Am I the only one?

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13

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  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Women wanted to have a CHOICE. You have that. Do what makes the two of your happy.

    THIS! :smile:

    I'm "between jobs" at the moment and do just about everything around the house. Laundry, dishes, lawn, garbage, drywall, electrical, plumbing. I say I'm not a housewife. I'm a one-woman maintenance crew. :laugh:
  • tabbydog
    tabbydog Posts: 4,925 Member
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    Why do people think that they get a say in what other people choose to do with their lives? :huh: Why would that person think that you would give a rat's *kitten* what THEY think of YOUR CHOICES. Honey, you do whatever makes you, your hubby, and your kids the happiest! Feminism is about choice, and thank goodness we each have one! :wink:
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
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    You've just experienced your FIRST experience of the SAHM vs. the working mom. SAHM's often feel guilty because they don't bring home $$. Working moms often feel guilty because they aren't with their children. It's an on-going debate.. Don't be surprised to hear comments like that (it could be the person who said that would give their left arm to stay home but can't afford to do so). Choose what is best for YOUR family, let others decide what is best for them. (and ignore any mean comments).
  • lcoulter23
    lcoulter23 Posts: 568 Member
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    I hate cleaning so my hubby does most of it, but I love to cook and bake and have often thought of starting my own in home bakery. I am not unemployed by choice, it is just how the chips have fallen so I am home all day with my son (who up until thursday was in school all day). I go a little nuts at times, but I am not cut out for this life and I know that others are. I say good for you for knowing what you want. Don't let other people try dictating what YOU want to do. I start night classes at cosmetology school in July. I am VERY excited to learn new things. I may also start that in house bakery to help bring in funds! My specialties are cheesecakes and brownies.

    A lot of people around my area give me weird looks when I say I hate being home all day and that I hate cleaning. it just isn't my bag. But in an area where most mothers are SAHM's it is weird for a woman to want to work outside the home.
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
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    But to the OP.... I say screw them. If you want your children to be raised by you, and fed healthy meals by you, then PROPS to you, Children should be raised by their parents, not a daycare!

    My child is not raised by his daycare. I raise my child. Period. I absolutely hate it when people say stuff like this. I work because I am a single mother. Even if I weren't, I'd still work outside the home. Remember, I have the choice to do that too.

    Unless you have a child, and have experience in this, do not say things like that.

    How do you know I don't have experience in this?
    And FYI its my opinion, not law. so I am entitled to it if I wish. just as you are entitled to your opinion and choice to pay for daycare.
  • chicpower1
    chicpower1 Posts: 169 Member
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    I completely understand how you feel. I began volunteering at the age of 13, was hired on by the company I volunteered at the day I turned 16, and had always worked right up until I had my first child 5 years ago. My goal was never to be a stay at home mom, I was a career woman! But--it was in the best interest of my child to be home raising her and we had the financial ability for me to do so. I chose to drop the career and become a stay at home mom.

    Prior to this decision, I thought stay at home moms had it made. Home playing with babys all day, cooking at their leisure, doing whatever they felt with no schedule. Boy was I wrong! Being a SAHM is harder than ANY job I've ever worked, even harder than the Army.

    I do catch a lot of slack for being home. People assume I have it easy. They think I sleep until 10:00, spend my days shopping, and just having fun all day. I don't. I'm usually busy changing dirty diapers, entertaining the 5 year old, balancing the check book, paying the bills, cooking the meals, running errands and doing the grocery shopping, etc. I have little time for myself and, unlike those who work, when the end of the day comes my job does not end. The best way I know to explain it is to tell someone "Okay. Move to your office. You're going to live there from now on, and by the way, you are now the manager AND the employee. You are in charge of everything in the office and must do it all yourself. You need to order supplies, create and print the documents, go to the warehouse and build the materials, ship them out yourself, and still manage the employees under you and keep them happy while you're at it. You don't get a lunch break, you eat at your desk when you're able, and there is no 'end of the day', you're on-call, on the job 24/7".

    I can't say I have the passion that you have. I love taking care of my husband but I'm exhausted and tired and sometimes resent the lack of time I get to myself. Even just getting one hour a week out of the house to go take a peaceful walk with a girlfriend is often not possible.

