Back again with pregnancy weight update, and freaking out.
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alyssa0061 wrote: »ArtsyDarling wrote: »alyssa0061 wrote: »ArtsyDarling wrote: »alyssa0061 wrote: »ArtsyDarling wrote: »alyssa0061 wrote: »You need to relax
Thanks that helps.
Since you didn't like my original answer, I'll elaborate.
Almost every comment you got on your last thread advised you to talk to your doctor. In this thread you've mentioned twice that your doctor didn't say anything about your weight. Did you ask the doctor about it? Did you talkabout your weight? It's your responsibility to bring up your concerns and worries. They don't read minds.
You said you were anorexic right before you fell pregnant. Does your doctor know that? Have you talked about it? Are you still displaying anorexic tendencies? (I'd say yes to that one but I'm not the doctor).
If you can't go grocery shopping now how are you planning on losing weight while pregnant? Not eating? You need to talk to your doctor. Tell them everything you've said here. Even the things they might already know.
And for your sake and more importantly your baby's,
You need to relax.
Yes my doctor knows I was anorexic, The first thing I told her when I met her.
You ignored all my other questions which leads me to believe that you have not brought it up with your doctor.
If you're looking for approval on losing weight while pregnant you're not going to find it here. Especially for an anorexic. That would just be enabling the behavior.
And heres some advice for you, instead of attacking someone who has some obvious problems and self destructing behavior maybe you could I don't know be a little less harsh. There's a difference between that and honesty. Luckily I am not THAT fragile. Be careful what you say because responding the way you did can enable the behavior. It definitely didn't make me feel good.
How come you're not accusing all these other people who are saying the exact same thing as me of attacking you?
I didn't ask for any advice. You did. I gave you that advice. That's not an attack just because you don't like what I said. I am responsible for what I say, not what you read or understand. If you choose to let my words enable your behavior that doesn't say anything about me. That's you.
Why are you completely bypassing everything that's being said about seeing a professional for help? You seem to be very picky about what "advice" you respond to.
Well like I said I can't do anything at 9 pm about professional help and I most of the people telling me to seek professional help didn't treat me like I was some dumb idiot. They were being genuine and helpful. I didn't like what many people had to say but they didn't take the tone you did, and you accused me of being a liar. Like i said there is a difference between honesty and being just plain harsh.0 -
Any good doctor will tell you to limit salt if you are retaining water weight/bloating excessively. I've had 2 babies and was told BOTH times to limit salt intake because I was blowing up like a balloon. It is also true that breastfeeding burns more calories than formula feeding (obviously) so a mother can eat more calories.
do you also have an ED?1 -
ArtsyDarling wrote: »I guess after reading this, I don't understand why you can afford fast food but not groceries? Lean meats and veggies/fruits are not expensive.
Secondly, BREASTFEED. It's cheap (free!), and yeah, it takes up some of your time, but there is nothing - NOTHING - that is better for your baby in the first year than your breastmilk. As your baby gets older, they nurse less frequently, and the bonding is INCREDIBLE. Please don't deprive yourself of this opportunity.
Fast food is more affordable because we can't both afford separate meals at the grocery store. He's a picky eater. I am not trying to make him sound like a monster because he's not. He does his best and he is trying to make the right decisions for us right now.
There's another thread someone posted about having a husband who was a picky eater. You should check it out. A good tip is that eating the same thing is unimportant - it's spending time together that is important. So each make your own food and store/freeze leftovers. You can then reheat leftovers as necessary.
I can't think of a situation where fast food is less expensive. I really can't. Even in terms of the time spent to acquire the food - cooking at home can be much faster, particularly if you cook in large quantities and just need to reheat food most days. That's 30 seconds to pull something out of the fridge and dump it on the plate to put in the microwave.
Talk to your doctor about your concerns about your weight.
