale take about how awful someones arms are and their skin hanging. It hurts. Because that is me. I think I am more confident with my body in the winter. But I'm trying to get over it.
    After dropping 90 pounds, I'm fortunate that I don't have more loose skin than I do; however, when my hubby saw me in a bikini for the first time and immediately asked if I could wear a long shirt over it, that hurt. My ribs are visible, but I do have some stretch marks and loose skin on my tummy (although it isn't all that bad) and... this is the worst - my inner thighs - I've lost many inches off my thighs, but the skin didn't bounce back from there as well as it did from my arms and other areas and it does make me self conscious.
    Still, it's better to be healthy with loose skin than obese with firm skin. I keep telling myself that and I told my hubby that, too. He apologized and hasn't said any stinkery things like that since then.
  • yanicka
    yanicka Posts: 1,004 Member
    '' you are skinny so you can it that (that being something fatty)'' Well no, actually it's because that I do not eat that that I am skinny!!!
  • shreddingit
    shreddingit Posts: 1,133 Member
    I just go around inlaws and for me them not saying anything bothers me!!! Hello 50 lbs of fat gone!!!! Can someone ask how when why!!!? No they just keep on coming up of ways to lose weight (pills,lipo,accupucture,trainers) makes me mad no one ask for my advice. Oh well there loss
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
    "You shouldn't lose too much more weight! You're looking thin."

    "How did you lose so much weight? Surgery?"
  • Lunarokra
    Lunarokra Posts: 855 Member
    what I actually hate most is what is not said.. when someone you haven't seen for awhile eyes you up and down (sometimes multiple times) and doesn't say anything. I can't tell if they're thinking something is different, but can't place it, or if they think I've gained and don't want to say it.... and also when I KNOW that I look better than I did a month ago, and no one notices!


    I agree! I had that happened to me Sunday, saw a relative from along time ago she looked me up & down and needless to say i ignored her the couple of minutes she was around.

    I know I was skinny last time she saw me, but I hate the up & down look.
  • dave_in_delaware
    dave_in_delaware Posts: 49 Member
    What I don't want to hear is the crap BEFORE I started exercising:

    "Wow. Nice spare" or "You drink a lot of beer?" or "Wow. Look at that gut" and especially derogatory comments from my own parents about my midsection's size, something along the lines of "I can tell you have a desk job" or "You look like you're always in front of a computer." WTF? From my own family? Yeah, that's my life.

    Then, when I tell people I'm starting to exercise, I get crap like:

    "You think you'll stick with it?" or "psssh, yeah, right" or I get a blank dumbfounded look.

    I want to tell people like this to just F off, but I just bite my tongue....
  • JMun
    JMun Posts: 409
    " what's your secret? "


    The secret is that there is NO bloody secret (for f*cks sake). Count calories and exercise.

    Not much of a secret there. :explode:
  • shreddingit
    shreddingit Posts: 1,133 Member
    Oh yea I remember the ladies in my building asking my hub if I was sick.
  • KariQuiteContrary
    KariQuiteContrary Posts: 274 Member
    This is probably the worst one I've heard..... "Wow that must have taken a lot of sacrifice and deprivation" ......REALLY people! I love how ppl don't get that if it's done the healthy way, DEPRIVATION should not be in your vocabulary......
  • There are way too many to quote, but in short, my mother telling me how "she wants me to be healthy", "your grandfather died of a heart attack", "Your grandmother died of diabetes", "it runs in the family", {death}, {damnation}, {pessimism}, {etc, etc, etc}...and the only thing that will save me is my following her f&*#&*$ advice!

    It made me so mad and rebellious I would *FORCE* myself to go out and eat fast food crap just to convince myself I was pissing her off...even if it was just in my head! I never actually said anything. It happened so much it became habitual to stop off and grab something to and from college...every damn day and still have meals at home.

    I know she thought she was doing it out of love...but I wish I had had the huevos to tell her to back the hell off.

    --MR
  • sla0814
    sla0814 Posts: 240
    When someone else makes a comment about my weigh loss and a "friend" responds... "She doesn't eat anymore" ... umm how about I eat responsibly and exercise! They just totally brush off all of the hard work and commitment I put in to lose weight and make it sound like I've been doing it the unhealthy way.

    SO TRUE!! Or very similarly say I'm anorexic right now. It makes me super sad because I wish they could just support me and be an encourager or lift me up around others instead of making me feel super awkward...
  • millerll
    millerll Posts: 873 Member
    I just got this one a few weeks ago from a co-worker: "Wow, your boobs are gone!"

    Gee, thanks, I know that. I've gone broke buying new bras the last few months. But thanks ever so much for the reminder that, after losing 45 pounds, adding muscle and definition, and getting in the best shape I've been in in years, all you notice are my damn boobs (or lack of same)!

    I guess I can forget about moonlighting as a Victorias Secret model now...............
  • miovlb6
    miovlb6 Posts: 339 Member
    Another one is when people try to tell me what I can and cannot eat - "she can't get that, she's on a diet"

    This! I HATE when people say that!
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,324 Member
    I hate when people ask what your doing,, you try to tell them, and they interupt
    to tell you what they do! There bigger than ever im down 45lbs!
    Also when people watch what your eating I feel like I need to explain (this is a veggie burger
    loaded with fresh vegs only 190 cal) almost like there waiting for me to fail.
  • milanks
    milanks Posts: 122
    Lately, I find myself annoyed by anything outside of a brief "You look good." or something similar. I'm getting a little tired of being called "tiny." It was flattering the first couple of times but people keep using that word and it's just not true so it's getting old. Ha! I also don't like being told I "might blow away." Hey now, that's not a compliment, hush! :laugh:
  • helloiloveukitty
    helloiloveukitty Posts: 448 Member
    I hate hearing...."you look so skinny!!!" like its a compliment....umm no, skinny is not a compliment to me. Also dislike "well, don't lose too much weight!" yeah right, I'll just keep losing until I wither away? Do you think I'm stupid or do you just not want me to make you fatter by comparison. I just smile though, they mean it nicely and I'm being overly sensitive.

