My Weightloss Makes People Angry...& That Makes me Happy! :-D
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All. The. Time.
Sometimes I say, "Yeah, I look awesome in my clothes right now but I also want to look great naked."
I'm a very reserved person, so it definitely shocks them into shutting up.
I've said 'you wouldn't say that if you saw me naked' to a few people now. Kills the conversation dead
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I have had the same thing happen as well. People were so happy for me up to 30 pounds. At 50 pounds I started getting snide comments, by 80+ pounds the people that were still talking to me mostly have negative things to say. Some people have also been feeling free to tell me exactly what they thought of how I looked fat. The things they say and how they put down the "old" me has been a relationship breaker. They don't realize the old me and the new me are the same person, the only thing that has changed is my size.....I think wow is this really how you feel about me or see me...what you think about a person struggling with their weight? I now see they are not the kind of people I want in my life.
This.5 -
I've never been obese, but I've always been the "chubby" friend and friends would make seemingly harmless comments that sometimes hurt my feelings about my weight. I know of at least one who is bothered by my weightloss and she is probably the most insecure of my group of friends. She's very skinny, and even if I worked my *kitten* off I would never look like her since she's 6' tall and I'm 5'
but she seems very threatened by everything and has started making more comments about my "chubbiness" as if she hopes the more she says about it the more likely it is I'll put the weight back on... 3 -
Sounds to me like they are jealous of you. I applaud you for your weight loss success! You would think people would be more supportive. We are all proud of you!
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I lost a friend over my weight loss. She was always commenting, telling me to slow down, I was going to burn myself out. Eventually she was indeed correct, I did, but her negativity really pushed me to it. If she'd just kept her thoughts to herself instead of berating me with them daily I might have listened. This time I really hope people keep their opinions to themselves.
I get it, people either mean well or don't like being confronted with the fact that they also need to make some changes. I just wouldn't comment on a friend's weight and don't understand why people do it at all. It's just sooooooooo personal and such a private struggle.1 -
it goes back to the old saying " opinions are like A&&H##les everyone has one". You have to decide for yourself what matters and that its really up to you how you look and or feel in your own skin. I know now that i have such an appreciation for people that have gone through the hell of losing lots of weight and what they learn about themselves while doing it....nuff said..:)1
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I strongly believe in eye-for-an-eye.
I used to have a co-worker who was morbidly obese (maybe 500 pounds) and she was notorious for making these flippant back-handed comments.
One day she brought a plant into my office for decoration because she didn't have room in her cubicle. I *kitten* hate plants in my office (because: gnats). As she sets it down, she goes "there, you're welcome, now you have something you can snack on, Twig".
The next day she had Costco-sized Crisco on her desk. The post-it read, "as do you, General Sherman".
Needless to say, the plant was removed; she avoided me and never let me hear her rude remarks about people and their size.23 -
Happens to me all the time now. I don't let it get to me. I don't think all of them are jealous. I think some of them are jealous, some are a little envious, some are genuinely happy for you and simply saying you look good right where you are (their opinion) and some think you look/or are sick and don't want to actually say you look sick. Truth is sometimes I see myself and feel I look a little sick or strange or funny. I'm not finished I'm still considered overweight for my height so I want to lose about 25 more pounds or so but I'm also strength training and toning so I think I understand where they are coming from. So the more time that passes the more I feel like they will adjust to my new body just like I need time to adjust to it. Especially if you have lost a lot of weight in a fairly short time.
Also, personally, I feel I can tell the comments that are coming out of each category. At the end of the day I am a much happier person and so most of the negative comments just don't even give me pause to respond.
I agree with the majority of that. I have not really had any negative comments, except my mom told me I am starting to look like a bobble head and that I am turning into one of those people who are grouchy when they lose weight because they are hungry. I know she loves me and I do not pay her any attention. I laugh when people say I am skinny enough or that I do not need to lose any more weight. I could lose 100 more lbs and I would not be close to "skinny". I have learned to take it all in stride and not internalize any negativity.2 -
Guns_N_Buns wrote: »I strongly believe in eye-for-an-eye.
I used to have a co-worker who was morbidly obese (maybe 500 pounds) and she was notorious for making these flippant back-handed comments.
One day she brought a plant into my office for decoration because she didn't have room in her cubicle. I *kitten* hate plants in my office (because: gnats). As she sets it down, she goes "there, you're welcome, now you have something you can snack on, Twig".
The next day she had Costco-sized Crisco on her desk. The post-it read, "as do you, General Sherman".
Needless to say, the plant was removed; she avoided me and never let me hear her rude remarks about people and their size.
