Why losing weight feels so effortless for me this time around.
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Glad some of you found this helpful! It's made all the difference in my approach this time.Strawblackcat wrote: »Great post! I dunno about the whole self-love-is-necessary-for-weight-loss,though. I lost weight because I was disgusted about myself and hated how I looked. Also, I couldn't find pretty clothes that fit and looked good on me. I used that as motivation instead of self-love. I was still successful. I still lost the weight. Plus, I love how I look now. Not saying that your view is incorrect, just that self-love isn't totally VITAL to weight loss.
Loving oneself unconditionally isn't vital for weight loss, you are correct. It is vital for living a fulfilling life. It is vital for being content. It is vital for MENTAL WELLNESS and wellbeing, which I believe is infinitely important (I'd argue, even more important than how thin you are.) Furthermore, people with heavier gravitational pulls and excess fat deserve to love themselves and enjoy life just as much as anyone else. You CAN buy fabulous clothes at a size 26, so let's dispel that myth once and for all. You CAN live life to its fullest. You CAN be wanted by members of the opposite sex, and HAVE fabulous sex. And if you're happy in your skin and with who you are, you are going to be more likely to want to care for yourself and make positive choices. Intention is important.
And I'm going to give you some words of love and wisdom that I WISH someone told me earlier:
Disgust and self-hate begets disgust and self-hate, which will follow you around like a heavy shadow whether you are a size 2 or a size 22. If you don't deal with your self-hate while in a larger body, one day, after you've reached your "goal weight" it'll sweep in and eclipse you, and in my case, perpetuated the binge/diet cycle.
Self-hatred doesn't cease to exist the moment you lose weight. Best of luck to you friend!
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Thank you for posting this! I agree with you 100% and have been following a similar mindset this time around. It's amazing what a difference it makes to love your body through the process and to fully enjoy food and movement.1
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I greatly enjoyed reading your post. Full of good advice.0
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What a great bump. Glad I got to see it. #2 is sorta kinda how I got started. Not necessarily just exercise, but I added in healthy habits and foods months before making the decision to count calories and take off weight. I knew I could at least do something to help take care of my body even if dealing with my weight yet again seemed impossible.1
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Thanks you guys! So many folks have been adding me because of this post and it is nice to be making so many positive friends on MyFitnessPal. Just an update: Have lost 32 pounds slowly since April. Still lifting weights, feeding myself nourishing (and sometimes not nourishing) foods, but most importantly, not obsessing about food (or calories) really, and losing steadily through small changes, caring for myself, and finding passion in physical movement.
Loving yourself unconditionally is indeed the first step. If you can't get on board with who who are NOW, then be prepared for a life of yo-yo dieting and heartache because you won't be any happier when you reach that "goal weight."0 -
Awesome -- congratulations, and many thanks for articulating it so well for all of us!!0
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Great post, and I'm glad you are still around, OP. I missed this the first time.afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »What a great bump. Glad I got to see it. #2 is sorta kinda how I got started. Not necessarily just exercise, but I added in healthy habits and foods months before making the decision to count calories and take off weight. I knew I could at least do something to help take care of my body even if dealing with my weight yet again seemed impossible.
This is similar to what I did. I couldn't believe that I could actually control my weight, since it felt out of control and I'd never tried to lose before, but I knew I could control whether or not I ate really well and exercised, so I just told myself I would be as healthy as I could be. The weight loss of course came with it, but it was helpful to have that to hold onto before I believed it would, and also gave me things to focus on besides the scale.0 -
Glad I got to see this post! Bumping it so even more people can enjoy it!0
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Ok, I don't want this offend any one or cause any argument. Please someone explain to me if you love yourself why you'd want to change yourself?0
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bethclabburn wrote: »Ok, I don't want this offend any one or cause any argument. Please someone explain to me if you love yourself why you'd want to change yourself?
I think you misunderstood what the OP meant. She's referring to be able to be at peace with who you are at any size, and not expect weight loss to be the solution to problems with self-esteem or self-worth. Some people have an expectation that everything in their lives is going to be better once they lose the weight, and often find that things are pretty much the same with a smaller number on the clothing tag. If you wait to love yourself until everything is "perfect," you're probably going to spend a lot of time being miserable.0 -
Ok but what if the problems actually are all because of weight/image?0
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Good post although I could never say my weight loss journey was effortless!
It takes planning ahead with meals ...it takes getting up early every morning to work out..and being consistent. ... BUT SO TOTALLY WORTH IT
(maintaining goal weight for 2+yrs here 
) 1 -
bethclabburn wrote: »Ok but what if the problems actually are all because of weight/image?
Could you elaborate with some examples?0 -
Bit personal but ok...
Like how I don't feel like I look nice in tight clothes and I know that a flat stomach will change that.
Or how when I wear shorts to the gym I chafe and I know that smaller legs will change that.
Or how when my bra cuts into my back I get what I call 'back boobs' and I know that less body fat will change that.
In my opinion when all those change I will be much happier and comfortable, therefore changing my attitude/making me more confident. Then I will love myself.1 -
bethclabburn wrote: »Bit personal but ok...
Like how I don't feel like I look nice in tight clothes and I know that a flat stomach will change that.
Or how when I wear shorts to the gym I chafe and I know that smaller legs will change that.
Or how when my bra cuts into my back I get what I call 'back boobs' and I know that less body fat will change that.
In my opinion when all those change I will be much happier and comfortable, therefore changing my attitude/making me more confident. Then I will love myself.
