Frustration when trying to help other dieters
youngandaspiringxo
Posts: 74 Member
Do you get frustrated with other dieters who are just looking for the easiest route to weight loss? I've lost 12 pounds since I started using mfp 6 weeks ago and I've had people ask me what my secret is. I tell them, eat healthy, eat at a deficit and try to work out some. It's that simple. No one wants that answer. They wanna listen to Becky who lost 30 pounds doing the 21 day fix or Rachel who lost 20 pounds doing the lemonade diet. It makes me so mad!
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Hi that's the route I'm trying to go down too! How many "net calories" do you eat a day?0
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I got into a disagreement with a friend about CICO/eating at a deficit, and she's convinced it's partly that, but partly <insert whatever is trendy>. Right now it's low carb, which doesn't make sense to me with as much as she runs. I gave up and we wandered off into another topic instead.
People don't want the answer that takes time, they want the quick fix.0 -
I hear you. I've only lost 10 pounds in the last 5 months - sometimes lasting weight loss just takes T I M E - but hey, my cholesterol and triglycerides are both down 30 points and fasting glucose is in the normal range. You can't SEE that, though, so it's not a DRAMATIC VISUAL change.
Even with all the good information out there - via WebMD, MFP and other sites - people don't want to hear things like, "Even if you only lose half a pound a week, that's 26 pounds in a year."0 -
laurenceHarris wrote: »Hi that's the route I'm trying to go down too! How many "net calories" do you eat a day?
I'm eating max 1200 a day. That's because I work a desk job so I don't get to move around much all day. I also don't get to exercise as much as I'd like having a baby at home. I have a fitbit that I sync with mfp and it shows I typically burn between about 2000-2300 calories per day. And I never eat back my exercise calories. Doing this I've been so far consistently losing 2 pounds per week.0 -
It is frustrating, especially after having switched your brain to look at food as fuel. So many people complain about how easy it is for people to lose weight while they just can't seem to do it...as they stuff french fries and a large coke into their mouth.0
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I lost a ton of weight before my 2nd child. When people asked how I said I count calories and make sure I'm eating under a certain amount, they replied they didn't want to do that. So I then offered up that they could exercise more to burn the excess calories instead of cutting back eating, they didn't want to do that either. They then stare blankly waiting for my next suggestions... there is no other way, sorry.0
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I got into a disagreement with a friend about CICO/eating at a deficit, and she's convinced it's partly that, but partly <insert whatever is trendy>. Right now it's low carb, which doesn't make sense to me with as much as she runs. I gave up and we wandered off into another topic instead.
People don't want the answer that takes time, they want the quick fix.
Im part of this thread on Facebook right now that started with a girl asking about the best diet that actually works. One chick suggested injecting yourself with a hormone to lose weight! Like come on are you that lazy? Unless you have a medical condition hindering your weight loss there's absolutely no reason you need to go to extreme measures like that.0 -
I lost a ton of weight before my 2nd child. When people asked how I said I count calories and make sure I'm eating under a certain amount, they replied they didn't want to do that. So I then offered up that they could exercise more to burn the excess calories instead of cutting back eating, they didn't want to do that either. They then stare blankly waiting for my next suggestions... there is no other way, sorry.
Some people don't WANT to lose weight, they WISH to lose weight... sigh!!0 -
Espresso345 wrote: »I hear you. I've only lost 10 pounds in the last 5 months - sometimes lasting weight loss just takes T I M E - but hey, my cholesterol and triglycerides are both down 30 points and fasting glucose is in the normal range. You can't SEE that, though, so it's not a DRAMATIC VISUAL change.
Even with all the good information out there - via WebMD, MFP and other sites - people don't want to hear things like, "Even if you only lose half a pound a week, that's 26 pounds in a year."
Congrats on your improvements!! That's huge. It's also more likely to be permanent if it's slow, so kudos!
You are all absolutely right. People want a quick fix and then get angry when it doesn't work or when the weight comes back with a vengeance. I often try to stress this to my patients. Some of them listen. Sometimes.
One patient keeps asking me about various vitamins/supplements she can take, but she eats chips and candy like it's going out of style.0 -
Well according to an acquaintance of mine, all you have to do is take an itworks fat fighter pill that will prevent your body from absorbing all that bad fats and carbs, and you can eat whatever you want! Lolllll okay have fun wasting your money on that.0
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Boom. That's brilliant.Cortneyrenee04 wrote: »Some people don't WANT to lose weight, they WISH to lose weight... sigh!!
