What to do when someone calls you fat?
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People try to insult people to get a reaction. Why? Because it may be the only thing in their life they have control of.
Also if it hurts you, it's usually because you believe it to be true and wished you weren't in that position.
There are lots of people I deal with who think I'm a jerk, but then again I know I can be because sometimes that's the only way I can get people to hear or do what I need them to do.
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My response would have been. Oh my, I am?? I had no idea. Thank you so much for pointing it out.0
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I remember reading once, ages ago, that treating "fat" as a neutral descriptor can help. Like, I'm a brunette, I'm in my 20's, and I'm fat. These are not statements of worth, but statements of fact. It's hard to do, when the word is loaded and treated as a synonym for any number of unkind sentiments, but it ought not to be. It's a size descriptor, and even then, it's not a very good one. "Fat" is different to a wide range of people, and doesn't denote size at all.
Remove the connotation that fat = bad in yourself, and let the rest of the *kitten* work it out on their own. She's using it as an insult, yes, but *kitten* her. Fat is far from the worst thing a person can be. I'd rather be fat than unkind, thoughtless, or any number of qualities that reflect an ugly inner life.0 -
You should let it go. Really you should, because ultimately it's a waste of energy.
That said it never hurts to have a stock of insults handy for when you need one unexpectedly so...
"Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news – they found your head."
"Save your breath – you’ll need it to blow up your date."
"Hey, your village called – they want their idiot back."
"I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?"
My personal favourites would get me banned from here but you can use your imagination. Yeah, it's petty and damn it can be fun...0 -
tell them you can lose weight but unfortunately your stuck with that face.0
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »you lost me on "political arguments on Facebook..." Go outside, do great things. The trees aren't going to call you fat.
No, they just throw stuff at you:
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whenever I get someone who makes any mention of my weight I tend to go
"thanks, I never knew I was fat! you have opened my eyes!"0 -
You ARE fat, though? Right? She was stating a fact when she said you look fat.0
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"Thanks for stating the obvious."0
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As much as it does hurt, being called that by someone who doesn't know your or your life, responding to the taunt is usually just going to continue it. While they may not get their jolly by insulting people and getting a rise (some do), not rising to the bait is far better when debating. I'd go with the response of telling them you're not interested in bringing up looks when that isn't the topic at hand, then refocus onto whatever point you have.
This is also the interwebs, and there is no winning with some people, they don't want a debate they want their way. It's pathetic that they had to drop the facts of the issue and resort to childish name calling (regardless of being apt or not) and I hope that you don't let what they said affect you too much.
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tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I like to have political arguments on Facebook, but some people are really childish about it. So this one woman I was talking to, just randomly started talking about how fat I looked in my pictures, and how I should be eating instead of talking to her. I know that's not supposed to bother me but it does. I guess some people think it's easier to insult someone then to state their ideas like an adult. So my response was I can change my body but it doesn't seem like you can change your hateful personality. And I mentioned that I had already lost a lot of weight. (50lbs) Her response was, you still have a long way to go.
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
I really hate that. You should just ignore morons like that and be happy that you're not as immature and idiotic. People like that are raising children... That's the scary part!!!0 -
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I would reply with something like "It's unfortunate that you resort to personal insults when someone has outmatched you in intelligent conversation about a divisive topic."0
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tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I like to have political arguments on Facebook ...
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
So - every time you deliberately stand on a tack, it hurts - am I right?
- do you see where I'm going with this?
I didn't deliberate ask this girl to bully me. I was trying to have an adult conversation and she acted like a child. There was even a man from Spain in the conservation and she told him he'll get deported. Lol makes no sense since he isn't even American, but I guess I shouldn't expect much from a narrow minded Trump supporter.0 -
tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I like to have political arguments on Facebook ...
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
So - every time you deliberately stand on a tack, it hurts - am I right?
- do you see where I'm going with this?
I didn't deliberate ask this girl to bully me. I was trying to have an adult conversation and she acted like a child. There was even a man from Spain in the conservation and she told him he'll get deported. Lol makes no sense since he isn't even American, but I guess I shouldn't expect much from a narrow minded Trump supporter.
