Friend requests without messages: Creepy or nah?

risingstar89
risingstar89 Posts: 20 Member
edited November 27 in Chit-Chat
Do you ever receive friend requests without messages? Well one user requested in their bio that no one send them a friend request without a message because it is "creepy". At first I didn't get it and I thought it was just that person, but I've seen others saying the same thing. I would like to start a discussion about this because I am curious to see what people think. Some questions to consider: Do you think it's creepy to receive a request without a message? Why or why not? Do you send friend requests with messages? Why or why not? Lets converse.
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Replies

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,341 Member
    I don't think it is creepy, per se, but I prefer one. I'd like to know why I'm being requested, because there are a heck of a lot of sales people on MFP who add everyone they come across, and a lot of friend collectors. I don't mind not getting a message from someone I've been chatting with in a thread, but generally, I won't accept one without a message unless I can see from their profile we have something in common.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    I constantly get them! Not creepy, but totally rude, IMHO, because the requester is neglecting to tell me about him/herself. As a practitioner of the Golden Rule, I send at least a short message about where in MFP I saw them, and what they want/like based on whatever we were talking about in the attracting thread.
  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
    After being 'collected' several times when I first started on here I now need to know why the person wants to be my MFP friend. Likewise I always send a message if I want to friend someone I think has something in common with me. I don't think requests without a message are creepy but they are bad manners imo.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    i prefer a msg

  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
    I don't think most my FR are creepy, the creepy ones are the ones faking it then try to sext me or just send inappropriate messages anyways. Block and delete unfortunately MFP does not seem to have a report personal messages icon. I do find most of my encounters here are good natured though.
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    I just accepted every friend request I got when I first joined, thinking it would be rude not to. But now I do prefer at least a short message as well. Unless of course it's someone I've interacted with in the forums already.
  • tonileigh820
    tonileigh820 Posts: 761 Member
    I don't accept without a message unless I have already interacted with the person on forums or I see them on friends pages.

    especially if it's a male. too many creeps just looking to get some via the Internet
  • motivccess
    motivccess Posts: 201 Member
    edited January 2016
    Not necessarily creepy if they have a pic and actual friends... but no pic, no posts, etc... than i dunno...they should at least write a couple words ...with a nice message, it's not creepy at all... i don't know most of the people on my friend's list (at least mine) irl...but still get support/encouragement, etc. which help
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    A message is appreciated or some form of interaction
  • errollmaclean
    errollmaclean Posts: 562 Member
    I always send a message, and prefer requests do the same. I find it's usually just new people that don't know the courtesy yet. And occasionally collectors, but it's pretty easy to spot people just in it for the numbers.
  • Negative_X
    Negative_X Posts: 296 Member
    edited January 2016
    No message, doesn't bother me at all. Most of us are here for the same reason anyways... and if they turn out to be creepy down the line, then axe em'. *shrug*

    This isn't some dating website where a introduction is a accepted norm'. (all tho I'm sure some treat this site as such)
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
    not creepy, strange but not creepy, 90% of all my requests have come without a message. i could care less. i accept all requests and have never culled my list. got some pretty cool people on my fl.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    edited January 2016
    all the time lol i usually accept but sometimes if im in a 'mood' i wont. roll the dice and see what ya get lol

    i do however, purge my list pretty often and take off people i never hear from in any way, or those who have dropped off for an extended period of time. i have some long time mfp (and rl) friends who dont come on for long periods, but those are special cases and i usually know whats going on with them, so they get to stay (it'd be kind of rude to kick my bf off LOLOL)


    on the rare instances when i send someone a FR, I always send a message.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    I used to be one of those that said in my bio I wouldn't accept FRs without a message. I don't think it's inherently creepy, but the problem was I was getting random FRs from guys without a message, and then after I accepted them they would send a stupid message trying to flirt or whatever. Plus, I already have a satisfactory amount of friends on MFP, so I didn't feel the need to add people left and right.

    I eventually took that off my bio and I'll accept requests without a message now, but I still have the creepy guy problem and I end up having to unfriend people soon after accepting.
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
    Negative_X wrote: »
    No message, doesn't bother me at all. Most of us are here for the same reason anyways... and if they turn out to be creepy down the line, then axe em'. *shrug*

    This isn't some dating website where a introduction is a accepted norm'. (all tho I'm sure some treat this site as such)

    ^^^ what he said^^^
  • BostonBanter74
    BostonBanter74 Posts: 27 Member
    I'm creepy
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,059 Member
    Creepy? Nah.

