"Perfect weight" anxiety
nvigliotte
Posts: 6 Member
Am I the only one that has a lot more anxiety now that I am at what I feel is the perfect weight for me? Every night I wonder.. did I eat enough to maintain this weight? Did I eat too much? I weigh myself everyday because it gives me confirmation that I am maintaining my goal. I know that my weight will fluctuate up and down. When it does I feel anxious. I think.. Oh no, I'm becoming complacent and my weight is creeping up! Or.. Uh oh, my weight has gone down am I getting too thin? I wish I could enjoy my success without worrying all the time. I worry a lot in general. 
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Replies
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Stop with the weighing everyday! Once a week and measurements with orbitape (most accurate) every 2 weeks.. Stop driving yourself nuts.. especially if you're a woman (which I don't know if you are or not).. we have hormones and periods and bloated-ness and stress.. just relax.. eat your macros, workout hard, cheat once a week and weight yourself once a week, measure 2x and never after a cheat (balance meal).. this is a journey
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I am a woman. I know I should stop weighing myself everyday. I do (usually) avoid the scale after a cheat day. I just can't help myself. It's there in the bathroom calling to me to come step on it.6
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I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I have gained about 3 pounds from a month of celebrating turning 40 and can't get it off and I'm totally panicked yet I know it's fine. I know my measurements haven't changed but I can't stop thinking about it.2
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Honestly, you really shouldn't be having so much anxiety over maintaining a 'perfect weight'. For me, maintenance is a certain range rather than a specific number. For instance this past fall I lost about 7lbs (unintentionally) from stress. This spring I gained 10 lbs (unintentionally), because I was focused on graduating. And for me this is normal. I think it's slightly unhealthy to obsess about one insignificant number, especially since women fluctuate like crazy. I lose weight, I gain weight, and then I lose weight again, because I've found that living my life and achieving my nonfitness related goals are more important than a simple number on a scale.11
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Move the scale, look into CBT for the anxiety.1
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MichelleLei1 wrote: »Honestly, you really shouldn't be having so much anxiety over maintaining a 'perfect weight'. For me, maintenance is a certain range rather than a specific number. For instance this past fall I lost about 7lbs (unintentionally) from stress. This spring I gained 10 lbs (unintentionally), because I was focused on graduating. And for me this is normal. I think it's slightly unhealthy to obsess about one insignificant number, especially since women fluctuate like crazy. I lose weight, I gain weight, and then I lose weight again, because I've found that living my life and achieving my nonfitness related goals are more important than a simple number on a scale.
Yup, weight fluctuations are completely normal. I have a range I normally fall into. Then I have a take action number in my mind. I normally weigh 100-102. My take action number is 98 pounds and 104 pounds. I gotta say I have seen 104 a few times and done nothing though.
If I have a higher than normal number and I know it is from the combination of a heavy eating day and normal monthly fluctuations I just monitor for 4-5 days before lowering my calories. Usually I swing back into my normal range.
nvigliotte - sorry to go off topic. Your dog is ridiculously cute!!!!5 -
Have a goal range of +/- 5lbs. Stop weighing every day if you are going to fret about fluctuations. Enjoy maintenance, its a great place to be imo
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Yep, this is me too. I lost 20 kgs as of around a year ago and am forever stuck in this cycle of weighing myself every few days, judging myself, thinking if every day was a "good" day or a "bad" day. If it's a bad day, I eat less or exercise more til I get back to the target weight and I feel crappy and worried I will get fat again. If it's a good day, then I might have a square of chocolate as a reward and feel ok. It's a neverending cycle but I kind of figure it's just how I will ensure I never put that weight on again. The good news is that I haven't put anything back on in a year. Everyone deals with this differently - I am trying to be less anxious about it and it's slowly changing. Just try to cut yourself some slack. Your weight will vary but maybe have an upper limit where you to action rather than looking all the time. That's what I'm aiming for! Good luck.3
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nvigliotte wrote: »Am I the only one that has a lot more anxiety now that I am at what I feel is the perfect weight for me? Every night I wonder.. did I eat enough to maintain this weight? Did I eat too much? I weigh myself everyday because it gives me confirmation that I am maintaining my goal. I know that my weight will fluctuate up and down. When it does I feel anxious. I think.. Oh no, I'm becoming complacent and my weight is creeping up! Or.. Uh oh, my weight has gone down am I getting too thin? I wish I could enjoy my success without worrying all the time. I worry a lot in general.
No, I lost all of my excess weight years ago and since then it's been a constant check to see that I haven't started putting any back on. All the time and work that went into getting here, I'm paranoid it'll all be for nothing if I don't keep check.1 -
I let it go. And unlike some folks, I find weighing every day makes me worry less because I see the fluctuations and know they're okay.