    People are just ignorant. Just because women CAN get out of the home and into a career doesn't mean they always SHOULD. The women who came before us and fought for these rights didn't fight for us to get out of the home, they fought for us to have a CHOICE. :)
  • lcoulter23
    lcoulter23 Posts: 568 Member
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    The only thing I can say that is good about me being home all day is that I get to research about my son's disability (he has autism) and go to his doctor appointments with him and work with advocates. The biggest downside is that we only have one car and I can't get out to do any errands because the nearest bus stop is over three miles away and then the bus system here is so unreliable and my son HAS to have a schedule. Also, since my hubby only makes 9.10 an hour and works an hour away we don't have much money to start with so I have started couponing and the time I am at home allows me to look at sales and stuff but I only devote about 5 hours a week to it. I still save us upwards of 50 percent on our grocery bills though. the other downside is that I have very limited contact with people outside of my house during the week unless my husband has a day during the week off. I don't completely hate being home all the time but it isn't my favorite thing either.
  • millermichellelea
    millermichellelea Posts: 226
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    It is your life and your path ~~~ people give advice off of their wants, needs, desires and experiences. Which means---their path may not be right for ours. You know what will make you happy --- that is your answer. :smile:
  • GrampsWooha
    GrampsWooha Posts: 184
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    pay no attention to the haters. its your life and if that what makes u happy then go for it!
  • AlyssaAmes3
    AlyssaAmes3 Posts: 26 Member
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    I think we may be twins LOL! I am a stay at home wife and mother and a current college student and I love it all. I wouldnt have it any other way. I get remarks sometimes but I dont let it bother me for to long. I like taking care of my husband and son. I like having a clean and tidy house and have fun cooking meals. My husband takes car of ALL the outside housework. He mows, cuts, splits and stacks firewood, weed wacks and is currently buidling himself a tool shed. Not to mention he works a full time job plus works on the side as a Handy man. I know how you feel. I always feel like i have to defend my choices (especially to my family and mother who think women should not be controlled by a man and do as they please no matter what). FYI my husband does not control me. Just like you we take care of eachother but it different ways. Do what you want to do for you and your family no matter what others may think. You're already doing more than me by planning an at home bakery! Congrats!
  • Britt22706
    Britt22706 Posts: 97
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    first of all, I am with you. I love to take care of my man and he loves to take care of me. And by accident we have taken on those "gender roles" because I don't mind the cleaning and cooking ( I LOVE to cook!) and he doesn't mind being mister fix it and what not. I'd say, whatever works for you two, do it. Whatever makes you both happy! Especialyl yourself, whatever makes you happy!!
  • jamontagne
    jamontagne Posts: 115
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    I want the "best of both worlds" lol. I want to be a stay-at-home mom, "barefoot and pregnant" for about 4 years so we have 3 kids but I want to work and be able to depend on my own income if ever neccessary. So ... I found a job that will allow me to work from home via a home office. I will be able to actually work for a company - putting in a typical 40hrs/week while still being home with kids and taking care of the house. :) As a matter of fact - by the time we have kids (probably 2 years from now) I'll most likely be making more money than my fiance.

    So ... I'll be the "bread-winner" and "housewife" - and my fiance will jsut be a nice little extra in my life hahahaha

    That is waht feminists (spelling) fought for - the right to choose whatever path we want with no one telling us what to do - AKA FREEDOM!!
  • Chiquita_Banana
    Chiquita_Banana Posts: 500
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    So I recently had somebody talk down to me because of this and I wondered if I am the only one who does this/ feels this way?

    I genuinely enjoy taking care of my fiance because I know that he takes care of me, we just do it in different ways! I take care of the house, do the cleaning, the dishes (though he does do the dishes now and then when he knows I am too busy), do the laundry, and cook. I like to have a clean house and to be able to make him a hot meal when he gets home from work. On the other hand, he does the lawn work and the carpentry stuff on the house (we're remodeling a lot on our house). After we have kids, I want to be a stay at home mom so that I can take care of the kids and keep a clean house. I love being home and being able to cook healthy meals. When I was growing up, I didn't have that. My mom worked and we always had fast food for dinner. I have been independent most of my life, though, so I am starting an in-home bakery right now while I still have a day job in the hopes of it being pretty successful by the time we have kids and I quit my job. This way I will still be bringing an income into the house to help with everyday things. I don't, in any way, want to have to rely on my fiance financially.

    Somebody the other day asked us what our plans were after marriage. After finding out I wanted to be a house wife they said some not so nice things and told me to look up what women went through to have rights in this country. I'm not saying all women should stay home and none of us should work, and since I want to do the in-home bakery I think I will still be working, just at home. So am I the only one that likes to do the housework and cook??? I don't feel like I'm degrading myself by doing this!
    I am going to put this as nicely as I can. Why do you care what those people think? I would have shot back, You are right, I can make my own choice and staying at home is my choice. Ironically, your comments are doing more to suppress my rights with that pseudo-feminazi crap you are spewing. Who are you to judge?

    Maybe you would want to state it a little nicer.

    so agree, we have the right to choose what we want to do whereas before, nots o much choice, do whats best for you and your family and dont mind what people think.
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
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    I stay at home and raise 5 kid's I clean cook do laundry everything a homemaker should be doing. We work hard and some people are just ****'s don't let it bother you just do that math if they had to pay a babysitter..a cook.. a housekeeper.. a laundry service... a driver.. a nurse.. an accountant and someone to wipe the tears of everyone in the family those *kitten* holes would go broke so I say tell them to suck it suck it hard and get over the fact that they get their balls put to the wall by people who pay them jack **** for being their *****es all day :D I got no boss and noone to answer to so yeah more power to you sweetie do what you do be proud of who you are and what you want to be and everyone else can be non existant because your job is the job that really matters.
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
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    Ps.. It's been said to me too and I have no problem telling them my thoughts on the matter but I don't let them get to me :heart:
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
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    Being a stay at home mum IS a job...really, women who do this have my utmost admiration. :flowerforyou:
  • leni1us
    leni1us Posts: 836 Member
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    I think you got a resounding - "Who cares what they think!!" from just about everybody. Do what you feel is best for you and your family.
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
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    Women wanted to have a CHOICE. You have that. Do what makes the two of your happy.

    This exactly. Women wanted the right to choose.

    As an aside, I have a couple of friends that are stay at home moms / housewives. I'm seriously in awe of the cool things they can do that I can't. I just do not have the aptitude to be a housewife.
  • osmoticferocity
    osmoticferocity Posts: 23
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    If you're able to make that choice, you're both extremely lucky.

    As for me, I don't really care one way or another about gender roles. If I had a ladyfriend sweet enough to take care of me, I'd count myself blessed. And if I had a ladyfriend with a six figure pay check who didn't need me to contribute financially, I'd gladly mind the household duties.
  • NA_Willie
    NA_Willie Posts: 340 Member
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    Yeah it was really terrible in the days when all Moms stayed at home. I mean there were no school shootings or latchkey kids or all this other garbage.

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