So you just woke up one day and...
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JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »Oh how little empathy the people on this site have. Smh. I knew better than to post about this. Lesson learned. I hope none of you ever have a bad day, just to have someone say "suck it up." If you don't have anything nice to say....
But thank you to everyone who responded with their experiences and words of encouragement. I sincerely doubt that there has eve been an obese person who never had a moment of self-doubt and self-pity. Smh.
Instead of whinging about a perceived lack of empathy, consider that a lot of the posters in this thread have been where you are and are giving you the honest truth about what you need to do. We can sit around her and blow smoke up your *kitten* all day but the bottom line is that until you change your woe-is-me attitude and actually take steps in the right direction, your weight and fitness level are not going to improve. As my dad would say, "s*** or get off the pot."0 -
There's a lot of ways to care for your body and it might help start thinking of offering your body nutrients and food to make it healthy and feel good instead of thinking "I'll lose weight by eating less and healthier". Exercise to make your body stronger, faster and more flexible to be able to do things you want to do. Offer and give instead of take away and force it. That's how I have started to think and I haven't had it this easy before.0
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JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »Oh how little empathy the people on this site have. Smh. I knew better than to post about this. Lesson learned. I hope none of you ever have a bad day, just to have someone say "suck it up." If you don't have anything nice to say....
But thank you to everyone who responded with their experiences and words of encouragement. I sincerely doubt that there has ever been an obese person who never had a moment of self-doubt and self-pity. Smh.
really did you read my first post?
I have bad days but I suck it up...think about the day I ate a 1590 calorie sandwich for breakfast...did I beat myself up? nope? did I call myself stupid? nope...just moved more and ate reasonably for the rest of the day.
self doubt is one thing self pity is another esp when you come to the internet for more.0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?
pretty much yes
took me 30 years to get to that point ...I'd suggest you don't leave it as long and commit0 -
I'm on day 506 of logging everything I eat. Prior to this time period, I had 15 years of trying to lose weight, losing some, gaining it back, giving up, starting again.
I think this time I had a day where I was scared and determined enough to seriously improve my health. I was in pain and needed to change so I could live the life I wanted. I didn't put a deadline on my weight loss. I was determined that I would eat like a normal human being and not kill myself with exercise. No restrictive diet and aiming for 30 minutes of exercise.
The exercise was the hardest part because I was in very poor shape starting out. I was out of breath just climbing stairs in my house. I couldn't even bend over very well. I found some seated workouts on You Tube that I could do for older, obese or injured people (Live Exercise launchpad, Priority One, Jessica Smith TV). It wasn't sexy or cool but eventually I could do more walking based workouts (more Jessica Smith, Leslie Sansone). Now I can mix things up more.
I started prelogging my food for the day every morning before breakfast and found it was pretty easy to do that and just eat what I had logged. Logging is a habit like brushing my teeth now. I eat pretty much the same stuff my family eats just appropriate portions for me.
I did not lose 25 lbs all in one month and I am not at my ultimate goal yet but I am 9 lbs away from not being overweight anymore, at my lowest weight in 5 years and feeling so much better that no way am I stopping watching my calorie intake. I don't think about forever, just what I have to do with the day in front of me. Every day is a new day with new choices.0 -
I have a thyroid issue and have had one for my entire life, just about. I started losing weight about 4 years ago and it was because I was just so frustrated with how I looked and felt. My best friend started me on MFP and I started blogging to keep myself accountable. I got pregnant with my son, had him and gained 60 pounds. It took me almost 2 years but I finally hit my breaking point and am back to basics. It's HARD to lose weight with a thyroid issue and it's even harder to keep it off. You just have to be dedicated and take any progress in a positive way, 5 lbs in a month is normal and is GREAT. Look at your achievements as what they are, a great step and a success and look at your downfalls as bad days and don't let them turn into bad weeks/months/years. Having a negative outlook on it does not help, also don't look at it as a diet, look at it as you are changing the way you look at food and doing the best thing you can to keep yourself healthy. Best of luck.0
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LOL I totally missed the part where you believe that other peoples sympathy or empathy is going to make the difference to your ability to not stuff too many calories into your mouth
well you have my empathy ...been there, done that, got the t-shirts .. in loads of different sizes
doesn't change anything though does it0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »Oh how little empathy the people on this site have. Smh. I knew better than to post about this. Lesson learned. I hope none of you ever have a bad day, just to have someone say "suck it up." If you don't have anything nice to say....
But thank you to everyone who responded with their experiences and words of encouragement. I sincerely doubt that there has ever been an obese person who never had a moment of self-doubt and self-pity. Smh.
really did you read my first post?
