Not Fair

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  • ModernRock
    ModernRock Posts: 372 Member
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    debloureg wrote: »
    Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.

    Indeed, and it is entirely possible that Ms. Fried Chicken has a lower BMR (i.e., slower metabolism) than Ms. Turkey Wrap. So, unless they have the same stats and she can measure BMR just by looking at somebody, the comments still stand. If I recall correctly, one of those videos posted above makes the point that the overweight friend not only did eat more (despite her judgement to the contrary), she also had the higher BMR (i.e., faster metabolism).
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
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    My mums friends thought she was naturally skinny. They would have tea and a scone once a week. My mum ate hakf a scone with a teeny but of butter ( for preference not fat reduction) and a white americano coffee ( no sugar) her best friend would eat a whole one with a whole pat of butter on each half with jam with a sugary coffee. She would also eat lunch later where as my mum would count the scone as her lunch with maybe a snack later. Her friend thought they had consumed a similar meal calorie wise.

    From my own experience, my sis and i felt like 'pigging out'. We made a huge salad ( no dressing for preference) and cut up some fruit which is what we fancied ( we werent watching our weight) Our friends were genuinely shocked. They had we meant loads of crips and chocolate which is what they classed as pigging out. Different definitions i guess. I can usually eat whatever i want and not gain weight- only because what i usually want is salad! ( except for TOM. Then its chocolate)
  • Maxematics
    Maxematics Posts: 2,287 Member
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    ModernRock wrote: »
    debloureg wrote: »
    Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.

    Indeed, and it is entirely possible that Ms. Fried Chicken has a lower BMR (i.e., slower metabolism) than Ms. Turkey Wrap. So, unless they have the same stats and she can measure BMR just by looking at somebody, the comments still stand. If I recall correctly, one of those videos posted above makes the point that the overweight friend not only did eat more (despite her judgement to the contrary), she also had the higher BMR (i.e., faster metabolism).

    To build on this comment studies show that, aside from rare exceptions, overweight people have metabolic rates similar to or higher than lean people.

    The reason why many commenters didn't touch on the fact that some people can eat more than others is because, as @arditarose said, that much is obvious due to height, weight, sex, etc. This post wasn't about how it's not fair that men can eat more than women or how a woman who is 5'9" can eat more than a woman who is 5'2". The OP wouldn't have even made this post if that were the case. The post was made because OP wanted other people on the weight loss section of the forum to agree that it's not fair that some skinny minny has the audacity to eat fried chicken and not gain a pound whereas OP will gain five pounds if she even so much as looks at an apple.

    It was a petty post coming from a place of envy. On the MFP forums, many of the commenters will post facts and reality; not fluff. The reality is that we don't know the eating habits of others nor anything else about their lifestyle. Feeling jealousy over a person enjoying a high calorie meal just because they are skinny is a mindset that needs to be changed. I would think that many of us would agree that it would be absolutely awful to see an overweight person eating a burger and post "No wonder why that person is so fat! They're eating a burger! Trying eating a salad for once!" It's harmful, hurtful, and perpetuates the notion that in order to be slim you must eat like a bird while if you are overweight it's because your diet is full of "crappy" food. Neither case is true.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
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    we dont know what ms fried chicken will eat for the rest of the day so there is no point thinking about her or her diet.

    My very dear friend who is slim gave me an insight to what she does. When we meet she eats very well, starters main course, and pudding. She doesnt weight and log her food but she is very mindful of what she eats through out the week. She eats all foods just in moderation. She also goes to the gym every day.

    Now another friend of mine is very skinny. She says sometimes she might go through days of not eating very much and then another day she will eat loads. Again this friend eats all foods but almost sounds like intermittent fasting.

    I think the easiest thing is for everyone to just concentrate on themselves otherwise it will just make you go crazy.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
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    p.s also i dont think its unfair because when i want kfc i will go and eat it
    i just wont have it few times a week like i used to
  • crb426
    crb426 Posts: 657 Member
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    So glad you posted those videos! That's exactly what I thought of as soon as I read the op's post. :)
  • cupcakesplz
    cupcakesplz Posts: 237 Member
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    A sub and baked chips sound high in calories? But yes life's not fair!
    I am overweight and I can't blame anyone but me. I did once blame my hubby
  • 20yearsyounger
    20yearsyounger Posts: 1,643 Member
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    I ate 4000+ calories yesterday and still created a 500 calorie deficit. Yeah those skinny people have it lucky eating what ever they want. Not fair at all.
  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,039 Member
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    mis1022 wrote: »
    So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.

    Anyone can gain weight. She either eats a whole lot less than you think, or she exercises a whole lot more. Likely a combination of both.

