Friend requests without messages: Creepy or nah?

124

Replies

  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    southerman46 wrote: »
    I think women get away with not sending messages more than men do. I have had very few women that FR send a message with it but if you send a three paragraph message saying why we need to be friends I promise I will decline you lol.

    Too much reading for ya??!? :p
  • larali1980
    larali1980 Posts: 162 Member
    edited January 2016
    Not creepy to me, I don't really give a hoot about "friends" on here anyway as I usually don't interact with people. That's not why I'm here. I accept anyone who adds me, message or not.

    I think I have added a couple of "friends" if I noticed they are from my same town/ or if they happen to be super inspiring to me, but I think I included a message. Maybe.

    ...Reading this thread made me LOL.. some of y'all take this internet social stuff so damn seriously.
  • southerman46
    southerman46 Posts: 828 Member
    synchkat wrote: »
    southerman46 wrote: »
    I think women get away with not sending messages more than men do. I have had very few women that FR send a message with it but if you send a three paragraph message saying why we need to be friends I promise I will decline you lol.

    Too much reading for ya??!? :p

    You figured me out that is exactly what it is. :wink:

  • dwulet130
    dwulet130 Posts: 108 Member
    I'm pretty new here, so I accept anyone. What's the harm in being "collected?" If you post I try to comment, if not then nbd.

    Plus, it's not like facebook where you can see where I hang out and pictures of me singing karaoke. I don't care who knows that I went for a walk around the block lol
  • blondierunner2015
    blondierunner2015 Posts: 129 Member
    larali1980 wrote: »
    Not creepy to me, I don't really give a hoot about "friends" on here anyway as I usually don't interact with people. That's not why I'm here. I accept anyone who adds me, message or not.

    I think I have added a couple of "friends" if I noticed they are from my same town/ or if they happen to be super inspiring to me, but I think I included a message. Maybe.

    ...Reading this thread made me LOL.. some of y'all take this internet social stuff so damn seriously.

    It is funny, until something bad happens...you learn to be more careful about who you trust and let in.
  • marcelo_templario
    marcelo_templario Posts: 653 Member
    dwulet130 wrote: »
    I'm pretty new here, so I accept anyone. What's the harm in being "collected?" If you post I try to comment, if not then nbd.

    Plus, it's not like facebook where you can see where I hang out and pictures of me singing karaoke. I don't care who knows that I went for a walk around the block lol

    Yeah!!! the thing is...in here everything levitates around the fact that we all share a common goal...to get fit...no matter if you're a bit bulky or overweight, or skinny or you're already on your goals, we look for fitness-chasing people, not only based on pics (I am talking from my perspective), you can even friend married people....no big issue right?. Everybody is welcome.
  • larali1980
    larali1980 Posts: 162 Member
    edited January 2016
    blondierunner2015 wrote: »
    larali1980 wrote: »
    Not creepy to me, I don't really give a hoot about "friends" on here anyway as I usually don't interact with people. That's not why I'm here. I accept anyone who adds me, message or not.

    I think I have added a couple of "friends" if I noticed they are from my same town/ or if they happen to be super inspiring to me, but I think I included a message. Maybe.

    ...Reading this thread made me LOL.. some of y'all take this internet social stuff so damn seriously.

    It is funny, until something bad happens...you learn to be more careful about who you trust and let in.

    True. I mean, I'm all about being careful on the internet (I don't have Facebook for this reason, and I don't allow my sisters to post pics of my kids on her Facebook, etc.) But I'm talking about people who use this website as some sort of social network and are so snobby about who "friends" them on here. It's not like most people post personal information on this site. Most people just track calories and talk about what sort of exercise they do.

    I'm personally not worried about anyone stalking me based on my profile pic, but if you're a super sexy person and are worried about "creepos" friending you, take off your personal pictures and don't post any information. It ain't a hard concept.

