So you just woke up one day and...

It doesn't just magically happen. You build momentum each day.

I have been "on and off" this wagon hundreds of time. Sometimes I'm only "on" for a day. Sometimes a week. But what I have learned so far is that I was always jumping in too deep too quick. Basically I can't go from binge eating 3000 calories a day to a 1200 calorie diet with an hour of exercise daily.

Right now I'm not even logging. Right now, I would say I have mastered my work hours. I eat a meal at lunch that would be considered healthy and light by most people's definition. My struggles are weekends and evenings, basically I don't have much self control at home. So I've made a few basic rules for my behavior that will hopefully build some skills in resistance but not overly restrict myself. I still want to eat spaghetti. But now my rule states half my plate has to be some form of non-starch veggie. Then at least I still get what I want for dinner, but I'm restricted from a full plate of just carbohydrates. That's a small change for me, one I can manage (at least for two days I have!). I also am no longer allowed to eat after 8pm. I tried to make the rule "No more evening snacks" but in some level that just felt too unfair. Too many what ifs! But a time deadline is one I can handle, I go to bed at 9. So it just makes sense not to eat right before bed. I've also moved dinner back, so that I eat at 7 and am still satisfied at bed time but not too full.

Last months activity goal was 3 days of 30 minutes of movement, any kind! This made it more fun than saying I have to go for a walk 3x. A walk doesn't always sound fun, but my wii games usually do even on my laziest of days.


Sorry to go on so long. But this was what I needed: to realize it does NOT just "happen", it's a process that we can't rush and that is all about personal growth and getting to know yourself.

JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »

So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?

Not exactly.

I woke up one day and realized I wasn't paying any attention to what I was eating, and I was finally unhappy enough to really consider what I was doing wrong. So I started with just logging to see what was going on. From there, I took out the easy things. Then I took on the more challenging aspects. I did it bit by bit, with plenty of fits and stops. The whole of last year I probably only really logged a third of the days, and only lost maaaybe five pounds, between the first of the year and the end of the year. But I proved to myself that even when it's a rough year, I can still hold out and keep my weight down.

You just keep trying, and treat yourself kindly along the way. I found that for me, the process has to go "appreciate myself" > "feel good about myself" > "meet my calorie and exercise goals." When I start to let negative self-image and poor self-confidence sneak in (also, when my mental health goes bad), calories rarely line up.

You'll find something that works for you. Until then, you just have to sort of work through the self-doubt, and trust yourself.

Yes and No. I wanted to lose weight for months and was trying an unsustainable diet my wife was a fan of at the time and while it worked I always quit and regained everything (it had a brutal week of super low calories for a man and it was the reason I always quit after a few rounds).

However, one day I did wake up and decided that I was going to do a sustainable diet and found MFP (I used a different website years ago and for some reason forgot the science behind the weight loss), started eating to my calorie goal, and not once have I deviated from the plan in 40 weeks. However, my plan isn't set in stone. It has some flexibility and I recognize that I don't want to eat to lose weight every day of every week. I took "diet breaks" when on week long vacations or work travel. I'm now down 49.5lb and have had multiple weeks where I lost 0lb, either due to water weight fluctuation or just eating to maintenance. The most important thing is that I don't mindlessly eat. Everything I eat I weigh the cost/benefit and make a decision. Even just last night I grabbed a chicken nugget from my kids plate, almost ate it and then put it back because I decided I'd rather have a bite of birthday cake left over from his party the day before.

For me it was a gradual awakening. I became aware that I was heavier than I should be but I didn't want to deal with it. Maybe I tried but then failed. Then one day I decided I wanted to do something about it. My biggest issue has always been a failure to be consistent about logging/weighing and eating properly, so that first day I set up a very detailed spreadsheet of different goals with rewards associated. I have goals for eating at least 3 meals a day, goals for logging food every day in MFP, goals for eating less sugar, goals for regularly weighing in, goals to drink more water, goals to not eat after 9pm, etc. These are all goals that are fairly easy to accomplish. I never make goals that are incongruous with who I am. I already drink water but sometimes I don't drink enough so I just have a goal to drink more. I don't go to spin class so I would never make a goal to go to spin class because that's just not something I do even though it may be something I SHOULD do. My goals are basically making me show up and stay accountable. I get an A for effort.

It is, strangely, helpful for me to have a lot of things I'm working towards at once because it ensures it's a more complex process that I have to pay attention to throughout the day. If I just relied on MFP then I'll forget to log. If I'm using my spreadsheet to track various (small and simple) goals throughout the day then it'll be on my mind regularly. This is what works for me but everyone needs to find their own means of motivation.