Awesome! Maybe I should try something like this! 2 -
People like other people to stay in their assigned categories. I've had a skinny girl acquaintance tell anyone who'd listen that I MUST have had surgery (wrong) and a normal sized former friend shriek at me about how I'd be anorexic (I was thirty pounds overweight).
Whether I hear it first-hand or second-hand, my response is the same: someone else's opinion of me is none of my business. There's nothing they can say to that.7 -
could be jealous, you never know. Positive changes are hard - you've successfully made one - they didn't. Maybe it's that?2
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Thread is 2 years old3
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paperpudding wrote: »Thread is 2 years old
Well, slap me silly and call me Helen.3 -
paperpudding wrote: »Thread is 2 years old
Well, slap me silly and call me Helen.
It's OK. I really liked your rejoiner--I may have to steal it!2 -
Well done for sticking to your regime. I'm very impressed!
I guess some people may be genuinely concerned about your health. But others perhaps jealous or resentful.
The energy which comes with their objections will guide you to the response.
I'm not sure telling someone they need to lose weight will help, you don't want to be like them right....?
A killer smile would do the trick, voice how happy your are, how confident you feel, how pleased with your achievements. Perhaps tell them that people also call you an inspiration. I'm inspired by you.
Keep strong and well. Health is a major life foundation, treasure it.3 -
I dare anyone in my life to say anything while i am going through my weightloss because these are the same people who sat quietly while i gained over 100 lbs, so while i try to lose that same 100 lbs i dont want to hear it. Thats my feelings on the matter,take it or leave it.7
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My daughter dealt with this when she got down to a sz 12 from sz 22. It really bothered her that people kept telling her she was too skinny, even though they were sz. 4.
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My daughter dealt with this when she got down to a sz 12 from sz 22. It really bothered her that people kept telling her she was too skinny, even though they were sz. 4.
Do you think it could be that they enjoyed being smaller than her? In my circle, I used to be the heaviest. Now i'm the smallest. The girl who used to be the smallest became super competitive & would make backhanded comments all the time.3 -
Cutemesoon wrote: »My daughter dealt with this when she got down to a sz 12 from sz 22. It really bothered her that people kept telling her she was too skinny, even though they were sz. 4.
Do you think it could be that they enjoyed being smaller than her? In my circle, I used to be the heaviest. Now i'm the smallest. The girl who used to be the smallest became super competitive & would make backhanded comments all the time.
These posts go back for 2 years and am curious Cute....what is your total weight loss thus far? How are others feeling now to this point?1 -
Cutemesoon wrote: »My daughter dealt with this when she got down to a sz 12 from sz 22. It really bothered her that people kept telling her she was too skinny, even though they were sz. 4.
Do you think it could be that they enjoyed being smaller than her? In my circle, I used to be the heaviest. Now i'm the smallest. The girl who used to be the smallest became super competitive & would make backhanded comments all the time.
These posts go back for 2 years and am curious Cute....what is your total weight loss thus far? How are others feeling now to this point?
In total it's 100lbs. Since i've stopped losing weight, the comments have slowed down. The minute I start looking like i'm losing again, everyone starts having a heart attack. I've had friends stage a mini intervention, people still complained that I was losing weight too fast (1 lb per week) & a "friend" kept making back handed comments about my weight loss.
I would also like to reiterate the fact that I am NOT too skinny! I could actually lose another 10lbs.5 -
Cutemesoon wrote: »Cutemesoon wrote: »My daughter dealt with this when she got down to a sz 12 from sz 22. It really bothered her that people kept telling her she was too skinny, even though they were sz. 4.
Do you think it could be that they enjoyed being smaller than her? In my circle, I used to be the heaviest. Now i'm the smallest. The girl who used to be the smallest became super competitive & would make backhanded comments all the time.
These posts go back for 2 years and am curious Cute....what is your total weight loss thus far? How are others feeling now to this point?
In total it's 100lbs. Since i've stopped losing weight, the comments have slowed down. The minute I start looking like i'm losing again, everyone starts having a heart attack. I've had friends stage a mini intervention, people still complained that I was losing weight too fast (1 lb per week) & a "friend" kept making back handed comments about my weight loss.
I would also like to reiterate the fact that I am NOT too skinny! I could actually lose another 10lbs.
I give you permission to do as you see fit.100 lbs WOW!!!
Humans hate change and yours has been extreme....don't be shocked if it is intimated that you will gain it back.
You did it all over a long time period so now it is the norm of Cute. The comments will slow down unless you see someone you havent seen for awhile!