I have bad days but I suck it up...think about the day I ate a 1590 calorie sandwich for breakfast...did I beat myself up? nope? did I call myself stupid? nope...just moved more and ate reasonably for the rest of the day.
self doubt is one thing self pity is another esp when you come to the internet for more.
Holy moly! I hope it tasted good.0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »Five pounds in a month is a great loss, at a bit over a pound a week.
I told myself that it was going to take a long time. I figured eighteen months to my goal at the time. In reality, I've been at this since January 2014 and have been off track for the past 8-9 months, so I'm only now buckling down. But I've learned what works for me (moderation) and what doesn't (restriction).
Have you read this thread? https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
None of that is new information for me... Honestly I don't think there is any "new" information. 5lbs a month isn't enough for someone at my size.
I obviously just don't care enough about myself to do better.
Five pounds a month is great. You can lose five pounds a month and be 60 pounds lighter by this time next year. Or you can choose not to do anything and be as heavy as you are right now, but a year older with skin that has been stretched out for a year longer and has lost a bit more elasticity, meaning that if you do eventually lose the weight its ability to shrink back is likely to be a bit more diminished.
I don't know if this helps the OP, but I appreciate what you wrote here. Awesome! I like the way you looked at this!0 -
I didn't 'just wake up one day'. It took me months and months to prepare myself mentally to actually change my lifestyle, and not just eat less for a few months to lose weight. But that's why I stuck to it... I was actually ready.
I'd say that 99% of people who try to lose weight just don't see the big picture and don't really realize what it entails to lose weight and maintain that loss. So they give up as soon as soon as it gets harder than they thought. You got to realize when you start that you'll never be able to eat the same way again, that you'll probably still have to restrict yourself after you lose the weight, that some months you won't lose as much as others, but telling yourself that even if the scale doesn't show up, you're getting healthier and stronger.0 -
Yesterday I didn't get my workout in, ate McDs (which would have been fine had I worked out), ate a whole large Easter egg and then finished the day with cheese and crackers. 2500 calories in total. Am I crying over it and letting it stop me from continuing to make progress? Nope!
So yes, we do empathise and we do have bad days. Nobody is perfect. We're all still learning but what we do is keep going. Keep picking ourselves up. And we don't sit in a corner having a pity party using our perception of others having no empathy as an excuse not to just get started or keep going.0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »Five pounds in a month is a great loss, at a bit over a pound a week.
I told myself that it was going to take a long time. I figured eighteen months to my goal at the time. In reality, I've been at this since January 2014 and have been off track for the past 8-9 months, so I'm only now buckling down. But I've learned what works for me (moderation) and what doesn't (restriction).
Have you read this thread? https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
None of that is new information for me... Honestly I don't think there is any "new" information. 5lbs a month isn't enough for someone at my size.
I obviously just don't care enough about myself to do better.
You are correct, there is no new information. Weight loss is the same as it's always been. You have to consume less calories than your body needs, thus forcing it to burn fat for fuel. Moving more helps in many ways. This hasn't and won't change.
Whether you care enough about yourself to do what needs to be done is something only you can decide. I hope you do. Best of luck to you.0 -
You just finally don't quit this time. Everything else you can figure out as you go.0
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you've gotta want it.0
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JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »Oh how little empathy the people on this site have. Smh. I knew better than to post about this. Lesson learned. I hope none of you ever have a bad day, just to have someone say "suck it up." If you don't have anything nice to say....
But thank you to everyone who responded with their experiences and words of encouragement. I sincerely doubt that there has ever been an obese person who never had a moment of self-doubt and self-pity. Smh.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that's a universal experience. The problem is, that's the only way to succeed, and those of who have lost the weight have learned to just that, mixed with faltering and whining and a whole lot of deciding not to quit, no matter how discouraged you get or how many times you mess up.
I'm really not trying to be harsh, and I do have compassion, because I'm not one for whom this process has been easy, but that's just the hard reality of the process.0 -
BruinsGal_91 wrote: »JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »Oh how little empathy the people on this site have. Smh. I knew better than to post about this. Lesson learned. I hope none of you ever have a bad day, just to have someone say "suck it up." If you don't have anything nice to say....
But thank you to everyone who responded with their experiences and words of encouragement. I sincerely doubt that there has ever been an obese person who never had a moment of self-doubt and self-pity. Smh.
really did you read my first post?
