Most annoying things people say when your losing weight!!
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I can deal with the "you're getting too skinny" and "don't lose anymore weight!" and "you're not still on the diet are you?" and "I could lose weight too, but I prefer a well-rounded varied diet and not just salad" (that last one puzzled me given that my diet is more varied than it was before I started on this mission to lose weight ... and I rarely eat salad).
But twice now I've gotten the "old" comments.
The first was a few months ago when one coworker looked me up and down, and then said, "You'd better not lose any more weight ... don't you know that when women our age lose weight, they just look ....... OLD."
And then just the other day, a coworker was in the kitchen when I walked in to get myself a glass of water. "You're not still on that diet are you?" she asked. "I'm maintaining now", I said. And then out it came ... "If you lose any more weight at all, you'll look really gaunt and gaunt women just look old."
I'm not "old" and people consistently guess my age about 7 years younger than I really am ... so I don't think I'm actually in any immediate danger of looking like I'm 103 or anything ...0 -
Let's see how long it last this time, hahaha!!!0
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I mostly get tired when people comment about what I can and can't eat. At Easter my mother in-law was packing up some food for my son to take back to college. He said no on the cake and she said "well I know mom can't have any" . I told her I could have some, I just didn't want to take it home with me because I had already had candy for dessert that day. I can eat anything I want, I just chose not to eat things that put me over my calorie goal. And sometimes I chose not to have things even if they fit because they don't help me reached my goals (like protien) or I know that I'll feel hungry later and not have any calories left for the day. And my husband has already asked me more than once if I'm sure I need to lose more because he can't see where I have room to lose any from. (I am still overweight and about 20 lbs from goal and most of it is sitting on my stomach). But most of the comments I get are positive.
I would take the hubby's comment as the sweetest of compliments! After all, he sees you naked and is obviously happy with how you look. I'm 3 weeks in and haven't had a lot of progress yet, but my husband told me I was looking good the other day. He is always complimenting me, but it made me feel good for him to notice my fat loss / fitness efforts.0 -
My family tries to tell me that eating healthy is just a phase and I'll get over it... Oh well0
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Microscopes wrote: »I'm surprised people get upset with the "You're getting too skinny" comment.
I would take that as a huge compliment.
It's both a compliment and a slap in the face. It implies 1. that the individual making the comment lacks self-confidence and 2. that you lack self-awareness. I've had this 'compliment' a couple of times - there's nothing nice that can be said in return. Saying 'thanks' sounds sarcastic (and in my case is MEANT that way). Usually I end up making some comment about me having lived in this body for nearly 40 years and knowing it better than the commenter. I will decide when enough is enough, thanks.0 -
It's easy to say to ignore comments that other people make toward you, but the fact of the matter is that they shouldn't be making comments to begin with. When people walk into a room and it's quiet, they often brainstorm for something to say for the purpose of making small talk. What they usually come up with is something mundane or inane to say instead of just staying silent. This results in many of the comments people have been told in this thread.
If a co-worker were to walk up to you and say "You're so fat! You really don't need to partake in eating the birthday cake we brought to the office for Dan today" in most cases HR would get a call so fast due to the unprofessional and rude behavior exhibited by said co-worker. Why does this become okay when the comment becomes "You're so skinny, you probably won't even eat a piece of birthday cake we brought to the office for Dan today"? It's still rude and uncalled for. It's not a compliment. Rather than implying that you're so fat that you probably stuff your face with food all day, the person is now implying that you're so thin that you starve yourself.
People shouldn't comment on other people's weight, period. I ignore the comments people make toward me, but it gets old hearing that my metabolism must be fast, that I don't/won't eat cake, that I probably exercise too much, etc. If I turned around and told the commenters that they probably don't get off their butts enough or stuff their faces too much, they'd be offended. People in my immediate circle don't do this, so far it's just been co-workers and they are mostly women, sadly. People may think they are complimenting you, but "You look great!" is a compliment, not "Wow, you're such a skinny minny! It's sickening."
Then other people just go past the realm of inappropriate into "Who the hell do you think you are?" territory. One man at my job told me to stop losing weight because I still have to look like a woman. I don't look manly and to assume that I'm going to shape my body to be arousing for someone else is laughable. I've also told this story a few times on threads like this here on the forums but, after losing weight, someone in a mutual friend's social circle told people I lost weight because I was using drugs. A horrible, untrue rumor but it hurt because I grew up with a drug-addicted parent and even hearing a rumor like that about myself made me feel sick and angry, especially when other people chose to believe it instead of "eat less, move more".0 -
If someone told me it's so easy for me to lose weight, I'd probably smack them in the face. Or REALLY want to.0
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When average/thin people complain their fat to me...it's hurtful and discouraging.
I am with you on this. Similarly when they eat a tiny little bit of something and claim out loud that they LOVE food!
I am fat but some people are fatter and I avoid complaining about my weight around them. Not that they can't complain but it's not very thoughtful of them to do it around me. I always feel from those slimmer people that they are slyly trying to insult me.