    What I'm saying is, this isn't Facebook but some people use it as such. I think that is silly
  • ravi_tiwari_786
    ravi_tiwari_786 Posts: 651 Member
    A short message would be good enough!
  • canoepug56
    canoepug56 Posts: 161 Member
    Never had a friend request here,either with or without a message.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    No message, no friending.
  • southerman46
    southerman46 Posts: 828 Member
    larali1980 wrote: »
    blondierunner2015 wrote: »
    larali1980 wrote: »
    Not creepy to me, I don't really give a hoot about "friends" on here anyway as I usually don't interact with people. That's not why I'm here. I accept anyone who adds me, message or not.

    I think I have added a couple of "friends" if I noticed they are from my same town/ or if they happen to be super inspiring to me, but I think I included a message. Maybe.

    ...Reading this thread made me LOL.. some of y'all take this internet social stuff so damn seriously.

    It is funny, until something bad happens...you learn to be more careful about who you trust and let in.

    True. I mean, I'm all about being careful on the internet (I don't have Facebook for this reason, and I don't allow my sisters to post pics of my kids on her Facebook, etc.) But I'm talking about people who use this website as some sort of social network and are so snobby about who "friends" them on here. It's not like most people post personal information on this site. Most people just track calories and talk about what sort of exercise they do.

    I'm personally not worried about anyone stalking me based on my profile pic, but if you're a super sexy person and are worried about "creepos" friending you, take off your personal pictures and don't post any information. It ain't a hard concept.

    What I'm saying is, this isn't Facebook but some people use it as such. I think that is silly

    I agree with most everything you have said but I have known women on here that have basically been harassed off the site and that is truly ashamed. I think all of us are here to get fit and live a healthier lifestyle unfortunately there is an element that wants to ruin it.

  • blondierunner2015
    blondierunner2015 Posts: 129 Member
    edited January 2016
    True! I don't know much about it and am learning how it all works. I did have a bad situation from FB, so I'm gun shy so to speak. But, yeah, it seems safe enough. I have only had respectful interactions so far. I don't post sexy pics, so that's not issue...lol. It's a whole different setup than fb, though, so you're right on that! (Was meant to respond to Larali1980)
  • larali1980
    larali1980 Posts: 162 Member
    southerman46 wrote: »

    I agree with most everything you have said but I have known women on here that have basically been harassed off the site and that is truly ashamed. I think all of us are here to get fit and live a healthier lifestyle unfortunately there is an element that wants to ruin it.

    So they should not post pictures, or can "ignore" and report the harrasser.

    I've been on many forums through the years and have never had a problem with harassment. I don't post personal pictures or identifying information. I don't "flirt" or invite unwanted attention.

    The women who do those things get harrassed. And then they fuss about it.

    The internet is as safe as you make it, just like the real world.
  • TheBigFb
    TheBigFb Posts: 649 Member
    Sure its all only a bit of fun. I always accept, but after a while if its not working out I ditch them, "" its not you, its me"
  • Sharkbite2016
    Sharkbite2016 Posts: 20 Member
    risingstar89 wrote: »
    Do you ever receive friend requests without messages? Well one user requested in their bio that no one send them a friend request without a message because it is "creepy". At first I didn't get it and I thought it was just that person, but I've seen others saying the same thing. I would like to start a discussion about this because I am curious to see what people think. Some questions to consider: Do you think it's creepy to receive a request without a message? Why or why not? Do you send friend requests with messages? Why or why not? Lets converse.

    Not as creepy, vain, and stupid as the ones that say "would you kiss the person above you". Lots of people on here have serious boundary and tact issues.
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
    larali1980 wrote: »
    southerman46 wrote: »

    I agree with most everything you have said but I have known women on here that have basically been harassed off the site and that is truly ashamed. I think all of us are here to get fit and live a healthier lifestyle unfortunately there is an element that wants to ruin it.

    So they should not post pictures, or can "ignore" and report the harrasser.

    I've been on many forums through the years and have never had a problem with harassment. I don't post personal pictures or identifying information. I don't "flirt" or invite unwanted attention.

