So you just woke up one day and...
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This is my first time losing weight I haven't been looking for the fast train... it is also the longest time frame I have been consistently losing weight. I am learning as I go, making a new lifestyle and better choices. It hasn't been linear, I have had some ups and downs, but the overall trend is down and will continue that way because I am different now.
The one thing that really stands out is the self loathing I detect in the OP. I understand that because I recognize it in myself. The good thing is I recognize it less and less. One of the best parts of this slow weight loss is that I am learning to like myself. I am becoming the me I always wanted to be. (I know someone else said something similar and it rings true) I have read a lot of other people talk about the fact that losing the weight didn't actually make them happier and I am really sensing this to be true. Just focusing on the weight loss and expecting it to solve the issues isn't realistic. Enjoy the journey, take the credit for accomplishment, don't wait to live life.
I still have to lose over half my body weight even after losing 50 pounds so I know about wanting to lose faster, but the fact of the matter is that I am losing, I am feeling better physically and mentally and I am learning the lifestyle I will get to have when I reach my goal weight. It took me a long time to get this overweight and there are plenty of issues in my head I still need to work on, but I am going to enjoy ride for what it is.
For me there wasn't one morning I woke up and was just ready to do this. Where I am now is a culmination of previous successes and setbacks and what I learned from them. Not everyone had one moment where it was all sunshine from then on. Just keep going on.0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?
basically, yes.
i was tired of being fat.
when it truly became important to me to lose weight, I did what needed (still needs) to be done.
that doesn't mean you dont have bad days, but those days dont stop you and the good far out number the bad.0 -
Pretty much. I've been "on a diet" or "breaking a diet" for 19 years. That's a REALLY long time to be in a cycle of mental flagellation, be it to stick with it, or punishing myself for 'breaking' it.
What changed this time? This time it's just life. It sounds trite to say "it's a lifestyle change" but it is. Fact is, I always approached dieting as something I would do to lose weight, and then I could get back to normal, yay! But guess what? "Normal" got me morbidly obese. "Normal" can never be normal again. So I set myself a realistic goal (it wasn't a weight, it was just to be able to buy regular sized clothes, and not have to shop in plus sizes) and set off. The biggest change from previous was that there was no "on a diet", "off my diet", i\tr was just good decision vs bad decision, and as long as good outweighed/outnumbered bad, I saw the scale go down.
I've lost, I've gained, I've stayed the same for weeks, even months on end. Now I don't see that as failure, I see it as successfully practising for maintenance.
I'm now well past that initial goal. I'm working towards my "healthy" weight range and a bunch of fitness goals. Making good eating decisions is now "normal" and the bad ones are the aberrations. It took time and perseverance but most of all it took the realisation that this is life. It's my life, my self respect, my future, my happiness... and realising that I'm not going to blow all those things for days and weeks on end of food that's just going to give me heartburn anyway.0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »None of that is new information for me... Honestly I don't think there is any "new" information. 5lbs a month isn't enough for someone at my size.
I obviously just don't care enough about myself to do better.
That isn't necessarily true. If you are tracking everything, and you KNOW you are at a calorie deficit, and the weight doesn't seem to be coming off as much as it should, then get your levels checked. Your thyroid meds might need to be adjusted, because if it is still underactive, then your body is fighting against you.You should also get checked for insulin resistance. I only lost 5#s all last year, doing everything right & tracking 100%. Turns out I have insulin resistance and my body was literally fighting me every step of the way. Since I've been on that medication, I've had nothing but losses (7 weeks & counting) without changing my diet or exercise, because those were both already where they needed to be (per my doc and my dietitian).
Again, make sure the weight-loss numbers aren't in line with what you are actually eating & your activity level. Weigh & measure EVERYTHING. I even track my Altoids. I was able to go into my initial appts with 100% tracking data for several months to show them that I wasn't overdoing it.0 -
[Edit due to being shamed by strong_curves' post above - you are so right. We are often fatigued by these 'I just can't do it' posts. We have all been there!]
Jennifer, hello. Nice to meet you. I'm sorry people are being rough on you. Losing weight is difficult. If it was easy to look like Gigi Hadid or Rhonda Rousey, everyone would. Well, that's not true. Some people are 100% happy in a bigger shell, no judgement. However, you obviously want to lose weight and you are here for support, advice and help. The 'tough love' comments are coming from places of support, however skewed. It's true, you have to make some tough choices, and you have to be ready to do this. A lot of people attempt a lifestyle change, a permanent change to diet and exercise habits, multiple times before they succeed. A switch goes off, or their routine sticks, or something happens that's a huge wake up call. You might need to take a step back, make a plan, and talk to a counsellor to help you realise that this journey is FOR YOU, not against you. You will be doing this for yourself, and your reward will be a healthier life and a rockin' bod!