Then again, it might not be about you at all. Believe it or not, most people are far more concerned about themselves to spend the mental energy trying to insult others on the sly.
You know what I don't find thoughtful? Imagining the worst of people and the belief that others don't struggle with body image just because they are at a lower weight than others.0 -
"Losing ain't easy, friend. I'm not going to accidentally waste away." That cracked me up. It's what I tell my husband when he worries.
No one's said anything awful to me. Mostly my friends, family, and neighbors have been extremely nice. I love it when they come out to the road to flag me down and ask my secret. If they're not careful, they'll get an earful of exactly how much I've lost and how. Now and then someone suggests that I've already lost enough (hardly! I'm still a little more than 10 lbs. from graduating from "obese" to merely "fat"). All I can say is that it shows how distorted our standards have gotten, not to mention how enormous I was when I started. Even so, I can't get enough of it. Bring the comments on!0 -
Someone linked me to this calculator: http://www.smartbmicalculator.com/ and told me it is so much better than the usual BMI calculators.
I filled in my info and it told me what the usual BMI calculators say ... but then it had a bunch of comments underneath including this one:
Weight management?
This is no issue for you, luckily.
Um. Right.0 -
Why you not eating, it's not good to starve yourself. Just be happy that your a big guy but your healthy. Really %$#@ lol0
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MsBuzzkillington wrote: »Nothing! I have to say the fact that only two people at work have asked me if I've lost weight is really disappointing. I've lose 20 pounds. My clothes are falling off... it HAS to be noticeable. But nothing... no one says anything, ever.
It has to make you feel a little good about yourself if people are saying you're looking too thin, even if it's annoying, at least people notice and it means your hard work is showing. Be proud.
Sometimes when people see you all the time the change is so gradual they barely notice.. Keep going0 -
I can deal with the "you're getting too skinny" and "don't lose anymore weight!" and "you're not still on the diet are you?" and "I could lose weight too, but I prefer a well-rounded varied diet and not just salad" (that last one puzzled me given that my diet is more varied than it was before I started on this mission to lose weight ... and I rarely eat salad).
But twice now I've gotten the "old" comments.
The first was a few months ago when one coworker looked me up and down, and then said, "You'd better not lose any more weight ... don't you know that when women our age lose weight, they just look ....... OLD."
And then just the other day, a coworker was in the kitchen when I walked in to get myself a glass of water. "You're not still on that diet are you?" she asked. "I'm maintaining now", I said. And then out it came ... "If you lose any more weight at all, you'll look really gaunt and gaunt women just look old."
I'm not "old" and people consistently guess my age about 7 years younger than I really am ... so I don't think I'm actually in any immediate danger of looking like I'm 103 or anything ...
Just plain rude on so many levels0 -
It's easy to say to ignore comments that other people make toward you, but the fact of the matter is that they shouldn't be making comments to begin with. When people walk into a room and it's quiet, they often brainstorm for something to say for the purpose of making small talk. What they usually come up with is something mundane or inane to say instead of just staying silent. This results in many of the comments people have been told in this thread.
If a co-worker were to walk up to you and say "You're so fat! You really don't need to partake in eating the birthday cake we brought to the office for Dan today" in most cases HR would get a call so fast due to the unprofessional and rude behavior exhibited by said co-worker. Why does this become okay when the comment becomes "You're so skinny, you probably won't even eat a piece of birthday cake we brought to the office for Dan today"? It's still rude and uncalled for. It's not a compliment. Rather than implying that you're so fat that you probably stuff your face with food all day, the person is now implying that you're so thin that you starve yourself.
People shouldn't comment on other people's weight, period. I ignore the comments people make toward me, but it gets old hearing that my metabolism must be fast, that I don't/won't eat cake, that I probably exercise too much, etc. If I turned around and told the commenters that they probably don't get off their butts enough or stuff their faces too much, they'd be offended. People in my immediate circle don't do this, so far it's just been co-workers and they are mostly women, sadly. People may think they are complimenting you, but "You look great!" is a compliment, not "Wow, you're such a skinny minny! It's sickening."
Then other people just go past the realm of inappropriate into "Who the hell do you think you are?" territory. One man at my job told me to stop losing weight because I still have to look like a woman. I don't look manly and to assume that I'm going to shape my body to be arousing for someone else is laughable. I've also told this story a few times on threads like this here on the forums but, after losing weight, someone in a mutual friend's social circle told people I lost weight because I was using drugs. A horrible, untrue rumor but it hurt because I grew up with a drug-addicted parent and even hearing a rumor like that about myself made me feel sick and angry, especially when other people chose to believe it instead of "eat less, move more".
