Tired, Sad, and Stressed - Willpower Question
kiela64
Posts: 1,447 Member
I'm dealing with a challenge today, so I'll pose it to the group. How do you exert willpower against easily accessible treats when you're tired, under-slept, sad, displeased with yourself, and stressed? What's your best non-food method of coping with these things?
I know that over time habit decides food choices. There is nothing inherently wrong with a donut in and of itself, but I would like to start creating healthier habits like distancing myself from junk foods.
I know that over time habit decides food choices. There is nothing inherently wrong with a donut in and of itself, but I would like to start creating healthier habits like distancing myself from junk foods.
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Replies
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A really long walk with your favourite music? A nap? A bath? A hot cup of tea? A chore you've been putting off? My favourite ...shopping?1
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Haha, yes I don't keep them in the house. But I mean eg. the Tim Hortons and Starbucks at my school. I pass them on my way to class, it's right across the hall from the library.0 -
I'll be honest, I often don't. I track everything, and that is what is truly my motivation, when I see that I've well exceeded my daily allowance. It's bound to happen now and then, for me the more important part is logging it and learning from it. Then the next time, I at least think twice. I also find that moving more, walking more, helps curb my impulses. I think it improves my mental health as much as my physical health.3
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I allow myself a tantrum, seriously, I either throw a pillow or have a cry hit the heavy bag. ..exert energy (all in privacy, of course ) I also rely on music to alter my mood.3
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Haha, yes I don't keep them in the house. But I mean eg. the Tim Hortons and Starbucks at my school. I pass them on my way to class, it's right across the hall from the library.
Lolz - I get you now.
Are you able to carry around pre-prepared food which fits in with your goals or change your route so it passes less places you struggle with perhaps? I think many people make poor choices when they get particularly hungry and it is far easier not to have to deal with temptation in the first place then to use willpower to fight it.
Alternatively you could allocate a reasonable percentage of your calories to making space for a treat.4 -
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There's psychological research that says self-talk and verbalizing your expectations are good positive reinforcements to positive behavior. It may sound hokey, but try one of these (or both!):
- * go into the bathroom, look yourself in the mirror like you were counseling your best friend and say, "You SO don't need that donut! You are better than that, and you don't have to give in to crap just because it's in front of you! And just think how good you'll feel when you just walk away!"
- * go up to that box of donuts and say, "I am SO much better than you! I don't have to give in to you just because you're sitting there--and I will feel SO much better when I just walk away!"
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Do a hobby you like. When your hands are doing something, you won't be wanting to eat. Hobbies are a great way to relieve stress as well as exercise. Call a friend or family member and chat while walking or marching in place.0
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Haha, yes I don't keep them in the house. But I mean eg. the Tim Hortons and Starbucks at my school. I pass them on my way to class, it's right across the hall from the library.
Speaking for me, based on your first post, I would be rocking up at Starbucks for a skinny latte...maybe an extra shot of espresso too. From memory I think a tall skinny w/sugar free syrup is 110 calories.0 -
I'm dealing with a challenge today, so I'll pose it to the group. How do you exert willpower against easily accessible treats when you're tired, under-slept, sad, displeased with yourself, and stressed? What's your best non-food method of coping with these things?
Tell myself that it will be better tomorrow and that I can hang in there for a day. That and make sure I eat all my calories with foods which are a little bit higher on the protein side of things.
BTW - that's been the story of my life pretty much since Easter. Working full time at a job that is getting busier all the time. Going to university part-time with frustratingly long and difficult IT assignments due on which I've got to do well because my job is allowing me to attend uni with the expectation that I will pass the courses. During the week I've been getting about 5 hours sleep while I try to accomplish it all.
I actually find that following my "usual" diet is a welcome relief. I don't have to think about food ... I just have to eat what I usually eat, and I will be fine.
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Acceptance.
Accept your suffering and it becomes much more bearable. Struggling against suffering, which is a major part of life, is what creates anxiety and unhappiness.
Everything happens for a reason, accept it, and better things will come for you in the future.2 -
Do you honestly never see yourself going to Starbucks again? Maybe try saying to yourself 'Not today, but Thursday'... allow yourself a day a week where you go to Starbucks or Tim Hortons and allow yourself that treat (adapt like make it a small or don't add sugar, or get only a small cookie etc). Really savour it and say to yourself that was nice, take some quiet time, sit, think (or not think but just experience the moment), be quiet in yourself and enjoy the coffee. Don't rush in and out and scoff the whole thing and feel bad.
The next day maybe sit in the Library and read for a while. The day after that go for a little walk somewhere nice and take in the surrounds. The next day maybe go and sit under a nice tree and have some time out. With every thing you do, savour the moment and recoup.