    The women who do those things get harrassed. And then they fuss about it.

    The internet is as safe as you make it, just like the real world.

    So I should not post any pictures? What is next? No filling out my profile in case it tempts some pervert? Not posting on the boards in case I get unwanted attention?

    Get real, this is a fitness social networking site. We befriend other motivating people, some befriend anything that moves, some are very fussy about who they add, just like in the real world. I post pictures I want to share, sometimes just for a laugh, other times to share my progress. This is how the site should be used. Should guys not post pics of their torsos (and there are a lot of naked torsos on this site) in case some woman decided to stalk them out? Where do you draw the line?

    I am old enough to realise that any kind of forum attention can give you unwanted attention. I looked at two threads today about fitness and diet advice, where the users had no pics, no filled in profile, yet felt harassed enough to close their accounts.

    There is a risk in everything we do, I for one know where the delete and block buttons are, and yes I use them from time to time, but this is 2016, we all know how internet should be used, don't put info out there on any site that you do not want to share. If someone bugs you, speak up and take appropriate action. We are after all grown ups on this site.
  • larali1980
    larali1980 Posts: 162 Member
    Bonny132 wrote: »
    There is a risk in everything we do, I for one know where the delete and block buttons are, and yes I use them from time to time, but this is 2016, we all know how internet should be used, don't put info out there on any site that you do not want to share. If someone bugs you, speak up and take appropriate action. We are after all grown ups on this site.

    That's basically what I just said.
  • BklynFitGuy
    BklynFitGuy Posts: 712 Member
    I think messages are the way to go.
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
    larali1980 wrote: »
    Bonny132 wrote: »
    There is a risk in everything we do, I for one know where the delete and block buttons are, and yes I use them from time to time, but this is 2016, we all know how internet should be used, don't put info out there on any site that you do not want to share. If someone bugs you, speak up and take appropriate action. We are after all grown ups on this site.

    That's basically what I just said.

    Then we are on the same page :smile: I misunderstood your posting.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • 00EmilyJo00
    00EmilyJo00 Posts: 64 Member
    I don't think it matters. You have the option to accept or ignore so if you think it's creepy just ignore.
  • simon0000
    simon0000 Posts: 1,432 Member
    00EmilyJo00 wrote: »
    I don't think it matters. You have the option to accept or ignore so if you think it's creepy just ignore.
    this^^
  • ThatFatAsianNerd
    ThatFatAsianNerd Posts: 1,415 Member
    I'm headed to a tattoo parlor now to get "Are you important?" tattooed on my chest so I can stare at it every single time someone requests to be a pal without any sort of message on it.
  • _whatsherface
    _whatsherface Posts: 1,235 Member
    I've never thought of it. If they don't post a message with it, I'll usually scope. But I'm picky with requests as it is anyways. Maybe I'll deny friends without messages from now on.
  • kchuskey
    kchuskey Posts: 882 Member
    I want them to include a message, and tell me how awesome they think I am. Seriously... I can pretty much tell if it is somebody I've had some type of interaction with. If it is just some random invite from somebody that I haven't seen post anything anywhere, and there is no message, then I'll likely investigate. If they have been posting in the same threads as me etc.., and they send me an invite, chances are they think I'm interesting, and I'll accept.
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
    I base whether or not I accept a user on looks. Sue me...

    Also, I don't send FRs to women.
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    I only accept FR's if the person has a hot headless torso profile picture.
    J/K. It's not exactly hard to type something with the request. Don't be lazy.
  • musclegood_fatbad
    musclegood_fatbad Posts: 9,809 Member
    I like a message.
  • Nograce80
    Nograce80 Posts: 8,443 Member
    I find some of them WITH messages creepier tbh
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I don't think it's creepy but I do think it's weird. I imagine a person I've never met coming up to me in the grocery store and asking if we can be friends without so much as a "hey I'm Amber" first.
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