Anxiety is a personality trait - some people are just worriers. When I was at a deficit, this was kind of a hobby and I thought about it a lot. Now I maintain and have other hobbies. Learn to play the banjo. Worked for me.6 -
nvigliotte wrote: »Am I the only one that has a lot more anxiety now that I am at what I feel is the perfect weight for me? Every night I wonder.. did I eat enough to maintain this weight? Did I eat too much? I weigh myself everyday because it gives me confirmation that I am maintaining my goal. I know that my weight will fluctuate up and down. When it does I feel anxious. I think.. Oh no, I'm becoming complacent and my weight is creeping up! Or.. Uh oh, my weight has gone down am I getting too thin? I wish I could enjoy my success without worrying all the time. I worry a lot in general.
Should speak with a doctor about how you feel not random people on the internet.0 -
If you're doing a competition and need to make weight, then it make sense to weigh in everyday, which is what I did. But when you become obsessive with weight gain/loss, that's when it takes over your entire day, emotions and physical well-being. Stop weighing yourself daily, eat healthy and sometimes cheat and have a doughnut. It's whether you feel comfortable with yourself and how you fit into clothes than the numbers on the scale3
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If you are doing this, I recommend getting professional help. We're not qualified to help you.2
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Coming from the perspective of someone who lost 70 pounds, only to gain it back, and now down 45 again -- I understand being anxious or mildly obsessive about maintenance. Hopefully, once you settle in with it, that part will get easier. While I don't advocate encourage anxiety, I do encourage vigilance. It's just painful to do it all again.8
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nvigliotte wrote: »I am a woman. I know I should stop weighing myself everyday. I do (usually) avoid the scale after a cheat day. I just can't help myself. It's there in the bathroom calling to me to come step on it.
I weight myself when I feel skinny. (You know what I mean; sometimes we feel heavy and sometimes we feel light . Do it on one of those light mornings) & only once a week Max. If you're in maintenance then I don't think it's necessary to weight daily and it also feeds that anxiety that we all know about. It sucks. it makes you feel defeated because when you were losing you dreamed about how happy and content you'd feel once you got to goal. The truth is, it's the start of a another battle. Just one where you can eat more. And if you want to do that, then exercise more4 -
nvigliotte wrote: »Am I the only one that has a lot more anxiety now that I am at what I feel is the perfect weight for me? Every night I wonder.. did I eat enough to maintain this weight? Did I eat too much? I weigh myself everyday because it gives me confirmation that I am maintaining my goal. I know that my weight will fluctuate up and down. When it does I feel anxious. I think.. Oh no, I'm becoming complacent and my weight is creeping up! Or.. Uh oh, my weight has gone down am I getting too thin? I wish I could enjoy my success without worrying all the time. I worry a lot in general.
No, I lost all of my excess weight years ago and since then it's been a constant check to see that I haven't started putting any back on. All the time and work that went into getting here, I'm paranoid it'll all be for nothing if I don't keep check.
Then make a conscious choice every day to keep it in check. You're in control of that. Own it.2 -
One of the things that successful maintainers do is weight themselves every day. That way they can quickly catch any gains before they turn into much bigger gains. You say you have a lot of anxiety in general - have you seen anyone for it? Medication and cognitive behavioral therapy saved my life.
Best.
http://www.livescience.com/53863-best-way-keep-weight-off.html4 -
Do you use a weight trending app (Trendweight, Happy Scale, Libra, others)? That can help one see the big picture amongst the fluctuations.
I've weighed myself daily for years, even when not trying to lose, and graphed the result on graph paper before starting to use Libra. While this may sound obsessive to some, the truth is that I'm a data geek who keeps track of lots of things. I've been watching my fluctuations long enough that they don't worry me at all, because I understand them very well - what causes them, how long before water weight will disappear, that sort of thing.
If this is causing you serious anxiety, talking to a counselor might be a good idea - it can be very helpful.
(P.S. Anxiety about weighing and one's weight is not a universal among women.)
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I weigh myself daily and enter it weekly or every other week. Weighing daily is NOT compulsive, over thinking every up/down is. Many people use other apps to get a trending of their weight, I find changing my progress graph to all my entered data or 1 year allows you to see minor daily fluctuations for what they are...minor. it is pretty simple looking at that much data what the trend is. If you can't then a app that does it for you may ease your mind.1
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I've been maintaining for 6mos now, and I'm getting much better about that. In the beginning I did freak out a lot, but now after some time has gone by I see how over/under eating here and there just tends to even itself out. My weight fluctuates a couple pounds up sometimes, but now I can pinpoint if it's water, a day of heavy eating, ect.... And I know it will fall back off quickly. Give it some time and you'll start to relax once the newness of maintenance wears off.
As far as weighing, I do weigh myself every morning. I've found it helpful in seeing how different food days or times of the month affect the number I get. It helped me stop worrying so much.2 -
Glad I'm not the only one! I'm still getting used to being on maintenance. But I also think that the really telling thing will be how your clothes fit. I'd be more concerned if the new clothes that I bought in a smaller size were getting too tight. Yesterday was an off day for me for sure and I saw it on the scale this morning, but I know that I can get back on track by putting a bit more effort in today!3
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leesecarriere wrote: »Glad I'm not the only one! I'm still getting used to being on maintenance. But I also think that the really telling thing will be how your clothes fit. I'd be more concerned if the new clothes that I bought in a smaller size were getting too tight. Yesterday was an off day for me for sure and I saw it on the scale this morning, but I know that I can get back on track by putting a bit more effort in today!