Take a moment or two in your day to be quiet, breathe, be in the moment rather than letting your thoughts take over. Sounds like you just need a little time out if you can find some time in your day (even 10 minutes).4 -
If you have the opportunity, exercise. Contemplate (i.e. find something beautiful and take your time - no less than 2 minutes - enjoying the beauty). Self control (willpower) is about managing your interests across time: giving up something today for a future benefit. Imagine the tomorrow-self feeling grateful for the today-self for not giving in to instant gratification. There are more tips here:
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/willpower.aspx1 -
(oops posted twice)1
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Wow, thank you all for such helpful suggestions! I made myself a herbal tea for now (a little bit sweet but not too much), and I'm going to pack my lunch and go to the gym for a short swim. It leaves a bit less time for working, but if it helps me feel better I can be more productive in the time I have.2
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I log faithfully. If there are treats, in the back of my mind I know I'll have to look at those numbers move so I'm constantly asking myself if I want the "treat" bad enough to look down at my phone and post it.
...and the list of inappropriate things I'm willing to face is now MUCH smaller.2 -
I found a new app called Happify. It is designed to help combat the negative emotions we are all susceptible to. If nothing else, it could be a distraction?1
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A habit replacement for me is I've substituted buying a calorie free or as close as possible treat in place of that bag of candy or chips I used to buy. A nice cold Diet Coke or fresh pack of gum are not the punishment of being allowed absolutely nothing. So when the itch to "get something" hits I'm now pretty good at reaching for things that meet my goals rather than trash them. Not ever getting something was not working!0
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Do you honestly never see yourself going to Starbucks again? Maybe try saying to yourself 'Not today, but Thursday'... allow yourself a day a week where you go to Starbucks or Tim Hortons and allow yourself that treat (adapt like make it a small or don't add sugar, or get only a small cookie etc). Really savour it and say to yourself that was nice, take some quiet time, sit, think (or not think but just experience the moment), be quiet in yourself and enjoy the coffee. Don't rush in and out and scoff the whole thing and feel bad.
This definitely. On Wednesday lunch times I go out to eat with my closest workmate. I still log everything I eat, and it normally means having a slightly smaller dinner or less snacks during the rest of the day. I love Wednesday's now and I really enjoy that meal, and spending time with my friend. So it's a real treat and it gets me through my least favourite day of the week!0 -
I'm dealing with a challenge today, so I'll pose it to the group. How do you exert willpower against easily accessible treats when you're tired, under-slept, sad, displeased with yourself, and stressed? What's your best non-food method of coping with these things?
I know that over time habit decides food choices. There is nothing inherently wrong with a donut in and of itself, but I would like to start creating healthier habits like distancing myself from junk foods.
Ive been logging a long time now. And have allowed myself that treat many times before.
What I found was that having had that donut, and then logged it, two things happened.
1) I didnt really enjoy it that much, it didnt seem worth the calories.
2) Later that day I had to pass up a much better treat because I didnt have the calories left.
Because of this, now when I see those treats on the table I just think about how Ill feel once Ive had it, and that generally puts me off!
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I'm dealing with a challenge today, so I'll pose it to the group. How do you exert willpower against easily accessible treats when you're tired, under-slept, sad, displeased with yourself, and stressed? What's your best non-food method of coping with these things?
I know that over time habit decides food choices. There is nothing inherently wrong with a donut in and of itself, but I would like to start creating healthier habits like distancing myself from junk foods.
Your answer is in your question. Research shows that lack of SLEEP and STRESS cause your body to release hormones that keep you FAT. Before you think of doing ANYTHING else- make sure that you get a MINIMUM of 8 hrs sleep per night, relax and take care of yourSELF. After you have committed to doing that, everything else will fall into place.1 -
I make room for those "temptations" in my daily calorie goal.0
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Haha, yes I don't keep them in the house. But I mean eg. the Tim Hortons and Starbucks at my school. I pass them on my way to class, it's right across the hall from the library.
At your school? You mean there are fast food restaurants inside your school??0 -
kportmanshark wrote: »Acceptance.
Accept your suffering and it becomes much more bearable. Struggling against suffering, which is a major part of life, is what creates anxiety and unhappiness.
Everything happens for a reason, accept it, and better things will come for you in the future.
Really? This doesn't make much sense or offer much actual literal advice. I don't think she wants to accept it. She wants to change it .0 -
Journaling, therapy, exercise, napping, watching an old favorite movie, reading... Those are all things that I turn to.
