Food to me is like alcohol to an alcoholic
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What an incredibly helpful piece of wisdom.0 -
The topic headline caught my attention- I can so relate. I often feel so hungry at night and the cravings for carbs is so bad that I do look like an alcoholic searching everywhere for something to kill the urge. There are some good ideas here but it is obvious that some folks (those that don't get the terrible cravings) just do not understand how hard it is. I too can be an emotional eater. Counseling isn't the answer. I know my issues and why I have them. But just like other behaviors that are linked to emotions and our sense of worth we need to find ways to deal with the triggers. A counselor might be able to give suggestions for ways to identify and what to do instead but we know ourselves the best and only we can make those differences that are sustainable for the long haul. OA might be a good way also to get the encouragement and helpful ideas we need. I might look for one in my small rural area. Good luck and remember you are never alone in this journey.0
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@Jack_NYC alcoholics have to drink, but they do not have to drink alcohol. Compulsive Overeaters have to eat, but they do not have to eat chips/donuts/cakes/girl scout cookies or whatever it is that they can't control.
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I suffered in silence for about 3 years. I chalked my weight gain to my line of work, I am a chef. But when I found myself making a cake then it being gone in 2 days, only to find out I was the one who ate the whole thing, or buying candy at the store eating the whole bag in minutes so I could hide it from my wife. Feeling like I was out of control when it came to certain foods. I just had no way to stop or limit myself. I would hide what I ate from my family, and lie to my kids about where their candy went. I would try to diet to lose weight and I would do good for a while then one slip and it would derail everything I had lost to that point. It was a constant battle within myself. I honestly had no control when it came to food. I would find things at work to make, or bake just to be able to have samples of it, which in turn led to me eating it. I figured out how to make the cream filling of an oreo cookie, then put the cream on EVERYTHING. It is a scary place to be when you battle your own mind for control and lose all the time. That in turn makes things worse, because now you feel like you have failed, and then you eat more to cope with those feelings. It is awful, but if you realize and acknowledge that there is a problem, and you take the hard steps to get help, the help that is out there actually works. So I did that I was so bad and out of control I knew I could no longer do this on my own, so I got help. Now since getting help I for the first time in years feel like I am in control of what I eat, and how much I eat. I still get urges to eat sweets, and crappy food, but now I can have 1 cookie, instead of the entire bag. So my issue and I may have over shared on this post, was that I had Binge Eating Disorder. So to the OP do not be afraid to ask and seek out help. This place is a good support system and most people are very knowledgeable, and helpful, but that is no substitute for getting true medical help if it is needed.0
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No? So you think a compulsive overeater can stop eating entirely? What would they live on?
You and I have such an obvious disparity of reasoning regarding this subject that it's not even worth either of us trying to convince one or the other.
You think over eaters have it harder than alcoholics.
I think that's a laughable assertion.
Let's leave it at that.
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I suffered in silence for about 3 years. I chalked my weight gain to my line of work, I am a chef. But when I found myself making a cake then it being gone in 2 days, only to find out I was the one who ate the whole thing, or buying candy at the store eating the whole bag in minutes so I could hide it from my wife. Feeling like I was out of control when it came to certain foods. I just had no way to stop or limit myself. I would hide what I ate from my family, and lie to my kids about where their candy went. I would try to diet to lose weight and I would do good for a while then one slip and it would derail everything I had lost to that point. It was a constant battle within myself. I honestly had no control when it came to food. I would find things at work to make, or bake just to be able to have samples of it, which in turn led to me eating it. I figured out how to make the cream filling of an oreo cookie, then put the cream on EVERYTHING. It is a scary place to be when you battle your own mind for control and lose all the time. That in turn makes things worse, because now you feel like you have failed, and then you eat more to cope with those feelings. It is awful, but if you realize and acknowledge that there is a problem, and you take the hard steps to get help, the help that is out there actually works. So I did that I was so bad and out of control I knew I could no longer do this on my own, so I got help. Now since getting help I for the first time in years feel like I am in control of what I eat, and how much I eat. I still get urges to eat sweets, and crappy food, but now I can have 1 cookie, instead of the entire bag. So my issue and I may have over shared on this post, was that I had Binge Eating Disorder. So to the OP do not be afraid to ask and seek out help. This place is a good support system and most people are very knowledgeable, and helpful, but that is no substitute for getting true medical help if it is needed.
Thanks for sharing. I completely understand. It's so easy to go into the downward spiral. One day at a time is now my motto.0 -
@Jack_NYC alcoholics have to drink, but they do not have to drink alcohol. Compulsive Overeaters have to eat, but they do not have to eat chips/donuts/cakes/girl scout cookies or whatever it is that they can't control.