However, it ain't easy. Getting fit and losing weight is a grind, PERMANENTLY. It's prepping and weighing food, resisting temptation all day, logging everything (even the ugly stuff), reminding yourself of your goals constantly, forcing yourself to move your body, to just do something each day. And you know what? It SUCKS. It is really very difficult, AT FIRST. You'll be so hungry the first three days, you'll feel tortured even though your body is getting the fuel it needs. You'll feel punished when you can't eat this or that, or go out with your friends the way you used to. You'll HATE exercise, and constantly hear this voice in your head: 'Why me?!' You will plateau at some point and it will be incredibly de-motivating. Lots of things will try to derail your plans. Do not let them!
You must remember though, you did this to yourself. Apart from your medical condition, which REALLY is not your fault, but you ate the food, you sat on the couch, or whatever you did to get to this point. And now you are TRYING. That's amazing. After all this, you want to do it! You want to start, and you want to succeed!
I've read countless posts on MFP from people who have lost hundreds of pounds. One guy was 500lbs and optimistic at 300! THREE HUNDRED POUNDS. That's the weight of two other people. I am constantly amazed by the positivity and support on MFP, and the crazy things people have achieved. You will see posts by people who are already slim and hot and want to lose 15lbs (of what, who knows) which will infuriate you. But ignore those. Look to the heroes. Look to the ones like you, like me, who grind day in and day out, and will forever. Take it day by day. Get over that first week and set mini goals, reward yourself with non-food rewards each time you hit one. YOU CAN DO THIS AND YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!
Threads to help you
[*] Insanely positive, motivating and simple inspirational thread about non-scale-victories (NSVs)
[*] Most helpful posts to get you started
TL/DR: Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Believe in yourself. Be willing to lose slowly. Put it into your routine, do it every day. Don't think too much about it. Indulge, but not as a rule and in moderation. You did not gain all this in a short period of time, you will not lose it overnight. Good luck!
Feel free to add me as a friend for some positive encouragement.0 -
5 lbs in metric is 2.2kgs (I'm Aussie) which is awesome! Most good PTs and doctors will tell you that you should not lose more than half a kilo to a kilo a week (1-2lbs). You are doing so well
Being a hypo, it will be a struggle, but stick with it. I'm hypo too, and I figured that rather than concentrating on weight loss, I would just become fit and healthy, and hopefully the weight will drop off at its own pace. 0 -
You just do.
The truth is. That is what it is. You just suck it up and do it. I know it sounds hard and right now you are resistant to the whole idea. I was too. People are not trying to sound mean or unsympathetic. But we all know that being babied and sympathised with wasn't what helped us over the hump. More than likely most or all of us can say that at some point someone who we loved and trusted and respected told us a truth we didn't really want to hear but we listened. And then just stopped resisting. That is how it was for me.
One day I was actually ready to listen and accept what was true.
And I just did it.0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »So all you successful people just woke up one day, started eating less and working out, and never stopped? I go on again and off again, never manage to lose any weight, and it's extremely discouraging. I've always been big, but then one day my thyroid was like "bye Felicia" and it was like I woke up HUGE. I managed to log every day for over a month. Lost barely 5 lbs... And then, just like all the other times I've tried in my life, I stopped. How do you just wake up one day and change everything forever?
Listen. You are never gonna lose the weight if you are not prepared to be patient. After 15 years of being over weight and yo-yoing between dieting and eating rubbish i have finally realised that. That's what happened to me. One day, i found this app and I thought "lets commit to this idea of calorie counting and see where it gets me" and i have so far lost 11 pounds in 3 weeks, and that includes days i have eaten two cheese burger in buns for dinner, an indian take away, macdonalds for lunch, afternoon tea at a country manor (england) which is nothing but cakes and sandwiches.
Work out how much energy your body needs on an easy website - just google TDEE calculator and take 500 calories off that number for one pound weight loss a week. F you can survive on 1000 calories a day like me then better, but my job requires i walk 5/6 miles a day so i have that advantage of being able to eat 500 calorie meals 3 times a day. Exercise whenever you can - even if its walking for half an hour a day as this will allow you to eat an extra 2-300 calories and still lose weight. You have to give it time, like 6 months. Find a healthy breakfast (oats and natural yoghurt with berries) and have it every day if you have to. It will be worth it. Be prepared each week to have only lost one pound and any extra is a bonus. Thats how you do it.
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I don't know that mine was quite as fast as waking up one day, but one weekend I went back to my college to visit friends and watch a football game and I came home with the motivation to lose weight with MFP since it was working so well for one of my best friends. That doesn't mean there aren't ups and downs along the way.
