Bad weekend...stop the madness
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endlessfall16 wrote: »@mccindy,
If I said there was a wedding party over the weekend and I binge ate and drank, would any reasonable person start to question me: are you blaming the wedding party?
I would think that would be very strange thinking on the part of the person that asked that.
I thought I was describing a challenging situation. My wife's going out is just one link in the long chain of events. There are also my uncontrol of the situation, my eating, but the point isn't about laying blames. If I weren't taking responsibility for myself as Alyssa was suggesting I wouldn't be in a self help fitness forum. You would find me in ControlYourWife.com or BlameYourWife.com
Look, we're not in a self improvement or couple relationship forums. Keep your unsolicited advices on that part to yourself.
I'll respond, only because you asked me a direct question.
It's not blaming the wedding party if you said there was a wedding party. If you said 'my dad wanted to go a wedding party', and then said you overate at the wedding party, now you are passively blaming your dad for your overeating at the wedding party.
See the difference?0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »@mccindy,
If I said there was a wedding party over the weekend and I binge ate and drank, would any reasonable person start to question me: are you blaming the wedding party?
I would think that would be very strange thinking on the part of the person that asked that.
I thought I was describing a challenging situation. My wife's going out is just one link in the long chain of events. There are also my uncontrol of the situation, my eating, but the point isn't about laying blames. If I weren't taking responsibility for myself as Alyssa was suggesting I wouldn't be in a self help fitness forum. You would find me in ControlYourWife.com or BlameYourWife.com
Look, we're not in a self improvement or couple relationship forums. Keep your unsolicited advices on that part to yourself.
I'll respond, only because you asked me a direct question.
It's not blaming the wedding party if you said there was a wedding party. If you said 'my dad wanted to go a wedding party', and then said you overate at the wedding party, now you are passively blaming your dad for your overeating at the wedding party.
See the difference?
That's because you didn't ask and I didn't volunteer that info., there's always a reason. If I (innocently) gave you the reason why I went, I guess you would use the reason (any reason) to argue your point anyway.
Let's see if your logic works:
I went to this wedding, on behalf of my dad, who was ill and couldn't bring the gift to the couple (kinda stupid, irrelevant way to describe a wedding trip on a wt loss forum but whatever), and I binge ate and drank like crazy.
You: are you blaming your dad, or the wedding?
Me: What the...
~~~
The real difference here is if someone has a negative mind they'll see negativity. If you want to argue, there are million reasons to argue.
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75poundgoal wrote: »So I had a very high calorie weekend because I had a lot of stuff going on and I didn't stay focused on eating right. The worst was Saturday night at a function for my daughters school where they served lots of food, dessert and booze. I overindulged to say the least. Today I feel sluggish and tired but I am going to make myself accountable and get back on track. I need to lose 5 lbs in order to break into the 230's which is a short term goal for me. I am going to do it over the next 2 weeks. I haven't been that light since I was in high school 20+ years ago. I am posting this so it will be out there and I will be accountable. No more weekend slacking!!!
Sorry that your thread got derailed by the blame game. I think you are exactly right! Everyone has the occasional day where we go quite a bit over our calorie goals, but that's okay. You've got the right mindset with your goal to get right back on track, set reasonable goals, and you're very close to a sweet new victory! Good job!0 -
Been there! Just got to get back on track.0
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75poundgoal wrote: »So I had a very high calorie weekend because I had a lot of stuff going on and I didn't stay focused on eating right. The worst was Saturday night at a function for my daughters school where they served lots of food, dessert and booze. I overindulged to say the least. Today I feel sluggish and tired but I am going to make myself accountable and get back on track. I need to lose 5 lbs in order to break into the 230's which is a short term goal for me. I am going to do it over the next 2 weeks. I haven't been that light since I was in high school 20+ years ago. I am posting this so it will be out there and I will be accountable. No more weekend slacking!!!
It's March madness baby!!0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »@Alyssa,
No one said about anyone's fault in my post
Something is difficult is difficult. (I don't know if that's correct English or not but sure does sound right)
Other than that thanks for your sage advice.
Saying that it's difficult to stay within your goal because "your wife needs to go out" is placing blame on her rather than yourself, whether that was how you intended it or not.
I just think that it's healthier to recognize that the responsibility is always on yourself to not overeat. There's nothing morally wrong with overeating from time to time, and it shouldn't be something that you feel like you have to make an excuse for. Hell, I overate this past Saturday, too. I was at my mother's house, but I wouldn't say something like, "My mother always has her pantry stocked with treats, making it easier to overeat." It's not the treats in my mother's pantry that are to blame, it was only myself because I chose to eat them.
I see what you mean. In that case I also blame weekend for its existence, my genetic makeup for not letting me be discipline, not being able to burn calories by lots, the foods for being too good and too cheap, my sin of gluttony, anything but myself, me and I.
