Sexual Harassment

I'd suggest taking a martial arts/self defense class before buying a tazer or anything of the sort. Better to be confident in your own abilities than to depend on something that may not react the way you expect.

Call the police and report it. There will be video from the store. You most likely are not their first victim, help others by reporting it.

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

JustMissTracy wrote: »

I'd suggest taking a martial arts/self defense class before buying a tazer or anything of the sort. Better to be confident in your own abilities than to depend on something that may not react the way you expect.

kehahn wrote: »

You should go talk to the store managers... They may be able to access security cameras so you can figure out who it was and report it.

I agree with these. I don't think a taser is the answer. The problem with relying on a device is that you just won't walk around carrying a taser or pepper spray in your hand for the rest of your life. When you are attacked it is sudden & you have your body to work with. You don't have time to dig out your defense. You can tell your mom that you are taking martial arts classes as exercise so as not to worry her.

amyk0202 wrote: »

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

JustMissTracy wrote: »

I'd suggest taking a martial arts/self defense class before buying a tazer or anything of the sort. Better to be confident in your own abilities than to depend on something that may not react the way you expect.

kehahn wrote: »

You should go talk to the store managers... They may be able to access security cameras so you can figure out who it was and report it.

I agree with these. I don't think a taser is the answer. The problem with relying on a device is that you just won't walk around carrying a taser or pepper spray in your hand for the rest of your life. When you are attacked it is sudden & you have your body to work with. You don't have time to dig out your defense. You can tell your mom that you are taking martial arts classes as exercise so as not to worry her.

if i find myself alone away from a public area, in a neighborhood alone, i will carry my mace in-hand. don't *kitten* around. be prepared. this world is *kitten*!!!

Call the police! They'll take a report. You may not feel like doing that, but do it!! Also tell the management in the store so that they are aware of this. Don't worry about the stupid reactions of others, they need to get a clue!
I am so sorry for what happened to you!

1. Agree this should be reported to police.
2. Before getting any weapon, look into self-defense training courses. You could carry an arsenal with you, but if you freeze up in panic it's all useless. The training will help with that. After you have the training, then add in the mace or taser or whatever if you think you need it.

usmcmp wrote: »

Call the police and report it. There will be video from the store. You most likely are not their first victim, help others by reporting it.

+1
If he touched you, without permission it's beyond harassment and is battery (and assault). Call the police and report it.

sheermomentum wrote: »

You need to call the police. I imagine they will communicate with the store management, but you should also do that. I promise you this guy was caught on a security camera. He may or may not have been caught in the act on camera, but there's a good chance you can identify him coming in or going out of the store, at least. The store will want to be on watch for him and so should the police, if they aren't already.

As for the rest of it, I would recommend a self-defense class over a taser for making you feel better, and also for any similar incidents, if there should happen to ever be any. If you didn't feel comfortable kicking him in the fork or screaming when he assaulted you, are you really going to feel comfortable fumbling in your bag for a weapon?

I agree with this last line most. You need to feel confident in your ability to defend yourself, I highly recommend a self defense course! It teaches you how to push through fear and act in self preservation. You were in public, but won't always be!

The others have given you great advice, so I won't repeat it. I'm going to focus on another aspect of what you wrote. The assault had nothing to do with your size, it was ALL about power. People who behave the way that guy did do it because it makes them feel powerful. Take away his power to influence you in your weight loss and health journey. Don't let him derail you!

While you're at it, don't let your mother or your husband have the power to derail you either. Reporting what happened is the smart and right thing to do. You did nothing wrong, don't let people treat you as if you did. When you report it to the police, ask them if they give self-defense classes.

kirstinlee wrote: »

I'm going to be straight up, and let you all know ahead of time that I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking for, if I am at all. It's just nice to know I have a group of people here who will be there for me when I need it, even if I've never personally known any of you.

I was sexually harassed and assaulted today in the middle of Safeway. He cornered me, grabbed me, and started telling me that he loved me. I was scared enough that I didn't even think about reacting or screaming for help... it was over as quick as it started. Now I feel like just peeling my skin off... or crying... or both.

. . .

I feel like if I keep losing weight, it's going to get worse. I've noticed that the verbal harassment has gotten gradually worse over the last fifteen pounds, and now this. It's almost enough to make me stop losing weight purely to feel safer.

I have carried between 10 and 65 extra pounds most of my adult life for this very reason. I was raped nearly 4 decades ago - and it started with street harassment. My weight has gone up and down several times since then.

I was at my slimmest about 15 years ago and heading into a situation I expected might be sexually hostile. I kept flipping through my closet looking for something to wear, and nothing in my new wardrobe (designed to be flattering to my new weight) seemed appropriate. All of a sudden, what I was looking for hit me like a ton of bricks - I was looking for something that would make me look fat. I felt safe (invisible) from hostile sexual attention when I was fat.

That realization came more than a decade ago and I still struggle with weight contol - it took two decades to refine the eating habits that kept me fat (for reasons I was not consciously aware of). Those habits don't vanish merely because I am now aware that I developed them for my emotional safety.

That emotional connection to sexual objectification/aggression is also the reason I have the chit-chat forum here hidden. The sexually tinged chatter - objectifying bodies, some of it borderline hostile (what would you like to do with/to the poster above) is not conducive to my emotionally health or weight loss.

Take a street fighting class designed specifically for women that teach you dirty fighting techniques, if you can find one. Talk to a rape crisis center - the one I volunteered at for a decade didn't limit calls exclusively to people who had been raped. They may have support groups you can go to. One or both may help you work out ways to carry yourself that send out "back-off" vibes.

I made a conscious choice not to let sexually hostile behavior (and the threat of rape) force me to live in a box. [From that perspective, it was a very rude awakening when I realized I'd been unconsciously, but deliberately, living in a fat box] Not letting fear control me isn't always comfortable, since I often find myself out late at night, alone. I never turn down company when I do have to dash to my car - but I choose not to sit in my house/office afraid to go to my car.

Even though it is not comfortable knowledge to have - you are miles ahead of where I was for a long time. At least you know one of the emotional attachments you have to being overweight is safety from sexual aggression.

I agree with the others: notify the police and the store manager(s) about the attack. and I would take a basic self-defense class of some type. your state may have specific laws concerning the ownership of a taser, but carrying mace normally isn't an issue (and it's a whole lot cheaper) and works really well when sprayed directly in the face or open mouth. like jorocka said, kicking works real well too and a self-defense class can help you get more confidence in yourself in order to over-come that "panic" that set in when you were assaulted. most of all, don't let the ***hole's actions put you off your weight loss goals.

Firstly, DO NOT blame yourself. This creep had no right to harrass and assault you!
Secondly, as everyone has said - report him to the police and to Safeway as soon as you can. This creep needs to be stopped.

Self-defence/kick boxing classes are imperative. My old PT used to advise all women at his gym to take his kickboxing classes. It gives you the tools to defend yourself and gives you confidence.

I hope you're ok, and don't let this a-hole derail you.

{BIG HUGS}

usmcmp wrote: »

Call the police and report it. There will be video from the store. You most likely are not their first victim, help others by reporting it.

This.

Definetily report it asap. And do not give up on ur health for the sake of sickos. Your stronger then you no and as for your other half its easier said then done wen ur in shock. Stay strong keep looking after number one and do a martial arts class that way u gt the best of both ur stayin active n u can learn to k.o the next perv that tries it.