It took me 16.5 months to lose 38 lbs, which works out to about 0.5lbs per week. I've kept that weight off for 13 months so far.0 -
cushman5279 wrote: »I didn't wake up one morning and decide to do this. It was at about 12:30 PM in the afternoon at work. Eating a giant lunch, working, mindlessly shoving food into my face, multi-tasking. Somewhere in the back of my mind I assumed that my lunch choice for that day was healthy. A co-worker walked by with the same kind of lunch and said "Oh yeah, I love this kind of food too, but to bad it's so fattening and unhealthy". I stopped what I was doing and I Googled the type of food I was eating. When I actually started reading nutritional values for the first time I realized how wrong I was about my food choice, and how ignorant I was about the information. I began to think about all of my other choices and that was it. I threw my lunch away and did some basic 'getting started' research for the rest of the day. The very next day I started my journey and I never looked back. To keep my motivation I continue to do research and stay up on the latest trends in healthcare and all things nutrition and exercise. I also change my routines (food and exercise) about every 30 days. I seek out and try new products. I research supplements. I enrolled in a program and just earned my nutritionist license, now working on a license for holistic nutrition consulting. It doesn't matter what you know or what you don't know. It doesn't matter how you feel or don't feel. It comes down to your level of readiness to change. If you're truly ready, you'll change. If you have doubts, nothing and no one in the world can make you ready.
This. For me, it was more of a gradually growing, but intense, self-awareness of just how bad I took care of my physical body. There were several moments over time where I would pause and seriously notice the eating habits that led to my obesity.
I was never a yo-yo dieter or anything, but ever since doctors said I was overweight when I was 12 years old, I would declare that I would lose weight, exercise for a week or so, with a month being my all time record, but nothing really ever happened. To make matters worse, I come from a family that is RIDICULOUSLY ignorant on matters of weight loss, so I never understood anything about portion control, calories, etc. So much was said that halted me from ever losing weight.
As I got older, I got smarter and used Google to my advantage. When I graduated from high school, I promised myself that I'd get in shape during college, and mentally, I didn't succeed until the end of freshmen year of college. That summer, I just *knew* I was ready. It's hard to explain, but for the first time, I could actually envision myself at my goal weight. There was no BS, and when I said I wanted to be in good health, I truly meant it. I wasn't, and I'm still not, doing this for anyone else. Health and fitness have always been an unattainable dream for me, and I seriously wanted to be a part of the healthy side of life.
Here I am, several months later, at my goals, and excited to spend the rest of my life in good health. 0 -
It was 11 months ago, almost to the day on my 39th birthday. I was out to dinner with my family. I was achy, irritable, and hurting like I was 79 not 39. I looked up in a mirror next the to the dinner table at the restaurant I was eating at and was horrified by what I saw and then I looked to the left of me and then to the right of me and saw my beautiful young daughters laughing and smiling, and thought, "This is not the Mom I want to be. This is not the woman I want to be." I left that dinner went straight to the store, bought a Fitbit. Went home and downloaded MFP to my phone. Woke up the next morning, started walking, started logging. 11 months later, I'm down 80 lbs and feel better than ever.0
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When I was finally ready to lose the weight, I did. You have to really want this or it won't work. You have to be willing to work for it. There's no easy way out, there's no quick fix. If you want this , you must work for it. Nobody can hand it to you, nobody can force you to do it . you have it want it.
When your ready, you will do it.0 -
JenniferLynWhatx wrote: »Five pounds in a month is a great loss, at a bit over a pound a week.
I told myself that it was going to take a long time. I figured eighteen months to my goal at the time. In reality, I've been at this since January 2014 and have been off track for the past 8-9 months, so I'm only now buckling down. But I've learned what works for me (moderation) and what doesn't (restriction).
Have you read this thread? https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
None of that is new information for me... Honestly I don't think there is any "new" information. 5lbs a month isn't enough for someone at my size.
I obviously just don't care enough about myself to do better.
This just isn't true.
It's true that larger people are sometimes capable of achieving unusually large caloric deficits without ill effect because they have a high BMR and enough fat reserves to handle significant deficits without losing as much lean muscle as someone starting at a smaller size. But losing a pound + a week is very good progress no matter what your size. That means you're burning 500 calories + a day more than you eat. That takes serious effort. Many people never achieve that goal even over brief periods of time. I'm happy- thrilled, in fact- when I consistently lose half a pound a week. And though it's simple, it's not easy by any means. And you were doing twice that.