Yeah...if they're continually tight you know to back off a little. LOL! But if someone is retaining some water...their midsection get a bit bloated so a waistband feels tighter, that's just the way it goes sometimes. Nothing to get crazy over.
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Yep, this is me too. I lost 20 kgs as of around a year ago and am forever stuck in this cycle of weighing myself every few days, judging myself, thinking if every day was a "good" day or a "bad" day. If it's a bad day, I eat less or exercise more til I get back to the target weight and I feel crappy and worried I will get fat again. If it's a good day, then I might have a square of chocolate as a reward and feel ok. It's a neverending cycle but I kind of figure it's just how I will ensure I never put that weight on again. The good news is that I haven't put anything back on in a year. Everyone deals with this differently - I am trying to be less anxious about it and it's slowly changing. Just try to cut yourself some slack. Your weight will vary but maybe have an upper limit where you to action rather than looking all the time. That's what I'm aiming for! Good luck.
I have lost 64 pounds since July 30th of last year. I've been mostly maintaining with a slight loss since mid January.
I've given myself a 4 pound window.... and that seems to work for me. I'm 5'9" and can carry a lot of weight although now at 141 I realize I am not large framed as I had always though...just tall!
Weighing every morning when I wake up works for me. If I don't I wonder myself silly. I know that a poor sleep or too much sodium puts me at the top of my weight window, so I've learned to log accurately and not worry the gain. I know it will be gone in a few days, if I don't eat silly.... I don't want to get to the place where my clothes are snug before I take action. Been there and it didn't work for me at all.....
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I once heard someone say they follow the rule "it's not really until it's consistent for three days". So if you have a fluctuation up or down, don't stress it. If you go up for three days straight, then switch to a slight deficit until you're back down. This is something I plan to incorporate.1
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A weekly weigh-in is more than enough, even for someone like me who only allows a +/- of 3 lbs. I know it would be damn near impossible for me to gain 3 lbs in a week unless I were snorting a box of donuts for dinner every day. When I go 3 over, I just diet for a week or two and it's gone. If I go under, I eat more. That simple. It's so much easier to exist when you're not obsessing about every calorie and pound.1
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nvigliotte wrote: »Am I the only one that has a lot more anxiety now that I am at what I feel is the perfect weight for me? Every night I wonder.. did I eat enough to maintain this weight? Did I eat too much? I weigh myself everyday because it gives me confirmation that I am maintaining my goal. I know that my weight will fluctuate up and down. When it does I feel anxious. I think.. Oh no, I'm becoming complacent and my weight is creeping up! Or.. Uh oh, my weight has gone down am I getting too thin? I wish I could enjoy my success without worrying all the time. I worry a lot in general.
Try to go by your image, not your weight. It has always worked for me.0 -
TitaniaEcks wrote: »A weekly weigh-in is more than enough, even for someone like me who only allows a +/- of 3 lbs. I know it would be damn near impossible for me to gain 3 lbs in a week unless I were snorting a box of donuts for dinner every day. When I go 3 over, I just diet for a week or two and it's gone. If I go under, I eat more. That simple. It's so much easier to exist when you're not obsessing about every calorie and pound.
Snorting a box of donuts, LMAO1 -
I keep a 10lb range. If I get above 130 or below 120, then I consider doing something. The exceptions would be for vacations which I calorie bank for and try to get to the bottom or even below the range so I can eat like a blue whale. Otherwise, meh, as long as it is in range.
Oddly enough, I can't really go on clothing size. I 'gained' 9lbs during my two week vacation binge I just got back from and nothing fit noticeably different. Have lost the vast majority of the weight in the past days and still, not too much different. I have no clue where my body was hoarding this weight, but it was pretty well distributed in any case.2 -
QuietBloom wrote: »One of the things that successful maintainers do is weight themselves every day. That way they can quickly catch any gains before they turn into much bigger gains. You say you have a lot of anxiety in general - have you seen anyone for it? Medication and cognitive behavioral therapy saved my life.
Best.
http://www.livescience.com/53863-best-way-keep-weight-off.html
Hm. Interesting article. It says, literally, to consume 1380 calories a day and to exercise 45 minutes a day. Those numbers don't make sense unless you're seriously tiny. For example, to maintain my weight without exercise I'm at 1850 and my TDEE is more like 2200-2300. & I do cardio maybe a total of 200 hours a week because of my work schedule. & I think that's realistic for a lot of people in maintenance.
It also says that those who have lost weight have slowed metabolisms than those who have always been that weight - something I look at suspiciously also. It says those who never gained he weight can eat 300-400 more calories a day and not gain weight.1 -
I control my anxiety by weighing every day, averaging out every 7, and counting my macros and calories. Then there is nothing to worry about.3
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