I have bad days but I suck it up...think about the day I ate a 1590 calorie sandwich for breakfast...did I beat myself up? nope? did I call myself stupid? nope...just moved more and ate reasonably for the rest of the day.
self doubt is one thing self pity is another esp when you come to the internet for more.
Holy moly! I hope it tasted good.
It was...eggs scrambled with ground sausage, bacon, ham and cheese between two slices of grilled, using maple butter, bread..Denny's Slamwich...0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?
You don't.
First, 5 lbs in a month is good. Getting discouraged for not getting biggest loser type success may be one of the problems.
Second, what helped me was getting over the idea that I'm either on or off, being good or it doesn't matter.
Baby steps.
When I started this time (back in January 2014 with about 100 lbs I wanted to lose) I set a bunch of goals. Some of them were weight loss related, absolutely. But more of them were process goals and mini goals so I could have successes along the way and measure my improvement.
I love being an active person, so I had activity goals (and I strongly advice finding activity you enjoy or teaching yourself to enjoy them). Initially, though, I was out of shape and had finally learned that overdoing and burning out is a bad idea, so I focused on walking everywhere I possibly could. Then, as I lost I set goals to run a 5K and 10K and ride my bike 30 miles and so on (I just did a marathon about a week ago).
I also set goals based on what other lifestyle changes I wanted, what kind of diet I wanted to eat (and this can also just be sticking to your calories every day).
Be nice to yourself and celebrate your successes.
All change is about forming new habits and happens gradually. We like to believe in these huge life-changing conversion moments, but it's rarely like that.
You can do this!0 -
I woke up one day and enough was enough. Granted, I was 18 years old, with a BMI of 24 and still that youthful belief which says 'you can do anything if you try!', so I won't pretend to fully comprehend the struggles of others. But I hated what I looked like and felt unfit and lumpy, so I made lots of little changes over time. I ate way past my calorie goal often, I missed workouts, I made foolish choices (like undereating), and some weeks I found it very hard to stick to routine or even to care about falling out of one. But as long as the sum total of your choices means you are moving in the right direction over time, that's the important thing.
That 5lbs could've been a 5lbs gain in that amount of time. Any loss is a victory.0 -
I just decided not to give up--ever. Can YOU say the same? If you've been around MFP awhile you knew exactly what the reaction to your attitude would be. You know very well that the successful people on here are dedicated, and that they would take you to task. Are you using that for an excuse to quit? Not a good idea, but when you decide to get serious, we'll still be here and ready to help you. Best of luck with your decision.0
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jennifer_417 wrote: »You just finally don't quit this time. Everything else you can figure out as you go.
that
in buckets
nobody has it any easier0 -
I didn't wake up one day, and boom! instantly change forever. I have to make the decision each and every morning to eat within my calorie limit for today. If you ask us, many people here will attest to the same thing. There's no magical change in attitude toward food one morning. Most of us make that decision every morning, and at every meal that we are either going to eat right or let ourselves go. Yes, that's a lot of trouble, making every bite of food a decision moment, but that's how we do it. The thing is, you are just as capable of doing that as we who have had some success with weight loss. Is measuring and logging food a pain in the neck? Can be. Is eating something that's lower calorie always what you want to do? No, but no one will suffer from adjusting their meal choice a bit. It sounds like for a month, you were right on the mark, losing 5lbs in a month is good! That's the perfect way to continue. You know now you can do it, because you did it. You just have to keep reminding yourself that weight loss is a long game. We are used to using food for instant gratification, and weight loss requires quite the opposite mindset. It helps me to think every time I eat that this food is not about what I want in the moment, but what I want health-wise several months down the road. You can do it! I know you can! Just know, it's not a magic change in attitude toward food. It's a mental workout every day to keep on track.0
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Just keep getting back on the wagon and don't give up trying. Because TODAY.... may just be that day for you.0
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Thanks for all the helpful stories and insight everyone. I appreciate the encouragement.0
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back in high school i was heavy and didn't have a lot of self confidence. i didn't ask a lot of girls out b/c i didn't think they would say yes, but i never thought of myself as heavy. gained weight my first semester in college, then over the Christmas break i was talking with a friend, and she mentioned how she wanted to lose weight, and i said i did too. It was the first time the idea occurred to me. We went to different schools, but we kept in touch and kept each other in check. By the summer I had lost about 90 lbs. kept it off really well (even though i was at a really low weight for my height and build), got in a comfortable relationship and slacked off a little. Over the past decade i yoyoed a little, but never got as heavy as i was in high school. the past couple years i've been really good at keeping my fitness up, but i don't always do great with my diet. a lot of my self esteem is tied in with my fitness level, and unfortunately right now I don't get a lot of self esteem boost from my marriage, so that keeps me in the gym/on the road and watching what i eat.0