As for your loss - 5 lbs is great but I understand the frustration of working hard towards a goal and wishing all of that effort paid off more quickly. I've never been a "slow and steady wins the race" type of person. I want to see results immediately. Unfortunately that doesn't work when it comes to weight loss, so I settle for tracking everything else to distract myself and celebrating any victories that come more quickly.

iecreamheadaches wrote: »

Dedication.
Self Discipline.
Self Control
Motivation
Inspiration

Its all about your mindset.

^This.

I don't think what iecreamheadaches posted is mean. It's what works. It really is all in the mindset. If you're determined to get from point A to point B, then you will make it happen. You have to really want it, because it's hard. None of us just woke up and were thin. We've put dedication into every day; we've turned down things we wanted. I know that sometimes you just need to vent. I get that. But it's all up to you. I think the people who are successful really made the choice, to stop giving up, and to just keep going. Slow progress is still progress. You lost 5 lbs in a month, and thought it wasn't good. Why? It was 5 lbs!!

It's all a learning process, and a growing process. You CAN do it. You CAN stick to it. You just have to want it bad enough.

JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »

So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?

I think first off, a re-examination of expectations is in order. Losing 5 Lbs in a month is solid weight loss...unfortunately, it doesn't happen like it does on "reality" t.v. When you extrapolate that out, you're looking at being 60 Lbs down in a years time...that may or may not actually happen, but suffice it to say, that staying consistent is ultimately going to result in you shrinking...the time is going to pass either way. Losing weight is a very slow process and you need to wrap your head around that and get on board with that reality.

Secondly, no...I didn't just wake up one day and do a 180* on my way to being healthy and fit. I spent a good couple of years seeing pictures of myself and thinking, "I really should do something about my weight." I spent a good couple of years loathing how I felt physically because I was so out of shape and things I used to enjoy doing like hiking or simply walking the dog were a chore...and I would try little things here and there but I wasn't consistent with anything and figured it was all just too hard and not in my destiny.

I didn't get serious about anything until I was 38 and went in for my annual examination and blood work...it basically put the fear in me as my blood work indicated that I was very much on the same path as my dad went down...the path towards type II diabetes, heart disease, kidney failure, and metabolic syndrome. My dad passed away at the ripe old age of 62...at 38 years old I had a then 1 year old and a 3 y.o....heading down the path I was heading was bleak at best and wasn't really going to allow me to watch my boys become men...or to retire and spend time with my wife traveling and enjoying a later years. The path I was heading down would have had me very sick at best in my early 60s, if not dead...and that simply was not an acceptable outcome in my book.

I didn't really start off with losing weight being my primary objective...I was right on the borderline of overweight to obese but I really didn't have a lot of focus on that...I was primarily concerned with reversing my bad blood work...and if you think losing weight is slow, reversing *kitten* blood work is incredibly so. I started out primarily researching nutrition and how to basically eat to live...and I took baby steps...my diet didn't change overnight...I made mini goals for myself like today I'm going to eat at least 4 servings of vegetables and 2 servings of fruit...and today I'm not going to drink a soda...but I'll allow myself one on Wednesday (just as examples). As far as exercise, I started out just walking a lot...it was a chore because I was very out of shape and I was also a 2 PAD smoker (or more...which I also quit at this same time). Not only was this difficult, but it was also a little depressing because once upon a time I was a pretty damned good athlete and struggling to walk my dog around the block was just a constant reminder as to how far I'd let myself tumble. But I walked, and I walked, and I walked until I was walking at least an hour most days.

Eventually this became easier and I started thinking about upping the ante and signed myself up for a 5K and started a program designed to train me for that. I did the run and I sucked...I was slow as *kitten*...but I ran the whole thing and slowly but surely I started to feel a bit of my old self coming back into being. I continued to run and ultimately joined a gym to get back into the weight room (mind you, I'm a good 4-5 months into things by now). For the first time ever I followed an established program in the weight room and I kind of fell in love with it.

Over the ensuing weeks and months, my fitness continued to improve...my diet continued to improve...I lost some weight, and more importantly, I started to see substantial changes in my overall blood work. I can still remember leaving my doctors office after my 2nd of 12 week mandated visits for blood work weeping with joy because my blood work now was just bad (but dramatically improved) and not a total *kitten* show...I was weeping because I knew I was getting my life back...I was weeping because I knew I was doing the things I needed to do to be a good father and husband and they were paying dividends.

