Spouse does not want me to lose weight.. any of you in same boat?

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Replies

  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    If you explained it as: "I want to be as healthy as I can be for our child" would he accept that? Weight loss isn't all about appearance. Studies show that average weight gain is 1-2 pounds per year in adults. You are young, but in 5 years, 10 years and more, if you aren't doing something to control your weight, you could be affecting your health.
  • JackieMarie1989jgw
    JackieMarie1989jgw Posts: 230 Member
    Well, the first time I lost weight (before I got pregnant), my husband was indifferent to it. I also lost 20 lb, went from size 8/10 to size 4/6. I felt much more attractive at a smaller size, he would just say "I think you looked good at both sizes". I was slightly disappointed that he didnt find me more attractive at a smaller size (not that he ever indicated I was unattractive to him) simply because I worked my butt off for it. But in the end I did it for me not him, and felt so much more confident, so it was worth it.
    Bottom line, he was supportive, but I think just slightly disappointed that my boobs were smaller haha
  • Sapphires4me
    Sapphires4me Posts: 93 Member
    Mine said the same for last few years and I truly believe him. He loves me just the way I am, so I only half heartedly focused on losing weight and getting healthy. But couple months ago he had a health scare and now in the last few weeks he has started to hint that he wants to eat better too and exercise. He started going to gym with me and loves it. Love and support for each other and sometimes you end up both changing just a little.
  • JackieMarie1989jgw
    JackieMarie1989jgw Posts: 230 Member
    ashteinpeacock wrote: »
    So here's the funny part about when I lost all of my weight and became a size 2.... I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO LOSE WEIGHT! Yea, the jokes on me apparently lol. It literally just fell off in like 4 months. 40 lbs just gone. Now I can't lose for crap. So crazy how our body changes. I even got pregnant with our daughter at a size 2 and came out after having her and stayed at a size 2... it all went downhill though after I stopped breastfeeding. My "breastfeeding cravings" didn't go away.... so, here I am. I'm going to do it... he'S just gonna have to love me anyway... which I didn't doubt that anyway :)

    And I never make him eat the way I do. I don't want him to. Like I said before, he could use to gain some... if only I could just give him some of mine. lol.

    As far as some people divorcing over this type of thing... that is not our situation in anyway. He wouldn't get like that

    I know how those cravings are. I am breastfeeding my 9 month old and plan to wean him around his first birthday in April, my appetite has been INSANE during breastfeeding, higher than it was in pregnancy. Yet I still lost weight for the first 6 months of his life despite eating like crazy. Now he is nursing less and I am not losing weight effortlessly anymore...but I still have that appetite. I am afraid of what will happen when I wean him! I have to actually start eating normal portions again. Boo.
  • KittyHeaven74
    KittyHeaven74 Posts: 68 Member
    Mister_Ladyfingers wrote: »
    OP doesn't have enough information for any seriously deep advice. We can all speculate until the cows come home. The way I and my wife see it, our opinions totally matter to one another. That doesn't mean one of us can or will stand in the way of something the other truly wants. I can't stand the fact that she takes 45 minutes to put on make up in the morning. Drives me batty. She's beautiful without it and I'm just as impressed with her whether she's wearing it or not. She likes it though, it makes her feel better, and ultimately it's her body so I support her by buying it, and waiting patiently with the occasional annoyed eye roll. She supports my opinion by choosing to ignore my eye roll. Regardless of the OP's situation (need to lose, want to lose, etc.) I really feel like in most cases, communication is the key. Maybe he doesn't understand why she wants to lose. Everything doesn't have to be a war.

    I would say something along the lines of:
    "I want to do this because it will ultimately make me feel better which benefits both of us. I would very much like your support. If you don't want to actively help me, then I would appreciate it if you at least wouldn't make it more difficult for me and likewise I'll try not to let it intrude on your life either. At the end of the day I just want us both to be happy. How can we do that in this situation?"

    ETA: But yeah ultimately, it's your decision. Unless he's actively trying to stop you, I'd do it anyway.

    I love everything about this post. Well said.
  • ashteinpeacock
    ashteinpeacock Posts: 56 Member
    JackieMarie1989jgw wrote: »
    ashteinpeacock wrote: »
    So here's the funny part about when I lost all of my weight and became a size 2.... I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO LOSE WEIGHT! Yea, the jokes on me apparently lol. It literally just fell off in like 4 months. 40 lbs just gone. Now I can't lose for crap. So crazy how our body changes. I even got pregnant with our daughter at a size 2 and came out after having her and stayed at a size 2... it all went downhill though after I stopped breastfeeding. My "breastfeeding cravings" didn't go away.... so, here I am. I'm going to do it... he'S just gonna have to love me anyway... which I didn't doubt that anyway :)

    And I never make him eat the way I do. I don't want him to. Like I said before, he could use to gain some... if only I could just give him some of mine. lol.

    As far as some people divorcing over this type of thing... that is not our situation in anyway. He wouldn't get like that

    I know how those cravings are. I am breastfeeding my 9 month old and plan to wean him around his first birthday in April, my appetite has been INSANE during breastfeeding, higher than it was in pregnancy. Yet I still lost weight for the first 6 months of his life despite eating like crazy. Now he is nursing less and I am not losing weight effortlessly anymore...but I still have that appetite. I am afraid of what will happen when I wean him! I have to actually start eating normal portions again. Boo.


    Yes, be careful! it seriously snuck up on me a few months after I quit breastfeeding. I was fine for about 6 months and then BOOM it all hit at once... and I've had trouble getting control since! It's been almost 4 years since I weaned my daughter.

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