My boyfriend is 12 years older than me. Do guys want kids quite soon after marriage?

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  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    Really? This is a conversation to have with HIM not internet nobodies.....
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    What a bizarre question. Men are individuals regardless of age, and therefore they will all vary regarding whether at all or when they want kids.

    Surely whether he wants kids, when and who with is something you would need to discuss with him?
  • sabrinasmith7
    sabrinasmith7 Posts: 583 Member
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    Krishnaya108 wrote: »
    Hello, my boyfriend is 12 years older than me. There's a possibility that I will get married when I'm 20 or 22. Do older guys want kids only after couple years of marriage? I personally don't want kids until my late 20s or early 30s. I just feel like they're a huge responsibility and I won't have much time to have fun. Plus, I want to make the most out of my career before having kids. Thoughts?

    I feel the same as you lol my fiance was all for kids when we first got together, and i just wasnt. Its not that i dont like kids but id like to enjoy life first and complete everything i want to. And now that we've gotten this far, planning a wedding while trying to save for a house ect, he said yesterday hes scared to have kids now because of all the responsibility and definitely wants to do us first. Which is great cause im not having them anytime soon. Lol and he said "your also much younger than me so its not a big deal." So we've gladly come to an agreement on it finally. I guess it depends on the guy, if your that much younger than him, screw it you have plenty of time to have them lol
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.
  • phildog49
    phildog49 Posts: 31 Member
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    What's the rush?
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    Age is just a number but when you're 18 and he is 30....let's just say maybe marriage isn't his only goal in this relationship...since we are generalizing men here anyway...
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
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    I wouldn't want to be retirement age with a kid still in HS...but that's just me.
  • 294Rich
    294Rich Posts: 171 Member
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    A 4 ft 11 inch 18 year old girl, and that's now. As a guy in his 30s, I can tell you that that is not right.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    I'm actually surprised it took this long to come up...
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,982 Member
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    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    I dated a 36 yo when I was 18. We had plenty of drinks together. He wanted me to be the third Mrs. R., but I joined the military instead. We were too far apart for it to work out long term, but it was fun while it lasted. We hooked back up for a while when I was 30. I still think of him fondly.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Krishnaya108 wrote: »
    Hello, my boyfriend is 12 years older than me. There's a possibility that I will get married when I'm 20 or 22. Do older guys want kids only after couple years of marriage? I personally don't want kids until my late 20s or early 30s. I just feel like they're a huge responsibility and I won't have much time to have fun. Plus, I want to make the most out of my career before having kids. Thoughts?

    If you can't have this conversation with the man you're seriously considering marrying, you shouldn't be considering marrying him.

    "Older guys" do not get together once a year at a convention and decide what they want. Your boyfriend is an individual man with individual desires. Ask him.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    tumblr_ngck4u1Ou21t3mjj1o2_r1_500.gif
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    kshama2001 wrote: »
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    I dated a 36 yo when I was 18. We had plenty of drinks together. He wanted me to be the third Mrs. R., but I joined the military instead. We were too far apart for it to work out long term, but it was fun while it lasted. We hooked back up for a while when I was 30. I still think of him fondly.

    I hope when I'm 36-40 I can talk 18 year old chicks into sleeping with me, sounds fun!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    odusgolp wrote: »
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    Totes!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Escloflowne wrote: »
    odusgolp wrote: »
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    Totes!


    153474
  • timdeeseven
    timdeeseven Posts: 11 Member
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    odusgolp wrote: »
    tumblr_ngck4u1Ou21t3mjj1o2_r1_500.gif

    commonwealth-3.gif
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 701 Member
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    Everyone is different, even "older guys". We can't tell you what he wants or what's better for you. Talk to your boyfriend about it, go over the pros and cons. Be straightforward and tell him you don't want kids until later and why and take what he says in response at face value. Then talk about it again further down the line before you get married (maybe when you get engaged) to make sure you're still both on the same page on whether you want them, when you want them, and how to raise them if you have them. You might change your mind, he might, or you both might. You're still really young and you don't have to make a permanent decision now or anytime soon. (For reference, my older husband's current stance on kids is "if we find one in the woods, we can keep it".) ;)
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
    edited March 2016
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    At 18 dating a 30 year old the odds aren't great that you'll be getting married (when did you actually tell your parents btw?) but if you do and you are considering children it's going to depend a lot on where you both are in your lives. I had my youngest at 42 so it's not a race against the clock by any stretch for most men.
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