This was all going on about 3.5 years ago and I've come quite far in my little life safari. Just a few short years ago I struggled to walk my dog around the block...now I cycle a good 80 - 100 miles per week. My nutritional profile is like night and day from where I was. My blood work is now optimal on all measures vs. "you're gonna die" just a few short years ago. And in the process I happened to lose a good chunk of weight and now sit at around 12% BF which relative to the population of other 41 year olds I know and see around town...well, I'm doing pretty good.

But no...none of that happened overnight. There was no magical switch to flip. Ultimately it came down to me deciding what I wanted to do with myself and then dedicating myself to that desire and following through with discipline and consistency. The interesting thing about it all is that it does eventually become second nature...you develop these habits and eventually you don't really think about it much anymore...but again, that doesn't happen overnight...it takes work...it takes discipline...it takes consistency.

How I do it:
1. Make the smallest changes that will get me to my goals. I don't do restrictive diets, my exercise is around the hours per week, and I made a system so it's easy to do the right thing.
2. Habits. My best habit is planning my meals for the next day in advance and logging them. Makes it easy to stay on track.
3. Don't focus too much on it. Planning meals is like brushing my teeth - something I do, but not something I dwell upon. The more you can get your diet to run on autopilot the better.

Jenn, I truly understand and can empithize with you. I have well over 100 lbs to lose...wellll.. now its 62 lbs. since the day after Xmas i have lost a total of 38 lbs... yes i did wake up and say enough is enough... actually it was a photo on my great nephew sitting on my lap Xmas eve.. i did not recognize the fat guy sitting in that picture. the very next day i took charge of my life. signed up here ,got myself a fitbit and started. Its not easy, in fact next to quitting smoking (16yrs) this is one of the most difficult things i have taken on. But i'm doing it, one day at a time. .. we didn't put the weight on in one day and it will not come off in one day or one month .. it is a process a journey... you have to want it.. you have to work at it.. we are going to have bad days or even bad weeks.. but we must get back up and try again.... I'm 55 and if i can do it so can you. you really can. trust me.this works... this place is full of really great people more than willing to help... but we have to meet them half way.

YOU REALLY CAN DO THIS JENN!!!! start today... log your food... every single bite... eat at a deficit ... and move.. doesn't matter what you do just move...every day... and every day push yourself a little more... me, i walk... could barley do the 10 k steps recommend on fitbit.. now i'm doing over 15 k per day... some days really suck.. but i get up and push. no one else can do it for me...or you... take control ,take charge and try

I always tell people this is 99.9% mental. You have to mentally commit to doing what needs to be done to lose weight. It's not easy. There are rough patches, but you can do it. You just have to mentally tell yourself you will not fail.

If it was easy to just wake up one day and start being fit, no one would be obese. Eating too much and being sedentary is easy, eating within a defined limit and exercising consistently over a long duration is difficult.

Establish your wellness like any other "must do" task in your life, like brushing your teeth, showering, shaving, etc. These are built into your life and therefore are not discretionary (for most people); treat your nutrition and exercise regime accordingly, it is not something you can blow off, ignore, or delay.

I think everyone falls off the wagon. I started almost a year ago to the date. In that year I probably had six months of solid dieting and six months of getting on and off the band wagon. One thing you have to do is keep trying. If I hadn't restarted so many times I wouldn't have been able to maintain my 54lb loss. Do I wish I would have kept moving forward and lost the last 14 freaking pounds of course! At least I'm not where I started and as long as I remember each day is a new day I never will be again.

I do empathize with you, because I've been where you've been. But I'd have more sympathy for you if, after someone tried to give you advice, you didn't thank them by saying, "None of this is new information for me". Sorry; I didn't realize that we were supposed to know what you know and dig up something brand new that would help you.

I'm sure you've heard this before too, but I'm going to say it anyway: You know what you have to do. Just commit to it.

And this is where my empathy kicks in, where I'm putting myself in your place: That's what someone told me when I was being a whiny little woe-is-me baby. And they were right.

Good luck.

My personal motto is "Fall down seven times, get up eight." I didn't just "wake up one morning" and lose weight. I'm 10 pounds down (in 5 months) with 46 more to go, and I've been trying to get down to my goal weight since....ohhhhh.....2007. But every workout, every nutritious meal was not wasted. Every time I have to "reboot" I look at what went right, what went wrong.

If losing weight and getting fit was EASY - every one of us would look like a Supermodel.

You know what's helping me a lot this go round? Pinterest. When I feel down, I look at fitness inspiration quotes. Also, I test my fasting glucose once a week. I am not diabetic, but I don't want to be - and it's amazing how cookies at work look less tempting when I'm worried about "flunking" my blood test on Sunday.