Why get into a relationship if your a cheater???

Can't say. My ex wife was like that, and she could never explain it either....

But some people take way too learn to realize that..A lot of people, young and older, seem to think they need someone else to be complete. They glom on to someone and as soon as some little thing goes wrong, they go for another....keeping the other one as well. They are needers....not good.

I have asked this question to a cheater and they couldn't answer. I think deep down somewhere in their soul like really really deep, they want to be this committed person that's why they get into relationships. But for some reason they choose not to. It's a choice.

One of the people I know who does this time after time says he never goes into a relationship thinking he is going to do this but he gets bored etc and it just happens. I told him it just does not happen he makes those choices it is his issue not everyone elses. He is one of the most selfish people I know. Not just in this area of his life.

He or others like him are the reason many women have just given up.

gcibsthom wrote: »

I think some have this need. The more people who "love" them, the more loved they feel. Even though, they are missing a more satisfying love from that one true love. And sometimes they mistake love for lust.

Good point!

Not always, but in a lot of cases I believe a cheater (especially serial cheaters) is someone who needs a lot of reassurance/ego boosting- regardless of how amazing their spouse may or may not be, I think a lot of cheaters are insecure people that just need to know they are wanted regardless of the attraction level/ connection level with the other person. I think these types of cheaters just want validation anywhere they can find it, because they need other people to make them feel good about themselves- the sad part with these types is that no one will ever be enough for them, because they don't realize that the problem is within themselves.

Why do people opt for processed foods over the natural healthy choices?
Why do people skip the gym for the bar?
How often do we think critically about the decisions we make? As opposed to reacting from emotion or instinct/taught behavior?

Let's not paint this picture that monogamy has been the "way of the world" since the beginning of time. It hasn't. In fact, the majority of human history suggests men having multiple partners/wives. [I cannot confirm women, I have not done the research] And let's not paint this other picture saying "generations of past fixed their issues...and didn't cheat..... blah, blah..." because that is an absolute lie.

What I can say about cheating, in my opinion, is that the decision to do so is no different than the other bad choices we make. People who smoke, drink, eat poorly, stress, have anger issues, suffer from addiction, etc all seem to get this societal pass... but cheating - oh no- cheating calls for a witch hunt of sorts and 1,000,000 theories as to why people do it. Let's look at our own lives, find the bad choices/habits we have, and apply the same reasoning to why people cheat. The process and reasoning is absolutely the same. Tadaa, you have your answer.

As much as society would like to believe we're above other animals, we're still part of a world where certain instincts don't fade. And one of them is having as much sexual contact as one can with the gender they prefer. Some have it stronger than others and some are content to just having one person.
I don't care how long someone has been with someone else or how much they proclaim to love them, but I truly doubt there is anyone on this planet that hasn't fantasized about having sex with someone other than their partner. And if that idea is even just a passing thought, then why is it even visualized? We're still animals on a world where we're nothing but a speck in a Universe that's much bigger than what we see in the sky.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I have nothing to contribute here but I'm intrigued, please carry on.