[OT - I think I'm the only person who sees "ED" and automatically thinks about that issue solved by the little blue pill. It's maddening on these forums that it's the first thing to pop into my mind!]8 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »ArtsyDarling wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »ArtsyDarling wrote: »I guess after reading this, I don't understand why you can afford fast food but not groceries? Lean meats and veggies/fruits are not expensive.
Secondly, BREASTFEED. It's cheap (free!), and yeah, it takes up some of your time, but there is nothing - NOTHING - that is better for your baby in the first year than your breastmilk. As your baby gets older, they nurse less frequently, and the bonding is INCREDIBLE. Please don't deprive yourself of this opportunity.
Fast food is more affordable because we can't both afford separate meals at the grocery store. He's a picky eater. I am not trying to make him sound like a monster because he's not. He does his best and he is trying to make the right decisions for us right now.
Tell him to grow up. Seriously. It sounds like you BOTH need to grow up a lot, very quickly.
You're about to be 100% responsible for a totally dependent human life.
You need to be ready and thinking about that.
And what we're reading is: a child, and a pregnant lady with an ED.
See a professional.
I've already heard the advice see a professional quite a few times now. Nothing I can do at 9 pm. I know I am young, I know I have problems, never said I was perfect. I know exactly what you are seeing. I'm not stupid. I know what I look like to you. I'm not exactly proud over here of my situation. Do you think I am happy about this? Do you think I haven't even thought, "wow my life is complete *kitten*, I am 20 years old and having a baby. I have no idea what I am going to do." I'm not asking you to tell me to grow up or to tell me how much of a bad mother I am. I am asking you for advice on way I can help my weight and the notes have been taken.
You can contact a professional tomorrow.
You can say, "hey, I'm freaking out tonight, but will contact professionals to help me figure out this huge thing tomorrow". You can say "I know my BF's meals are his deal, and I'm nurturing a tiny, dependent life". And I'll say: "great!! do some deep breathing tonight. Have a healthy meal tonight. Good luck!! YOU CAN DO THIS! Good luck! We can support you as long as you work HONESTLY with professionals."[/quo
I can contact a professional tomorrow, I even said I would contact WIC offices too. I was even gonna call my doctor and talk to her more too. Guys, i'm not stupid. Today I ate, yesterday I ate the past 5 months I ate. The minute I found out i was pregnant I made some life changes. Many of them. I know I have a lot to learn and a long way to go.0 -
ArtsyDarling wrote: »MultipleHigh5s wrote: »You need to talk to your doctor. You may be at risk for gestational diabetes. And only your doctor can tell you if it is safe to go on a calorie deficit while pregnant.
That being said my dr told me not to gain much more than 25 lbs during my pregnancy. I gained 40lbs by 40 weeks, it was fine.
I just saw my doctor a week ago, she hasn't mentioned a thing about my weight gain. I was anorexic right before I had found out I was pregnant. Even talked to a dietitian about a month ago, she didn't say anything about my weight gain.
So basically you're still anorexic, now pregnant, eating junk food for all your meals, and having extreme anxiety. None of these are good for either of you. The weight isn't the problem your mindset is. The baby doesn't need cheeseburgers and fries, for the same price you can get a whole chicken. And probably a few greens too. The doctors aren't worried about your gain and neither should you be.8 -
ArtsyDarling wrote: »MultipleHigh5s wrote: »You need to talk to your doctor. You may be at risk for gestational diabetes. And only your doctor can tell you if it is safe to go on a calorie deficit while pregnant.
That being said my dr told me not to gain much more than 25 lbs during my pregnancy. I gained 40lbs by 40 weeks, it was fine.
I just saw my doctor a week ago, she hasn't mentioned a thing about my weight gain. I was anorexic right before I had found out I was pregnant. Even talked to a dietitian about a month ago, she didn't say anything about my weight gain.
So basically you're still anorexic, now pregnant, eating junk food for all your meals, and having extreme anxiety. None of these are good for either of you. The weight isn't the problem your mindset is. The baby doesn't need cheeseburgers and fries, for the same price you can get a whole chicken. And probably a few greens too. The doctors aren't worried about your gain and neither should you be.