(Way to twist a simple situation)
Well that was unnecessary. I was only pointing out something simple and it is an important point to make when it comes to weight loss - you have to take responsibility for yourself or you will never be successful. But since that seems to be a difficult concept for you to grasp, I won't argue with you any further. I just hope the lurkers got some useful info from it.0 -
I didn't think you were blaming your wife at all, but yeah...I feel you. I have to ask my husband that we only go out once or twice a week or I will overindulge because I have a hard time controlling myself. It's not his fault I LOVE food, and the small town we live in has a wealth of local fine dining establishments with amazing wines, beers, cheeses, and wowza foods...if we go out, I'll have a glass of wine. But I have a hard time with one glass. So I'll have two glasses. But before we go out, I'll say, "One or two glasses, then home for dinner!" Two glasses later, I'm hungry and it's going to be another hour before we're doing socializing with friends and get home and get to cooking and it's really just easier to order a cheese plate or a few appetizers and, hey, ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE WHOOOOOO!!!!
Then I'm over my calorie budget by 4 digits. Yikes.
It's not my husband's fault that I can't control myself when we go out. We both need to go out. We both need to socialize. We both need a night off of cooking and being home. But I can ask him nicely to help me by limiting how much we go out together so that I can limit how much I overindulge, and since he's wonderful, we only go out around once a week 0 -
worknprogress7 wrote: »I always seem to slack on the weekends. For some reason, Friday night rolls around and I am like, "Screw it, I need a beer and some tacos!" And then that attitude persists throughout the weekend and I wake up Monday morning feeling horrible and having regrets. So I start all over. It's a never ending cycle that I can't seem to get out of.
The all or nothing mentality is what results in "starting over"...you don't have to "start over"...you're never, ever, ever going to be 100% bang on all of the time and you have to lose that mentality of "oh *kitten*..gotta start over"...it's all a continuum.
I've been at all this stuff for going on 4 years...I'm always loser on the weekends and that never prevented me from dropping the weight I needed to drop and it hasn't prevented me from maintaining for nearly 3 years...enjoying myself on a Saturday is pretty irrelevant to the whole...and sometimes it's a Friday and a Saturday...and sometimes it's a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday...but really, it's all pretty irrelevant when I'm doing what I need to be doing most of the time. I've never "started over"...I've just continued on.0 -
MommyMeggo wrote: »Dont ask me how much home made chicken and dumplings I had last night.
Just. Dont.
It was enough that I skipped weigh in today. lol.
Sounds yummy!
I had pizza yesterday and skipped weigh in today as well.0 -
MommyMeggo wrote: »Dont ask me how much home made chicken and dumplings I had last night.
Just. Dont.
It was enough that I skipped weigh in today. lol.
I can definitely overeat some chicken and dumplin's.0 -
MommyMeggo wrote: »Dont ask me how much home made chicken and dumplings I had last night.
Just. Dont.
It was enough that I skipped weigh in today. lol.
Sounds entirely worth it!0 -
I didn't think you were blaming your wife at all, but yeah...I feel you. I have to ask my husband that we only go out once or twice a week or I will overindulge because I have a hard time controlling myself. It's not his fault I LOVE food, and the small town we live in has a wealth of local fine dining establishments with amazing wines, beers, cheeses, and wowza foods...if we go out, I'll have a glass of wine. But I have a hard time with one glass. So I'll have two glasses. But before we go out, I'll say, "One or two glasses, then home for dinner!" Two glasses later, I'm hungry and it's going to be another hour before we're doing socializing with friends and get home and get to cooking and it's really just easier to order a cheese plate or a few appetizers and, hey, ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE WHOOOOOO!!!!
Then I'm over my calorie budget by 4 digits. Yikes.
It's not my husband's fault that I can't control myself when we go out. We both need to go out. We both need to socialize. We both need a night off of cooking and being home. But I can ask him nicely to help me by limiting how much we go out together so that I can limit how much I overindulge, and since he's wonderful, we only go out around once a week
If you were referring to my post, thank you. I'm feeling bad already for "hijacking" the OP I was simply relating with the op's situation about weekend binge eating and actually offering an advice about eating satiating foods to deal with it. Protein and fat make you feel full fast and limit the damage.
You are right. We all get into food/weight problem one way or another. No judgment. Futile to do so anyway.
I can only speak for my own situation. As couple sometimes it can get difficult. Interestingly I always think that it'd be much easier to deal with weight issue if I were single. Examples, I could play sport all day, eat or not eat without any consideration for family. But that's something I won't find out at this time. Cheers.
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75poundgoal wrote: »So I had a very high calorie weekend because I had a lot of stuff going on and I didn't stay focused on eating right. The worst was Saturday night at a function for my daughters school where they served lots of food, dessert and booze. I overindulged to say the least. Today I feel sluggish and tired but I am going to make myself accountable and get back on track. I need to lose 5 lbs in order to break into the 230's which is a short term goal for me. I am going to do it over the next 2 weeks. I haven't been that light since I was in high school 20+ years ago. I am posting this so it will be out there and I will be accountable. No more weekend slacking!!!