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I agree with you, so many people want a short-cut to weight loss and would rather do ANYTHING instead of eating better/less and/or exercising. These people also generally prioritise how their body will look rather than their health and it's a shame. Especially when their attempts to lose weight through different methods/denial will end up taking longer/never give them the results than if they just accepted that it takes time and a bit of effort! I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that sometimes the most difficult part is the mental aspect when it comes to losing weight.0
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I get very frustrated, but what I realized is that very few people actually want help. That sounds weird, but they really don't, even when they ask for advice or suggestions. What they really want is confirmation that the process of weight loss must involve excruciating temporary events, because the idea of changing themselves permanently is scary. They want to feel like they can continue their current habits for the rest of their lives knowing that they can lose weight any time with a quick fix.
That kind of makes sense. It would be nice if it worked that way, right? I wish I could eat thousands of surplus calories a day, demolishing entire pizzas and cakes, and then reverse all the damage with a week of lemonade. I'd totally do that. But I know it doesn't work that way, and I've never met anybody who has had success with that kind of method.
I came to the conclusion that I have to let people fail.0 -
My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!0
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youngandaspiringxo wrote: »Well according to an acquaintance of mine, all you have to do is take an itworks fat fighter pill that will prevent your body from absorbing all that bad fats and carbs, and you can eat whatever you want! Lolllll okay have fun wasting your money on that.
Yes and enjoy their uncontrolled watery stools. That sounds like so much fun! Not! Lmbo!!0 -
youngandaspiringxo wrote: »I got into a disagreement with a friend about CICO/eating at a deficit, and she's convinced it's partly that, but partly <insert whatever is trendy>. Right now it's low carb, which doesn't make sense to me with as much as she runs. I gave up and we wandered off into another topic instead.
People don't want the answer that takes time, they want the quick fix.
Im part of this thread on Facebook right now that started with a girl asking about the best diet that actually works. One chick suggested injecting yourself with a hormone to lose weight! Like come on are you that lazy? Unless you have a medical condition hindering your weight loss there's absolutely no reason you need to go to extreme measures like that.
There's a reason why the dieting industry does so well.
Get thin quick, shed those pounds, super foods that will drop inches. And some things really DO help. For like a week, until you stop it. I'd ask them how sustainable those things are that they're doing. "If you inject yourself with hormones, how will that help you keep the weight off? How often will you have to do these injections to continually help? Does it help you adjust to better eating habits and portioning so the pounds stay off?" That's why so many see weight loss surgery NOT work, because they're not given/haven't learned the tools to help going forward. They only see the quick way.
The sad part is, is that sometimes there ARE medical reasons these things should be done, but people just throwing out advice like that? Ugh.0 -
youngandaspiringxo wrote: »Well according to an acquaintance of mine, all you have to do is take an <insert brand name here> fat fighter pill that will prevent your body from absorbing all that bad fats and carbs, and you can eat whatever you want! Lolllll okay have fun wasting your money on that.
Hahahahahhahahahahaha
Suuuuuuuureeeeeeee. If it were really that easy, everyone would be thin/fit/in shape and SAID company (or companies) would go out of business.
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Some people just want a magic bullet / that one special trick that makes trainers hate him! / easy way out. What they don't realize is that the longer it takes to change, the more permanent said change will be. The discipline learned from proper long term healthy eating will stay with you, hopefully for the rest of your life.0
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The one that irks me is the Shakeology thing. A friend of a mutual friend goes on and on about how wonderful it is (yes, she sells the program) and how she has never looked or felt better, etc...what she fails to mention to people is that she devotes hours upon hours every single day to exercising. She has 4 kids and does this as a job so it is in her best interest to look good as their rep, which means workout at every possible moment and document everything on social media with her mugging with a shake.
When I mention to the mutual friend that CICO is working just fine without the expense, she regurgitates this marketing nonsense about nutrition and proteins and not wasting time tracking calories when she can drink this nutritious and delicious shake and then eat a sensible dinner.
I usually just avoid the topic altogether now.0 -
I've lost 60 lbs since July by tracking everything I eat (even my 3100 calorie New Year's Eve). By being aware and honest with myself, I've learned to balance enjoying life (and the food that's a part of it) with being healthy and physically active. When people ask, and I explain this to them, they usually do NOT understand that it's not black and white. You do not "succeed" by staying "on-program" and "fail" when you go "off-program." You succeed by sticking with it. I'm learning that the only way to "fail" at healthy weightloss is to quit. I'm also noticing that this change in mentality appears to be the common difference between people who successfully lose weight for the long term and those who only stick around for a short bit. I started with 100 lbs to lose and went into with the attitude that if I lose just 10 lbs each year, I'll still hit my goal weight before my son graduates high school!0
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youngandaspiringxo wrote: »I got into a disagreement with a friend about CICO/eating at a deficit, and she's convinced it's partly that, but partly <insert whatever is trendy>. Right now it's low carb, which doesn't make sense to me with as much as she runs. I gave up and we wandered off into another topic instead.
