What to do when someone calls you fat?
Thatonechickoverthere
Posts: 100 Member
I like to have political arguments on Facebook, but some people are really childish about it. So this one woman I was talking to, just randomly started talking about how fat I looked in my pictures, and how I should be eating instead of talking to her. I know that's not supposed to bother me but it does. I guess some people think it's easier to insult someone then to state their ideas like an adult. So my response was I can change my body but it doesn't seem like you can change your hateful personality. And I mentioned that I had already lost a lot of weight. (50lbs) Her response was, you still have a long way to go.
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
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Replies
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Give them a high five to the face!0
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Ignore them... like you say, she can't voice her opinion like a grown up, she isn't worth your upset.0
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You should have told her that it sounds like she needs a Snickers!
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Haha0
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This is why I don't do social media0
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Reply him or her with "thanks"0
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Just ignore it! Its easy to tell they've notice you've lost weight and they're just jealous (ik, you probably hear it all the time, but its true). Sounds like she has more weight in her mind then you do on your body, so just remember that you have the capability to be a happy positive person and she doesn't
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If they degenerate into ad hominem attacks, which this is, the discussion is over. My reply would be, "Obviously you cannot support your position so you have to resort to personal attack, so I will consider myself the winner in this debate." Then I would not respond again until they replied with something of substance. Frankly, once a person switches to personal attack it is because they have no other response.
In terms of someone calling me fat, well, at the moment I am, what does that have to do with any discussion we may be having. It doesn't bother me because I am doing something about it.0 -
I recommend limiting your Facebook time to only things that are productive. It's never a good idea to debate someone on Facebook, especially about U.S. politics (dear heavens). Consider logging off the site completely and instead read books, meditate, listen to music... things that are enriching and will make you more enlightened than the plebs who call people fat on FB.
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tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I know that's not supposed to bother me but it does.tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
These statements really stood out to me. While I might not have a helpful comeback, I just wanted to say that it's okay to be upset, it's okay to be hurt. As much as I logically know this and you probably do too, sometimes it's good to hear someone else say that it's okay to be bothered by this. Please don't give someone like that more power by silencing yourself or admonishing yourself for feeling the way you do.
No matter how much I have tried to understand the reasons why people can act so horribly, it doesn't completely change the emotional, mental, and even physical reaction to such personal attacks. So what if it comes from their lack remaining solid argument or their own insecurities? Can't blame yourself for feeling the way you do after dealing with that.
The only thing I can say is take a step back, talk to a good friend, or go do something else that you enjoy. Take care of yourself, and don't beat yourself up.
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People who are basically perfect strangers, I can't be bothered to care what they think. If I am fat, I know it. If someone on FB decided to fat shame me then I wouldn't lower myself to be hurt by their insecurities.
I had someone try to bash me with insults that I needed a boyfriend, but was clearly too ugly to get one. While that wasn't nice, I knew that person was more responding to something in them and not in me. The person was basically a stranger, so I reported it and moved on. If I gave that stranger the power to hurt or demean me...then I let them win.
I saw that thread and flagged him. What an utterly ridiculous insult too.
OP, I like the suggestion someone made to say that since they can't come up with a response to the argument then you win. Then ignore them. Ice them out of your feed and so forth. This person was insulting you to be mean and get a reaction. Your best response is to not react. Or to react in a way they don't expect.0 -
Wow who says that?
How do you not let it get to you... Realize you can't get your worth from people. You have great value in the world it has nothing to do with any human being. They are just human and broken. Also who really wants a political opinion about how the world should be run from someone who speaks to another human being like that??!! Really?!0 -
ok i have to give you a childish answer. tell her i might be fat,but i can always lose wight, your ugly inside and out so what can u due about that lol!! Don t take it to heart . i hope u get a laugh out of my answer and good luck in your weight loss Journey.
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Ignore it, take the high road, or hit back hard with a brutal comment about her physical appearance, preferably an honest one. It is shocking when people say such inappropriate personal things, and honestly, when they do they deserve to be treated in kind. If you go for the cruel-to-be-kind response, be ruthless.0
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It hurts, its going to hurt and outside of avoiding debates there's not a lot you can do to change it.
Saucy comebacks are my go to, never let them see you sweat, right? Following that reasoning, never and I mean EVER respond with you have lost weight; shows you care.
Let's see... Hmmm. Next time, if there is a next time someone pulls the "well you're fat" card try 'Yeah, its where I store all my knowledge. Which is why I won and you can't even put a good insult together, loser.' That's probably what I'd say 0 -
"Sure, and I'm working to lose weight, can you even work to improve those looks?"0
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well first of all, fat isn't a bad word! you can be fat and fierce and flaunt the heck outta it. but you can also lose weight, whereas that creep is doomed to be eternally ignorant, rude, and spiritually *kitten*.0
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"I am working at losing weight when do you start work on losing that rude and ignorant attitude"0
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Use it as motivation0
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If it was not your weight, it would be your hair, your skin colour, your face, your clothes. This was not a comment about your weight, it was bullying. A bully will find something to try and be hurtful about. Block this person and move on with your life.0
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I knew someone who liked to "start debates" on FB. What she was actually doing was trolling people, because she got a kick out of it and would then complain that people insulted her...0
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She already lost the debate argument when she stopped so low lmao
These people are so stupid no ones immune from anything fat homelessness disability poor lonely illness they just tend to think they are
Please don't waste your energy on her or any narrow minded human
I once got called fat by an elderly lady who was much bigger than me as I had a pushchair & couldnt move along the pavement to me fat is an easy word to use because society is so hung up on it
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you lost me on "political arguments on Facebook..." Go outside, do great things. The trees aren't going to call you fat.0
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tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I like to have political arguments on Facebook ...
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
That's just the way it is. Political arguments are controversial. People will insult those with whom they disagree in whatever way they possibly can.
If you're going to engage in political arguments on Facebook ... you've got to have a very thick skin. If you can't handle what will be thrown about in a political argument on Facebook or any other form of social media ... start posting pictures of cute cats instead.
Or better yet ... go for a long walk or bicycle ride or plant roses in the garden ...
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You just have to realize that this person saying this is their own insecurity. Even if their weight is fine, their insecure about SOMETHING. Some people just can't be mature and deal with their insecurities on their own! You're not the one with a problem, she is ☺️0
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »you lost me on "political arguments on Facebook..." Go outside, do great things. The trees aren't going to call you fat.
Yep, my motto.
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I would join MFP - Start eating right, exercising and work hard until I hit my goals. Then I would forget about that person.0
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tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I like to have political arguments on Facebook ...
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
So - every time you deliberately stand on a tack, it hurts - am I right?
- do you see where I'm going with this?
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tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »I like to have political arguments on Facebook ...
How can I not let this stuff bother me? It really does hurt.
So - every time you deliberately stand on a tack, it hurts - am I right?
- do you see where I'm going with this?
wear shoes?0
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