I suggest logging everything (I know you'll have to estimate for an event like that, but use the MFP food database, and pick middle-to-high calorie examples of similar foods, in the right portions). It will help you think it through, and be accountable.
Then think about what went less than ideally (you've already identified some of the factors in your post), and consider some strategies that will help you avoid a similar problem in the future. Make a little movie in your head of you using those strategies, and play it over for yourself a few times. Play it again a few times before the next similar event.
Other than that, just get back on your healthy track as soon as you can after something like this. An occasional over-goal event or day doesn't derail you, as long as it's occasional. Persistence and consistency is key.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »worknprogress7 wrote: »I always seem to slack on the weekends. For some reason, Friday night rolls around and I am like, "Screw it, I need a beer and some tacos!" And then that attitude persists throughout the weekend and I wake up Monday morning feeling horrible and having regrets. So I start all over. It's a never ending cycle that I can't seem to get out of.
The all or nothing mentality is what results in "starting over"...you don't have to "start over"...you're never, ever, ever going to be 100% bang on all of the time and you have to lose that mentality of "oh *kitten*..gotta start over"...it's all a continuum.
I've been at all this stuff for going on 4 years...I'm always loser on the weekends and that never prevented me from dropping the weight I needed to drop and it hasn't prevented me from maintaining for nearly 3 years...enjoying myself on a Saturday is pretty irrelevant to the whole...and sometimes it's a Friday and a Saturday...and sometimes it's a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday...but really, it's all pretty irrelevant when I'm doing what I need to be doing most of the time. I've never "started over"...I've just continued on.
Great point! I need to get out of the mentality that 'oh I already screwed up once today, might as well eat that too." I read somewhere once that as long as you are good 80% of the time, you will be okay. Because nobody is perfect. So I am trying to look at it that way. So I go out to eat Saturday night with the girls and have a couple beers. SO WHAT?! I ate well and worked out all week long! I'm not ruining everything and I don't need to go ahead and eat crappy on Sunday either.
I'm trying!
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endlessfall16 wrote: »@Alyssa,
No one said about anyone's fault in my post
Something is difficult is difficult. (I don't know if that's correct English or not but sure does sound right)
Other than that thanks for your sage advice.
One thing I would never advocate is using herbs and spices to lose weight. Sage is a condiment.
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Weekends are very hard !0
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i wish my kids schools would serve alcohol...........
not to the kids of course. lolol0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »I didn't think you were blaming your wife at all, but yeah...I feel you. I have to ask my husband that we only go out once or twice a week or I will overindulge because I have a hard time controlling myself. It's not his fault I LOVE food, and the small town we live in has a wealth of local fine dining establishments with amazing wines, beers, cheeses, and wowza foods...if we go out, I'll have a glass of wine. But I have a hard time with one glass. So I'll have two glasses. But before we go out, I'll say, "One or two glasses, then home for dinner!" Two glasses later, I'm hungry and it's going to be another hour before we're doing socializing with friends and get home and get to cooking and it's really just easier to order a cheese plate or a few appetizers and, hey, ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE WHOOOOOO!!!!
Then I'm over my calorie budget by 4 digits. Yikes.
It's not my husband's fault that I can't control myself when we go out. We both need to go out. We both need to socialize. We both need a night off of cooking and being home. But I can ask him nicely to help me by limiting how much we go out together so that I can limit how much I overindulge, and since he's wonderful, we only go out around once a week
If you were referring to my post, thank you. I'm feeling bad already for "hijacking" the OP I was simply relating with the op's situation about weekend binge eating and actually offering an advice about eating satiating foods to deal with it. Protein and fat make you feel full fast and limit the damage.
You are right. We all get into food/weight problem one way or another. No judgment. Futile to do so anyway.
I can only speak for my own situation. As couple sometimes it can get difficult. Interestingly I always think that it'd be much easier to deal with weight issue if I were single. Examples, I could play sport all day, eat or not eat without any consideration for family. But that's something I won't find out at this time. Cheers.
Oh yes, I eat very differently when I'm single and spend more time in the gym and otherwise channeling that sexual energy into exercise.
I have to work harder at creating a healthy lifestyle when I'm in a relationship but it's worth it 0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »@Alyssa,
No one said about anyone's fault in my post
Something is difficult is difficult. (I don't know if that's correct English or not but sure does sound right)
Other than that thanks for your sage advice.
One thing I would never advocate is using herbs and spices to lose weight. Sage is a condiment.
I love this kind of humor I don't see it enough. Awesome.
Semi seriously, I'm also against making foods too tasty when I'm trying to lose lbs.0 -
I love food -- for me part of a sustainable weight loss and maintenance plan is making my food as delicious as possible (and of course also choosing a nutrient-rich, calorie-appropriate diet). If I thought I needed to eat bland food to lose or maintain, it would be lots harder. That I really love and enjoy most vegetables (if prepared properly) and many other low cal, healthful foods and dishes is part of what made losing so easy, and the reason I do is because I focused on making them tasty.0
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