My boyfriend is 12 years older than me. Do guys want kids quite soon after marriage?

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Replies

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    I dated a 36 yo when I was 18. We had plenty of drinks together. He wanted me to be the third Mrs. R., but I joined the military instead. We were too far apart for it to work out long term, but it was fun while it lasted. We hooked back up for a while when I was 30. I still think of him fondly.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Hello, my boyfriend is 12 years older than me. There's a possibility that I will get married when I'm 20 or 22. Do older guys want kids only after couple years of marriage? I personally don't want kids until my late 20s or early 30s. I just feel like they're a huge responsibility and I won't have much time to have fun. Plus, I want to make the most out of my career before having kids. Thoughts?

    If you can't have this conversation with the man you're seriously considering marrying, you shouldn't be considering marrying him.

    "Older guys" do not get together once a year at a convention and decide what they want. Your boyfriend is an individual man with individual desires. Ask him.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    tumblr_ngck4u1Ou21t3mjj1o2_r1_500.gif
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    I dated a 36 yo when I was 18. We had plenty of drinks together. He wanted me to be the third Mrs. R., but I joined the military instead. We were too far apart for it to work out long term, but it was fun while it lasted. We hooked back up for a while when I was 30. I still think of him fondly.

    I hope when I'm 36-40 I can talk 18 year old chicks into sleeping with me, sounds fun!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    odusgolp wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    Totes!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    edited March 2016
    odusgolp wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    Totes!


    153474
  • timdeeseven
    timdeeseven Posts: 11 Member
    odusgolp wrote: »
    tumblr_ngck4u1Ou21t3mjj1o2_r1_500.gif

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  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
    Everyone is different, even "older guys". We can't tell you what he wants or what's better for you. Talk to your boyfriend about it, go over the pros and cons. Be straightforward and tell him you don't want kids until later and why and take what he says in response at face value. Then talk about it again further down the line before you get married (maybe when you get engaged) to make sure you're still both on the same page on whether you want them, when you want them, and how to raise them if you have them. You might change your mind, he might, or you both might. You're still really young and you don't have to make a permanent decision now or anytime soon. (For reference, my older husband's current stance on kids is "if we find one in the woods, we can keep it".) ;)
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
    edited March 2016
    At 18 dating a 30 year old the odds aren't great that you'll be getting married (when did you actually tell your parents btw?) but if you do and you are considering children it's going to depend a lot on where you both are in your lives. I had my youngest at 42 so it's not a race against the clock by any stretch for most men.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    I dated a 36 yo when I was 18. We had plenty of drinks together. He wanted me to be the third Mrs. R., but I joined the military instead. We were too far apart for it to work out long term, but it was fun while it lasted. We hooked back up for a while when I was 30. I still think of him fondly.

    I hope when I'm 36-40 I can talk 18 year old chicks into sleeping with me, sounds fun!

    My body was hotter then, but I am way better in bed now ;)
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    I dated a 36 yo when I was 18. We had plenty of drinks together. He wanted me to be the third Mrs. R., but I joined the military instead. We were too far apart for it to work out long term, but it was fun while it lasted. We hooked back up for a while when I was 30. I still think of him fondly.

    I hope when I'm 36-40 I can talk 18 year old chicks into sleeping with me, sounds fun!

    My body was hotter then, but I am way better in bed now ;)

    oh-really-o.gif
  • zbakrjc
    zbakrjc Posts: 87 Member
    edited March 2016
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    I dated a 36 yo when I was 18. We had plenty of drinks together. He wanted me to be the third Mrs. R., but I joined the military instead. We were too far apart for it to work out long term, but it was fun while it lasted. We hooked back up for a while when I was 30. I still think of him fondly.

    I hope when I'm 36-40 I can talk 18 year old chicks into sleeping with me, sounds fun!

    When I was 20 I dated a man that was 40. Nothing wrong with that at all. I don't know that it would have been a forever thing but it was great while it lasted.

    zbakrjc
  • Char231023
    Char231023 Posts: 700 Member
    How long have y'all been together?
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    edited March 2016
    odusgolp wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    According to the dating formula, you are too young to date him. His minimum dating age is 22. The only way he is having a baby with you is if he knocks you up. Enjoy being his fling that he doesn't have to take out anywhere because you're too young to get in.
  • zbakrjc
    zbakrjc Posts: 87 Member
    edited March 2016
    odusgolp wrote: »
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    According to the dating formula, you are too young to date him. His minimum dating age is 22. The only way he is having a baby with you is if he knocks you up. Enjoy being his fling that he doesn't have to take out anywhere because you're too young to get in.

    What dating formula?