True statement. Thought maybe I offended you. I agree whole heartedly with your statements. I have friends who are recovering alcoholics, also have those that have overcome Meth(to whomever replied with that statement). No matter the addiction, it's a struggle and is easier to handle when you have people to turn to that support and encourage.
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@Jack_NYC alcoholics have to drink, but they do not have to drink alcohol. Compulsive Overeaters have to eat, but they do not have to eat chips/donuts/cakes/girl scout cookies or whatever it is that they can't control.
True statement. Thought maybe I offended you. I agree whole heartedly with your statements. I have friends who are recovering alcoholics, also have those that have overcome Meth(to whomever replied with that statement). No matter the addiction, it's a struggle and is easier to handle when you have people to turn to that support and encourage.
No, you're right. It is offensive to make that comparison. I don't know why someone would compare "falling off the wagon" in your diet to the struggle of an alcoholic.0 -
Yep, forgive yourself. We all have weaknesses. You have just motivated me to pitch the stupid brownies a "friend" brought over. Tired of saving them for hubby and looking at them. Also the "shrimp chips" another family brought over, not to mention the "400 gold dollar chocolates" another friend brought over. GEEZ!!!!!Yep, forgive yourself. We all have weaknesses. You have just motivated me to pitch the stupid brownies a "friend" brought over. Tired of saving them for hubby and looking at them. Also the "shrimp chips" another family brought over, not to mention the "400 gold dollar chocolates" another friend brought over. GEEZ!!!!
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Have you read anything by Gretchen Rubin? She talks about moderators vs. abstainers. Moderators can have "just a little bit" of chocolate, chips, anything, and be fine. For me - I'm an abstainer - because one bite of something like that and I'll just keep going. I know lots of people say moderation is the key, but I truly just can't. I would rather have none than a little bit because I never stop at that little bit. And believe it or not, it's actually easier for me to have none than a little bit. Might work for you. Check out her stuff - she has books on amazon and a page on FB.
It think I will fall in the abstainers category as well. Will definitely check it out. Thanks.0 -
No? So you think a compulsive overeater can stop eating entirely? What would they live on?
Wha???
My thoughts exactly. Wha???
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That is not going through be a useful analogy for you. Drinkers, drug users or gamblers can choose to absent themselves from temptations & triggers using the AA model, but you WILL need to eat for the rest of your life.
The good news? Even alcoholics don't get 100% success from that model and there are other ways to go about changing old patterns.
I can't even begin to direct you to the kind of expert guidance you will need, but I am here to encourage you that you absolutely can change, grow and succeed. Hold that truth firmly in mind starting right now today. There are many paths to healing, wholeness and recovery. Find yours now, and stop making excuses about it being futile. You are as deserving of a healthy relationship with food as anyone else. You do not have to settle for old broken habits of mind.
Best wishes to you! xo0 -
Very timely discussion. I came here to write a similar "failures" post. I sat down with a bag of Tostitos and a jar of salsa after already wolfing down half a bag of mini peppermint patties. I'm so full my stomach hurts and yet I'm having trouble stopping. I feel like I'm at the top of the slippery slope and losing my balance. I've lost 77 pounds and just hit the top of my goal range and don't want to go backwards. I've gone over my calorie goal before but never to the point that I couldn't log it even if I wanted to. The only difference is that I don't think sympathy and understanding would help me. I was going to ask for a good, swift kick in the butt. However I think we're both saying the same thing. We feel like we're out of control and want help.0
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Shenvalleygurl wrote: »IF you are like me, there is no such thing as moderation. It's one bite = slippery slide to eventual Binge City OR nothing. IF you are like me, then I recommend giving up on moderation. IF food to you really is like alcohol to an alcoholic, then the writing is on the wall. Alcoholics don't go to a bar for "just one drink."
Give our culture a big fat middle finger and refuse to buy in to "food is love," "food is required to celebrate," "a calorie is a calorie." It's a lie (for me anyway). Whatever your trigger foods are DON'T.TOUCH.THEM.EVER.AGAIN. And grieve that fact. It's a loss. It's really f***ing sad. Here's my sad face for our loss :-(
But if those foods stand between you and your goal then they must go. Give them the boot. Just say no. Work it you're worth it! One day at a time. Let go and let ... oh, well, you get my point.
I hope this doesn't sound critical, this is the only thing that has actually worked for me, so it's all I can recommend.
And I found the exact opposite to be true for myself. The more I tell myself that I can't eat something the less control I have around it when I am exposed to it.
Once I realized that my binges were a mental problem and not actually tired to a specific food, I could actually start to address the issue.0
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