    I also dislike hearing all the excuses that come after they ask how and I say sensible eating and exercise and they feel the need to explain to me how they want to lose weight but can't possibly do that.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    For me, it's "you don't need to lose any more weight". While it sounds like a compliment and I know they don't mean any harm by it, it can be irritating, especially since they can't seem this layer of belly fat that I hide so well.

    This is the one for me. I hate it with a passion because it feels like I need to explain why I am still not at my final goal and that I am not at a healthy bmi and I just know how to dress to hide my stomach. I have noticed this usually comes from older people 60+.
  • milanks
    milanks Posts: 122
    Oh! How about this one... "Don't get too skinny. Men like a woman with a little meat on her bones, y'know."
  • cat3nv
    cat3nv Posts: 389 Member
    I have MFP connected to my facebook. It tells all my friends when I have lost weight, finished my food diary, and exercised. I get messages from well meaning friends saying, " I have not seen weight loss posts in a while are you still losing?"

    Yes I am still losing. I am trying not to be scales obsessed by weighing everyday. Or if I mention I have gone somewhere to eat with my family, I get comments about how I should not be eating there.

    I want to scream mind your own business!!
  • I'm a big girl, but i have an hourglass shape so I have a small wasit. (It looks strange). There is this Japanese lady at my job (who I'm sure is only trying to be helpful) Will come up to me, place her hands around my waist and say: "You're waist is so much smaller today. When you lose all of your fat, it will be so very small. "
    -_-
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
    My friend really hurt ne when she told me to stop dieting coz I was " looking really old, I look younger than you and I'm 10 years older..." several ways of getting this message over have been used even recently....

    The other is at work, there is a woman who always says you cannot have that you are on a diet "IT IS A FKN BANANA NOT A MARS BAR" :)
  • _Aimée_
    _Aimée_ Posts: 190
    I hate it when people says 'she can't eat that she dieting'. I'm NOT dieting!!! >:-(
    Saw my aunty, she looked me up at down and said (with such a bitter jealous tone to her voice) "wow, so how have you done that then". Healthy diet and exercise...I'm like a broken record

    Also, I've lost over SIXTY pounds, and my SO says he CANT tell?!?! :(
  • stephanielynn76
    stephanielynn76 Posts: 709 Member
    #1 "You are too skinny" ... no I'm NOT!!! I am FIT!
    #2 "You don't eat enough" .... uhm... yes I do... 1500cal is my base and I usually eat all the calories that I burn which is, most of the time, about 500cal... meaning most days I eat 2000 calories... plenty enough food...
    #3 "Men prefer a women with more curves..." really??? ok... I NEVER got this kinda attention before from the opposite sex... ever... and I was curvy but never heavy.... had bigger butt and boobs.... they might say that but that hasn't been my experience.
    #4 "You weren't big before..." Yes... I know. This wasn't about getting skinny.... it's about being lean and fit.
    #5 "Are you still on your diet?" Uhmmm.... not a diet... a lifestyle change!!! I changed my relationship with food and I don't plan on going back!
    #6 "You work out too much..." ...Yes... it's my hobby... I do it a lot and I enjoy it! What's wrong with that???
    #7 "I think you looked better before" .... while I appreciate your opinion... it's my life and my body.... I have to live with it. I am happier this way. When it comes down to it... the only opinion that really matters is mine and my husbands... and he loves me this way.

    I'm sure there are more. I, personally, am really I'm tired of the unsupportive comments. I wish people would just keep their negative opinions to themselves.
  • Mom: " Are you losing weight?"

    Me: "Nope, just came back from a Lipo convention and they asked for a volunteer on stage...
    I'm getting it back tomorrow....heeeerre's your sign..."

    Mom: "What sign? Ohhh, you're being smart"
    *smacks me on the shoulder*
  • oops, accidental post!
  • milanks
    milanks Posts: 122
    ^^^neglected to log out of partner's account there^^^

    What I wanted to say was that I was recently told "You need to stop losing weight. You're getting too small." and that's not something I like to hear. I'm nowhere near "too small." How would they like it if I said to them, "You need to stop gaining weight, you're getting too big," eh? :p
  • brandiuntz
    brandiuntz Posts: 2,717 Member
    I have some dietary restrictions due to diary and gluten intolerance. So, when we order lunch at work on Fridays (company paid for), I get a lot of:


    "Can you eat that?"

    "No birthday cake for you."

    "What can you eat?"

    "Wow, that's a lot of things you can't eat."
  • jessradtke
    jessradtke Posts: 418 Member
    '' you are skinny so you can it that (that being something fatty)'' Well no, actually it's because that I do not eat that that I am skinny!!!

    This one really irritates me too. I've had people will tell me how they wish they could look as "healthy as me", and in the next breath they're trying to get me to eat like them. Um, no.

    The other one that really bothers me is "You don't need to go on a diet/lose weight". I'm not "dieting". I'm making good food choices and exercising so that I can be HEALTHIER, not just thinner. It's not all about my weight.

    And while we're at it, yes, my kids ARE eating "the same way I do", thank you very much! I actually feed my family lots of fruits and veggies and whole foods, but people act like my kids are deprived or something. Sheesh.
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
    Some lady at the gym said , "Man you look great even your muffin top is going away". I was like thanks :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble:
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