Tired, Sad, and Stressed - Willpower Question
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kiela64
Posts: 1,447 Member
I'm dealing with a challenge today, so I'll pose it to the group. How do you exert willpower against easily accessible treats when you're tired, under-slept, sad, displeased with yourself, and stressed? What's your best non-food method of coping with these things?
I know that over time habit decides food choices. There is nothing inherently wrong with a donut in and of itself, but I would like to start creating healthier habits like distancing myself from junk foods.
I know that over time habit decides food choices. There is nothing inherently wrong with a donut in and of itself, but I would like to start creating healthier habits like distancing myself from junk foods.
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A really long walk with your favourite music? A nap? A bath? A hot cup of tea? A chore you've been putting off? My favourite ...shopping?1
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Haha, yes I don't keep them in the house. But I mean eg. the Tim Hortons and Starbucks at my school. I pass them on my way to class, it's right across the hall from the library.0 -
I'll be honest, I often don't. I track everything, and that is what is truly my motivation, when I see that I've well exceeded my daily allowance. It's bound to happen now and then, for me the more important part is logging it and learning from it. Then the next time, I at least think twice. I also find that moving more, walking more, helps curb my impulses. I think it improves my mental health as much as my physical health.3
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I allow myself a tantrum, seriously, I either throw a pillow or have a cry hit the heavy bag. ..exert energy (all in privacy, of course ) I also rely on music to alter my mood.3
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Haha, yes I don't keep them in the house. But I mean eg. the Tim Hortons and Starbucks at my school. I pass them on my way to class, it's right across the hall from the library.
Lolz - I get you now.
Are you able to carry around pre-prepared food which fits in with your goals or change your route so it passes less places you struggle with perhaps? I think many people make poor choices when they get particularly hungry and it is far easier not to have to deal with temptation in the first place then to use willpower to fight it.
Alternatively you could allocate a reasonable percentage of your calories to making space for a treat.4 -
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There's psychological research that says self-talk and verbalizing your expectations are good positive reinforcements to positive behavior. It may sound hokey, but try one of these (or both!):
- * go into the bathroom, look yourself in the mirror like you were counseling your best friend and say, "You SO don't need that donut! You are better than that, and you don't have to give in to crap just because it's in front of you! And just think how good you'll feel when you just walk away!"
- * go up to that box of donuts and say, "I am SO much better than you! I don't have to give in to you just because you're sitting there--and I will feel SO much better when I just walk away!"
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Do a hobby you like. When your hands are doing something, you won't be wanting to eat. Hobbies are a great way to relieve stress as well as exercise. Call a friend or family member and chat while walking or marching in place.0
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Haha, yes I don't keep them in the house. But I mean eg. the Tim Hortons and Starbucks at my school. I pass them on my way to class, it's right across the hall from the library.
Speaking for me, based on your first post, I would be rocking up at Starbucks for a skinny latte...maybe an extra shot of espresso too. From memory I think a tall skinny w/sugar free syrup is 110 calories.0 -
I'm dealing with a challenge today, so I'll pose it to the group. How do you exert willpower against easily accessible treats when you're tired, under-slept, sad, displeased with yourself, and stressed? What's your best non-food method of coping with these things?
Tell myself that it will be better tomorrow and that I can hang in there for a day. That and make sure I eat all my calories with foods which are a little bit higher on the protein side of things.
BTW - that's been the story of my life pretty much since Easter. Working full time at a job that is getting busier all the time. Going to university part-time with frustratingly long and difficult IT assignments due on which I've got to do well because my job is allowing me to attend uni with the expectation that I will pass the courses. During the week I've been getting about 5 hours sleep while I try to accomplish it all.
I actually find that following my "usual" diet is a welcome relief. I don't have to think about food ... I just have to eat what I usually eat, and I will be fine.
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Acceptance.
Accept your suffering and it becomes much more bearable. Struggling against suffering, which is a major part of life, is what creates anxiety and unhappiness.
Everything happens for a reason, accept it, and better things will come for you in the future.2 -
Do you honestly never see yourself going to Starbucks again? Maybe try saying to yourself 'Not today, but Thursday'... allow yourself a day a week where you go to Starbucks or Tim Hortons and allow yourself that treat (adapt like make it a small or don't add sugar, or get only a small cookie etc). Really savour it and say to yourself that was nice, take some quiet time, sit, think (or not think but just experience the moment), be quiet in yourself and enjoy the coffee. Don't rush in and out and scoff the whole thing and feel bad.
The next day maybe sit in the Library and read for a while. The day after that go for a little walk somewhere nice and take in the surrounds. The next day maybe go and sit under a nice tree and have some time out. With every thing you do, savour the moment and recoup.
Take a moment or two in your day to be quiet, breathe, be in the moment rather than letting your thoughts take over. Sounds like you just need a little time out if you can find some time in your day (even 10 minutes).4 -
If you have the opportunity, exercise. Contemplate (i.e. find something beautiful and take your time - no less than 2 minutes - enjoying the beauty). Self control (willpower) is about managing your interests across time: giving up something today for a future benefit. Imagine the tomorrow-self feeling grateful for the today-self for not giving in to instant gratification. There are more tips here:
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/willpower.aspx1 -
(oops posted twice)1
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Wow, thank you all for such helpful suggestions! I made myself a herbal tea for now (a little bit sweet but not too much), and I'm going to pack my lunch and go to the gym for a short swim. It leaves a bit less time for working, but if it helps me feel better I can be more productive in the time I have.2
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I log faithfully. If there are treats, in the back of my mind I know I'll have to look at those numbers move so I'm constantly asking myself if I want the "treat" bad enough to look down at my phone and post it.
...and the list of inappropriate things I'm willing to face is now MUCH smaller.2 -
I found a new app called Happify. It is designed to help combat the negative emotions we are all susceptible to. If nothing else, it could be a distraction?1
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A habit replacement for me is I've substituted buying a calorie free or as close as possible treat in place of that bag of candy or chips I used to buy. A nice cold Diet Coke or fresh pack of gum are not the punishment of being allowed absolutely nothing. So when the itch to "get something" hits I'm now pretty good at reaching for things that meet my goals rather than trash them. Not ever getting something was not working!0
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Do you honestly never see yourself going to Starbucks again? Maybe try saying to yourself 'Not today, but Thursday'... allow yourself a day a week where you go to Starbucks or Tim Hortons and allow yourself that treat (adapt like make it a small or don't add sugar, or get only a small cookie etc). Really savour it and say to yourself that was nice, take some quiet time, sit, think (or not think but just experience the moment), be quiet in yourself and enjoy the coffee. Don't rush in and out and scoff the whole thing and feel bad.
This definitely. On Wednesday lunch times I go out to eat with my closest workmate. I still log everything I eat, and it normally means having a slightly smaller dinner or less snacks during the rest of the day. I love Wednesday's now and I really enjoy that meal, and spending time with my friend. So it's a real treat and it gets me through my least favourite day of the week!0
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