Longest time spent being single?

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Scamd83
Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
in Chit-Chat
Curious, anyone willing to say the longest they've been single for? Did it ever get depressing or were you fine with it? It doesn't feel a particularly bad thing to me as I'm not really a people person to begin with. But I seem to be spammed everyday on social media by everyone else's happy love life so I wonder if I'm supposed to feel like more of an abnormality? It's weird because I see all this and it's like everyone else lives in this different world from me and I'm supposed to want to be part of it. But I don't get it at all.
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Replies

  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
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    It's not just single people who get this spam. I'm 65, been married for 21 years and still get this kind of spam all the time. No, I don't want to meet cute girls from Russia! Ha
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
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    Sorry, by spam I meant genuine posts from real people on Facebook constantly saying how great their relationship is, etc. Technically not spam, but just my personal way of describing something that I get a lot of.
  • clh72569
    clh72569 Posts: 280 Member
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    Some people need to be with someone, anyone. Some people are totally fine being alone. You seem like someone who is confident being alone. Take joy in other peoples happiness and go on with your life. I have been single for 5 years after a divorce and am totally happy. Not dating, not seeking, go out with friends.
  • _Kitten_Kate
    _Kitten_Kate Posts: 520 Member
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    Scamd83 wrote: »
    Curious, anyone willing to say the longest they've been single for? Did it ever get depressing or were you fine with it? It doesn't feel a particularly bad thing to me as I'm not really a people person to begin with. But I seem to be spammed everyday on social media by everyone else's happy love life so I wonder if I'm supposed to feel like more of an abnormality? It's weird because I see all this and it's like everyone else lives in this different world from me and I'm supposed to want to be part of it. But I don't get it at all.

    My whole life...
    Never been in a serious relationship.
    I just chalk it up to.. God has a different plan for me.
    Kinda sucks. But.. ??
    Im not gonna force myself into a relationship or change who I am to be a part of the herd.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,041 Member
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    I was single for about 3 years once. But I was never alone or lonely.
  • jewelgal77
    jewelgal77 Posts: 7 Member
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    been single almost five years now, don't have any need to find someone, happy as is!! I've always been confused by movies that focus on finding someone, and people that have to rush into new relationships right away. I too, feel like I'm abnormal because it's just not a worry of mine. I've been married and loved it but not a concern to find anyone else.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    I haven't had a real boyfriend in almost 4 years :( during that 4 years I've been on countless bad dates, and dated 2 guys (each for about 2 months) and they both ghosted me.

    I actually stopped going on Facebook because it was getting too damned depressing.
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
    edited February 2016
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    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    I haven't had a real boyfriend in almost 4 years :( during that 4 years I've been on countless bad dates, and dated 2 guys (each for about 2 months) and they both ghosted me.

    I actually stopped going on Facebook because it was getting too damned depressing.

    I've had three dates in the past 12 years, one was a blind date set up by someone and lead to another but after that no more contact. And another was a date in a coffee shop which lasted about 15 awkward minutes and wasn't followed up on either. It doesn't seem worth the effort for what you're hoping to get out of it. To be brutally honest I'd be more than happy with just seeing like minded people for nothing serious as and when is desired if I absolutely required human contact. Dates are a waste of time in my opinion.
  • anjr0berts
    anjr0berts Posts: 1 Member
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    Being alone is perfectly fine, even if not the "norm." If you are not lonely and feel quite satisfied with your own company, don't fret. I have been divorced for twelve years. I have had one longer, more enduring relationship since then (immediately following my divorce).

    I enjoy being single, and I like to date and meet new and interesting people (they are not always bubbling up to the surface, and I am very particular, but they do exist). I think it's even more the case now that I've let go of the idea that there has to be some kind of a romantic, traditional, fairy-take "end goal" to it. There doesn't have to be, not for me. I live in the moment - whether I am alone or sharing the moment with someone else. Live and make a choices to embrace your life as if you will have to re-live it over and over again for all of eternity, and you will not question it so much. There's nothing wrong with you
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
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    @anjr0berts I do feel satisfied with my own company but then again I have very little to compare that to. But at worst, it just means I'm blissfully ignorant. If I die and 'go toward the light' and someone is there to greet me and says "You would have had a happier life if you'd spent more time with more people" I'd just shrug my shoulders and be like "I was as happy as I needed to be." and then ask which part of the afterlife had the least amount of people in it.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    right now i have been single the longest i ever have

    5 ish years, im not depressed about it really i mean i know i could easily find someone to date if i wanted to im just not that interested right now
  • pie_eyes
    pie_eyes Posts: 12,965 Member
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    It's really hard being single for me. I need an anchor.
  • gronmu1
    gronmu1 Posts: 12 Member
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    Meh be careful what you ask for
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
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    I have been married for 20+ years. seems like married people are thinking singles have most fun and singles are thinking married people have fun. I know most times I envy the fun my single friends have!
  • viren19890
    viren19890 Posts: 778 Member
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    I was in a relationship when I was 16 and that's it-now I'm 26 -and never had a relationship ever since.

    I think the 16 year old was just infatuation cause we said I love you-to each other.

    Not depressed about it or anything at all. Isolation could be a gift if you end up with the wrong person.

    Never felt the "need" for a relationship
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    23 Years. I was born in 1954 and got married in 1977.
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
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    @MJFSH Many of my 'taken' friends keep telling me I'm better off being single, which makes me wonder why they aren't single.

    @viren19890 I can't say I've ever been in a serious relationship in my life. Been in one which felt serious at the time, but now I look back I realise it really wasn't in the grand scheme of things. If I'm missing out on anything, I don't know what it is. But I guess it would be interesting to find out at least someday.
  • bubbles31282
    bubbles31282 Posts: 6 Member
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    I was single for nearly 4 years at one point. Im currently just dating. It seems as though there are not a lot of people looking for a serious relationship these days :neutral:
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,931 Member
    edited February 2016
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    17 years is the longest. I was a child for a lot of that time.

    Otherwise... something like 2 years between guys. But I never freaked out, I liked being single. And when I wanted to change it I changed it. Put some effort into getting myself out there and it worked like a charm every time. Love doesn't come to those who sit around and wait. You have to try. Because if you're not trying, then you're not paying attention. By this I don't mean getting all desperate about it though, not like movies).
    Scamd83 wrote: »
    Sorry, by spam I meant genuine posts from real people on Facebook constantly saying how great their relationship is, etc. Technically not spam, but just my personal way of describing something that I get a lot of.

    This is never how I choose to express my love either and it isn't something I'll understand. I have to accept I won't understand it or else I just feel like everyone is faking it.

    I'm married now and would never ever want to go back. Marriage is something that is forever, for me. Being married is the best thing in my life. And I can't even explain why.
  • MikeSanchez2323
    MikeSanchez2323 Posts: 30 Member
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    Scamd83 wrote: »
    Sorry, by spam I meant genuine posts from real people on Facebook constantly saying how great their relationship is, etc. Technically not spam, but just my personal way of describing something that I get a lot of.

    I take this stuff with a grain of salt. A lot of times when I see a "happy" couple posting all the time on FB, the next thing I hear is that they are splitting up, so you know that things could not have really been that happy. The longest I have ever been single is 2 years, but it is always better to be single than to be in an unhappy relationship just to avoid being alone, which is what a lot of people do.

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