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Sorry you don't feel like you are seeing enough empathy, but that is not what I see. To succeed you need to truly be ready. It takes determination and will power to succeed at this. The concept is easy, eat less move more, but to put it into actual practice, now that is the harder part. I lost 90 lbs in 2 years but gained 30 back. Now I am trying to lose the 30 lbs and an additional 10. There are good days and there are bad day. Right now I'm struggling with my calorie intake but I know its up to me. When I cry and go all woe is me to my husband what I get from him is "suck it up buttercup", and that is EXACTLY what I NEED and WANT to hear. I don't want him telling me "oh, its okay". Right now I would love to lose 5 lbs in a month. I don't remember the last time I lost that much in a month. Even in the very beginning when I was at my heaviest I was lucky to lose 2 maybe 4 pounds a month, but I was fine with that. At least the scale was going down and not up.1
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Keep trying! If you mess up, stop! Start again! Try, try, try! Those who "just woke up one day and did it" are lucky. You are going to have work a bit harder than they had too! Sorry, but that's the truth. I've been there where you're at. Sometimes I felt defeated, sometimes I felt empowered. Each time I started over I had a little more knowledge and experience from the previous attempt. I lost and regained over 100 pounds three times!!! This time I'm actually keeping it off!! I feel it, I know it, it's totally different (but I have to say, it's still a struggle.) Don't give up on yourself, you can do this! My hope for you is that journey to a healthier you is easier than mine was but please know you're not alone, it's not easy but you will do it!!!!0
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missblondi2u wrote: »FWIW, I've lost over 50 pounds since last June. It's been slow, and I've had a couple of minor setbacks (I'm talking to you, Thanksgiving!) but those 8.5 months would have passed anyway. Now instead of being even heavier and feeling worse, I've lost 25% of my body weight and feel fantastic! Like my mom always said, nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.
This. I don't try to focus too much on this week or this month as far as weight loss. I think about where I want to be a year from now. And I know I don't want to be heavier. My short term goals are all things I can control: eat within my calories, get 5 walks in a week. I add in a lot of fitness goals to keep me motivated. If I don't eat well one day, I just move on the next. Because I don't want to be heavier in a year, if I stick with it I'll be lighter by a little bit. But if I let one bad day turn into a bad week that will get me. So one bad day I say no, I'm not going to let this continue all week. Sure sometimes I just wanna eat bad and stop worrying about it. But I tell myself, I have the rest of my life to eat bad. I can eat a treat in another week or two weeks. But if I can't stick within my calories for a week, than what can I even do? Of course I can do this for a day...two days...a week. Can jog for 2 minutes...4 minutes...10 minutes. Just keep setting goals and working towards them.0 -
I have to wake up and start again every single day, making choices every hour of the day. It's not something people get right all the time.0
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For me the key was finding a personal trainer nearby who could give me the guidance, structure, and focus I needed. I established my plan, followed it, had more success than I ever expected, and developed good habits. I follow those habits daily regardless of how "motivated" I feel. I've had my share of medical issues and other challenges, as everyone does, but as my sister says, I am "relentless."
http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/woman-making-strides-in-weight-loss-fitness-2cecd299-3c0a-5674-e053-0100007f162c-370759861.html
Sw 301
CW 167
GW 150
21 months
60 yo
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My weight has gone up and down 25 lbs since I got out of high school. Every few years I lost the weight within a few months, and then a few years later it had crept back on because once I lost the weight, I didn't keep up with the restrictive diets and exercise I'd committed to for the sole purpose of losing the weight. This time, it's taken me 3 months to lose 20 lbs. I'll admit this is a good loss and honestly a bit quicker than I thought it would be. But the most important thing is that instead of focusing on the loss, I've focused on creating healthier habits and routines that I want to keep up even after I'm done losing weight. I no longer do any restrictive diets or crazy exercise plans. I eat what I want in moderate portions, and I do some sort of exercise each night, usually walking a few miles at a 4.0 MPH pace. I go to the gym on the weekends to do some weight training and additional cardio, but I don't force myself to the gym during the week because my schedule simply does not accommodate it and I know that I'd be miserable if I forced myself to do it.
All that being said, once I took the focus off of weight loss and put it on creating healthier lifestyle habits and routines, I've been happier and I'm a lot more confident that I will be able to maintain successfully in the future. It was also significantly easier to do it this way instead of going all out in the beginning and fizzling out after a few weeks or a month.0
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