People don't want the answer that takes time, they want the quick fix.
Im part of this thread on Facebook right now that started with a girl asking about the best diet that actually works. One chick suggested injecting yourself with a hormone to lose weight! Like come on are you that lazy? Unless you have a medical condition hindering your weight loss there's absolutely no reason you need to go to extreme measures like that.
There are also a lot of people suggesting this girl stop eating meat and she will just instantly drop so much weight. And she's like, aw but I love meat It's all about moderation people come on! Meat is a huge part of my diet. Just the lean kind. Not hamburgers and bacon. And tbh I gained weight when I went vegetarian for 3 months. 0 -
I've lost 60 lbs since July by tracking everything I eat (even my 3100 calorie New Year's Eve). By being aware and honest with myself, I've learned to balance enjoying life (and the food that's a part of it) with being healthy and physically active. When people ask, and I explain this to them, they usually do NOT understand that it's not black and white. You do not "succeed" by staying "on-program" and "fail" when you go "off-program." You succeed by sticking with it. I'm learning that the only way to "fail" at healthy weightloss is to quit. I'm also noticing that this change in mentality appears to be the common difference between people who successfully lose weight for the long term and those who only stick around for a short bit. I started with 100 lbs to lose and went into with the attitude that if I lose just 10 lbs each year, I'll still hit my goal weight before my son graduates high school!
That is quite an accomplishment. I think you're right. Those who view it as changing their lives will ultimately change their lives. If they view it as a temporary endeavor, the results will be temporary.0 -
The one that irks me is the Shakeology thing. A friend of a mutual friend goes on and on about how wonderful it is (yes, she sells the program) and how she has never looked or felt better, etc...what she fails to mention to people is that she devotes hours upon hours every single day to exercising. She has 4 kids and does this as a job so it is in her best interest to look good as their rep, which means workout at every possible moment and document everything on social media with her mugging with a shake.
When I mention to the mutual friend that CICO is working just fine without the expense, she regurgitates this marketing nonsense about nutrition and proteins and not wasting time tracking calories when she can drink this nutritious and delicious shake and then eat a sensible dinner.
I usually just avoid the topic altogether now.
Or like this girl who "lost over 40 pounds in 3 months by using body wraps." Get real. You're not gonna just lose that kind of weight by wrapping yourself in plastic or whatever the heck that stuff is made out of.0 -
I've lost 60 lbs since July by tracking everything I eat (even my 3100 calorie New Year's Eve). By being aware and honest with myself, I've learned to balance enjoying life (and the food that's a part of it) with being healthy and physically active. When people ask, and I explain this to them, they usually do NOT understand that it's not black and white. You do not "succeed" by staying "on-program" and "fail" when you go "off-program." You succeed by sticking with it. I'm learning that the only way to "fail" at healthy weightloss is to quit. I'm also noticing that this change in mentality appears to be the common difference between people who successfully lose weight for the long term and those who only stick around for a short bit. I started with 100 lbs to lose and went into with the attitude that if I lose just 10 lbs each year, I'll still hit my goal weight before my son graduates high school!
That's the way to do it lady!!0 -
What actually bothers me is people losing almost a pound a day. Hmm, well I guess not bother so much as worries me. They are constantly updating their weight and it shows up on my feed. When I look at their diary they have 2000 only eat 1000 and exercise 700 off. As much as I want to say this is not healthy, I've been accused of being jealous or critical so now I just hide them off my feed. You can't make everyone understand.0
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JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.0 -
JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.
I think our frustration is more so with the laziness. Not from newbies not properly knowing how to diet. Yea there's a lot of trial and error that comes with figuring out a weight loss plan that works for you particularly, but it's frustrating to see them fail right off the bat by doing ridiculous things to try and lose weight just to get immediate results.0 -
youngandaspiringxo wrote: »JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.
I think our frustration is more so with the laziness. Not from newbies not properly knowing how to diet. Yea there's a lot of trial and error that comes with figuring out a weight loss plan that works for you particularly, but it's frustrating to see them fail right off the bat by doing ridiculous things to try and lose weight just to get immediate results.
And most times I don't even see this from newbies. It's from lazy people who have tried fad diet after fad diet and still wonder why they don't see permanent results.0 -
JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.
Yes, you're right. It's can be difficult to accept new knowledge and even more difficult to put it into practice.0
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