It's a rate of loss that will add up faster than you think. And each step along the way, you're a little closer to your goal- during time that's going to pass the same no matter what you're doing, be it losing, maintaining, or gaining. Giving up because you feel like you "should" be losing faster makes no sense. Whether you lose fast or slow, either is getting you closer to your goal than giving up.
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No, I woke up one day and realized how big and unhealthy I was and tired of all the medications. Sure I dieted over the years and got discouraged and wanted fast results and give up and then one day my doctor said I had acid reflux here's some medication for it and here's two more for the horrible back pain. I knew there was somthing better than living like that so I took control. It took me a year to loose half my body fat. I'm still going. What keeps me going is to know what shape I was in and don't want to be that way ever again. It's not easy but it's worth it.0
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Also I'm off all the medications now and feel better than I have felt in nine years. I'm not out of breath anymore. I can now run and play with my son again. That's what drives me everyday. I want to be around for my son for as long as possible and the way I was I was literally eating myself to my grave.0
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I didn't wake up and decide.
I just woke up as normal one day in April 2015, and later chatted to a friend who'd lost 50 kg by calorie counting.
When she told me she used the MFP app to do all the maths-y stuff, I signed up immediately.
I've been logging everything every day since then, and staying under my limit, and have lost 32 kg / 70 lbs.
Every little bit counts. JFDI.
Good luck and best wishes.0 -
I'd like to add that there were a lot of days between when I started gaining weight and when I finally said "that's it, I have to do something about this" when I would fret about my weight, feel ugly, resolve to do something, and then eat ice cream. So the weight went up.. and up.. and up... for years. Truly. And I knew I was heavy. But I was never motivated enough by what I "ought" to do, nor by vanity. I'd even signed up for Myfitnesspal somewhere in there but never done anything with it.
And then one day I realized that I was on the path to being 100% dependent on others and I couldn't fight my autoimmune disease AND my weight. It was just too much. There were many tears that day. It was a definite low point. And I remembered this website.
My initial goal was very modest. Stop gaining weight. That's it. I felt like even that was insurmountable, but I had to try.
16 months later I'm 83 lbs lighter. 5 lbs / month. You know what? It's amazing! IT WORKS! I just had to be honest with myself about how much I was eating. You are already kicking my original goal in the *** . You can do it, if you want. It's an endurance race, not a sprint. Best wishes.0 -
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Then this is what you need to change first. Are you in therapy? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is especially useful for food issues. I used CBT techniques to stop abusing alcohol and they work for food as well.
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Hi,
Thanks for posting that. I think this would help me - my downfall is wine at night. Every night. I'm familiar with CBT - did that when we were having a family crisis 6 years ago. How long did it take - and what techniques helped you the most? I think this would be helpful to me. Thank you for sharing.0 -
I did kind of wake up and say enough is enough. I had lost about 25 lbs on MFP a few years ago. Then I wound up in the ER, my grandfather died, my dad died two weeks later, I had 5 day surgeries, and my uncle died - all in 6 months. I gained the weight plus more back.
About a year later I saw a picture of myself. I was shocked and did not like the way I looked. I strapped on my Fitbit, logged on to MFP and started. I am almost to my 1 year mark. There were days that were rocky. There have been extremely stressful times (working 60+ hours a week, children, working toward national certification, marriage, etc) but I kept at it.
I saw the changes in my body. It was such a great feeling. Then people started noticing and it encouraged me even more.
You have to want it and work for it. It will take time, but the change is worth it. No matter how slow your progress is, it is sill progress!0 -
KyriaCathy wrote: »Keep trying! If you mess up, stop! Start again! Try, try, try! Those who "just woke up one day and did it" are lucky. You are going to have work a bit harder than they had too! Sorry, but that's the truth. I've been there where you're at. Sometimes I felt defeated, sometimes I felt empowered. Each time I started over I had a little more knowledge and experience from the previous attempt. I lost and regained over 100 pounds three times!!! This time I'm actually keeping it off!! I feel it, I know it, it's totally different (but I have to say, it's still a struggle.) Don't give up on yourself, you can do this! My hope for you is that journey to a healthier you is easier than mine was but please know you're not alone, it's not easy but you will do it!!!!
No, we are not just lucky. We work just as hard as everyone else, and we have our temptations, and there are days we struggle. It's not easy, for anyone.
I am one of those people who woke up one day and decided to do this. I had just had my first child, and I was morbidly obese. Got down from morbidly obese to just regularly obese when I got pregnant with my second child. Pregnancy brought me back to within 10 lbs of where I started.... But I was delighted I only gained 45 lbs with that pregnancy, not 80.
Over the next four years, I lost 100 lbs by tracking what I eat and making better decisions. It was not easy. Luck had nothing to do with it.
Oh, and I don't exercise.0
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