    I personally don't accept those kinds of requests, because I don't like friend collectors. It's helped me keep my list small, and encourage people who will interact with me to send me a request.
  • risingstar89
    risingstar89 Posts: 20 Member
    Wow, I never knew about the sales people. I haven't encountered any creepy guys on here but I have noticed that in my news feed some of my friends have lists that grow everyday and it makes me wonder. Now I'm starting to see it differently and I'll be more careful abut who I add. When I send a friend request it's because I have something in common with that person or I talked to them in a forum, so I don't always add a message but after reading some of your replies I understand how that might be off putting to some people
  • risingstar89
    risingstar89 Posts: 20 Member
    JessicaJS23 wrote: »
    Negative_X wrote: »
    No message, doesn't bother me at all. Most of us are here for the same reason anyways... and if they turn out to be creepy down the line, then axe em'. *shrug*

    This isn't some dating website where a introduction is a accepted norm'. (all tho I'm sure some treat this site as such)

    ^^^ what he said^^^

    That's exactly how I feel! I saw this site as more casual and less threatening than a dating website where you have to watch out for trolls. But apparently some people have been burned by salesmen and friend collectors out there. I'm new to the community aspect of mfp, I used to go it alone. But so far I have received nothing but positive vibes from my friends and there is a mutual exchange going.
  • risingstar89
    risingstar89 Posts: 20 Member
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    all the time lol i usually accept but sometimes if im in a 'mood' i wont. roll the dice and see what ya get lol

    i do however, purge my list pretty often and take off people i never hear from in any way, or those who have dropped off for an extended period of time. i have some long time mfp (and rl) friends who dont come on for long periods, but those are special cases and i usually know whats going on with them, so they get to stay (it'd be kind of rude to kick my bf off LOLOL)


    on the rare instances when i send someone a FR, I always send a message.

    haha my best friend is on my list and I keep begging her to come back but same here I won't delete her lol
  • risingstar89
    risingstar89 Posts: 20 Member
    errollm wrote: »
    I always send a message, and prefer requests do the same. I find it's usually just new people that don't know the courtesy yet. And occasionally collectors, but it's pretty easy to spot people just in it for the numbers.

    I'm not necessarily a newbie, but I'm new to the community and so sometimes I send a message, sometimes I don't, but I am also not interested in randomly adding people because I actually read and post status updates and comment on people's status. That would be annoying with thousands of friends lol. Btw I hope you don't mind me saying that you are cute. That was not meant to be creepy lol
  • sw33tp3a15
    sw33tp3a15 Posts: 1,674 Member
    Don't matter to me. But I love reading the really creative ones.
  • ThatFatAsianNerd
    ThatFatAsianNerd Posts: 1,415 Member
    When this happens, I take a serious look at the mirror and ask myself this question:


    "Are you important?"
  • Alanakrahenbil
    Alanakrahenbil Posts: 811 Member
    Nah not creepy
  • jlisa24
    jlisa24 Posts: 305 Member
    Creepy? I think of it as a social community. Im used to using social media / community sites so, outside of my personal fb page i have a lot of friends and followers. I suppose it depends on your own personal agenda and take on this one, in particular!

    If the person ends up being creepy, deleted. If youre cool, friend/ follow me!
  • pie_eyes
    pie_eyes Posts: 12,964 Member
    What's creepy to me is no picture. But given this is a weight loss website and not a dating one I understand sometimes if a person doesn't want to post a pic of themselves. So that's my two cents.
  • bigeasy50
    bigeasy50 Posts: 48 Member
    I am new to site seeking support not sure of the message to put in box I put my name and a small message but I am not sure if my setting allow you to see who I am any advice here ?
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  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    I won't accept a FR anymore unless there's at least a short message. When I first started here I didn't know about the "MFP Collectors" and just accepted everyone. More times than not, these people never interact with me at all so I end up doing a lot of deleting.
    Since I've gotten pickier about my FR I've noticed that I actually now have a group of very cool people I interact with here on a daily basis :)
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