I don't really consider myself anorexic anymore but I suppose to other people my mindset seems that way. I fight my mindset. I win, the stress of it isn't good for the baby. I find ways of coping and taking my mind off of my thoughts. I know the fast food I eat is awful for the baby. I usually don't get cheeseburgers and french fries. I actually get a grilled chicken wrap and it has things like cheese and honey mustard in it with some apple slices. I still try to eat decently when I eat fast foods even though it's still bad.0 -
A few things. First off, you're going to be ok and so is your baby. You'll find a weird well of resilience you didn't know you had. You'll lose the weight because you're young and you're planning to breastfeed. I think the advice to talk to your doctor is great.
From one mom with anxiety (and body issues, though not an ED) to another: get off of social media, including this site. Delete it from your phone and limit yourself to checking it only on a actual computer. Anxiety plus social media is rough. I got rid of Facebook on my phone and couldn't be happier. Focus on the real things around you, and find some free in person groups for expecting moms. They'll likely be people a bit older, but find the women who hold back a little and who aren't judging everyone (they can be hard to spot) and make some friends. They'll help you through this really crazy time. I highly recommend the podcast One Bad Mother, and they have a closed Facebook group of pretty cool people you could try (though that's more Social media). But find some people.
Also, breastfeeding is so so much easier than formula feeding if you don't have any issues (and even if you do, once they're resolved, it is easier). Moms with milk supply issues who formula feed are my personal heroes.
All the best!5 -
ArtsyDarling wrote: »I am 195.5 lbs now, I am going nuts. I am having bad thoughts. I don't want to eat, I want to do things the right way but the pounds won't stop packing on. I'm stuck eating fast food because I do not have control over the money so we eat what we have to to survive. Can't go grocery shopping. I almost wish I wasn't pregnant. I wish I could go back to December and feel like 140 lbs again. It's so embarrassing to go see people I know because the last time they saw me I had lost all this weight and became so pretty and skinny and now I am almost back up to where I was and I am only 25 weeks pregnant. It's not like I have only a month to go, I have a long time to put on probably 50 more lbs.
Can I lose weight while pregnant?
Talk to your dr. Get off this board and seek a therapist. Good luck.0 -
The most important thing is to do what's right for the baby. Don't dwell on it too much and enjoy this beautiful time
You'll get back to where you were after birth the healthy way - don't worry. It is normal for women to put on weight to be able to carry a healthy baby. I understand your fears, because I used to have an ED too, but just try to calm yourself down and make sure you get the support you need from your family and doctors. Good luck, girly 3 -
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OP sounds like you and your BF are very young. So in case you happen by again, some basic groceries really shouldn't cost that much.
5# bag of potatoes
onion (if you like them)
celery (if you like it)
bagged salad (same)
fruit...whatever is a good price that you like
peanut butter
oatmeal
sugar
frozen waffles
butter
eggs
bread
milk
cheese
frozen veggies
canned beans (dry are fine, but take a lot longer)
canned tomato...diced, crushed, sauce
canned tuna/salmon/chicken
ground turkey or chicken thighs
rice
pasta
seasonings
bullion cubes (cheaper than stock)
From Aldi you could get all this for around $40 and have a pretty good variety of meals. Meat is the trickiest bit most times so just watch for specials...many times regular supermarkets will be even cheaper than Aldi on meat because it is a loss leader for them.
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@ArtsyDarling, I am clearly not a woman, but my wife is. When she got pregnant with our first child she was a very petite little thing, she ate under her calories every day, she was a lifetime member of weight watchers, and was in very good shape. When she got pregnant at each doctor visit she gained more and more weight and she could not figure out why. Well she spoke to her doctor and because of how little she was eating pre-pregnancy and the calories she now needed to consume for the baby, she found out her body was in a state of starvation mode so when she began to eat a little more for the pregnancy her body was holding on to more calories than most other people. Once our son was born she dropped all the weight and got down to almost her pre-pregnancy weight.