    Maybe that lunch is her only meal of the day?

    Here's a secret: You TOO can eat the same thing. You might have to eat less of it.
  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
    edited January 2016
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    ModernRock wrote: »
    debloureg wrote: »
    Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.

    Indeed, and it is entirely possible that Ms. Fried Chicken has a lower BMR (i.e., slower metabolism) than Ms. Turkey Wrap. So, unless they have the same stats and she can measure BMR just by looking at somebody, the comments still stand. If I recall correctly, one of those videos posted above makes the point that the overweight friend not only did eat more (despite her judgement to the contrary), she also had the higher BMR (i.e., faster metabolism).

    Yeah, I'm not sure why this isn't self-evident. It takes a lot of energy to maintain 60 extra pounds. Imagine walking around with a 60-pound weight vest on 24/7 - I'd lose weight like I had a tapeworm, because my normal calorie intake just wouldn't support that kind of effort.

    According to the IIFYM TDEE calculator, for a woman my age and size (5'3, late 40s), the difference in BMR between my weight and sixty pounds above my weight is almost 300 calories. At the OP's listed age, and assuming that she's around 195 and her co-worker is around 125, the difference is more than 300 calories in the OP's favor. The OP, with her 60 pounds to lose, probably burns the equivalent of most of that Popeye's lunch every day just sitting and breathing in and out compared to Skinny Office Chick, and she's still on here complaining that it's unfair.

    So, okay, I officially acknowledge that people have different metabolic rates, and the OP CAN eat more than others to maintain her weight. Doesn't make her any less mad about Skinny Office Chick's slacker meal from Popeye's, though.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    debloureg wrote: »
    Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.

    Yes this is obviously true that two people will likely need different amounts of calories to maintain their weight. What the OP implied is that the skinny coworker can eat whatever she wants and not gain weight because she is some special snowflake who is naturally skinny. This is not true. If that coworker eats more than her TDEE she too will gain weight, it's as simple as that.

    Shame OP hasn't been back to let us know if she's gained any new perspective from this thread.
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
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    Is this thread making anyone else want some chicken? Mmm KFC's grilled chicken
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,951 Member
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    Is this thread making anyone else want some chicken? Mmm KFC's grilled chicken

    All I have to do is think about Australian KFC, and I'm more than happy to go to Subway and get a small tuna sub.

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    Nothing really ever makes me want KFC
  • Lourdesong
    Lourdesong Posts: 1,492 Member
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    WinoGelato wrote: »
    bwogilvie wrote: »
    Here's the thing: if she can eat whatever she wants and not gain weight, then "whatever she wants"—including that fried chicken—is exactly what she needs to maintain her weight. If I had fried chicken and biscuits for lunch, I wouldn't want anything more than a light supper, unless I had done a serious workout in between.

    This is a good point. OP you are trying to lose weight - not sure what your calorie deficit is set at, but let's just go with the most common goal of 1 lb/week so you have a 500 cal deficit. If your coworker is maintaining her weight, even if she is the same height, weight, age, and activity level as you, she would have roughly an extra 500 cals to work with. That should easily accommodate the difference between your sub sandwich and her fried chicken serving. That's again, not taking into account the fact that you are seeing one meal that she eats, and have no insight as to what the rest of her daily CICO is like.

    This is what I was thinking too, that the OP is comparing her calorie-restricted intake for the express purpose of trying to lose weight to that of the perceived intake of a "skinny" woman who is very probably not trying to lose any weight.

    I'm curious what the OP would have typically had for lunch when she wasn't trying to lose weight, and how that would compare to a typical lunch of her skinny co-worker.
  • gtm5
    gtm5 Posts: 27 Member
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    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Not the same but does this one work?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KA9AdlhB18o

    This video is so helpful, thank you for posting it!

  • Lourdesong
    Lourdesong Posts: 1,492 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    Nothing really ever makes me want KFC

    Me neither. Popeye's is pretty good, though I'm not really into fried chicken, Popeye's popcorn shrimp basket (with fries and a biscuit) was a lunch I'd get fairly often years ago, so good.
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    Nothing really ever makes me want KFC
    Their popcorn chicken is pretty alright.

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    CooCooPuff wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    Nothing really ever makes me want KFC
    Their popcorn chicken is pretty alright.

    lol. I am just surrounded by so many places to get fried chicken I guess I wouldn't decide to go to a chain first
  • CatherineWarburtonHayhurst
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    I was that girl munching on anything and everything while gaining nothing. Let me tell you I was at THE lowest and most stressful point in my life!

    Be heathy, be happy, be yourself.