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  • zbakrjc
    zbakrjc Posts: 87 Member
    edited March 2016
    zbakrjc wrote: »
    odusgolp wrote: »
    what kind of I-see-what-you-did-there.jpg thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    According to the dating formula, you are too young to date him. His minimum dating age is 22. The only way he is having a baby with you is if he knocks you up. Enjoy being his fling that he doesn't have to take out anywhere because you're too young to get in.

    What dating formula?

    half your age plus 7- anything younger and its creepy.

    I don't think that's totally true once you're at least 21. I understand that 18 - 20 is a bit too young to hang out at clubs but after that I wouldn't call it creepy.

    zbakrjc
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  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
    zbakrjc wrote: »
    zbakrjc wrote: »
    odusgolp wrote: »
    what kind of zbakrjc thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    According to the dating formula, you are too young to date him. His minimum dating age is 22. The only way he is having a baby with you is if he knocks you up. Enjoy being his fling that he doesn't have to take out anywhere because you're too young to get in.

    What dating formula?

    half your age plus 7- anything younger and its creepy.

    I don't think that's totally true once you're at least 21. I understand that 18 - 20 is a bit too young to hang out at clubs but after that I wouldn't call it creepy.

    zbakrjc

    There isn't any real forumula for human interaction but hey people believe in all sorts of crazy stuff. However, there is a point where you have to think there is something a little off.
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
    zbakrjc wrote: »
    zbakrjc wrote: »
    odusgolp wrote: »
    what kind of zbakrjc thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    According to the dating formula, you are too young to date him. His minimum dating age is 22. The only way he is having a baby with you is if he knocks you up. Enjoy being his fling that he doesn't have to take out anywhere because you're too young to get in.

    What dating formula?

    half your age plus 7- anything younger and its creepy.

    I don't think that's totally true once you're at least 21. I understand that 18 - 20 is a bit too young to hang out at clubs but after that I wouldn't call it creepy.

    zbakrjc

    ain't my rules. that's just what society says man

    LOL, I've never seen "society" give that rule out, especially since "society" can't even read at a grade 10 level or do math at a grade 8 level.
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  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
    So much judgement on the age gap here, there aren't rules on this other than what the law says. And the law in this case has no problem. Nobody has the right to turn their nose up at these two for their difference in years, that is entirely up to them.
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
    edited March 2016
    zbakrjc wrote: »
    zbakrjc wrote: »
    odusgolp wrote: »
    what kind of zbakrjc thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

    Don't be silly, they're sooooo marrying and having babies.

    According to the dating formula, you are too young to date him. His minimum dating age is 22. The only way he is having a baby with you is if he knocks you up. Enjoy being his fling that he doesn't have to take out anywhere because you're too young to get in.

    What dating formula?

    half your age plus 7- anything younger and its creepy.

    I don't think that's totally true once you're at least 21. I understand that 18 - 20 is a bit too young to hang out at clubs but after that I wouldn't call it creepy.

    zbakrjc

    ain't my rules. that's just what society says man

    LOL, I've never seen "society" give that rule out, especially since "society" can't even read at a grade 10 level or do math at a grade 8 level.

    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=half+your+age+plus+7

    its gotta be true if its on urban dictionary

    I know the Urban Dictionary is up there with the Constitution for law, with Nature for scientific facts and the Bible for religious truths! Oh, and something about a bunch of modern slangs...
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  • Markdjones83
    Markdjones83 Posts: 852 Member
    what kind of thirty year old dates an 18 year old?? you guys can't even have a drink together.

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  • mrschikin
    mrschikin Posts: 45 Member
    If you're not able to speak about this openly, you're not ready to get married. Talk to him, not to random strangers on the internet.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Hello, my boyfriend is 12 years older than me. There's a possibility that I will get married when I'm 20 or 22. Do older guys want kids only after couple years of marriage? I personally don't want kids until my late 20s or early 30s. I just feel like they're a huge responsibility and I won't have much time to have fun. Plus, I want to make the most out of my career before having kids. Thoughts?

    Shouldn't you be asking your boyfriend these questions????
  • x311Tifa
    x311Tifa Posts: 357 Member
    Hello, my boyfriend is 12 years older than me. There's a possibility that I will get married when I'm 20 or 22. Do older guys want kids only after couple years of marriage? I personally don't want kids until my late 20s or early 30s. I just feel like they're a huge responsibility and I won't have much time to have fun. Plus, I want to make the most out of my career before having kids. Thoughts?

    Shouldn't you be asking your boyfriend these questions????

    ^^ This.
  • Pittshkr_
    Pittshkr_ Posts: 99 Member
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