Post an extreme before and today picture for totally selfish reasons on my part for inspiration!
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Actually the thought that someday I may have this kind of problem (people telling me I have lost too much weight) is inspiring ... can't wait for it to happen. When it does I will have plenty of come-backs thanks to this thread!
But honestly I hope that for the most part I can be an inspiration to others and that they ask me how to emulate. I think more than anything the constant awareness of what I am eating and how much I am moving (or not moving on a long day at work) makes more difference than anything else. Combine that with a supportive MFP community and you CAN lose!1 -
Actually the thought that someday I may have this kind of problem (people telling me I have lost too much weight) is inspiring ... can't wait for it to happen. When it does I will have plenty of come-backs thanks to this thread!
But honestly I hope that for the most part I can be an inspiration to others and that they ask me how to emulate. I think more than anything the constant awareness of what I am eating and how much I am moving (or not moving on a long day at work) makes more difference than anything else. Combine that with a supportive MFP community and you CAN lose!
Yes awareness is key and it does work and works well with persistent logging!!!0 -
Happens to me all the time now. I don't let it get to me. I don't think all of them are jealous. I think some of them are jealous, some are a little envious, some are genuinely happy for you and simply saying you look good right where you are (their opinion) and some think you look/or are sick and don't want to actually say you look sick. Truth is sometimes I see myself and feel I look a little sick or strange or funny. I'm not finished I'm still considered overweight for my height so I want to lose about 25 more pounds or so but I'm also strength training and toning so I think I understand where they are coming from. So the more time that passes the more I feel like they will adjust to my new body just like I need time to adjust to it. Especially if you have lost a lot of weight in a fairly short time.
Also, personally, I feel I can tell the comments that are coming out of each category. At the end of the day I am a much happier person and so most of the negative comments just don't even give me pause to respond.
I agree with the majority of that. I have not really had any negative comments, except my mom told me I am starting to look like a bobble head and that I am turning into one of those people who are grouchy when they lose weight because they are hungry. I know she loves me and I do not pay her any attention. I laugh when people say I am skinny enough or that I do not need to lose any more weight. I could lose 100 more lbs and I would not be close to "skinny". I have learned to take it all in stride and not internalize any negativity.
I was re-reading my post from almost 2 years ago. I do not get so many comments anymore, as it has been 3 years. Funny thing for me was when my family says omg look at you or wow look how small you are. I know it is a mental thing for me. What I did, not so eloquently, was told my mom that I do not want to focus on my body or my weight all the time. It is something that I am working on. I have to get used to my new body and I do not always want to think or talk about my body. The whole thing is a process and everyone handles it differently. I would say the most important thing is to be honest with yourself first and then with others. It is your life.3 -
I hear you, some of my own family are the worst at times...I used to take it personally but its ironic how they are also the first to tell me how bad I look being overweight lol...I don't care anymore and carry on loving myself 1
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@OhMsDiva I hear ya! I still haven't gotten used to my new body and i'm still not satisfied. My family keeps reminding me of my accomplishments but I focus on my imperfections. So weight loss is no longer my goal but muscle building is. I feel as tho people will start complaining about that as well.0
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I think you are looking too much into it. I've had a few people say the same to me and honestly, I was pleased! I know I'm not 'too skinny', I'm at a healthy BMI, and I know they didn't mean it in a cruel way.0
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I think you are looking too much into it. I've had a few people say the same to me and honestly, I was pleased! I know I'm not 'too skinny', I'm at a healthy BMI, and I know they didn't mean it in a cruel way.
I doubt i'm looking too much into it! NO ONE should be angry about how MY body looks!!! I1 -
gearfreegains wrote: »As I strive to cut down on body fat for a toned, lean look, I’ve gotten comments about my face looking thin.
Not angry comments just observations, one of which was kind of surprised as though I was turning anorexic. I’m not. When you cut to a low bodyfat percentage I think it’s unavoidable that your face begins to look a bit gaunt.
Is your current weight the smallest you've ever been in your life? I ask because i suspect that when people are used to seeing you look that way for a long time, they can't seem to accept anything else? What are your thoughts on that?0 -
I lost a good 70lbs in 2011-12 and I remember my {male} boss actually saying "Hey skinny! when was the last time someone called you that". I said "never". I was also still technically overweight because even after losing 70lbs, I was still at 170.. no one had ever seen me that small and it got annoying that people thought they had any reason to comment on how I look. After I regained weight no one said "oh man you look fat".. so why should the opposite be acceptable. leave my fat *kitten* alone.
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