The OP is saying you need to love yourself for who you are inside. If you don't, you won't give a damn what you look like on the outside. You won't think you're worth putting effort into.
When I started with MFP, I was saying I think I'm pretty awesome, and I deserve the best for myself.
If you don't think you deserve the things you want, you'll never have a chance of getting what you want.1 -
bethclabburn wrote: »Bit personal but ok...
Like how I don't feel like I look nice in tight clothes and I know that a flat stomach will change that.
Or how when I wear shorts to the gym I chafe and I know that smaller legs will change that.
Or how when my bra cuts into my back I get what I call 'back boobs' and I know that less body fat will change that.
In my opinion when all those change I will be much happier and comfortable, therefore changing my attitude/making me more confident. Then I will love myself.
The OP is saying you need to love yourself for who you are inside. If you don't, you won't give a damn what you look like on the outside. You won't think you're worth putting effort into.
When I started with MFP, I was saying I think I'm pretty awesome, and I deserve the best for myself.
If you don't think you deserve the things you want, you'll never have a chance of getting what you want.
Exactly this.0 -
bethclabburn wrote: »Bit personal but ok...
Like how I don't feel like I look nice in tight clothes and I know that a flat stomach will change that.
Or how when I wear shorts to the gym I chafe and I know that smaller legs will change that.
Or how when my bra cuts into my back I get what I call 'back boobs' and I know that less body fat will change that.
In my opinion when all those change I will be much happier and comfortable, therefore changing my attitude/making me more confident. Then I will love myself.
Alas, if one is prone to negative self talk, losing weight won't change that. You Can Heal Your Life is a good video about negative self talk. It was available in my library system, so maybe yours too.1 -
Some people have an issue with #2 and I guess I can see why. Because calories are really what matters. But I will say...
I am far more motivated to keep going on my calorie counting when I'm physically active. It's a huge mood booster and it makes me feel like I'm actively working on losing weight instead of just counting cals and hoping it works. I come home after a long walk and feel accomplished like "ahhhh yeah. That should make a nice little dent in my calorie deficit. I did good work today!"2 -
Awesome post! 0
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THANK YOU SO MUCH !! I needed that so much.0
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This is one amazing post. I agree with everything you said. And I LOVE #2. That's how I started my weight loss journey and it was the only way I could be successful. Not everyone starts this way but for me it felt so good to be moving, to feel strong, to feel like food was being used as FUEL for the activity that I LOVE (Jazzercise ). Thanks so much for this. 2
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bethclabburn wrote: »Bit personal but ok...
Like how I don't feel like I look nice in tight clothes and I know that a flat stomach will change that.
Or how when I wear shorts to the gym I chafe and I know that smaller legs will change that.
Or how when my bra cuts into my back I get what I call 'back boobs' and I know that less body fat will change that.
In my opinion when all those change I will be much happier and comfortable, therefore changing my attitude/making me more confident. Then I will love myself.
The OP is saying you need to love yourself for who you are inside. If you don't, you won't give a damn what you look like on the outside. You won't think you're worth putting effort into.
When I started with MFP, I was saying I think I'm pretty awesome, and I deserve the best for myself.
If you don't think you deserve the things you want, you'll never have a chance of getting what you want.
To add to this awesome post, even if you think that losing weight will make you love yourself, there's a chance that once at a smaller size, you'll just find something else to be dissatisfied with yourself about.
It really is important to accept yourself at any and every stage of everything.0 -
Checking in with you all here now in 2016:
I loved myself at 241 pounds last April, and I still love myself now at 207. My self worth isn't defined by my gravitational pull, physical shell, nor food choices.
Non weight victories:
And as of this month I have been diet free for 3 years! When I track, I'm not fundamentalist about it, but rather I see it simply as a tool. However, I am finding that my body is smarter than an app in gauging how much fuel I need and all I need to do is listen and respect it. I move more, listen to my body more, and feel great mentally and physically. I am stronger, faster, and get sick less since developing a workout habit. I pay attention to how foods make me feel and make choices to feel well as often as possible, because I am worth it. I've inspired my family to ditch dieting and move more.
And to recap: I used to be a yo-yo dieter, obsessive compulsive calorie counter, binge eater, "sugar addict," with a horrible body image and sense of worth. Working from the inside out has done wonders for me, so if you are stuck in the diet cycle, consider ditching the calorie counting and obsessiveness in exchange for some soul searching first.
Happy New Year!0 -
Fantastic post.
I've been on and off dieting for years and always starting to use mfp and falling off the wagon.
So many years I wasted not realising I control my weight not the other way round ( even when I was a lot lighter)
So #1 love yourself enough to change for life , not some quick fix diet.
If you love your body your body will love you.
And I agree with # 2 moving more. I don't go to the gym, I have no time ( 2 young kids and a husband that often works late) to do classes like I used to. But I have my Fitbit zip, I can see the progress it has gives me in steps and a calorie deficit so I can fit more in my daily goal.
The more active i have been up lifts me and also Spurs me on. If I have a higher cal day , it's not the end of the world and I don't need to give up.
It too has taken me years to get to this place.
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This thread continues to deliver.0
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Bump! More people need to read this.0
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I needed to read your post today. Thank you.0
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Great post0
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Brill post I have three rules get mindset right. Don't think about food at all . Make it a way of life. Remember Mary popping for every job that must be done there's an element of fun find the fun the jobs a game apply it to dieting and above all have a god day out there ☺0
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