Secondly I am a professional, classically trained Executive Chef and I know the struggles of meal planning on a budget. I am willing to help you by giving you some quick inexpensive healthy recipes, and meal ideas. Please let me know if that is something you are interested in.6 -
ArtsyDarling wrote: »MultipleHigh5s wrote: »You need to talk to your doctor. You may be at risk for gestational diabetes. And only your doctor can tell you if it is safe to go on a calorie deficit while pregnant.
That being said my dr told me not to gain much more than 25 lbs during my pregnancy. I gained 40lbs by 40 weeks, it was fine.
I just saw my doctor a week ago, she hasn't mentioned a thing about my weight gain. I was anorexic right before I had found out I was pregnant. Even talked to a dietitian about a month ago, she didn't say anything about my weight gain.
Oh god I hope you are a troll.0 -
MultipleHigh5s wrote: »ArtsyDarling wrote: »MultipleHigh5s wrote: »You need to talk to your doctor. You may be at risk for gestational diabetes. And only your doctor can tell you if it is safe to go on a calorie deficit while pregnant.
That being said my dr told me not to gain much more than 25 lbs during my pregnancy. I gained 40lbs by 40 weeks, it was fine.
I just saw my doctor a week ago, she hasn't mentioned a thing about my weight gain. I was anorexic right before I had found out I was pregnant. Even talked to a dietitian about a month ago, she didn't say anything about my weight gain.
Oh god I hope you are a troll.
I think it is pretty standard for health professionals to avoid drawing attention to increased weight when they have a patient with an ED history. For the sake of the baby the OP getting bigger (short of GD) isn't likely to be as big a problem as the OP being triggered to resume anorexic behavior.0 -
MultipleHigh5s wrote: »ArtsyDarling wrote: »MultipleHigh5s wrote: »You need to talk to your doctor. You may be at risk for gestational diabetes. And only your doctor can tell you if it is safe to go on a calorie deficit while pregnant.
That being said my dr told me not to gain much more than 25 lbs during my pregnancy. I gained 40lbs by 40 weeks, it was fine.
I just saw my doctor a week ago, she hasn't mentioned a thing about my weight gain. I was anorexic right before I had found out I was pregnant. Even talked to a dietitian about a month ago, she didn't say anything about my weight gain.
Oh god I hope you are a troll.
I think it is pretty standard for health professionals to avoid drawing attention to increased weight when they have a patient with an ED history. For the sake of the baby the OP getting bigger (short of GD) isn't likely to be as big a problem as the OP being triggered to resume anorexic behavior.
The gain itself is triggering her to want to stop eating, she said that herself. If her doctors know of her history, it's in everyones best interest to talk to her and get through to her about the risks she's taking for her unborn fetus. 25lbs is not at all unheard of or unhealthy, that wouldn't be the reason to bring it up. More so "how are you feeling about the pregnancy causing weight gain? What can I do as your doctor to help?" Etc.
Perhaps she isn't honest with her OB in sharing her anorexia.0 -
ArtsyDarling wrote: »I am 195.5 lbs now, I am going nuts. I am having bad thoughts. I don't want to eat, I want to do things the right way but the pounds won't stop packing on. I'm stuck eating fast food because I do not have control over the money so we eat what we have to to survive. Can't go grocery shopping. I almost wish I wasn't pregnant. I wish I could go back to December and feel like 140 lbs again. It's so embarrassing to go see people I know because the last time they saw me I had lost all this weight and became so pretty and skinny and now I am almost back up to where I was and I am only 25 weeks pregnant. It's not like I have only a month to go, I have a long time to put on probably 50 more lbs.
Can I lose weight while pregnant?
Try to relax. No. You should not try to lose weight while pregnant but yes, you can still track what you eat, measure and weigh your foods and eat sensibly. The whole "eating for two" is not true with pregnancy. The baby will take what it needs from what you are eating.