Uh....if the person you're having an online discussion with is a Trump supporter, I'd say you made your own bed. You really expected an intelligent conversation?0 -
Look at her and smile and say Bless your soul .... aren't you just the sweetest person to point out how fat I am ! Have a nice day.0
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One thing I've learned - it is generally impossible to have an adult conversation for very long on FB re: politics or anything controversial. I just don't get into it. I post mostly fluff on my wall, and usually on respond to other people's fluff as well. I just don't get suckered in. It never ends well.0
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"The jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"0
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screw all the people on here telling you not to express your opinions on facebook, btw. i know a lot of people who've had their political opinions changed because of civil debate online, and politics are important, regardless of how food/exercise-obsessed other people are. notice how most of them are men, too
basically it's all about boundaries. obviously you want to change your weight since you're here, but i'd encourage you to start trying to love your body NOW, not waiting to love it once you reach some certain weight or size or number. if you're not fat you're ugly, if you're not ugly you're a slut, if you're not a sl*t, you're a prude, if you're not a prude you're a b*tch. *kitten* those people. you're amazing as you are. and once you figure that out weight loss will probably end up being easier too
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ignore it and let it go.
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ClubSilencio wrote: »I recommend limiting your Facebook time to only things that are productive. It's never a good idea to debate someone on Facebook, especially about U.S. politics (dear heavens). Consider logging off the site completely and instead read books, meditate, listen to music... things that are enriching and will make you more enlightened than the plebs who call people fat on FB.
This. This is why I don't do FB anymore. I have heard and seen more horror stories from things people do or say on FB. I'm talking about lives ruined over it. But I've never heard one story about "Wow! My life is so much better from Facebook!".
There are too many keyboard warriors out there that write and post any damn fool idiot thought that passes from their brains to the internet. I'm just not interested anymore.
Sorry you had to put up with that, OP. That speaks volumes about them, not you. But it still stinks. It's hard to be the better person sometimes...0 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I like to have political arguments on Facebook ...
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
So - every time you deliberately stand on a tack, it hurts - am I right?
- do you see where I'm going with this?
I didn't deliberate ask this girl to bully me. I was trying to have an adult conversation and she acted like a child. There was even a man from Spain in the conservation and she told him he'll get deported. Lol makes no sense since he isn't even American, but I guess I shouldn't expect much from a narrow minded Trump supporter.
Uh....if the person you're having an online discussion with is a Trump supporter, I'd say you made your own bed. You really expected an intelligent conversation?
LOL!!!!!0 -
skazzmatter wrote: »screw all the people on here telling you not to express your opinions on facebook, btw. i know a lot of people who've had their political opinions changed because of civil debate online, and politics are important, regardless of how food/exercise-obsessed other people are. notice how most of them are men, too
Unless you're going to get hurt when people act like *kitten*. If you can't take the heat, don't go into the kitchen, and all that. I choose not to discuss politics or controversial subjects on FB. It's just ridiculous. On another note...the most interesting insult I've had recently came from a gay man - he called me "retarded" because I don't like Donald Trump. And that was when I ended the conversation with him - I said I was disappointed that he could not continue in a civil vein and therefore I was done. And that was when I made up my mind to quit arguing politics on FB from now on - it's just not worth the aggravation to me.
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I would tell them..."OMG, I am so glad you told me I am fat...I really had no clue. I will also share something with you because it is clear that you have no clue...You are an IDIOT!!!".
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jenovatrix wrote: »"The jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"
You get ten extra points of awesome for quoting George!
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I guess I'd tell her that she's ugly and you can diet.
I also wouldn't worry about what some person with nothing better to do than to bring others down says online. It's obviously how she gets her kicks.0 -
I'd rather be fat than stupid or cruel. So there. But I really like @rileysowner 's response.
That being said. There are subjects you don't talk about on social media. Politics, religion, race, etc.0 -
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tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I like to have political arguments on Facebook ...
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
So - every time you deliberately stand on a tack, it hurts - am I right?
- do you see where I'm going with this?
I didn't deliberate ask this girl to bully me. I was trying to have an adult conversation and she acted like a child. There was even a man from Spain in the conservation and she told him he'll get deported. Lol makes no sense since he isn't even American, but I guess I shouldn't expect much from a narrow minded Trump supporter.
So ... it's OK for you to insult people, but not OK for people to insult you. I see.
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