What to do when someone calls you fat?

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Thatonechickoverthere
Thatonechickoverthere Posts: 100 Member
in Motivation and Support
I like to have political arguments on Facebook, but some people are really childish about it. So this one woman I was talking to, just randomly started talking about how fat I looked in my pictures, and how I should be eating instead of talking to her. I know that's not supposed to bother me but it does. I guess some people think it's easier to insult someone then to state their ideas like an adult. So my response was I can change my body but it doesn't seem like you can change your hateful personality. And I mentioned that I had already lost a lot of weight. (50lbs) Her response was, you still have a long way to go.

How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
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Replies

  • Justn7883
    Justn7883 Posts: 4,764 Member
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    Give them a high five to the face!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Ignore them... like you say, she can't voice her opinion like a grown up, she isn't worth your upset.
  • sanfromny
    sanfromny Posts: 770 Member
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    You should have told her that it sounds like she needs a Snickers! :star:
  • Thatonechickoverthere
    Thatonechickoverthere Posts: 100 Member
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    Haha
  • cathed42
    cathed42 Posts: 88 Member
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    This is why I don't do social media
  • ObsessiveRunner24
    ObsessiveRunner24 Posts: 61 Member
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    Reply him or her with "thanks"
  • healthyhabits98
    healthyhabits98 Posts: 7 Member
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    Just ignore it! Its easy to tell they've notice you've lost weight and they're just jealous (ik, you probably hear it all the time, but its true). Sounds like she has more weight in her mind then you do on your body, so just remember that you have the capability to be a happy positive person and she doesn't :smile:
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,104 Member
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    If they degenerate into ad hominem attacks, which this is, the discussion is over. My reply would be, "Obviously you cannot support your position so you have to resort to personal attack, so I will consider myself the winner in this debate." Then I would not respond again until they replied with something of substance. Frankly, once a person switches to personal attack it is because they have no other response.

    In terms of someone calling me fat, well, at the moment I am, what does that have to do with any discussion we may be having. It doesn't bother me because I am doing something about it.
  • ClubSilencio
    ClubSilencio Posts: 2,983 Member
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    I recommend limiting your Facebook time to only things that are productive. It's never a good idea to debate someone on Facebook, especially about U.S. politics (dear heavens). Consider logging off the site completely and instead read books, meditate, listen to music... things that are enriching and will make you more enlightened than the plebs who call people fat on FB.

  • miko482
    miko482 Posts: 21 Member
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    tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »
    I know that's not supposed to bother me but it does.
    tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »
    How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.

    These statements really stood out to me. While I might not have a helpful comeback, I just wanted to say that it's okay to be upset, it's okay to be hurt. As much as I logically know this and you probably do too, sometimes it's good to hear someone else say that it's okay to be bothered by this. Please don't give someone like that more power by silencing yourself or admonishing yourself for feeling the way you do.

    No matter how much I have tried to understand the reasons why people can act so horribly, it doesn't completely change the emotional, mental, and even physical reaction to such personal attacks. So what if it comes from their lack remaining solid argument or their own insecurities? Can't blame yourself for feeling the way you do after dealing with that.

    The only thing I can say is take a step back, talk to a good friend, or go do something else that you enjoy. Take care of yourself, and don't beat yourself up. =)
  • DearestWinter
    DearestWinter Posts: 595 Member
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    shell1005 wrote: »
    People who are basically perfect strangers, I can't be bothered to care what they think. If I am fat, I know it. If someone on FB decided to fat shame me then I wouldn't lower myself to be hurt by their insecurities.

    I had someone try to bash me with insults that I needed a boyfriend, but was clearly too ugly to get one. While that wasn't nice, I knew that person was more responding to something in them and not in me. The person was basically a stranger, so I reported it and moved on. If I gave that stranger the power to hurt or demean me...then I let them win.

    I saw that thread and flagged him. What an utterly ridiculous insult too.

    OP, I like the suggestion someone made to say that since they can't come up with a response to the argument then you win. Then ignore them. Ice them out of your feed and so forth. This person was insulting you to be mean and get a reaction. Your best response is to not react. Or to react in a way they don't expect.
  • mdrichardsons
    mdrichardsons Posts: 83 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Wow who says that?
    How do you not let it get to you... Realize you can't get your worth from people. You have great value in the world it has nothing to do with any human being. They are just human and broken. Also who really wants a political opinion about how the world should be run from someone who speaks to another human being like that??!! Really?!
  • Ralphone
    Ralphone Posts: 1,836 Member
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    ok i have to give you a childish answer. tell her :):) i might be fat,but i can always lose wight, your ugly inside and out so what can u due about that lol!! Don t take it to heart . i hope u get a laugh out of my answer and good luck in your weight loss Journey.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Ignore it, take the high road, or hit back hard with a brutal comment about her physical appearance, preferably an honest one. It is shocking when people say such inappropriate personal things, and honestly, when they do they deserve to be treated in kind. If you go for the cruel-to-be-kind response, be ruthless.
  • Obnoxa
    Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
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    It hurts, its going to hurt and outside of avoiding debates there's not a lot you can do to change it.
    Saucy comebacks are my go to, never let them see you sweat, right? Following that reasoning, never and I mean EVER respond with you have lost weight; shows you care.
    Let's see... Hmmm. Next time, if there is a next time someone pulls the "well you're fat" card try 'Yeah, its where I store all my knowledge. Which is why I won and you can't even put a good insult together, loser.' That's probably what I'd say :smiley:
  • heybales
    heybales Posts: 18,842 Member
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    "Sure, and I'm working to lose weight, can you even work to improve those looks?"
  • skazzmatter
    skazzmatter Posts: 20 Member
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    well first of all, fat isn't a bad word! you can be fat and fierce and flaunt the heck outta it. but you can also lose weight, whereas that creep is doomed to be eternally ignorant, rude, and spiritually *kitten*.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,360 Member
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    "I am working at losing weight when do you start work on losing that rude and ignorant attitude"
  • asifkhan70
    asifkhan70 Posts: 2 Member
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    Use it as motivation

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