Is there a reason you can't buy fresh food from the store? Why are you forced to eat fast food all the time? That in itself is not good for you nor will you get the proper nutrients to your growing baby. I hope you are taking a vitamin or supplement as well on a daily basis.
I went through what you did seven years ago. I had lost all the weight from my second pregnancy, looked great, felt great and bam! Got pregnant with baby number three and gained 50 lbs during the pregnancy and was miserable. I am just now, seven years later, losing the weight again. Try to relax! You have plenty of time after baby gets here to get the weight back off. Just take care of yourself and try to eat healthier for now.0 -
Moniela1011 wrote: »Limit your intake of salty foods. It can increase water retention, which could very well be putting on the extra pounds. You can exercise while pregnant. I put on 70 lbs when I was pregnant and all off it came off within a few months after delivery and I didn't breastfeed at all. Just eat the recommended amount of calories for a healthy pregnancy and log what you eat. Just know that if you do decide to breastfeed, you'll have to eat more calories to keep up your milk supply. However WIC will provide you with free formula if you decide not to breastfeed.
Why are you encouraging this girl not to breastfeed? It's the best for her baby and when you breastfeed you actually lose weight way faster than you do if you don't breastfeed. Please don't try to push your ideas and thoughts on breast vs formula on a new mom. It's not right and that isn't what this thread is even about.
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Celery: $2
Carrots: $1 per pound
Mushroom, 8 ounces: $1.50
Tomatoes: $3 and up per pound
Green Peppers: $1.79 per pound
Avocados: $1.50 each
Broccoli: $3 for three stalks, about a pound
Cauliflower: $4 for a head
Milk: $4 per gallon
Chicken Breast $4/ lb. lets say for the week you want 5 lb.
$40 per week.... dont' tell me you can't survive on $40 per week.. and i'm over estimating the prices... you can eat healthy.. and you can go on 40 min walks.
Your baby's health should be more important than your weight gain.7 -
I know I'm a day late, but in case OP comes back, here are my thoughts.
It sounds like you had a panic attack about your pregnancy weight gain and frantically sought a solution. While I have never been pregnant, I do have anxiety and suffer occasional panic attacks. In those situations, I also tend to frantically seek an immediate solution instead of slowing down like I should. The first and most important thing is stop and take a deep breath. I know that is easy to say and almost impossible to do, but do it anyway.
The next thing to do is call your doctor's office during office hours. Tell them that your weight was not discussed at your last appointment, but you are worried about how much you gained and having these dangerous thoughts. Make it clear to them you are panicking and cannot wait until your next appointment, and need to speak with someone ASAP about your weight gain, potential associated issues/diseases, and what is important for your pregnancy in terms of diet and exercise.
I understand what you are saying about food and money. Especially when people are young, it is really hard to see that fast food, even the McDonalds dollar menu, is not necessarily cheaper than grocery shopping. However grocery shopping can be done inexpensively. Shop with coupons. If there is a Target in your area, use the Cartwheel app and look at coupons on their website (not the same discounts). Buying frozen fruit and veggies can be cheaper and they can last longer if not eaten right away since they are in the freezer. Buying grains and nuts in bulk is usually cheaper than prepackaged boxes. Pasta is cheap and one box with some veggies added will make several meals to last through the week.
It will seem like a shock at first because grocery shopping is much more money at one time than eating fast food, but that food can last you for all meals and snacks through the whole week. If you two aren't already doing it, create a budget that includes totaling how much you spend in fast food each week. And then try to make that your grocery budget, or use half as a grocery budget for you and your boyfriend can keep eating fast food with the other half of that money. My husband and I average $80/week in food which is $40/week for each of us. Over 7 days, that is less than $6/day per person. He and I eat different breakfasts, lunches and snacks, and eat dinner together.
I hope you find the needed assistance and peace of mind to have a healthy remainder of your pregnancy and even enjoy the experience.4
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