If I have a craving for something unhealthy, I won't deprive myself... I'll usually just either search for a portioned recipe: cookie for one, one cupcake - they exist!! or a healthier substitution... Baked donuts maybe? If I feel as though I *can't* have something, it makes me absolutely miserable. As time goes on, you'll have an easier time saying no or yes without feeling sorry, but for me it has been much easier to focus on limiting the quantity & making sure there's room in my diary to spare than to full on say "nope, can't have it"0 -
When I was losing, I'd bring tiny portions of a healthier sweet treat from home, such as protein balls, teeny homemade cookies, protein bars (tons on recipes for these on MFP blog), etc. I'd divide into portions of about 70 calories. With tea or coffee (black), I'd feel like I was having a delicious treat that satisfied my urge for something big, unnecessary and would ruin my calorie allotment for the day.
Now that I'm maintaining, I still keep this habit of smaller, sweet bites when I need a midday treat. Even a quarter of a purchased protein bar can do the trick.
Plus, I'm cheap. I hate buying fast food, since my own cooking is so much more nutritious and, often, tastier. When I now bake scones, muffins or a loaf, they are also much smaller serving sizes than at Tim's or Starbucks. So, I save money and calories.
Good luck. Once you break the habit, you'll be fine. Keep your head in the game.1 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
Haha, yes I don't keep them in the house. But I mean eg. the Tim Hortons and Starbucks at my school. I pass them on my way to class, it's right across the hall from the library.
At your school? You mean there are fast food restaurants inside your school??
Yep. We have a hot dog stand, hero burger, two Chinese places, a bubble tea shop, subway, kfc, Starbucks & two Tim Hortons. Welcome to university. Brand marketing to weak students.NewMEEE2016 wrote: »I'm dealing with a challenge today, so I'll pose it to the group. How do you exert willpower against easily accessible treats when you're tired, under-slept, sad, displeased with yourself, and stressed? What's your best non-food method of coping with these things?
I know that over time habit decides food choices. There is nothing inherently wrong with a donut in and of itself, but I would like to start creating healthier habits like distancing myself from junk foods.
Your answer is in your question. Research shows that lack of SLEEP and STRESS cause your body to release hormones that keep you FAT. Before you think of doing ANYTHING else- make sure that you get a MINIMUM of 8 hrs sleep per night, relax and take care of yourSELF. After you have committed to doing that, everything else will fall into place.
Literally impossible. Not going to get 8h of sleep every night. Never going to be not stressed about assignments. Exercise sometimes means I sleep less but feel better. Taking care of myself & losing weight/being healthier are not mutually exclusive, they are part of the same goal. Being fat & inactive makes my body more stressed. Being stressed makes me fat & inactive. There's no entry point if I wait for things to be perfect.Do you honestly never see yourself going to Starbucks again? Maybe try saying to yourself 'Not today, but Thursday'... allow yourself a day a week where you go to Starbucks or Tim Hortons and allow yourself that treat (adapt like make it a small or don't add sugar, or get only a small cookie etc). Really savour it and say to yourself that was nice, take some quiet time, sit, think (or not think but just experience the moment), be quiet in yourself and enjoy the coffee. Don't rush in and out and scoff the whole thing and feel bad.
The next day maybe sit in the Library and read for a while. The day after that go for a little walk somewhere nice and take in the surrounds. The next day maybe go and sit under a nice tree and have some time out. With every thing you do, savour the moment and recoup.
Take a moment or two in your day to be quiet, breathe, be in the moment rather than letting your thoughts take over. Sounds like you just need a little time out if you can find some time in your day (even 10 minutes).
Lol for sure, no way I'm never going there. I did make room for a small ice cap from tims today actually. But I did so after working out, and not first thing in the morning, and not accompanied by a donut. That's totally what I'm going for - deliberately choosing my treats vs "needing" them because I "feel bad."
Thanks again for all this awesome feedback!!! I'm really happy I worked out, I feel much more alive and less needy lol2 -
the best thing I do, when I'm in the lunch room by myself and cupcakes are staring at me, is I head to the bathroom, lift up the shirt, self examine, and then go, we aren't there yet. and by the time I get back to the lunch room with cupcakes I am mentally reminded to not even bother because it is just setting me back from my goal. if I do happen to give in, I just remind myself that tomorrows work load is gonna be harder tougher and more intense to compensate.1
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There are some fantastic ideas here. Here's one that I sometimes use - delay. I promise myself that if I am still desperately craving that food tomorrow I can have it. Usually by tomorrow, the feelings have gone away and I no longer feel like I NEED it, and there is the sense of accomplishment of not having caved. It stops the 'fix emotions with food' cycle, but doesn't ban the food, and allows for indulgence - which you can plan into your calorie count for the day.3
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