That's malice and a law suit if you can prove damage.0 -
Office sent for take out. I asked why no one told me. "Oh we thought you wouldn't wan't take out you always eat so healthy."0
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When I first started losing, a coworker genuinely was concerned that I was sick. She wasn't trying to make a rude comment, and I assured her I was fine. That didn't bother me. I have a creepy guy at work who looks like up and down and comments on my weight loss from time to time, though...and that does bother me. Mostly, people around me are encouraging , though, which is nice.0
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"Why do you want to weigh that little, it's the size of a child?!" ..... Helloooooo I'm 5ft 1, so about as tall as a child!0
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One of my co-workers told me about how I should go on his "diet", because he lost 40 lbs on it. Then he sits there and tells me why everything I'm eating is wrong. I remind him that I have lost 75 lbs and kept it off. On the other hand, he lost 25 lbs of his weight while in the hospital for a week and has since gained that back along with another 60 in the past year. I may not know everything, but I know what's been working for me.0
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Hmmm, let's see. Just this week I have heard the following:
- You're not fat. (Ummm excuse me, but for MY BODY, I am OBESE)
- You don't need to lose any weight. (This is about changing my lifestyle and burning fat, NOT weight loss).
- You look just fine. (Just fine for who?)
- It's fine to go over your calories every once in a while. (You say that to me every day! And you weigh TWICE as much as I do, so NO THANKS on the advice)
- You don't need to work out every day. (Says the person who has never set foot in a gym)
- We didn't invite you because you're on a diet and we were going to Chili's (you should have heard that convo)
- It's just a few pieces of candy, take it! (You have left a few pieces of candy on my desk 16 times this week)
- One cookie won't hurt you. (I think it's really up to me what will and won't hurt me)
- If you wouldn't go to the gym every day you wouldn't be so tired and your body wouldn't hurt (What?)
- You go walking twice a day. You don't need to work out to work out, too! (What?)
AND MY FAVE:
Don't you have more important things to do? (More important than taking care of myself mentally, physically, and emotionally? NO. I don't. But thanks for asking!)0 -
You look different, did you dye your hair?; you need to put on some weight so you don't blow away; you run???but you are so short!, I can't lose weight because I can't just eat natural food because I like milk too much; yea loooots of stoopid comments.0
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I wish people would limit their comments to "you're looking great". I am not "wasting away", no worries. And I don't need you saying "you're so darn skinny" in a somewhat annoyed tone every day when you pass me. We've had this conversation.
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When average/thin people complain their fat to me...it's hurtful and discouraging.
That's your own insecurities. If they don't say anything about you, it has nothing to do with you. If a friend complains about getting grey hair, I don't take offense just because I have a bunch. If a friend complains about feeling so tired because of their kid, I don't feel offended and demean them just because I'm doing it with 3. We all have different levels of comfort and ideas of what our bodies should look like. If I want to lose weight, that's on me, and it wouldn't be right for anyone to tell me I'm being ridiculous, or roll their eyes, or get offended just because they are bigger than I am.
Thank you for this! I have worked very hard and spent a lot of time and energy to get healthy and improve my fitness. I'm not where I want to be, so yes, it remains a big part of my life and sometimes I will mention that I still have 10-15 pounds that I'm working on. My fitness and healthy eating will continue to be a big part of my life even when I get there. When people ask me what I've been doing lately, eating healthy and working out is a HUGE part of that. It's completely frustrating and unfair to have to censor your conversation around friends who might not be doing the same. I try to be encouraging and lead by example, but I never try to shame my friends who may be struggling.0 -
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"You can have one dinner out once in a while...."
No, I can't because I binge. I know what I can't handle, and don't want to put myself in a situation where I'll fail!0 -
My neighbour came around this afternoon for a cuppa, lovely lovely lady but she has been going to slimming world and said, why don't you join me! Arghhh.. Her family were having a takeaway for tea but she was going to settle for a boiled egg!! She proudly told me that she has lost 11lbs in 5 weeks. I didn't say a word other than that's great keep it up, because I didn't know where to start!
I've lost 21lbs, she clearly hasn't noticed and I'm not going to tell her. I certainly had more than a boiled egg for my tea!!!0 -
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I lost 2stone a couple of years ago and was really proud of myself for fitting into a dress I hadn't been able to wear for ages, one of my mums friends said "we struggle to lose weight don't we?" It was well meant but I'd rather she had noticed my 2 stone weight loss! She was really embarrassed when I told her I was losing weight0
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I've lost 100 lbs and was at an event and getting lots of compliments. One lady told me I was looking good but not as thin as I was when I met you. Yes it was before I met my chef husband. 12 years a body changes. I am trying to get it back. The words after but is hard to hear0
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I have one from today..and I know he doesn't mean anything by it..but..
One of the guys at work brought in chocolate chip cookies. Sweets are my #1 weakness and when I eat them, I will binge. I did it last night, I had a brownie which turned into four and donut holes, and ugh. I just can't do it again today. I need today to be a fresh start. He was like, "come on, we're gonna cheat today." I told him no thank you, but he kept insisting. SO..I took the cookie just to be nice. I wrapped it up and put it in my desk drawer. I'm going to throw it away.
I have to stay away from sweets so I wish people would quit making them and shoving them in my face telling me I can cheat every now and then or I need to reward myself because NO. The reward, for me, is not eating the cookie and being one step closer to my goal.0
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